Talking about myself is one thing. Having my words interpreted and repackaged for public consumption is terrifying, even when I've heard good things about the woman sitting in front of me.

Her eyes are sharp, but not at much as the wit that snakes out through the stream of words trailing behind her pen. Her attire is pristine and clean, a direct contrast to our surroundings. Even her hair is slicked back into a tight ponytail that gives even me a headache just from looking at it. She's somehow exactly how I imagined but also a complete enigma.

They've done their best to place us in a comfortable setting for our interviews. Rami, our unofficial leader of the group, has already taken his turn.

"Did you want some apple juice?" the journalist asks after sitting with a notebook in her lap. It looks more like Rami's than mine. "I heard it's your favorite."

My wrist begins to itch and my breath catches in my throat, but I force myself to inhale and exhale. Once and then once more and then once more until it returns to a steady rhythm.

"You have nothing to be nervous about," she says.

"Thank you but it's easier said than done."

"True," she concedes. "This piece will work best if everything is honest, and I find people give more of that when they feel at ease."

Answering truthfully, I reply, "I think this is the best state you'll get from me. It's nothing personal. I just....don't enjoy talking about myself."

"That's understandable." She nods. "I might spend most of my life telling other people's stories but I'd be a blubbering mess if someone tried to tell mine."

It's a small confession meant to help ease my worry, and admittedly it does somewhat. Not enough to stop the unnoticeable shaking, but enough that I feel a little more comfortable about opening up.

"So," the journalist flips her pen over in her hand, scooting her notebook out of view. "I've been to Hawaii a few times. Must have been quite a change moving to Los Angeles."

I shrug my shoulders. "They move at different speeds. That was the first thing I noticed. Life is manufactured in LA. Life is just a thing that happens in Hawaii."

"Do you have a preference?"

"Yes." I pause. "But I was born with it."

She smiles and writes something down. Short and simple; her thoughts are organized in bullet points. "What are some other things you miss about being in Hawaii?"

"I think an easier question would be what do I not miss about Hawaii," I laugh.

"Has everyone adjusted well to the move?"

"You'd probably have to ask everyone else what they think but, just my observation, we have. I think having a group of friends to rely on helps with the adjustment. I wouldn't have adapted as well if I came here on my own."

The journalist takes a few brief notes. "And how does that translate to working together?"

Not quite sure how much I'm willing to divulge about the inner workings of our group, I shrug. "There's no such thing as a perfect group, but we listen to each other, trust each other, want each other to grow and be the best we can be. There are a lot of people I love with whom I would never want to work with. But I have no reservation about these people. They're everything I can ask for in a team."

"It sounds like you've all got your heads screwed on right. Must make your parents proud."

I find it amusing she knows apple juice is my favorite drink but not that I don't have parents to make proud anymore.

"Rami's family calls us all the time," I laugh. "They're always making sure we're doing okay. We all call his mom mama. And his sister sends us care packages."

    Her smile grows. "That's sweet."

We talk more about the dynamics of our band and I do my best to answer while not speaking for anyone else. Even though we're close enough that I can imagine what everyone else would say, I know we have our own ways of expressing how we feel, and I never want to step on anyone's toes by not doing them justice.

Before I know it, twenty minutes have passed and we haven't even started talking about the music.

"So, why Nuclear Fusion? What does the album mean to you?"

When the band first started discussing what the artistic theme of our debut album would be, it was clear we all wanted to make a statement.

I wanted the world to know we were stars meant to shine, and all of the energy it took for us to accomplish this is bottled up in the album. Seeing it go on to have enough success that our label was willing to put out a deluxe edition is proof that we accomplished our goal, and we're only going is up.

I put it a little more delicately when I answer the journalist's question. The public likes to view confident women who own their success as too big-headed for their own good. Not that I feel all that confident most of the time, but existing in the stratosphere of show business has made me realize how fickle it can be to navigate.

"And what do you hope to accomplish with your music and all of its success? What do you want your fans to take away from your songs and journey in the music industry?"

I have to think about it for a second, but it comes to me in steady flashes like the beacon of a lighthouse along the shore, me being the lonely ship floating along the water.

"I think, at the end of the day, I can repeat what our own lyrics mean to us a hundred times over, but it won't mean anything. I want anyone who listens to our music to be able to interpret it in whatever way connects with them. Because, while I might write music for myself, I release music for it to be enjoyed. And if one thing works for them, I love that. But what I want people to see when they watch us as people is that it doesn't matter where you come from, what you think of yourself, or what you think others think of you. We're all worthy of telling our stories and pursuing any dreams we aspire to turn into reality. Speaking for myself, I want to be the kind of wahine that, whether they are in Hawai'i or elsewhere in the world, my fellow kānaka maoli can be proud of. To be the role model I wish I had growing up."

...

Once we're back at the house, I feel more relaxed. Spending an entire day around a bunch of people while having to talk about myself is as exhausting as performing a show, so when I drop onto the couch and throw my legs over the back of the sofa, my hand dangling over the side like a rag doll tossed aside, none of my best friends bat an eyelash.

