CATEGORY: Songfic
FEATURING: prettyodd!era
TRIGGER WARNINGS: A scared Ryan Ross
PROMPT: Based on the music video for the Gorillaz song Saturnz Barz.
WORD COUNT: 2,651
This one isn't SUPER ryden but I wrote it and I'm proud of it
Above is the music video mentioned ^ the oneshot will make more sense if you watch it first

Music played from the stereo as the sharp-looking red car drove down the street. The sky was clear and bright, with the occasional puffy cloud, and the sound of birds chirping from the trees, combining cheerily with the music.

A man by the name of Brendon Urie was at the wheel, singing to the radio as he drove. The song playing, Nine In The Afternoon, was one he knew well; it was a song created and performed by his own band, after all.

Brendon's bandmate, Ryan Ross, sat in the passenger seat, rolling his eyes at Brendon's singing, but smiling. The other two members of the band, Spencer and Jon, were in the backseat together, mostly ignoring Brendon and looking at the scenery around them instead.

"Back to the street, down to our feet, losing the feeling of feeling unique. Do you know what I mean?" Brendon sang. He was smiling, content to be out on the road with his friends.

"Is he ever going to stop?" Jon asked Spencer with a sigh, just loud enough for Brendon to hear. The lead singer turned around the flick the bird at Jon before continuing to sing, without missing a beat. "Back to the place, where we used to say, 'Man it feels good to feel this way'. Now I know what I mean!"

Brendon turned down the radio for a moment. "Ryan, what street are we on? Are we almost there?"

The man in the passenger seat shrugged, a smile playing out on his lips. "Don't know."

"I thought you had the map!"

"No, it's in the glove compartment."

Brendon sighed and stared straight ahead as he drove. "Well, get it out for me, and figure out where we are."

Ryan opened the glove compartment and dug around through the chip bags, guitar strings, and raw CDs. He eventually found the map and pulled it out, unfolding it and squinting at the tiny lines and writing. Ryan glanced to the street signs as they drove, frowning and looking back at the map a few more times. "We've got a long way to go--wait." He turned the map right-side up. "Oh. I was reading it wrong. Turn right at this stop sign...and then it should be a few blocks down."

"Good." Brendon turned the radio back up just a bit, humming along to the tune as he turned. After a few more blocks down Saturn street, he stopped in front of a two story house. "Here we are!"

Ryan, Jon, and Spencer looked up at the house. It seemed to be in poor condition, with most of the windows boarded up, and the paint peeling off so that it was more wood than paint. "This is where we're going to be living?" Spencer said with a raised brow.

"Maybe! The owners aren't living here, but they said it's unlocked, and we can take a look to see if we're interested." Brendon hopped out of the car and strolled up the walk, leaving his bandmates no choice but to follow him up onto the covered porch. The lead singer rang the doorbell, which let out a harsh, clanging ring.

Thunder suddenly rumbled above, and Ryan, Jon, and Spencer looked behind them to see rain pouring down. The sky had been clear only a moment ago...right?

Brendon pushed the door open, which creaked on its hinges. "Loudest doorbell I've ever heard," he commented. He still had a carefree grin on his face, while his friends behind him looked more concerned.

"Looks like a fixer-upper," Jon added in a sarcastic tone, making Ryan and Spencer both snort.

The band entered the house, standing in the hallway. A large painting of an unfamiliar figure hung on the wall to one side, and there was a tattered rug on the floor. "Hmm. Welcoming." Ryan gave his friends a faint smile.

"A little too welcoming, I say," Brendon added. He nudged at the rug with his shoe. "Would it kill them to vacuum?"

Ryan sighed and approached the staircase at the end of the hall. Brendon was seemingly still interested in the house, so he and the others would just have to humor him for now. "I'm gonna head up a bit, take a look around." He put a hand on the edge of the ancient staircase.

"Great idea, Ry," Brendon said with a chuckle. "Always works out well in horror movies."

Ryan headed upstairs carefully, looking around as he went. The house was old, certainly, but not uninteresting. Hopefully he could find something to occupy him until Brendon realized what a mistake it would be to buy the property.

Still downstairs, Jon wandered through the living room, which was empty save for a well-worn, faded couch. He spotted a door in the corner of the room, and, driven by curiosity, opened it to reveal a staircase descending to the basement.

