Collin's point of view

"Do you know Luke Hemmings?" Some girl asked me as Kyle and I walked into the school. "Your last name is Hemmings."

"I-I don't know him." I said and she rose an eyebrow at me. "Who is he?" I asked her and she gave me a small glare.

"If I figure out you know my husband, I'll kill you Collin." She said and Kyle laughed. "What are you laughing at you queer bitch?"

For some reason, that insult probably hurt and angered me more than it did Kyle. I couldn't stand someone making fun of her for who she is. It just made me upset and want to hurt the person.

"Don't-Don't say that about her." I said and stood protectively in front of her. "You're the bitch." I said and she laughed.

You stupid fucking idiot, now she's going to ruin your school year because she's one of the more popular kids. Fuck, you're not even intimidating.

"You're half my size, what the hell will you do? Tell mummy and daddy on me?" She asked and I froze as she laughed.

Thoughts of my real parents filled my mind as she just kept bringing them up. Tears filled my eyes and other students just looked at us, at me.

"Mummy and daddy don't love you huh?"

"Little cry baby, go to your parents. This school is for big kids."

"Aww, he just wants attention. Look at this, you've got the attention from like the whole school."

"Would mummy and daddy be proud of their baby boy crying like a little girl in front of everyone? Pathetic."

As I looked around, it just seemed as if more and more people filled the hallways. It just felt as if they were all laughing at me and judging me and joining in on it.

My lungs felt as if they stopped working and I couldn't breathe. My throat tightened and tears fell freely down my face as I gasped for breath.

I vaguely remeber being pulled to the ground so I could sit down and a loud ringing through the laughs and multiple insults still flying at me.

"Get the nurse or something! Fuck guys, be useful for god damn once!" A feminine voice yelled and I curled up into a ball as I gasped and wheezed.

"Attention seeker!"

"Baby!"

"Loser!"

"Collin, come on Collin look at me. You need to breath okay? Come on, breathe for me. Fucking breathe Collin." Kyle said panicke and she unzipped my sweater as sweat dripped down the sides of my face. "Where the fuck is the nurse?"

"He doesn't need a nurse, he's faking it."

"He's fucking turning purple you ignorant cockhead! Why, in god's fucking name, would he be doing this to himself you damn neanderthal?" Kyle yelled and soon, adult figures began filling the room as I closed my
eyes.

"Fuck fuck fuck, keep your eyes open Collin. Oh my god, I'm gonna kill a bitch. I'm going to kill that bitch. Where is she so I can kill her?" Kyle asked and I opened my eyes.

I grabbed her wrist before she could run off and she looked at me right in the eyes. "Come on, get him to the nurse's office. Kayla, come with us because we are not allowing violence to happen on our campus."

"It's Kyle and I'm always going to be by his side, even if I'm not allowed to be."

-

"Oh my god Collin, are you okay?" Luke rushed as he saw me sitting on a chair in the nurse's room. "Can you hear me? Are you breathing? Oh my god," he panicked as he grabbed my face. "Are you even alive Collin?"

Sadly.

I nodded and he gave me a hug. "I was so worried. I came as soon as I heard you were in the nurse's room. What happened buddy? They said they had to use some kind of CPR method to get you to breathe. Were you allergic to something because the adoption papers didn't say you had any allergies or were allergic to anything."

"Miss Kayla Toreno!" A loud voice scolded. "I thought I had told you that this campus does not condone violence and to watch your language?"

"My best friend almost died because of her, as if I'm not going to punch her in the nose." I heard Kyle say. "Oh, and it's Kyle."

"She-She what?" I asked but as soon as I stood up, I felt lightheaded. "Oh." I said softly because Luke immediately sat me back down and told me to stay still.

"Stay seated for a bit buddy. I'll try to see if I can lower her punishment to a few detentions rather than suspensions. Just sit here okay?" He asked and I nodded.

He left the room and the nurse walked in. "How are you feeling Mr. Hemmings?" She asked me and I just shrugged. "That is not an answer Mr. Hemmings."

"It's-It's Collin," I muttered and she nodded. "I feel fine." I lied and she nodded. "It was just a small a-attack. I'm fine." I told her.

"How did it start Collin? Miss Toreno said you were being bullied but the girl accused denied it." She told me and I just looked at her. "If bullying is occuring, Collin, you need to tell us so it can stop. It's okay."

It's okay... It's not okay. Nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay.

"There-There was no bull-bullying involved." I lied straight to her face as Kyle came walking in. "I just have um this thing called an-anxiety."

"Are you sure Collin? Miss Toreno said there was bullying involved. She was talking about your parents and you being a baby." She pressed and I shook my head.

"I'm sure." I said and she nodded. "Do I uh go b-back to class-"

"Your father just signed you out Collin. You're done for today." She said and Kyle looked at me with narrowed eyes. I shook my head and walked past her, wincing and flinching as she grabbed my wrist.

"What was that?"

"Me trying not to be even the least bit problematic after everything that's happened." I muttered as quietly as she did as I went to Luke. "Get to class."

"We're talking about this later Collin."

"Fine."

-

"What? No! He can't do an interview now! Jessie, he's a kid and he has anxiety and just had an attack an hour ago. I can't just force him to go on a live television now!" Luke said angrily into his phone. "I'm not going to force him!"