"Does anyone want to watch a movie? I would like to not talk for the next three hours, minimum."

Rami side-eyes me. "You do remember we have to do this again tomorrow, right?"

"Even more of a reason for me to not talk to anyone right now."

"We can finally cross off The Wolf of Wallstreet," Jun suggests. "I think it's actually three hours long."

I clap my hands together. "Perfect! Go get popcorn first since you ate all of it the other day."

He stares at me. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." I steal the remote from his hands. "I told you to get more the other day and you didn't. So now you have to go right now."

"We just got back home. I'm not leaving to get popcorn."

From her spot on one of the chairs, Lauren says, "I could actually go for some popcorn right now."

I point at her. "See? Popcorn. Get to it."

"You suck."

"Oh wow, I'm so wounded."

While Jun leaves to make good on his obligations, the three of us in the living room put a random rerun on as we wait for him. About five minutes in, my phone lights up with a notification—a DM from Everleigh.

I sent her a message a couple of hours ago when we were waiting to wrap up for the day. Even in the short amount of time it's been since we added each other on Instagram, Jun and I have managed to watch a few of the movies she's posted about. Horror movies, mostly, but a couple of other things here and there.

[ STEVIE ]

this is prob blasphemy to ask but what's your fav scary movie

EVERLEIGH:

scream 2.

were you actually asking or did you just watch scream?

either way, well played.

also, hiya!

[ STEVIE ]

hi!

jun and i have been slowly going through all of the movies you've posted about

still need to watch the 2nd

but i'm still recovering from having baby neve and skeet on my screen

EVERLEIGH:

a whole mood, they had no business being so distracting <3

Dewey has my whole heart 😍😍😍

did Jun enjoy?

[ STEVIE ]

he was too busy also staring at neve and skeet but he enjoyed

ate all of my popcorn too

EVERLEIGH:

rude.

hope he's making you more.

popcorn is a must.

[ STEVIE ]

i actually just sent him out to get some

....hope i'm not bothering at like 4 in the morning or something....

EVERLEIGH:

LOL, no don't worry. just landed in phoenix.

probably going to watch some other horror movie at the hotel. will let you know if it's good, haha.

are you just hanging out or did you have work today?

[ STEVIE ]

hopefully not werewolf in the catacombs

we had an interview for this magazine today

not to be so ~woe is me~ but talking about myself is the actual worst

EVERLEIGH:

if i ever watch that it's because i've been clockwork oranged and my eyeballs are being peeled open.

that sounds awful, i'm sorry. were there at least any interesting questions? :(

you don't have to tell me if it's an NDA thing, it's cool, i'm being nosey, lol.

[ STEVIE ]

oh i love breaking nda's!!

honestly nothing....terrible, i guess. but it's kind of like...why would anyone find this remotely interesting lol

i'm not used to all this stuff yet tbh.

but i guess there's worse things to complain about lol

EVERLEIGH:

it sounds overwhelming, tbh. if that helps validate. you guys give good interviews but the amount there are blow my mind. seems like you're always being forced to talk about something.

you guys need breaks, haha.

[ STEVIE ]

*blushes* thank u. i feel like i'm broken record sometimes

kinda wish i could be like "pls direct yourselves to the last interview we did thanks"

i would say we prob won't have any *real* breaks until after the album drops but then we have to do promo & stuff so

first world problems

EVERLEIGH:

you're allowed to be weirded out by the way your life plays out. first world problems or not. <3

shame it feels so overwhelming, i'm sorry. :(

will send you daily movie recs when promo is happening. <3

[ STEVIE ]

pls do jun and i need something to do when we're bored out of our mind

my letterboxd has never been so active

(also thank you, you're a gem)

EVERLEIGH:

us & it follows are good!

maybe don't watch it follows with someone else.

she's a horny one.

hornier than the average horror movie.

should've been the tagline 😂

(any time <3)

[ STEVIE ]

ooh yes, us has been on my watchlist foreverrr

this is embarrassing to say

and we've never admitted this to anyone before but

jun and i were scrolling one day and found this movie called zombie strippers????

-100/10 do not recommend

EVERLEIGH:

... i have unfortunately seen this one.

it's almost worse than the werewolf in the catacombs 🤮

i wanted to bleach my eyeballs aehtaklth

that was a bad day when i sat through that LOL.

free prime movies deserve no rights, it's true.

[ STEVIE ]

can you imagine if m*ver was in that??

literally would have had to burn my eyes

EVERLEIGH:

censoring his name feels right, thank you for that.

god, he would've made it even more unwatchable LOL.

deserves a razzie for every performance.

[ STEVIE ]

brb writing in to the razzies demanding they give awards to personalities

EVERLEIGH:

the only award he'd sweep every season <3

[ STEVIE ]

iconic of him honestly

still replaying mav's drink performance in my head

EVERLEIGH:

some of Kingston's best work, i think.

really grabbed some random person's beer, i thought he was about to drink it. planned it well in advance. it was impressive.

