"If I tell you something, promise you won't tell anyone else?"

        Jun flashes me a funny look. "Obviously."

        I take a look around the cabin and confirm everyone else is asleep.

        Jun waits.

        "I kissed Brendon."

        His eyes go wide before a smile spreads across his face like he's been told he won a new car. "Really?"

        "No, I was just making it up for laughs."

        He stares.

        "Yes, really," I sigh.

        "When?"

        "When he took me to that lookout during the Windsor after party."

        Jun's eyes bug out. "You waited this long to tell me?"

        "Sorry, I've been a little busy freaking out. I'll pay for expedited shipping next time."

        "Wow," he says. "Took you long enough."

        I slap his chest. "Not helping."

        "I know," Jun replies quickly, rubbing his chest. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to say that. I know you've been getting closer but I figured you'd hint at something before that happened. Who initiated it?"

        I bite my lip. "I don't know. Him? Maybe? I've thought about it too much that it's kind of all blurred together."

        Jun hums.

        "You're thinking something."

        "Obviously." When he catches my glare, he clicks his tongue. "You're not dropping this on me and expecting me to not have thoughts."

        After debating whether I want to hear any of them, the realization dawns on me that I wouldn't mention the kiss in the first place if his opinion is unwanted.

        "I also kissed Moxie the other night too."

        "Come again?"

        "You heard me."

        "You two were flirty but I didn't expect it to go anywhere."

The real message between the lines: I didn't expect it to go anywhere because you've been Brendon's for a lot longer than you want to admit.

        "It didn't go anywhere. It was just...a moment. But I think we both knew where it was going. Or, rather, not going."

        "As long as things are good between you two," he replies cautiously.

         I nod. "They are."

        "How are you feeling?"

        "Good." I pause. "Confused. I don't know. Nothing seems like a right way to describe how I'm feeling."

        "I don't think there's a right or wrong way." He angles his head, catching my eye. "As long as you don't feel bad, I say that's a good start."

        Playing with a loose thread of my cardigan is as stress-relieving as a fidget spinner. "I don't think anything to do with Brendon can be bad."

        Silence bounces off of us for a few beats before Jun shifts. He places his fingers against the bottom of my chin and forces me to look at him.

        "See, this thing?" Jun waves his finger around, pointing at the whimsical hangover from a long-awaited kiss. "All of this means something. Something good." His words are light and delicate in a way they can only sound coming from him. "Maybe it's time you admit you like him."

        The truth is weaved into his words in a way even I can't ignore. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

        "So why do you look like you're being made to walk the plank?"

        It's important to understand none of this internal conflict has anything to do with Brendon. He's pure and bright and the kind of supportive I need. Jetting around the globe to watch him race across my vision in a flash of blurred lines and burning rubber is something I look forward to. I picture myself at countless races in the future cheering him on, hopefully toward his goal of winning a championship.

        "You're going to think it's silly."

        "Let me be the judge of that."

        "I do like him. A lot. But relationships are hard, especially with our careers, and I don't want to commit to something I can't be sure I'll be able to even do." I place my head in my hands. "Things are going to get busier with the band and I would hate to try something and it not work out."

        "What did Bash say?"

        "Nothing. Except that we have time."

        "It sounds like he understands. I don't think Brendon is the type of guy that would force you into something you're not sure you're ready for yet."

        "Does it make me a bad person for leading him on?"

        His brows furrow together in frustration. "You're not a bad person because you're not ready to jump into a relationship. Just liking someone isn't enough of a foundation for something stable, and Bash knows that. He's spent however many years constantly on the road and knows the toll it takes on an individual, let alone someone in a relationship. And even if Bash is ready for something—not that I'm saying he is, I don't know—doesn't mean you also have to be."

        My brain does this silly thing where it goes into overdrive over this F1 driver weaseling his way into a part of my heart I wasn't sure even exists anymore. Overthinking and over-feeling every spark trampling through my thoughts. Turning something that should be simple into the most complex, unsolvable equation known to man.

        Jun smoothes out the frustrated lines on my forehead. "Don't overthink it. Things will happen when they're meant to."

        "I'm genuinely going to be a toad the next time I see him," I admit. "How am I supposed to pretend like we're just friends."

        "Obviously you don't," Jun deadpans. "Didn't you hang out with him the next day? While Moxie was there?"

        "Yes, but we were still in Monaco. Next time we won't have that to carry us."

