Don't question the name

Eat Food, drink Water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or I'll stop making characters ooc for the memes🤕

Elmo and friends group chat
0 online

Y/n is now online

Y/n
Guys guys guys

Y/n
And Hisoka

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Are you implying that Hisoka is not a
guy?

Y/n
Yes???

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Why?

Y/n
I mean.. Hisoka..?

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Fair point, carry on.

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
Wait no

Y/n
Now I'm alone

Y/n
Guys?

Y/n
Gals?

Y/n
Non-binary pals?

Y/n
Hisoka???

Y/n
Illumi??

Y/n
Chrolo

Y/n
Chrollo I even spelt ur name wrong??

Y/n
Hear ye, hear ye?

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬 is now online

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Yes, Y/n?

Y/n
I love it when u say my name like
that😍

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
It's.. over text?

Y/n
I ask you for less than there bare
minimum, and you never fail to surpass
my standards<3

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Y/n
Yes?? Duh

Buzz BuzzMotherfucker🐝🤬
I remembered your name, that's all it
takes?

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
It's even on the screen above all your
texts, you do realize that, right?

Y/n
I'm swooning /gen 😍😍

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
/gen?

Y/n
Awww, you're interested in what I
say🤭

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You are.. pathetic, really

Y/n
That's the second nicest thing anyone has
ever said to me🤕

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You enjoy being degraded??

Y/n
Y u asking bout my kinks

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
No

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Just no

Y/n
Anygays, I'm bored

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Anyways*

Y/n
Anygays*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Anyways*

Y/n
Anygays*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Anyways*

Y/n
Anygays*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Anyways*

Y/n
Anygays*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Anyways*

Y/n
I am on my thirty-minute lunch break
right now, this can go on for thirty minutes, Churro. If that even is your real name.

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
So close!! That is a food🥰

Y/n
Chro.llohiihvhhvuyv?

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
My phone was unrightfully taken,
my apologies for the concerning messages.

Y/n
Wgat was thiat

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
"That" is commonly referred to as Shalnark

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
I recommend ignoring it's existence

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
Aye aye captain🫡

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I also recommend ignoring his existence,
he is, simply put, mentally unwell

Y/n
Lmaogjguguvuyvv tell him I said hi

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
He is reading over my shoulder and saw
your message

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
He said hi back

Y/n
so, I know Chrollo has friend named
Shalnark, he likes steal phone, is near
Chrollo at moment, is mentally ill Gen-Zer

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
That was grammatically incorrect in many wsys, but it's the thought that counts

Y/n
...

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Go ahead

Y/n
Wsys???🤨

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Ways*

Y/n
Oh, how the mighty have fallen

Y/n
You are a peasant just like us, Churro

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
A mere commoner, I'm aware

Y/n
You no longer sit upon the throne you
once did

Y/n
You've flown too close to the sun

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
How long are you going to keep this
up, love?

Y/n
Iguggguugvhvhhjkbhuvuvu

Y/n
Don't do that while in monologuing injbhvhvhhcyhhvhvvh

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
My apologies, continue

Y/n
Thank you 🥰

Y/n
You now sweep the streets you used to
roam

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Th guyfygg- So closd!! That is a sobg
lyric💞💞

Y/n
Shut it, Shal. I bet Chrollo doesn't call you
love

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
...

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Kys

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I'm never letting you two next to each
other

Y/n
Chrollo!! Ur back💞🥰 I missed uuuuu

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I was away for less than a minute, calm yourself

Y/n
Am I no longer allowed to display my
love for you??😔

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You are being dramatic for my attention

Y/n
Problem??🤨

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
None at all

Whoresoka🥴 is now online

Y/n
Hisoka!!!!!!!😍🍝🦜

Whoresoka🥴
Darling, how nice to see you again ⭐️ ^-^💧

Y/n
Omfg is that an emoticon of urself

Whoresoka🥴
It is~

Y/n
Adorablr

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Hisoka never has been, and never will be, adorable

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Do not refer to him as such

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Ever.

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

Y/n
I love his little additinfs to our
conversations<33

Whoresoka🥴
Agreed💞

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Additions*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
And Hisoka, stop skipping meetings

Whoresoka🥴
No<3

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I'm sorry, I'm going to go leave my phone unlocked and unattended for a moment

Y/n
What??

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Hi💞💞💞 Shalnark, here🥰🥰

Y/n
Ohhhh😯

Y/n
Oh shit😨

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Hisoka you slutty, thin as a fucking
Fettuccini noodle, trust issues, daddy
issues, religious trauma, clown ass little
shit

Y/n
🫢

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You talk a lot of shit for someone incapable
of emotional connection

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Talk a lot of shit for someone who's pining after a woman who's so clearly not fucking interested

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Talk a lot of shit for someone who can't
admit they're a clown and not a fucking magician

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Talk a lot of shit for someone who stole
their entire aesthetic, and fighting style
from a fucking candy

Y/n
🤭

Whoresoka🥴
Mhmm~

Whoresoka🥴
Are you done with your gremlin
ranting?~

Whoresoka🥴
Are you satisfied now?⭐️ ( −︿−) 💧

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Oh we both know you've never fully
satisfied anyone

Whoresoka🥴
Many women, and men;) would disagree, dear~

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Call me dear one one more time and I'll
fucking show you h-

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
And I'm back

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I see Shalnark had fun

Y/n
I have never giggled so much at work
before

Y/n
Most enjoyable part of my day

Y/n
Live laugh love Shalnark

Whoresoka🥴
I believe I've been betrayed~

Y/n
Sorry Hiso😔 Shal doesn't like u so I
don't either 💔

Whoresoka🥴
So easily susceptible to peer pressure~

Whoresoka🥴
Such a disappointment~

Y/n
Funny, my father said the same thing
right after my birth💞

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
We can tell

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
Shut up, everyone in this chat clearly has
no dad😒

Y/n
Shal included, he's an honorary
member🥰🥰

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
I actually have a father and a mother

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
Wgat

Whoresoka🥴
Don't worry darling~ he still has daddy and mommy issues

Y/n
Ohhh😯

Y/n
Oh oksy thatst makes sense

Whoresoka🥴
Doesn't it?~

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Okay* That*

Y/n
Chrollie y

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Did you just call me Chrollie?