[ STEVIE ]

tbh i would've thought he was going to drink it too if i saw him

our bozo deserves that academy award

EVERLEIGH:

can't believe we know a razzie winner and an academy award winner, wow.

points for us, really.

[ STEVIE ]

we're so well connected

how was the rest of your new year's btw ❤️

lauren, jun, and i drank champagne on the floor and watched the fireworks from the top floor of some hotel i can't remember the name of anymore so

good stuff

EVERLEIGH:

that sounds phenomenal!

new years was... interesting?

i'm shocked you don't already know. feels like most of the world does.

headline is: i am *not* Kingston's girlfriend.

shocking, i know.

[ STEVIE ]

oh?

i try to avoid headlines. for obvious reasons.

did they take pics at the show? they're so sneaky with those cameras i swear

EVERLEIGH:

the show, after the show, the next morning.

that sounds bad.

NOTHING HAPPENED, IT JUST LOOKED LIKE IT DID.

new years day was a mess <3

[ STEVIE ]

ohhhh :)

ofc, ofc.

if it makes you feel any better, i had a wicked hangover and paps got some REALLY unflattering pics at the airport <3

EVERLEIGH:

think they got some of Kingston walking out of the hotel looking... oh, wonderful. not hungover at all. bright eyed and bushy tailed and all that stupid shit, lol.

followed me to the airport until my coworker saved me, haha.

weird seeing my face everywhere, so i only sort of relate, but kind of relate to any struggle you might have with the paparazzi. bunch of asses.

[ STEVIE ]

yuck they're such gremlins 😤

i guess just....avoid searching your name on any social media. best advice i can give.

"i do not see" and all that

makes it ~slightly~ easier to pretend they don't exist

EVERLEIGH:

definitely won't look myself up. thank you. <3

one comes near me i'll have to get Kingston his second oscar for a secondhand beer shower.

[ STEVIE ]

who needs a bodyguard when you have a maverick

we should just hire him at this point

since we're only listening to two of his songs and all

EVERLEIGH:

never tell him but

i was a little high on new years so he knows i downloaded one of his albums...

and it was good so i downloaded the other.

fucking embarrassing.

he must never know. i will deny it if it's ever mentioned to him.

STEVIE:

LOL

are you sure you're not his girlfriend :)

jk don't block me

ok but what's your favorite song

not that i'm saying i listen to his music OBV

but what i never said to you is....like top ten all time songs for me for sure

EVERLEIGH:

lol, we only TOLERATE his music and that's okay.

what i never said to you is amazing, but i think my favourite is you used to like my poetry. something to say about how it feels like a punch in the gut.

kind of like the acoustic version of abstract blue?

those two back to back are emotional damage in the best way.

[ STEVIE ]

i love getting emotionally wrecked by my own songs it's true

another great song from him, good choice.

.....might be a shot in the dark here but would you happen to be free on

when was it

jan 20???

not to give him *too* much credit but seeing maverick in action is ~okay~

EVERLEIGH:

i'll have just landed in LA but that would be so fun!

seeing YOU in action would be better than him, i'm certain.

MARS can have me for the day.

as long as you're cool with me doing stats homework while you record. promise it'll be multitasking while i listen, lol.

[ STEVIE ]

omg yay! okay i'll text the bozo about it and he can send you the info

.....or i guess i could just send you since he was texting me with your phone LOL

and yes pls, even tho i'm crying just thinking about having to do stats

it'll be so much fun! :)

EVERLEIGH:

promise not to verbalize any math, no statistical nightmares for anyone except me.

thank you for inviting me, i'm excited!! and either of you texting works, as long as i know where to send the cab from the airport.

[ STEVIE ]

oh why don't you actually send me your flight info? marty can send a car to pick you up

EVERLEIGH:

omg, really? you don't have to. i've almost mastered the art of the cab whistle in america, lol.

[ STEVIE ]

girl yeah the label will pay for it take advantage pls

or maybe i'll steal maverick's card while he's here and charge it to him

you know

cause men don't get into our recording sessions for free

even if they're featured on the song

EVERLEIGH:

snacks should be on Kingston too, just in case the cab doesn't charge enough. <3

[ STEVIE ]

sending mav a bill for this popcorn that should be here any minute

EVERLEIGH:

as you should. 😌

STEVIE:

oh i think jun just walked thru the door

finally

i don't know why men take so long to find things at the grocery store???

anyway, thanks for keeping me company <3

i'll let u know what we think of scream 2! and dont forget to send me your flight info!

hope the rest of your night is good <3

EVERLEIGH:

men take SO LONG it's like they want us to tell them not to and go do it ourselves.

thanks for the invitation! have the best night! <3

flight info will come in hot as soon as my nap is done! :)

enjoy scream 2! <3