Spencer had wandered his way down the hallway until he'd found the kitchen. Ignoring the fact that the door had a large hole punched through it, he headed into the room, hoping to find some food; he hadn't eaten all day. A clanking sound to the side of the room distracted him, and he turned to see the warm light of the fridge, whose door was wide open. "Wow..."

Now upstairs, Brendon was meandering around, humming to the tune of one of the songs from Pretty Odd. However, as he passed by a bathroom, something caught his eye. "The bath!" he shouted triumphantly as he saw a bathtub in the corner of the room; online, the house had been advertised as having a classic bathtub, and he'd gotten excited about it. "Hey, you guys, I'm just gonna take a bath," he called over his shoulder to his bandmates as he pulled down his pants.

Ryan finally entered one of the bedrooms upstairs, yawning. He'd been up late last night going over the band's new album, and he was exhausted. "I'm so tired," he mumbled, flopping down onto the bare mattress and closing his eyes.

In the basement, Jon had found a huge amount of records, as well as a few chairs and a record player. The house might have been weird and old, but it at least had a decent collection. Jon flipped through the records, recognizing all of them except for one on the end, hidden away in a dark blue case. Saturnz Barz. Curious as to what the record held, Jon slipped it out of its case and carefully put it onto the record player, setting it up to play and sitting down as music began to emanate from the record.

Ha ha, all yoff
Done know how the thing go, the unruly boss don'?
Ha ha ha

Spencer was astonished. In the fridge, he had found a giant, beautiful pink and white frosted cake. It was fresh as a daisy, especially considering that the owners of the house were supposedly gone. He licked his lips as he admired the cake; it was just the thing he needed to satisfy his appetite.

Press the button to begin

Upstairs, Brendon was in the bathtub, which had strangely dark, murky water. He ducked his head under the water to get his hair wet, but suddenly found himself sinking, sinking...no, falling, right past Ryan, who was in bed.

Something was there in the room with the now-sleeping Ryan, call it what you will; a monster, an alien, a horrific beast. It had a large head with long snake-like tendrils on the top, and a snake-like body, all completely black. Only one of its eye sockets was occupied by an eye, while the other had another tendril coming out of it, almost like a hand. It was slowly slithering up to the unsuspecting Ryan, who was nowhere near being awake.

Cho
All my life
Me never have me gun so me have to move sharp like me knife

The creature suddenly flung itself towards Ryan. The man was shaken awake, and tried to squirm away, but the monster had him pinned by its massive head. "Brendon!" he screamed.

All my life
Me pray say when me get wealthy a ma a me wife

Down in the basement, Jon was listening to the strange song, still in the chair from before. He didn't recognize the lyrics, really, maybe if he just listened a bit longer...but suddenly, a massive creature loomed from the stairs. It resembled a worm, with a long, blue body and a single eye with eyelashes, finished off with a gaping red and pink mouth complete with teeth. The worm wrapped itself around the shakign and terrified Jon, who struggled to free himself as it constricted around him.

All my life
The system force me to be a killer just like Rodney Price
All my life
No, all my life

Spencer, still in the kitchen, was flung backwards from the fridge and onto the ground as the cake suddenly launched at him. Food of all kinds was pouring out of the fridge and onto him, with a particularly large piece of pepperoni pizza hovering just above his head. The slice of pizza had a face, somehow; Spencer hoped deeply that he was hallucinating.

What happen to you Cobe? Some boy don't know me
To how rough dem can't believe a grandma grow me
Know few Popcaan songs tho, and fell they know me
Four miles me used to walk to school, them know my story? Ha!

While his bandmates were going through their own seperate, tortured ordeals, Brendon was having a great time. Somehow, the bath had transported him to a strange galaxy, and he was floating around as naked as the day he was born. He wasn't scared, however; this was almost fun for him. He dodged asteroids as he floated through space, a playful smile plastered over his face.

Now me gain up all this glory
The world is mine, the world a it me taking slowly

There was a beautiful, soft pink planet just at the edge of Brendon's vision. As he turned to look at it, a small asteroid, about the size of an easy chair, headed right for him. It nailed him directly in the crotch, and he let out an "Oof!" of pain as he spiraled away, curling up and groaning from the hit.