        "I think you'll figure it out when the time comes."

        Deciding there are too many unexplainable nuances, I resign to attempt a nap once again, though I don't doubt this go at it will render useless. Maybe risking a sore stomach is worth a glass of wine (or two).

        Before I slide my headphones on, Jun taps his hand against the armrest separating us.

       "I have something to tell you, too."

        "Okay."

        Jun is the kind of person that makes any room feel as vast and wondrous as standing on an open shore. When he's caving in on himself, it's equally felt.

        It shouldn't be surprising to hear when he confesses what happened at Maver's house the few nights he stayed over there with Lauren.

        Who knew telling him I kissed Brendon was going to lead to him admitting he and Lauren have kissed? Not me.

        Part of me wants to jump with joy but as far as I'm aware, Lauren and Maver are still together, which makes this very messy. Even if I don't have a high opinion of Maver , I rather her end it before starting anything with Jun. It isn't fair to either party, least of all her, to act otherwise.

        "Wow."

        Though my words echo his from earlier, they ring less enthusiastic, and Jun takes note of the difference.

        "Sorry, I also wasn't expecting that." I hesitate a beat, picking apart the questions he asked me. "So, who initiated it?"

        He winces at the familiar line. "She kind of leaned in first and then...well..."

       "Gotcha."

        For the next five minutes, Jun runs through every equally chaotic thought on permanent rotation in his head, but much more delicately than I'm able to explain. From the awkward stillness of entering the house on the first day, to the kiss that went on longer than it should have, and then to the next morning when Lauren pretended like it never happened.

        Part of me wants to not care. It's not like it matters to me if Maver's heart gets broken, as cruel as that sounds. It's impressive to believe he has one in the first place. But threatening him over hurting her when she's going behind his back like this, in his home no less, makes it difficult to hold my convictions.

        "Jun," I stop him at some point.

        He pauses, staring at me. "What?"

        I take a deep breath. "You need to talk to her. A real talk. Because this is going too far now."

        "Too far."

        "I'm serious. She can't kiss you when she's still with him and act like that. It's not fair."

        "She's confused."

        It takes a lot of effort on my part not to grab him by the ears and scream. My best friend knows better than this. If the roles were reversed, it wouldn't be a question in his eyes. Seeing the situation through love-tinted glasses hinders the logic of his perception.

        "Being confused doesn't give her the right to pull you around like that."

Every time he stares at me, all puppy eyes and misguided thoughts, it upsets me more.

        There's a deliberate effort on his part to not cast her in a bad light. And, well, it's Lauren. Getting mad at her is difficult, and staying mad is even harder. But there's only so far a justification can go, and I'm bound to take sides.

        "You wouldn't understand—" he begins to say.

        "That's dismissive as hell."

        "Didn't you tell me you kissed two people this weekend?"

        Irritation bubbles inside of me. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

        "Just seems unfair you're judging her so harshly when you're more or less doing the same thing."

        "I'm not judging her harshly. Asking her to make things right is reasonable. And I'm not in a committed relationship so whether I kiss two people or twenty doesn't matter, especially because I told Brendon about Moxie and me."

        His shoulders hunch over as he slouches into his seat. It's not like he can walk off into another room, so he has to settle for using whatever means necessary to hide.

        "I can't push her to do something she isn't ready for."

        "That's fine if she's not ready to break up with him. But that means she isn't ready to be with you. And that means defining reasonable boundaries to safeguard your peace."

        He might not want to hear this, but it's important, and the longer he goes without laying down these ground rules, the further down the rabbit hole he'll fall. Seeing the wreckage of a Lauren-Maver-Jun implosion isn't something any of us are looking forward to.

        When I reach my hand over the armrest and attempt to hold his, he pulls away as if he's just trying to adjust his seat to lie down, but we know each other to pretend like we can't see through these small actions.

        "You told me about it, remember?"

        "I expected a little more support."

        "How am I not being supportive? Because I'm not saying yeah, keep making out with someone in a relationship?"

         He doesn't respond.

        "Fine," I grunt, turning away from him. "Sulk if you want. It's not going to save you when you're the one that gets your heart broken."

          Jun opens his mouth but stops himself. Although it would be preferable to be able to gush over this news, his situation is different, and I'm not going to be labeled as the bad guy for pointing out the faults in it.

        When the flight attendant walks by, I wave them down.

        "Could I get a glass of wine, please? A big one. Thank you."

        Jun rolls his eyes.