"Who cares if we're already backstage? He's not going on. Period. He's already freaked out as is." Luke said and then froze. "You can't... he's my kid now. You can't make me."

"Fine." Luke said through grit teeth. He hung up the phone and then threw it on the couch. "Our boss is a fucking dick."

"As if we didn't already know." Michael said and I pulled on my black hoodie. "It's okay Collin. You don't have to talk much okay? It's fine. You'll be right by us."

I nodded and then leaned my head onto him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders rubbing my arm a bit as he told me it was okay and reassuring me that I wouldn't have to do much.

"I-I hope not." I said quietly and then a stage worker walked in, telling us we had to be outside in two minutes.

"Two minutes?" I repeated quietly as my heart pounded against my chest. "Oh my god, two minutes."

I'm gonna end up fucking up. I'm gonna make a complete fool of myself and of the guys. I can't do this. I'm going to die.

I can't do this.

"Oh my god," I gasped and ran a hand through my hair before I brought my sleeve covered hand up to my mouth. "No no no, I can't do this. Guys I can't do this." I panicked and they looked at me.

"Calm down buddy, it's okay. You've got this okay. You won't be alone." Calum reassured me. "You'll do fine. You can do this, I promise." He told me and I shook a bit.

"Collin, come on buddy. You have to calm down. Please. It's okay." He told me as he rubbed my back. "Don't cry little man." He said and I gasped.

"Please." Michael said. "You'll be okay. Me and the guys will be around you the whole time. Just be yourself and smile, real or fake."

"If you smile enough, maybe one day it will be real." Calum said softly. "One day it will be a real smile."

Or maybe I'll end up forgetting what it's like to smile genuinely...

"We're on stage in a minute. Guys, come on." Ashton rushed and I cleaned my glasses before I slowly following the four, my footsteps soft and my movements small.

"Here to introduce the world to their new addition, 5 Seconds of Summer!" The lady said and the small audience clapped as the guys walked out.

I stood right beside Luke and then sat down between the two, keeping my sleeves pulled over my hands and this fake smile on my lips.

"Who is this boys?"

"This is the new addition to our little group of misfits. He fits right in with us, as you can see." Luke said and nudged me with a chuckle. "Introduce yourself buddy." He said and I gulped, keeping my voice from wavering or cracking too much.

"I'm-I'm Collin," I said and Michael rested his arm on the top of the couch behind me. Luke did the same and I leaned back just to feel their touch. It was calming, even if it was just a little bit, I needed it.

"How old is he? How old are you? You're so small and adorable."

"He's fourteen." Calum answered and chuckled. "Looks really young though huh? It's gonna come in handy one day. You'll be thirty years old and looking eighteen."

"You mean like-like Kellin Quinn?" I asked him and Ashton laughed. I blushed a bit as I realized they found a joke out of my semi-serious question.

"Yes." He answered and I nodded as I leaned my head on Michael's shoulder. The interviewer asked a few more questions about me, the guys answering them while I gave a forced smile or small nod.

"How did he come to join the group? Surely he's not related to any of you. He doesn't look like any of you." The interviewer asked and looked at all the boys.

"Well, I've always wanted a little brother you know? I'm the youngest and I get spoiled a lot, and even in the band I'm the youngest, so I started thinking. I'm also really into kids like, I love being around kids, although Collin isn't exactly a kid, he's still a lot younger than me." Luke said and Michael laughed loudly.

"Way to sound like a pedophile Hemmings." Michael said. "I'm really into kids, I love being around them." Michael repeated and everyone laughed except me. I didn't find it all that funny.

"Anyways," Luke said and went back to rhe question. "We passed an adoption center one day and it got me thinking. If I wanted a little brother, I could adopt a boy a few years younger than me, which would leave me his legal guardian aswell which didn't sound too bad." Luke explained and the interviewer nodded.

"What about the band? Tours? Wouldn't it be too much with Collin around?" She asked and the fake smile I had fell. My lips curled down a bit and I played with my fingers.

"It'd be and bit harder, but it is so worth it." Ashton said and Calum broke into some song I knew, but didn't particularly like. "Collin is like all of our little brother and it's really cool. He's into a lot of stuff that we are and is really intelligent and talented." Ashton said and I blushed.

"Collin, how did you feel when Luke came to pick you up? Was it weird knowing a band member, only five years older than you, adopted you?"

"It was um, it wasn't that bad. I didn't kn-know who they were but it's not so b-bad actually. They're k-kind od cool." I said quietly, not liking how all the attention was on me.

"What happened to your biological family?" She assked me and I froze at the mention of them. That's too personal.

"Confidential." Michael said and she looked at him a but shocked. This whole interview he was laughing and joking, but now he sounded dead serious and final. "Next question."

"Yeah, um, it's not something he likes thinking about it and bringing it up. We don't like thinking about it either." Ashton said and elbowed Michael, giving him a stern glare.

Michael pulled me towards him and I leaned on him as the interview grew grim and less light. The atmosphere was heavy and tense and every question next was strictly about their music.

"It's okay." Michael whispered to me and Ashton answered some simple question with an essay.

I just nodded and he set his hand on my lap, allowing me to just play with his fingers and trace his tattoo.

I just ruined their interview....