- if you love Calum Hood comment a heart here because he is so underappreciated that it physically hurts me inside -

Vanessa's point of view

"Do you always come to school looking like you're going to buy the damn place?" Miranda asked me as we sat on a table outside, taking a spot where no one usually hangs out to be our meet up for lunch.

"I would never buy a school." I said and crossed my legs. "Also, I didn't know what to wear actually. I just thew whatever I thought matched and looked cute."

"Eh, it looks nice." She said and I smiled. "I threw on a sweater, a bra, some black jeans, and my converse, I didn't care. I don't care. This jumper is tearing apart at the seams and shit but I don't care. I look punk and that's enough."

"Very punk." I commented and she chuckled. "Especially with your hair, how it's shaved and then dyed black and blue. You look very punk, I get an Oliver Sykes with dyed hair vibe from you." I told her.

"Exactly what I was going for thanks." She said and laughed. "I'm going to cut it too, like super short. God, I hate long hair." She said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"But you just dyed it?"

"There's a reason the dye goes all the way up like this." She told me and I nodded. "I didn't even dye it properly." She said and sighed.

"It looks great though." I said and nodded. "I'm sure you'll look great with short hair too."

"Thanks man," she said and smiled. "Can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"How the hell do you manage to wear heels?" She asked me and I shrugged. "I can't wear heels, they make me want to fling myself down a flight of stairs."

"That's how I feel everytime Calum teaches me bass." I said and she laughed. "Because he does the," I said and put my arms around her, grabbing her hands. "Move." I finished and she laughed.

"Fling yourself down some stairs." She said and I nodded as I laughed, letting go of her. "Can I just say, you missed a spot when shaving."

"I know, don't point it out!" I said and grabbed my legs as she laughed. "You're so mean." I said and she nodded.

"I know." She said and I yawned, leaning my head on her shoulder. "What is this?" She asked and tapped my head.

"It's called being tired love."

"Love? Where the hell are you from?" She asked and I laughed. "It's America, we say dude."

"The band always calls me and Arzaylea love." I told her and she laughed. "I like it, don't laugh." I told her and she apologized, as she laughed.

"Anyways, I have unfinished homework and I'm debating, do I do it or not?" She asked and I shrugged. "Not doing it, thanks Vanessa."

"You're welcome." I said and smiled as we laughed. People who passed looked at us as if we were stupid, and Miranda just flipped them off.

"Why hasn't the band announced that you're living with them? I mean, I'm sure they'd be extremely excited to tell the fans that their... lead singer?" She asked and I nodded. "That their lead singer adopted a girl."

"I guess it's because they don't like Arzaylea so Luke doesn't want to confront the rumors yet." I said and shrugged. "I don't know."

"Interesting, have you ever th-nevermind." She said and shook her head. I sent her a questioning look and she just shook her head. "Forget about it."

"Okay..." I trailed off and she quickly changed the subject.

-

"I wanna sleep next to you," I sang softly as I brushed my hair out of tangles from napping earlier. "But that's all, all I wanna do right now..."

"And I wanna come home with you, but home is just a room with all my safest sounds," I hummed as I grabbed a hair tie and put my hair up into a messy ponytail, complete with fucked up curls from earlier today.

I yawned and then grabbed my phone before leaving my room. I went downstairs, walking behind the staircase and opening the door to the music room.

"I wanna hold hands with you, but that's all, all I want to do right now," I hummed and then looked into the room. "And I wanna get close to you, cause your hands and lips still know their way around."

I stopped in my tracks, quieting down as I saw Calum, his back turned to me with a pair of headphones around his neck and a guitar in his hands.

"I know I like to draw at night, it starts to get too real, the less time that you spend with me the less you need to heal." Calum sang quietly, shooting up a peace sign before going back to the guitar.

"What are you doing up?" I asked since he and Ashton had stayed the night. "It's like one on the morning." I told him as I closed the door.

