The current continues to pull the boat forward but the sky has clouded over. The boy looks around to see the waves are growing larger and that even darker clouds are forming up ahead. Lightning flashes across the sky making the boy flinch and cower in the small boat. He is scared of the storm ahead but has no way to avoid it. The boy closes his eyes as rain begins to fall.

***

I headed to school at my usual time. Koro texted me last night saying she was still sick. I didn't remember giving her my phone number, but figured Ryou gave it to her at some point. Since Koro wasn't going to be in school, I walked past the usual spot where we meet up and didn't stop until I got to Ryou's meeting point. She was always late so I wasn't surprised that she wasn't there yet.

The time that Ryou usually shows up came and went. I looked up the street towards her house as though I could see all the way there. Since it was up a hill, I could only see the first few houses. Maybe she was up earlier than usual and went on without me. I didn't think it was likely, but the longer the idea was in my head the more I was convinced it was true. A few minutes later, I started walking again.

The walk to school somehow felt lonelier than it had ever been. My head was filled with negative thoughts the entire trip making me doubt Ryou and Koro were ever friends with me. Maybe they got bored of me. It's not like I am adding much to the group. She could have gotten up early as a way to tell me without telling me. Does that mean Koro isn't my friend anymore either? Is that why she texted me this morning instead of Ryou? Why else would she tell me directly? She has never texted me before.

The downward spiral continued in my mind all morning. I barely even noticed the other students around me and they didn't pay me any attention as usual. My eyes looked forward but were unfocused on the chalkboard. I mindlessly drifted from class to class on autopilot, remaining stuck in my head even as the bell rang for lunch.

It was raining again when the time came for lunch. I ended up going to the garden anyway. When the rain hit my face I finally became aware of my surroundings. Of course, Ryou wasn't in the garden, either. I pulled out my phone and brought up my texts with Ryou. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute as I struggled to come up with anything to say to her. I was never one to bother people and she could always text me first. If Ryou didn't want me around, I wasn't going to confront her about it.

I found a bench under an awning and sat down to eat my lunch. My phone is still in my hand, but I put it away once I was seated. I stared out into the rain as I half-heartedly ate my sandwich and tried not to think about anything. It didn't take long for the negative thoughts to invade my mind again. I continued eating without really tasting any of the food as I was lost in my own thoughts and insecurities. As I began to pack up and head back to class, my phone made a sound alerting me to a new text message from Ryou. I was happy to see she had messaged me until I read it.

"Will be busy after school again today, sorry."

"Ok cool"

I looked at my response before sending it. I could ask her what's going on. Or where she is for lunch. Does this mean we are still friends? Maybe bringing it up is a bad idea? I stared at the screen for several more seconds before sending the message as originally written. I didn't feel it was worth risking anything to follow up with such questions. I put the phone back in my pocket and returned to class.

By the time school ended, the rain had stopped but the sky was still overcast. I barely noticed as I walked home alone again. I didn't even try to wait for Ryou this time. It's not that I didn't want to see her, but I was in a bad mood. I definitely wasn't in a social mood. As I came to my street, I stopped and looked towards home. I had zero motivation to go that way. I turned back towards the way I was heading and continued walking.

After several minutes, I remembered Koro lived down this way. I had never been to her house but figured maybe I would somehow recognize it. Probably not, but she could notice me out her window. Or maybe happen to be outside. That seems even less likely since she has been sick. I slowly trudged forward looking at each house I passed. Nothing stuck out to me in any meaningful way. Eventually I stopped checking and just kept walking down the road.

I didn't know how long I had been walking or how far I had gone, but a park caught my eye, making me stop and stare at it. The park was unfamiliar but seemed inviting despite everything likely being wet. No one was currently around, probably due to the threat of more rain. I walked into the small park and wandered around the playground for a few minutes before stopping at the swings. I couldn't remember the last time I had even sat on a swing at a playground.

Despite the seat being wet from the earlier rain, I sat down and kicked off the ground with my legs. I let the swing move forward before pulling my legs in on the backswing. Knowing how to swing is like riding a bike. I pumped my legs as fast as I could to make the swing accelerate and take me increasingly higher. My frustrations with all that had happened fueled my movements until the swing was at its limits. I maintained the height for a while as I enjoyed the feeling of the swing falling over and over.

