N/a: I think I've started reusing names. If you've noticed any please point them out so I can fix it in editing. I'm very bad with names and planning names... like the one thing I didn't do, because who needs names anyway?

Idina let Walker stay home from school too. She knew if they went out in the public the paparazzi would catch it and it would be all over the internet, but her backyard was vast. They had a picnic, played with the dog and babies. They had a small basketball game in the afternoon when the sun was still out. She laid on the grass and made out with her husband while her kids were occupied.

In the afternoon Walker called his grandparents. Idina read in the next room, paying attention to the conversation. Walker was just telling them about his week, how excited he was for the holidays. They mostly listened while he talked.

The PT meeting went fine. They were short. Erika was doing well. She seemed to have a bit of a grudge against a certain sub who had told everyone they needed to do their biology project with their actual family, not a fictional one proving they understood the material and Erika had turned in a family tree that consisted of nothing but "idk, they're dead" and "IDK, never met them/seen a picture. I think we're related like this but either way, they're crazy and I don't feel safe meeting them." It made Idina, and her actual biology teacher, smirk.

"Mom!" Walker called, pulling her out of her thoughts and book she wasn't reading. She was suddenly aware that Aaron was cuddling her, his thumb lightly drawing patterns on her skin.

She got up, planting a kiss on Aaron's cheek, and walked over to the dining room.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Walker was grinning; that was a good sign. Taye's parents waived as Walker got up and left. Unsure what to do, Idina just sat down where her son had been planted.

"How are you?" she asked. She plugged in some headphones so Walker would have a bit more trouble eavesdropping if he managed to avoid Aaron.

"Well," Marcia replied.

"We were wondering if we could talk to you," her husband said.

"Sure," Idina said. At this point, she had nothing against them anymore. For all she knew, Taye had gotten drunk that night he sent the text. It was awkward, but they could work past it. Walker was more important than her feelings. "What about?"

"Well, you probably heard, Walker wants to meet up," Marcia said.

"Yeah," Idina said.

"We'd like to see him too," she said. "It can be supervised," she added quickly, "we don't mind. We just want a good relationship with our grandson."

"I'd like that too," Idina replied honestly. "I'll have to talk to Aaron," she informed them. "He has equal say in these decisions now," she added. She wasn't going to lie to them that she was letting Aaron take on a larger role in Walker's life. Taye wasn't around to do it, end even if he were the kid would not stand for it.

"That's fair," Marcia said, making Idina feel more at ease. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"It's been pretty good," she informed her. "I haven't had any serious episodes recently. I'm certain it's all linked to stress, and the medication did make a difference. But just because they made it better doesn't mean they'll make it go away. Walk's been having a bit of trouble getting that. He still seems to think that if I get on a good treatment plan everything will be normal again. We're doing our best to keep things normal, but I have no control when or how any of my episodes happen." They nodded along while she spoke. Idina rambled quietly, not entirely sure what to say. She wasn't about to hash out every doctor's visit to them. Aaron was the only one privy to that, her parents and sister a close second, knowing everything save for the most intimate details. "We are planning..." she pulled out her phone and wrote Disney World on the notepad before showing them the screen. She wasn't about to spoil the surprise for Walker. "It wouldn't be too difficult to spend a few days in New York."

They both nodded, smiling. It was contagious.

"How is Walk doing, really," she asked Idina. "It's so hard to tell over the internet. And, you said Aaron was helping?"

"Walker needs a dad," she said tentatively. "He needs a good role model. And Aaron's been helping a lot. More than I could if I'm being honest. They get on very well." She bit her lower lip. How do you tell someone their grandson is replacing their son with his step-father?

"We're glad," Jeffris said. "Don't feel bad." She has a feeling Marcia wasn't in full agreement.

They talked about coming to New York, when, what they would do. Idina promised to bring it all up with Aaron.

"Have you had any contact with Taye?" Marcia asked. "We haven't heard anything since he left our place, and, as his mother I'm worried. He didn't tell us how to contact him."

"I, uh," she stuttered shaking her head. "If he tried I have no clue," she lied. He said you're insane and want to hurt my babies. I call him when I have episodes until I deleted his number because it was making them worse. He and Aaron have had some text altercations and I'm pretty sure Aaron would physically hurt him if they met face to face. "Honestly, I think it's better this way," she said quietly. "At least for us."

"We still care about you Idina," Jeffris said. She believed him. She'd been close with both when she and Taye had been married. And they had been better grandparents to Walker, more supportive of the co-parenting than Aaron's mother was at least. She had a feeling his dad would come around soon. She wasn't s sure about her mother-in-law.