Y/n
...no..?

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
😐

Y/n
U.. U know how 2 yse emojis?

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Use* and yes, I do

Y/n
Prove it prettu boy

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
👂👁️🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷
🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷
🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷👁️👂

Y/n
JESUS FUCBIIMH CHRIST NEVER
EMOJI AGAJN

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Biblically accurate human face

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
WHAT SIRT OF HUNAN FACES ARE
YOU GUYS SEEING

Y/n
I FOMT THINK THEYRE VERY
FUCJING HUMAN

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
The design is very human😍 -Shal💞💞

Y/n
No it's fucking not😭

Whoresoka🥴
As fun as this is to watch, I'm starting to
feel ignored~

Y/n
That's cool

Y/n
Anyways

Whoresoka🥴
⭐️-_-💧

Y/n
My lunch break is almost over and there's
a slight issue:/

Whoresoka🥴
And what would that be, love?

Y/n
I forgot to eat😔

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
And that's a problem why???

Whoresoka🥴
That's unfortunate ♡

Y/n
This is why I like Hiso more

Y/n
He doesn't betray me like some people
do😒

Y/n
Not gonna name names, but Chrollo

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I don't think you know what "not gonna
name names" means

Y/n
It means I'm not going to name me and Hisoka's children after you?? Duh??

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
What

Y/n
What

Whoresoka🥴
Oh?~

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
He's infertile

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
🫢

Whoresoka🥴
⭐️😔💧

Y/n
Love how u go along with it

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
If you're going to keep joining in on the conversation, you might as well just
stay, Illumi

Whoresoka🥴
Maybe it's the truth, darling~

Y/n
But our little clown children😖😖

Whoresoka🥴
Yes, yes, such a pity ♡

Y/n
I was gonna give them the big clown
shoes, and teach them to use a unicycle
too🤧

Whoresoka🥴
How sweet.

Y/n
I can sense the passive-aggressiveness

Y/n
Ur gonna need to change that, I don't
want our kids to be around that kind of
endry🙄

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Energy*

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
And you and Hisoka will not be having
children

Y/n
Is it cuz he's inferior🤧🤧

Whoresoka🥴
...

Y/n
Infertile**

Y/n
I meant indetikt

Y/n
Infetiile*

Y/n
Ghhcifftfxrzrxnknknk

Y/n
Promise

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You were right the first time, actually

Y/n
I thought you said "right for the first time" there for a sec😭😭

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
That would also be accurate

Y/n
Ouchers🤕

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Cry.

Y/n
Can't, I'm at work😖😖

Y/n
Can't cry on the job (I have crippling social anxiety)

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Respectable.

Whoresoka🥴
Just cry in front of your customers, think
of the tips💞💞

Y/n
Honestly that's a great idea

Y/n
Customers coming in three minutes before close???

Y/n
Just crawl onto the counter and cry.
They'll leave 100% guarantee

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
From my experience with humans, no they won't

Y/n
Shut up I'm delusional.

Y/n
Wait Hisoka

Whoresoka🥴
Yes, my dear?

Y/n
Y u assume I work in customer service??

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Y/n, disrespectfully, you're the problem

Y/n
Wurh did I eaver do to u

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
Existed

Y/n
I'm sorry ill stop⭐️😔💧

Whoresoka🥴
...

Y/n
Unlike half the music on TikTok, it wasn't copyrighted

Y/n
Fair game

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
You care about copyright infringement?

Y/n
What's that??

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
...

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
One second, I'll let Shal deal with this

Y/n
Is Shal(He doesn't exist, and is just Chrollo's alter ego, which explains why Shal isn't in this chat, and just uses Chrollo's number) just ur partner(ur in a gay married with him) in crime(bullying me specifically) now(time has never, and will never exist. A mere figment of human imagination. A mass delusion to keep ourselves sane in this ever changing, unpredictable society)

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
Tax fraud👍

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
No respect copyright, hurt copyright
feelings🚫🚫🚫

Y/n
Thank you for the explanation

Y/n
Kys

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Gladly.

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
I'm attempting to find the nicest way to
call you all imbeciles

Y/n
Chrollo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U r
back!

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
An unreasonable amount of exclamation marks, but yes

Y/n
R u allergic to happiness

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
No

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
I am

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
I-

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
You?

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Is it that hard for you to stay in the chat?

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now online

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
I do not like being here

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸
I am, however, unfortunately compelled to make unnecessary commentary

🦅🦅The IRS🇺🇸🇺🇸 is now offline

Y/n
I think he's saying we have cooties

Whoresoka🥴
My screen time is becoming nonexistent<3

Y/n
Shut up, you r homosexual supporting cast

Y/n is now offline

Whoresoka🥴
Well that was certainly sudden~

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
It seems their break ended

Buzz Buzz Motherfucker🐝🤬
Imagine having a job, couldn't be me
-Shal💞

Word count: 2062

Fun Facts:

•Chrollo will use the ...? And stuff just cuz he's a reader, and understands the importance of displaying that emotion😍 Can't say the same for Illumi.

• Y/n: gput soo Ingul  hipphipnus onguir aurr
Chrollo: Hot* Single* Hippopotamuses* In* Your* Area*
He understands us, but at what cost😔

• Illumi🤝Bare minimum participation