Idek what to put here anymore

"How have you hid your Nen so well? From everything I sense, it seems you're a non-user."

Nen? Non user? Shit these have to be Hunter terms. Something you wouldn't know shit about, not being a hunter.

The examiner looked at you expectantly. Waiting patiently for an answer that you've already taken far too long to give.

"Ah, secret." You laughed weakly, knowing that answer alone wouldn't be strong enough to stay inconspicuous.

"Secret?" The examiner parroted questioningly.

Fuck.

Plan B—not that there ever was a Plan A—we're screwing Hisoka over.

"It's.. a work thing. Since there's a Phantom Troupe member lurking around, I'm not quite keen on sharing."

There's no way that works. There's no way th-

"There's a Spider here? Taking the exam?"

It's working?

You nodded, folding your hands together. A habit you need to stop before they catch on to your nervousness, "Hisoka Morow. Clown? 2 foot long bubble gum pink hair? He's a troupe member."

Hisoka's so gonna kill you after this.

Not that you really knew how secret the Troupe's identities were. I mean, they don't care if their killings are live broadcasted, so definitely not as secret as the Zoldycks.

All you knew was that the Troupe had a big reputation amongst Hunters. And any word of them would draw attention.

Which means less attention on you and your cover.

Hopefully.

"Meow?"

"Meow meow meow?"

"Meow?"

"Should've known it, that clown gives me the chills."

You'd have to say the examiner was either brave or stupid, for calling a Troupe member a clown when they could overhear.

Your guess is stupid. Seeing how he fell for your 'I work here' trick.

Also it's Hisoka. He never cares about being insulted or if someone's not polite.

It's not like he's going to cut off someone's arms for bumping into him.

Feitan might, though.

Attempting to get out of the conversation before they asked more questions, you quickly excused yourself.

"However, there are people I need to contact. If you'd pardon me."

"Oh!" The Hunter blinked. This was not a sarcastic 'Oh!', but I can no longer say 'Oh!' without it seeming sarcastic due to TikTok, "My apologies for bothering you, please go ahead."

—

"In the run from the Phantom Troupe?" A Hunter scoffed, leaning back in their seat. Multiple others crowding around them to watch the monitor, "They're starting to get power hungry with their lying."

"C'mon, theirs no way Mr. Sayird's actually believing this bullshit!"

"Yeah, the examiners need to get their shit together."

Tsezguerra, the first phase's examiner, made a point to stay silent. Hoping no one's attention would turn to him. Even if he hadn't been aware of the applications methods, he couldn't help but be ashamed of letting such person pass.

"On the contrary," Netero, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, shook his head. The herd of Hunters attention turning towards him, "Applicant 82, Y/n L/n, has been sited a few times in the past months approaching Blacklist Hunters about the Spiders."

"Huh?"

"What do you mean, Chairman?"

"Ah," Netero ran his Hand over his Beard. Both words capitalized because they're actually separate, sentient beings, "I believe being on the run from the Spiders.. is the only thing Y/n isn't lying about."

—

In Desperate Need of Bitches Groupchat
0 online

Chrollo Lucilfer
My dear, I can't help but notice you've seemingly gone off the grid. And your
phone is unable to be tracked.

Chrollo Lucilfer
Is there something I'm not being told?
Sent two days ago

Runaway is now online

Runaway
why you tracking my phone, Chrollie?

Chrollo Lucilfer is now online

Chrollo Lucilfer
Where are you, Y/n.

Runaway
There'd actually be a question mark
there, because you're asking a
question‼️‼️💯❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🔥

2 people are now online

Better Be Dead
Oh, someone's getting bold ♡

Illumi Zoldyck
Good for them.

Illumi Zoldyck
Stay safe from Chrollo, Y/n.

Illumi Zoldyck is now offline

Chrollo Lucilfer
I'm demanding an answer, actually.

Runaway
If I need to answer then it's a question,
hope this helps🙏🤗

Shalnark Ryuseih has been added to the chat

Runaway
See how it doesn't say who added him??
Not cutesy, not demure

Runaway
See how his name already was in my
contacts, instead of "unknown number"??

Runaway
Not very mindful. Not demure.