The view from the apex of the swing gave me a new perspective on the neighborhood. I could see over some of the houses that are only a single story to the next block over. Glancing behind me, I noticed the ground drops further into the park down a hill and ended at a line of trees that mark the edge of forested land. I stopped pumping my legs and let the swing slow a little before I leapt off at the apex and landed several feet away.

I returned to the swing but faced the forest this time. I kicked off the ground as before and it didn't take long to reach the same height as last time. The view was much more green this time with the forest taking up most of my vision. I continued burning energy to keep the swing as high as possible. After several minutes, my legs began to tire and I stopped pumping. The swing immediately slowed down but before it dropped more than a couple feet, I leapt off the top again. I landed just past the edge of the hill and the uneven surface made me stumble to my knees before catching myself with my hands.

I stood up and wiped the grass and bits of mud off my hands onto a pant leg. I looked back at the swing as it continued its rapid deceleration. Taking a moment to contemplate a third time on the swing, I decided against it since my legs were already tired and walked past the swings toward the street. I wandered back home slightly exhausted but still frustrated.

***

The violent waves toss the rowboat around like a toy in a bathtub. The boy is clinging to the side of the boat and trying not to fall out. Rain is coming down and slowly filling the little boat adding to what the waves have already splashed inside. Another wave takes the boat up and lightning flashes across the sky allowing the boy to see in the near darkness. In all directions, all he can see are enormous waves of murky water. Just as the boat starts to fall down the back side of the wave, the boy tightens his grip as his stomach churns and threatens to make him relive his last meal. Another lightning strike flashes across the sky and the boy closes his eyes waiting for it all to end.

***

Jumping out of bed seconds before my alarm went off, I preempted the app on my phone and got dressed. I was determined to get out of the house as early as possible to beat Aki to our meeting spot. He had left without me the day before and I was going to make sure it never happened again. At least, that was the plan. I was never great with time management. As insurance, I had changed my alarm to get up 15 minutes earlier than usual. Once I finished getting dressed, I checked my phone to see I was doing good so far. As long as I didn't get distracted, I was pretty sure I could beat Aki to our spot.

Fortunately, I made it before Aki, but only by like 40 seconds. He didn't say a word to me and kept walking past me. Would he have waited for me if I wasn't already here? I sped up a little to catch up to Aki and walk next to him. "Sorry I wasn't at lunch yesterday. I ended up helping another student with their homework." Aki kept looking straight ahead. He seemed even more down than usual. I wasn't sure if he had heard me.

"It's ok." Aki has yet to even look at me but I was glad he finally responded. We continued walking in silence for a couple minutes.

I decided I needed to say something, anything, to try to get him to talk to me. "Koro is still sick but feeling better and says she will probably be going back to school tomorrow."

"Yeah, she texted me the same thing this morning." Aki still wasn't looking at me but I was just happy he was conversing.

The conversation didn't really get much farther. I tried to continue with small talk but Aki remained distant and gave only short and succinct answers. The walk to school became silent once again and continued up until we parted ways to head to our respective desks, which sat on opposite sides of the classroom. I really need to find a way to reach him. I know something is bothering him but guessing won't get me anywhere.

I spent all morning thinking about how to get Aki to open up to me. I only half paid attention in class and didn't even notice it had started raining again until after the lunch bell rang. It would have been easier to talk if we could have been alone in the garden. He is much more shy when other kids are around.

Aki and I sat together for lunch but as I suspected he sat silently while he ate his lunch. Most of lunch went without a single word spoken between us. I somehow managed to steel my resolve near the end to ask him about something. "I saw you laying in the park in the rain the other day. What were you doing?"

The question caught Aki off guard as he suddenly froze mid bite and his eyes went wide. Once he recovered a little, he put his food down to answer. "I wanted to see things from a new perspective. You never look up when it's raining. So, I–"

Aki was interrupted by the bell announcing the end of lunch. He didn't finish whatever it was he was going to say and packed up his lunch. Without so much as a goodbye, Aki walked to class leaving me slightly stunned with food still in my hand.

***

I was so glad the bell went off when it did. I wasn't sure what I was going to say but it probably would have been weird. She may bring it up again, though. I should probably think of something to say. Even though I don't really know what I was doing. And would she have even understood my answer? What would she think of me then? I had no good, or at least passable, answers to my internal questions and tried not to think about it too hard as I sat in my seat in the next class.