Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep tonight or I'm going to make Lucysolaice123 very sad:)

"Bro stop staring at my cake like you're going to take it," Killua slid his plate slightly away from you. Shielding it with his arm, "It's poisoned it will literally kill you."

"I'll take that risk," You grinned, propping your elbow on the table, leaning your cheek against your knuckles, still eyeing his cake.

"You realize you can get your own cake," Killua hissed, sliding his plate even further away.

"No, I want your cake."

"Suck it up, get your own."

"No thanks."

Without any further warning, you kicked the leg of Killua's chair. Grabbing his plate of cake while he fell over.

Shuffling at least four forkfuls into your mouth in the time Killua took to get back up and steal his dessert back, you just grinned.

"I hate you." Killua huffed, tearing his cake back onto his place at the table as a butler picked up his chair, "I hope you know I won't care once you start foaming at the mouth because of the poison."

Quickly swallowing the chocolate cake, you just grinned at him, reaching over to ruffle his hair "You'll miss me."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will-"

"Y/n, you may die." Illumi finally cut in, no hint of concern in his tone.

The man was an enigma at times.

"They'll be fine," Zeno assured with full confidence. Looking almost like he didn't want to be here. You couldn't tell, the man was hard to read.

"How do you know, slut?"

Maybe you shouldn't call your grandfather in law a slut, in hindsight.

Silva—as you now know Killua and Illumi's dad to be named—didn't look too pleased at your disrespect.

"I doubt you'd die of conventional means." Zeno stated simply.

"Poisoned by chocolate cake is conventional?" You countered as you took a bite of your food.

Killua's tasted better, maybe you should take more.

"Yes."

"Maybe should've stopped me from eating it then." You shrugged your shoulders.

"Maybe you shouldn't have stolen it then, insolent brat." Zeno didn't seem at all upset or annoyed by your insolence, despite his words. Silva was probably only bearing it because Zeno was.

"Maybe he shouldn't have been so easy to steal from."

"Hey!" Killua kicked your leg from under the table. Clearly not actually trying to harm you. You're sure he could if he wanted to.

You laughed, quickly drawing your leg away from his reach. Ignoring his annoyed actions in favor of talking ti Zeno more.

"Maybe you should torture him more. Teach him to, y'know, defend himse-"

You had to duck under a knife Killua had tossed at your head. Laughing as he glared at you.

"Do not listen to them." Killua huffed, crossing his arms as he sent one last glare your way.

"You just don't want to admit you're weak." You hummed, watching as he turned away from you.

"Oh, you wouldn't last a single torture session."

"Mmh, too late, already have." You laughed, despite having barely been tortured by Feitan, "An actual one, not one where my mommy and daddy are holding my hand."

"I will kill you." Killua glared, his nails sharpening into claws and digging into the table.

"Can't, then Illumi would go marry some bore." You looked down at the white haired boy's sharpened claws, a curious gleam in your eyes, "Am I gonna learn that?"

"Not before I kill you," Killua hissed, lunging off his chair and at you.

Your eyes widened as you fell back off your chair, rolling out of the way just before Killua could get to you.

Quickly hopping up to your feet, you ducked under another lunge attack. Almost a pounce. Like a cat.

Maybe you should look into that. Killua could be a cat without knowing it.

Laughing as you vaulted over a couch with no time to plan a landing, causing you to slam into the ground.

Ignoring the slight pain in your side, you rolled to the side in the knick of time. Killua's sharpened claws digging into the ground where your head had just been.

—

You turned your head towards the newcomer. A fat man in a pink shirt. Like bro was circular. What is he doing here.

He stared back at you. Your body covered in gashes and claw marks from your fight with Killua.

And by fight you mean your desperate attempts at avoiding his attacks. You did not fight back.

Before the man could even ask, Kikyo had already spoken, "Milluki, dear, this is Y/n. Illumi's new lover!"

If you were him, you'd stare in shock too. Illumi and lover being in the same sentence was near impossible.

After a moment, he just grabbed a plate of food and turned back towards the dark hall, "Whatever.. why would I care about some brat."

"Milluki!" Kikyo sprang up, her palms pressed against the table, "Respect our guest!"

"Sorry mama." He grumbled halfheartedly, barely even looking at you.

Secretly, you hoped he'd get tortured for it. Maybe burn off some calories.

Does torture burn calories, actually?

After Milky, or whatever his name was, left the room, Killua leaned over to whisper "That's Piggy. He's a hugeee suck up-"

"Killua." Silva stared at the white haired boy until he leaned back into his seat. Rolling his eyes at the interrupted gossip session.

"We'll talk later." Killua promised. As if he hadn't just been trying to kill you four minutes ago.

"We better," You agreed, in desperate need of Zoldyck drama. Your eyes briefly darting over to the other child at the table.

He looked around Killua's age-

"That'd be Kalluto." Illumi introduced, noticing your curious gaze.

Of course, he was probably trained to notice everything.

"Hm." You tilted your head to the side, watching the purple haired boy, "Illumi, switch spots with me. I want to sit next to them, not Killua."

"No."

You stood up grabbing your plate. Taking a step back to allow Illumi room to switch seats. Staring at him expectantly.

With a sigh, he reluctantly stood. And you took his spot next to Kalluto almost instantly.

"Hello," You greeted, leaning closer to Kalluto, "we should work together to sabotage Killua throughout every step of his life for the next ten years."

"Hey, I heard that!" Killua huffed, stabbing a piece of cake and shoving into his mouth as he stared at you.

"Why.. would we do that?" Kalluto blinked, glancing around the room at the adults, who all were blissfully ignoring the situation.

"Uh, because it's Killua?" You replied as if it were obvious, "Nobody likes him."

"I'm the favorite child, thank you very much." Killua corrected, continuing to butt into your conversation, "In fact I'm the next heir so-"

"No one cares," You interrupted, before turning back to Kalluto, "So? What do you say? Sabotage Killua and prevent him from achieving any good feat in life?"

"..sure?" He agreed unsurely, aware now that nobody would be stepping in to get him out of this.

"Excellent!" You clasped your hands together, "I look forward to working with you in the future."

"Scheme all you want, you're not going to stop me." Killua grumbled, as if he actually had any plans that could be stopped. All he did was train and complete missions.

"Illumi, can we switch spots again?" You asked, looking over at your future husband, if he had his way. If things go to plan, you'll be free before the papers are signed.

This time, he just sighed and obliged.

"Killua!" You exclaimed excitedly as you sat down next to him again. As if you weren't openly scheming against him just a moment ago, "I just had a great conversation with your brother! Unfortunately I cannot tell you the details, but-"

He tossed a balled up napkin in your face, which you didn't bother dodging, only laughing it off as he glared.

"I hate you, Y/n L/n."

"Y/n Zoldyck, actually." You corrected. Causing him to lunge at you once more.

Word Count: 1423

Fun Facts:

• Fluff to prepare you all for next chapter😋

• Guys if Trump wins I'm gonna stop writing fanfic I swear to god🙏

• Zoldyck family dinners are my favorite scenes ever. Also love that Killua and Y/n are developing a sibling bond already. Which, just so you know, is not a manipulation scheme by Y/n(for once)! They actually enjoy being around Killua:3