Shalnark Ryuseih
Why can't I track your phone, when did
you download eighty two different forms
of protection🔥🤞‼️💯❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Runaway
It was school research project‼️‼️💯❤️‍🔥

Shalnark Ryuseih
I know where you live, hope this
helps🤞🔥🤗‼️💯❤️‍🔥

Runaway
I'm suing you, hope this helps🥰🥰☺️😊

Shalnark Ryuseih
Where are you!!❤️‍🔥🥰🤞💯

Runaway
Senior skip day pookie‼️🥰❤️‍🔥😻

Shalnark Ryuseih
If you don't answer great harm may
come to you‼️🥰🥰🔥☺️😻❤️‍🔥💯

Better Be Dead
Lovely how you both still communicate
like normal, despite the topic ♡

Chrollo Lucilfer
Please, do not be with Hisoka right now.
For your own safety

Runaway
From you or from him??❤️‍🔥🤞‼️🤗

Shalnark Ryuseih has added 4 people to the chat
Shalnark Ryuseih has changed 4 people's names

#1 Hisoka Hater
I wasn't even one of the people who asked
to be here:/

Nobunaga
Shut it, I want to figure out who's Chrollo's
new bitch is

Feitan
me agree, boss's so called love interest is.. interesting

Chrollo Lucilfer
Both, Y/n. Shalnark please refrain from
adding more people without permission

Pakunoda
We'll refrain to just watching, boss.

Nobunaga
Oh come on what's the point of-

Shalnark Ryuseih has muted Nobunaga for fifteen minutes

Runaway
Luckily for u I'm not anywhere near
him!!

Chrollo Lucilfer
Good. Now if you'd so kindly enlighten
me as to where exactly you are

Runaway
Getting a doctors note!!🔥❤️‍🔥‼️😻

Shalnark Ryuseih
Please make this easier on everyone and
share your location!❤️‍🔥🔥😻🥰

Runaway
Did you know you could save 50% on
car insurance with Geico🥰🤗☺️

Chrollo Lucilfer
I steal my cars, where are you

Runaway
Selling clown paintings on Etsy🤞

Runaway
I'll share my location if u buy 2😻

Shalnark Ryuseih
Tell us where you are and we won't have
to break your arms🤗💯☺️‼️🥰🔥

Runaway
You already did!! And eight fingers!!🥰😻‼️‼️🔥

Runaway
Gonna go destroy my phone now!! Hope
this helped!

Runaway has left the chat

Shalnark Ryuseih
..

Feitan
thought dead?

Chrollo Lucilfer
Is there something I am missing here?

Shalnark Ryuseih
Long story short we lightly tortured your
lover..?

Chrollo Lucilfer
Shalnark.

Shalnark is now offline

Better Be Dead
Seems someone's in trouble💞

Chrollo Lucilfer is now offline

#1 Hisoka Hater
Oh shut it, Morow.

#1 Hisoka Hater
Care to share your whereabouts? Since
they were more important than the Troupe, clearly

Better Be Dead
Ah, I had an exam I forgot I had to to
take💞

Better Be Dead
A simple mistake, my deepest apologies ♡

#1 Hisoka Hater
Oh cut the bullshit.

Better Be Dead
Hm~

Better Be Dead is now offline

—

Leaving the chat, you immediately slammed your phone against a particularly sharp gemstone. Barely noticing as it pierced through the phone, and dug into your palm.

You were screwed if they found you.

And worse, Hisoka was here. Which meant the Troupe might be as well.

Glancing down at your bleeding hand, you took a deep breath. Running your other hand over your face, exhausted.

You had been almost non stop predicting and planning out defenses to the Troupe's every move. And the separate threat of the Zoldycks was in the air as well. Not that you could do anything for that.

Worse, the more people that failed, the less people for Hisoka to notice. Meaning more attention on yourself.

But failing the exam wasn't an option either.

"Your hand's blee-"

"I'll rip your neck open if you even think about finishing that sentence."

Word Count: 1479

Fun Facts:

• Y/n saying "it's not like Hiso would cut off your arms for bumping into him" was both a funny reference to canon, and shows how being in the chat where they all act like decent human beings, and are relatively fun to be around makes my Y/n misjudge their actual personalities

• Continuation of the last fun fact, Y/n understands they're in danger. But it's easy to over look it as a mere "I'd just be stuck with them" instead of "They'd kidnap me and hold me hostage until they find me boring and kill me."

• Writing this I felt like I was making the Hunters seem too clueless. But then I remembered that the majority of Hunters are weak and dumb, and Hisoka doesn't like them, so idrc

—

!!!bonus time!!!

let's play 2 truths and a lie😻💯❤️‍🔥
I'm now a trans man named Carter,
I go to work for eleven hours a day on days I work three hour shifts to keep my enemies(parents) unaware of my schedule,
and I have a queen sized bed but only use half of it because my cats need the other half