Happy days me call it now me bun sad story
Anyway me the inner world me dogs them around me, ha ha ha
Me laugh and collect those trophy
Because me deserve everything tha' music gives me, boy
Unruly no night light like Frisbee
The dream? Family to live that with me

Ryan, meanwhile, was trapped in the grip of the black snake-like creature. The tendrils on its head had wrapped around him, keeping him trapped firmly in its grip no matter how he screamed and struggled. Ryan didn't know how, but somehow they had ended up on a small gray moon in the middle of space, and he was almost positive he'd seen a buck-naked Brendon flying by only moments ago.

Little did Ryan know taht his bandmate, Jon, was on the other side of the moon, still stuck with the blue worm monster. It was wrapped firmly around his body, constricting him and squeezing him so tightly that Jon thought he was going to suffocate.

Oh (oh), oh (oh), oh (oh), oh
All my life, me dream for own house
Land, cars and bikes
All my life

On a nearby floating chunk of an asteroid, Spencer was still down for the count. The food from the fridge was now trying to shove its way into his mouth and down his throat, choking the man. The pizza floated almost menacingly around the asteroid, watching Spencer with a terrible grin on its face.

I'm in the stakin' bar
I got debts, I'm a debaser
All my life
Saturnz about to make love
And I'm just, a heartbreaker

Suddenly Ryan was back in the house, though still trapped in the grip of the monster. By now, tears were running down his face; he had no idea what was going on, and none of his bandmates, wherever they were, seemed to have heard his cries for help. The black monster was changing colors now, going from black to an opaque white. It suddenly lurched its head, releasing Ryan and throwing him onto the bed on the wall...

Jon had heard Ryan's shouting, but had been unable to respond. He was back in the house too, trapped by the blue worm and struggling to breathe. He didn't have enough air in his lungs to cry out, and he felt sure that if he couldn't breathe soon, he'd die.

All my life
And I won't, get a take in
Cause I'm out, when I'm stakin'
At the rate, I am breakin'
Are making you, a personal day

Without warning, Jon was suddenly back in the house, standing in the stairway that Ryan had gone up earlier. Shaken, he gasped for breath, finally free of the blue worm creature. 

Once he was able to breathe normally again, he stared upstairs with an awed look on his face. Before he could head upstairs in search of his friends, something grabbed him, and he let out a scream. It was the blue worm again, wrapping itself around him and trapping him once more. It dragged him down the stairs and into the living room, and Jon was just able to release another scream before the house broke apart, pieces floating off in different directions.

With the holograms beside me
I'll dance alone tonight
In a mirrored world, are you beside me?
All my life
Distortion

After his recovery from being hit, Brendon was floating freely through space again. Spotting a miniature version of the house, Brendon floated over to it and grabbed the roof, sitting on top and soaring off. Lights shone around him in beautiful colors, and a strange blue worm spiraled around Brendon as he shot off into the distance.

All my life
I'm in the stakin' bar
I got debts, I'm a debaser
All my life
Saturnz about to make love
And I'm just, a heartbreaker

Brendon suddenly stopped. The entire front of the miniature house fell off, revealing all four band members inside. Ryan was scrambling up on the bed, Jon was gripping the arms of his chair, and Spencer was curled up tightly in the fridge. Brendon was crouched in the bathtub, finally looking just as scared as the rest of his band.

All my life
And I won't, get a take in
Cause I'm out, when I'm stakin'
At the rate I am breakin'
Are making you, a personal day.

The rain outside of the house suddenly stopped sharply, to be replaced by the clear blue skies and singing birds of before.

After a few moments, the four members of Panic! At The Disco walked back out the front of the house, just as they'd entered it what seemed like ages ago. They piled back into the red car out front, in their usual seats.

"Breakfast?" Brendon questioned his band members, a grin on his face. He seemed unfazed again.

"Oh, yeah. I've got a real appetite." Ryan was smiling, too, but he was holding tightly onto Brendon's free hand, which seemed to be steadying him.

"Just a peppermint tea for me," Spencer said from the backseat, tongue hanging out of his mouth and a sick look on his face. Jon, sitting next to him, shrugged.

With a rev of the car's engine, Brendon drove off down the street, Nine In The Afternoon playing from the stereo once more, the traumatizing events of what the group would later name the Spirit House now practically forgotten.