Collin's point of view

"Hey Collin," Luke said and I yawned. "Are you feeling better buddy?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, thank you." I said and he just shrugged, telling me that it wasn't a big deal. "Where's Michael?"

"He left to the nearby pizza place to pick up our order." He said and I nodded. "Want to go kick around a football with me and Calum?"

"I-I don't really like sports." I told him and he shrugged, telling me I didn't have to play if I didn't want to. "Can I-Can I go down to the basement instead?"

"Of course. Ashton is down there but he's just lying around." He told me and I nodded. I thanked him and then made my way to their music room.

I walked in and then Ashton looked up from a journal. "Hey Col, what are you doing here?" He asked as he pushed his glasses up a bit. "You play an instrument?"

"Y-Yeah," I said and pulled my sleeves down. "But I can-I can leave if you're busy and don't want to be disturbed." I said quickly and he chuckled.

"Nonsense. Come over here." He said and I walked over. "What do you play?"

"Piano and guitar." I said and he nodded as he crossed his legs over the couch. He motioned for me to sit down and I did, laying back just like he did.

"Yeah? When did you start playing?" He asked me, seeming genuinely interested in the topic. "Who taught you?"

He's faking it Collin, you're not interesting at all.

"When I was like eight." I said and he nodded. "I leaned piano first because of my older brother and I learned guitar around ten because my um dad owned one and I thought it'd be fun." I told him.

"Your family taught you then?"

"Just my brother with the piano." I said and sighed. "Guitar I learned by myself with my dad's old sheet music. He never played it even though he had all the time in the world too."

He nodded and then closed his journal. "What songs do you know?" He asked me and I just shrugged.

"A few for both but not many." I told him and looked down at my lap. "I'm not a quick learner so I can't learn songs one by one."

"Don't worry buddy, I'm not either. You'd think that being the drummer would mean I can practice new songs back to back." He said and laughed. "Not many people are fast learners."

"Michael's teaching me your new song right now." I said and he nodded with a chuckle. "I have verse one down..."

"Yeah?" I nodded and he smiled. "Can you play it for me?" He asked and I sat up straighter as I looked around, just now noticing a few guitars and a keyboard was missing.

The last time I played something for someone, I ended up messing up...

But he'll probably get mad if I don't...

Do it Collin. Play it for him. If you mess up, it doesn't matter, you always mess up.

Don't do it. You'll just mess it up and embarrass yourself. You'll look like an idiot.

It doesn't matter.

Yes it does.

"I-I... Okay." I said and he smiled brightly. He got up and then grabbed a guitar that was beside him. He handed it to me and then I set it on my lap.

I strummed it a bit and then when I noticed it was tuned, I began to pluck the strings on the chords Michael taught me.

Ashton rested his head on his hand and his elbow on the armrest of the couch while he watched me play, a small smile on his lips.

When I finished what I knew, I blushed a bit as he clapped. "That was great." He told me and chuckled. "If we ever need a guitarist to fill in I'm turning to you okay?" He joked and I nodded even though the slim possibility of it happening scared me.

"Okay." I said and then began to pluck the string randomly as I played random chords. Ashton watched and hummed to some song that I didn't know.

"Keep doing that, the last three chords and plucking pattern." He said and opened his journal.

I nodded and then did as he said. He continued writing in his journal, occasionally looking up at my hands. "Fucking thank you child." He said and I nodded as he closed the journal.

"You're welcome." I said and then stopped strumming. My phone rang and I reached I to my pockets. I didn't even know I had it on me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Collin, buddy, you see I'm kind of on the toilet and I'm out of toilet paper. Can you bring me some?" Calum's voice said and I snickered. "It's not funny!"

I laughed louder and then covered my mouth. "It's hilarious Calum." I said and he huffed.

"Can you please bring me some before I get a rash on my perfect ass?"

"Yeah, I'll be up soon." I said, not even questioning why he has his phone on him while he was taking a shit. He hung up and Ashton nodded at me.

"Calum doesn't have toilet paper and he's taking a shit."

"Oh my god really?" He said and I nodded as I handed him the guitar. He set it on the stand and we laughed. "I'll do it buddy, don't worry. Go hang out with the other two." He told me and I nodded.

I went upstairs with him and then sat down beside Luke. "Hi," he said and looked at me. I waved and then turned to the television. "We did something for you Collin."

"I'm scared."

"No faith in us." He said and I gave him a small smile. He chuckled and the patted my knee ad he stood up. "Follow me. Michael's in there right now because he came back while you were down there with Ash."

