Vanessa's point of view

"Where the hell were you?" Luke asked me angrily as he literally yanked me into the house. "We were worried sick."

"Didn't seem like it." I muttered because while I was out crying to Michael at four am, he was partying with brunettes, booze, and blunts.

"You were gone for two days! Where were you?" He asked me and I looked at him, flinching at his red face and dark eyes. "Arzaylea was worried sick and it was me she cried to."

"Well you're her boyfriend so that makes sense." I said and he grabbed my wrist when I tried to walk away.

"And what the hell is that on your neck?" He asked, and my heart practically stopped when his fist went around my neck.

I knew he didn't mean to harm me, just to get a better look, but it scared me. He had big hands and could choke me with just the slightest pressure, and since he's angry, that doesn't help.

"Let me go." I cried and pushed him away, falling on my bottom when he let go. "Don't do that." I said and grabbed my own neck, fear bubbling inside of me.

"Where the hell did you go? And why do you have a hickey?" He asked and groaned. "God dammit Vanessa, what the hell?"

"You scare me-"

"I scare you? If you wouldn't piss me off, I wouldn't scare you!" He said and someone came running downstairs.

"Luke!" Arzaylea yelled and pushed him away. She looked at me and the next thing I knew, she was engulfing me in a hug. "God damn, I was so scared Vanessa. Never do that again. I drove to all the places you were at and you weren't there when I got there, the cemetary, the café, everywhere."

"How did you-"

"Twitter." She said and I nodded. "I called you and texted you and spammed your social media and everything." She cried as she pressed her forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry." I said softly and she said it didn't matter, as long as I was safe and back home. "I was at Michael's the past few nights though, that's all." I said and she nodded.

"He said he didn't know where you were." She said and I looked down. "Never mind, I'm just glad you're okay. Why did you run off love?"

"I heard you and Luke arguing again and it really scared me." I said and she stood up straight. "I heard it all."

"Of course you did. I'm so sorry." She said and I shrugged. "Go upstairs, you reek of well... Michael." She said and laughed lightly.

I nodded and then went upstairs, ignoring the way Luke had his arms crossed and jaw clenched. I closed my bedroom door and then locked it, hanging up the bag I had.

I collapsed on to my bed and then decided to shower after I went to sleep.

-

"I thought you were dead!" Calum yelled as he saw me. Since everyone did it, it wasn't weird when he picked me up and hugged me. "Why didn't you answer my calls or texts?"

"It was off." I said and he set me down. "I ignored everyone, don't be hurt." I said, but no matter how mean I sounded, I kind of hoped he felt hurt so he could realize how I felt when he ignored me.

"We need to talk." He whispered and I nodded. "How dare you not tell us where she was Michael? We all asked and you said she wasn't with you and that you didn't know where she was!"

"I asked him not to!" I said and they looked at me. "I told him not to tell you guys because I didn't want to deal with anyone. All Michael does is eat, sleep, play video games, and play guitar. I needed that and not arguing and other stuff." I said, looking at the floor in guilt.

"She's not wrong." Michael said, putting his hands in my pockets. "I'm sorry guys. I thought she'd need a small break after she told me what went down." He said, glancing at them all but his eyes lingering on Calum and Luke.

"What did Calum do? Why are you looking at him?" Arzaylea asked Michael and my heart stopped again. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"But he looked at you and Luke extra long after he spoke." She said and Ashton crossed his arms as Michael looked extremely sorry. "Is there something you're not telling us?"

"No, why would there be?" I asked and Luke narrowed his eyes at us.

"This doesn't add up." Luke said and I felt my heart drop to my stomach. "Calum and you in the kitchen, Ashton yelling, you leaving to Michaels, then you came back, Calum tweets some sad shit, you tweet some sad shit, you disappear to Michael again, and you're both saying nothing is going on." He said.

"Either you're with Michael or you're with Calum, neither if which I approve of." He said and Arzaylea looked between us all.

"Why do you think my sad tweets correlate to Calum? I read a sad fanfic!" I said and they didn't seem to believe me. "It was a Lashton one and Ashton was depressed and stuff and Luke was happy and stuff. Then Luke starts to like Ashton but Ashton's scared to open up because people just come and go right? Then like Ashton almost kills himself but Luke stops him because true love and they end up dating but L-"

"Okay." Luke said and they all looked at me with weirded out expressions. "What?"