"Couldn't sleep." He said and I grabbed the bass guitar, taking my own headphones out from the cabinet beside it. "You left your laptop in here..." He said and nodded towards the table.

"Thanks." I said and put the headphones on, plugging them into the amp, along with the bass. "Do you normally just play guitar when you can't sleep?"

"Pretty much." He told me and I chucked and he turned around to looked at me. "Why are you up?"

"I took a nap and just woke up." I said and shrugged as I sat down, crossing my legs and setting the bass on my lap, catching a pen and notebook beside him.

"I thought you usually song write in pairs?" I asked as my fingers hit the bass strings into the pattern of Beside You.

"We do but I get ideas at the randomest times." He told me and I nodded, glancing at the neck of the bass. "Do you just randomly come down here and play my bass?"

"Yes." I said and he laughed, crinkled forming beside his eyes. "I want to make you proud by learning more songs "

"More like you want my job." He said and I nodded.

"That too." I said and laughed quietly with him. "Your job is mine Hood." I said and he nodded.

"Take it." He said and waved his hand before strumming the guitar. "I could use some time off." He told me.

"You do... that's like now... tour doesn't start for another few months." I told him and he chuckled.

"Don't think you understand where I'm coming from, and I don't want you to think too hard now, so, forget it." He told me and I was a little irritated at people telling me to forget it.

"No, what do you mean Calum? I'm sure I'll understand." I told him. "You got to remember dude, I was, am, a huge fan. I probably care about your well being more that you do." I said and laughed.

"Nah, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." He said as he plucked the strings on his guitar. "Can I get a pick?" He asked as he pointed to the box beside me.

I nodded and opened it, grabbing one for myself and one for him. I tossed it at him and he thanked me before going back at the guitar.

"Don't you dare Calum Hood." I said as he played a song. He looked at me and I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're going to make me cry."

"You can leave." He said and smiled as I rolled my eyes. "Who am I? Who am I, when I don't know myself? Who am I? Who am I? Invisible."

"Oh my god." I said and he laughed, shaking his head with this smile on his face, like he felt complimented by my reaction. "I'm gonna cry." I said and set his bass down on its stand and I watched him.

"Don't watch me." He said and I got up, grabbing his phone. "What are you doing?" He asked as I unlocked it. "Why did I tell you my pin again?"

"Because you love me."

"Debatable."

I rolled my eyes and went to the band's Snapchat, holding the phone up to record him as he kept his gaze down on the guitar. It was about halfway through that he looked up and stopped playing the instrument and singing, laughing a bit instead.

"Get the camera off of me!" He said and covered his face. "Please, get it off." He told me through laughter and I ended the video, posting it on the account. "Why did you do that?" He asked me as he smiled.

"Because you're Calum and everyone loves Calum. Everyone needs a little late night Calum Hood in their life." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"Not."

"Yes." I said and then turned his phone off. I set it down and he began to play some other song on guitar. "Why do you seem so... sad right now?"

"I'm not." He told me and I hummed. "It's just, who, beside a club owner, plays overly happy songs late at night?" He asked and I shrugged. "What do you listen to at night?"

"Don't judge me, but I listen to your guys' slower, sadder songs and maybe some indie pop. I end up crying, but I am so far up this band's ass that I don't even care." I said and he shook his head as he laughed. "That was weird huh?"

"Yes."

"Oh." I said and we laughed a bit. "Can I have a second to realize I just embarrassed myself infront of one of my idols?" I said and he looked at me.

"Idols?"

"Yeah, the band? You, Luke, Ashton, and Michael? My idols?" I said and he seemed shocked that I'd see him as an idol. "You're so insecure, who hurt you my poor baby?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I just don't see myself as the kind of people someone would idolize." He told me and I shook my head at him. "Maybe... Maybe Ashton though... yeah, I look up to him."

"One day you're going to realize just how important you are." I told him and he smiled. "One day, keep that in mind."

"I'll be waiting."