I nodded and then followed him around the stair case. He opened and door I didn't even know existed and I looked around.

There was canvases lined up and a table with different kinds of art materials; chalk pastels, paint, markers, color pencils, pens, erasers, everything. Sketchbooks were stacked beside them and then a few journals beside them.

There was a small couch in here that was preaaed againat a wall and two guitars were on either side of it, one electric, one acoustic. A large window was beside it but the blinds were blocking the light. Infront of the black leather couch was one of the keyboards and a small coffee table.

"Thank you," I said quickly and then have Luke a hug. He hugged me back and then his hand rubbed my back. "It's amazing, thank you so much."

"The canvases and paint and stuff I bought today but everything else was just taken from parts of the house. It's nothing much really." Michael said and I gave him a hug. "We just thought you'd need your own little happy place you know?"

"It's perfect. So so so perfect." I said and the two chuckled. I pulled away and then looked at them. "I love you guys."

"We love you too little man." Luke said and I smiled. "Now, do you want us to leave so you can be in here by yourself?"

"You don't have to go, but if you want, you can." I said and they looked at each other. "I don't mind. I'm just gonna draw." I said and they nodded.

"You do that then buddy. I'll bring you some pizza and a soda can and then I'll leave you too do your thing." Luke said and I nodded as Michael left.

Luke left the room too and I grabbed a pencil and a sketchbook. I sat down on the couch and then set the journal on my lap. I opened it and then looked at the blank page.

I turned the book upside down and then began to draw a silhouette of a city. It was just an outline because I was going to color it in after I draw the actual city.

"Here Collin," I looked up and then Luke walked in with a plate, napkin, and can of soda for me. "You have school tomorrow so don't stay up too late okay?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I won't, and thank you Luke." I said and he told me it was no big deal. He left the room and I looked at the two slices.

I grabbed one and took a small bite out of it. I set it down on the plate and then wiped my hands before I went back to drawing.

-

It was three am and I was still in this room, this time I was painting a picture. It was for the guys. I was painting a picture of them that I got off of the internet.

Instead of it being exactly the same, it was like pop-up art made out of different watercolors. There was a blue, pink, purple, and then a green. The stage was a cloud kind of thing and it mixed the colors and dripped down a bit.

I had started on it after I finished eating and I couldn't stop. I was actually almost finished with it, even though I didn't want to give it to them just yet. Not until I was positive it was perfect enough for them.

I set my paints down as I heard the door open and then I covered the canvas, careful not to let it touch the paint. "What are you doing up? You have school in a few hours." I heard Calum ask.

"I um couldn't sleep." I said and he walked in, closing the door behind him. He looked around and I left the canvas. "I tried when Luke told me too but I couldn't so I came in here."

"No?" He asked and I shooked my head. "Have you done anything yet?" He asked as he picked up my sketchbook.

"Yeah but it's simple." I told him and then he opened it. He looked at the shadow of a city and then he looked at me. "I-I still need to draw the actual part, that's just a shadow."

"What's on your wrist?" He asked and I looked down at them. Panic bubbled in my chest and I pretended to rub something off of it.

"It was paint." I said and then pressed them against my stomach. He set my sketchbook down and then looked at me. "I was painting and then I got paint on me, as you can see." I said.

"Yeah, okay, let me see." He said and I shook my head. He set his hands on his hips and then gave me a look that made my heart hammer even harder against my ribs. "If it was just paint you shouldn't be so nervous and so freaked out about me seeing."

"Calum-"

"Collin, let me see your wrists." He said sternly and a lump formed in the back if my throat. I shook my head and he looked upset and worried. "Now Collin."

"No." I said and hid them behind my back. I can't believe I was stupid enough to take my bracelets off. I can't believe I was stupid enough to walk over to him without my bracelets.

I can.

"Collin Hemmings," he said and tears formed in my eyes because I was scared and panicking. I was on the verge of breaking down. "Let me see your wrists now." He demanded and I slowly pulled them from behind my back.

He took them in his hands and then flipped them over, letting his eyes run over each and every cut and scar. He looked at me and I looked down, embarrassment and guilt filling my stomach.

"You're not going to school today either. This is serious and we are going to talk about it." He told me and I nodded quickly as a few tears fell.

"Just-Just me and-and you?"

"No. Me, you, and the guys. All five of us are going to talk and we're going to help you okay? This isn't something we, I, can push aside." He told me and my eyes widened as I ahook my head.

"N-No! Please no!"

"Yes Collin."