"I read a Muke one too where Michael is a bad boy and Luke wears pretty clothes like skirts and crop tops and flower crowns. It was cute. It was like bad boy and good boy. Urgh." I said and squished my cheeks as Michael laughed.

"Luke in skirts? Oh my god send it to me." He said and I nodded. "I want to read it for the shits and giggles."

"I read a Mashton fanfic about suicide hotlines. That really fucked me up." I said and Luke looked at me.

"That's really strange and never tell us the fanfics you read. Ever." He said and I nodded, able to sucessfully change the topic and make them forget about it.

And she's safe.

"Anyone want pizza?" Michael asked everyone but Arzaylea said yeah. "You sure Arz?"

"I'm fine." She said and nodded. "I think I'm going to go hang out with my friends now that I know Vanessa is safe and out of harms way." She said and kissed my head.

I smiled and Luke rolled his eyes. "Leave me with her thanks." He said after she already walked away. "What do you want to do, besides for run away?"

"You know what-"

"That's enough Luke." Ashton said and then looked at me. "Don't blow your cool Vanessa." He told me and I glared at him.

"Whatever." I said and sighed as I rubbed my hands over my face. "I want to just watch some movies, or be thousands of miles away from you." I said and smiled as Ashton glared at me.

"Vanessa..."

"Yeah yeah." I said and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm going to play bass." I said and then pushed through Luke and Ashton.

I went into the music room and then closed the door before I grabbed the bass, my fingers wrapping around the neck as I lifted it and my other hand turning the amp on.

I put the headphones up and then sat down crossed legs, taking a deep breath as I played. I hummed and the door opened, revealing Ashton.

He took my headphones off and then crossed his arms. "You have to tell Luke." He told me.

"About..."

"You and Calum." He said with crossed arms. "He deserves to know." He said and I grit my teeth.

"He doesn't deserve to know anything! You said it yourself he'd flip if he found out!" I said and he told me to watch my tone. "You're not my dad Ashton-"

"Because your dad is dead. Maybe he put up with your attitude but we won't. Maybe you're going through stuff but running away and taking your frustrations out on us isn't fair." He told me and I put the bass down.

"Don't you fucking say that." I said and he looked at me. "Don't talk about my dad like-"

"He's dead Vanessa. You know he is, and we know he is. You saw his grave. So stop acting like he's magically going to come to life and swoop you out of here on a plane. Face the facts. Luke is your dad now and you have to treat him like he is." He told me.

"He's twenty, he's not my dad. He can try but he'll never be." I said and said something I wish I didn't. "Just because you didn't have a dad, you don't have to be such a bitch.."

He was taken back by my words and I felt extremely guilty after I said them. "Exactly, I didn't have a dad growing up. Take advantage of the fact you have a father figure in your life. Not everyone is that lucky." He said and then left the room, slamming the door shut.

I grabbed a pillow off of the couch and screamed into it because everything was going wrong and I couldn't stop it.

-

"What did you want to talk about?" I sighed as Calum sat on my bed. "Gonna yell at me for being a brat too?"

"I was going to say, I didn't mean to ignore you okay? I had to like... figure some things out first. I didn't mean to make you upset. If it makes you feel better, I ignored everyone too." He said and I shrugged.

"I guess it's fine," I said and he nodded. "I over reacted, about everything that happened. I'm super emotional and it makes everything dramatic."

"I've seen." He said and I nodded. "So, Ashton told me that we should tell Luke..."

"I say no."

"Same actually," he said and nodded. "It's just, he has a point. He deserves to know. Besides, it's better to find out from us than someone else."

"I don't want to, he'll hate me even more than he already does." I said and he nodded, agreeing with me. "Such a confidence boost."

"I meant he'll hate me." He said and I nodded. "Fine, it'll be a secret for a little longer. I don't think it'll hurt." He said as he laid beside me.

I agreed and he leaned his head on my shoulder. "Why is life so difficult?" He asked and I laughed.

"You're asking the wrong person that." I said and shook my head as I continued to write into a journal. "I couldn't answer that even if I tried."