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❝ letter six ❞

19th March 1944

Dear Steve,
                       I hope the war is treating you well. I have still yet to hear from you and although that worries me immensely, Connie promised that she would protect you and I believe her. James always trusted her so I have no reason to doubt her intentions.

I have been hearing about the battles and how the tide seems to be turning in our favor which means that you may be home sooner than I thought. I really hope I can see you soon. I miss you dearly.

There are some issues at home and I had to go and see the doctor a few days ago. There is no official diagnosis but I am incredibly exhausted at the moment. I think it might be the stress of you being so far away and my father's cruelties but I know that it will pass. My illnesses have always passed. I was always the one to nurse you back to health when your mother was busy. I know I will deal with this and will be fine just like I have been every other time. So do not worry.

I do have plenty of news from Brooklyn. Dolores sent me a letter and James will hate to hear this but she is having a baby with her husband. He was discharged briefly a few months ago and it turns out that during that time, they tried for a baby. I will try and make the trip back to Brooklyn to congratulate her but my aunt is worried about me traveling. She thinks that I am too weak for it.

Either way, Dolores said that her husband is coming home again for a month or so which I think is rather exciting. I wish I could see you again.

Also, Connie sent me a letter from London a few weeks ago too. It was short but she promised that you were all safe. I believe her but I wish I could see you again or just hear from you. Whether that is by phone or by letter, I want some way of knowing that you are okay. And if you were in London, I don't understand why you couldn't have called me. Maybe your mission is too secretive and you weren't in London for long but I long to hear from you.

I am desperate for it.

I miss your face and your voice and your smile. They would light up my day and everything has felt so incredibly gloomy without you around. I know that you are doing very important things but that does not change the fact that I miss you dearly.

But I know that when you return home, it will be perfect. We can move back to Brooklyn and finally have that Church ceremony we always wished for. I have seen so many dresses that I'm sure would be perfect for the day and my aunt has even spoken to me about a possible wedding in the future and that she would love to host us for a honeymoon if we cannot make it anywhere else. I think that would be a perfect getaway.

Although she has her house where I am staying, further out on her property there is a little cottage which I know would be perfect for us. I just hope that you will live to see it.

Every week there are more and more men that are dead and although I know you and James and Connie are smart and talented, wars take people without consequence or a care for whether they are strong or smart or a beautiful person.

War does not discriminate and I never want you to fall prey to that. You are my hope, my love and I know that these words are nothing but you are my lifeline. These letters are the only thing that connect us over the vast ocean and they are my final piece. My declarations of love. My aunt thinks I am silly but she does not know what it is like to be so foolishly in love like this.

Because that is what I am. So foolishly in love with you and if never seeing you or sending you a letter again would end this war tomorrow, I don't know if I could do it. I am so selfishly devoted to you and it is the selfish devotion that will be my undoing.

My father has already said that I am foolish and pathetic for being so in love with a man who is not here. He wants me to marry Heath who is far from brave and wonderful like you. He avoids war like a coward and his father pays off the conscriptors so he can avoid duty. He is nothing like you and although he is wealthy, your bravery and loyalty is worth more to me than his piles of money ever will.

So, I will let my father call me foolish because he does not understand me and he does not wish to. He sees me as his property - which I suppose I am - but I do not want to be. I am a woman and I chose to love for myself, not for him or any other foolish societal expectation.

While the rest of my friends marry the rich men who refuse to fight, I will wait and I will love you until I see your face again. I don't care how you come back to me. You could be battered and bruised and injured and forever changed but I will love you despite it all. I am hopelessly devoted to you, my darling.

With all the love I hold,
Josie