"Thank you," she replied. "And I don't expect you to be thrilled about the triplets. You're Walker's grandparents and they've got no relation to you. I will ask though that if we come over you're nice to Erika. She'll pick up on it quickly if you're not. Walker might too, and he won't approve," she added as a threat.

"Oh, Dee, we have nothing against your other kids," Marcia said. "You're free to do with your life as you wish."

"Aaron's allowed to want to have children too," Jeffris said. He got Aaron's point of view, being Taye's stepfather and father to his half-siblings. "As for Erika, it's amazing what you are doing. How did you know it would work out so well between her and walker?"

"I didn't," she admitted. "It was a lot of faith. And thank you. The triplets are going to know life's not fair when they grow up, but I don't want anyone going out of their way to have a grudge against them. If you have any issues you should take them up with me, not the infants or my husband."

"We don't." She was promised.

Idina nodded and closed the call.

~

Idina was arranging Thanksgiving. It was so much work. They were hosting, again. Not that she wanted to travel anywhere or plan for three babies after trying to arrange Disney World. Her managers wanted her to do a Christmas concert, considering she had two albums. She wanted to it, but the logistics weren't working for her.

Promise me there won't be flashing lights.

They couldn't. They could do all the tech, but they couldn't promise people's phones would stay in their pocket. Could not promise the paparazzi wouldn't corner her outside of the venue. And besides, she was enjoying time with her family.

On the other hand, she did not want to live off Frozen royalties for the rest of her life. It didn't seem like the smartest move. Maybe she should try it out. She knew her team wouldn't want her having an episode. She also wasn't sure if she wanted to work during her holiday. But one show, maybe the last night? Couldn't be too bad. The kids could do something fun with Aaron. Idina wanted to talk it over with Walker, but she could not without ruining the surprise.

Walker was excited about seeing his Grandparents. And it helped with the ruse. If they left early, they could celebrate at Disney World, and Erika could spend time with the Olsens on Christmas, and they could still have Hanukkah at home. It was almost too good to be true.

The court meeting was a few days away. Idina knew it would go swell. Third times the charm, isn't that what people said? They were going to get Erika something special, to mark the date.

And, most importantly, Idina was actually going to be there during the holidays. That was her goal. It sounded stupid, but the more she thought about the more she felt like something could just rip her away at any moment.

She took a calming breath. It was going to be fine.

"You good?" Aaron asked.

The triplets were asleep. They were cuddling on the couch, her on his lap.

"Yeah," she replied with a smile. "I can't believe it's been a year. I'm hoping next year my life will be on track again," she sighed. Aaron kissed her neck, making her smile as she continued. She wrote in her journal as she rambled until she finished the book. She stopped mid-sentence.

"Chickadee?" Aaron asked.

Idina robotically closed the back flap of the journal and opened it again, her thoughts stringing into loose air unsure where to go.

"The journal's full," she said after a second.

"Oh," Aaron said, expecting something worse.

"But it's full," she repeated, a bit flustered. What was she supposed to do now? "Aaron, it's full!"

"I heard you the first couple of times Dee," he replied. "Do you want some paper?" he asked after a moment.

"The journal is full," she repeated. She wanted her journal, not paper.

"Do you want another one?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Mhmm," she said, pouting and holding up the completed one with a look of disdain. It held a lot of hurt and heartache. She wondered what the next one would hold. Would she even like it? What if it felt different what if she didn't like it? What if she couldn't divide up the dreams and feeling, and all those seconds her therapist had suggested? What if it wasn't her journal. "Do we have another one?" she asked.

"We can go out and buy one tomorrow," Aaron assured her.

"But my journal is full now," she reminded him. "Now," she repeated. "What if I need it tomorrow before we get it? Or tonight? It's full." Her heart rate was rising. She could feel herself growing tenser, more alert.

"Shhh, Dee," Aaron cooed. "Honey, we'll find something, okay baby?" he said trying to calm her down. "I love you Chickadee, it's going to be okay. I'd never lie to you, honey."

He spoke sweet, poisonous words.

"Let's go look for one," Aaron said.

"Okay," Idina replied. That was a logical solution. She took his hand and they stood. Louie got up and followed them.

They went through the art cabinets, the craft cabinets. No nice journals, just Hilroys that did not feel right. Idina was getting more and more anxious. She was supposed to be doing the journaling. It was a part of her treatment. She had to do her treatments, or her triplets would grow up without their mommy.

Maybe she was too reliant on her treatments if it was psyching her out this much. It was just a journal after all.

No, it wasn't. It was a record of mood swings and episodes that the doctors consulted. It had her rambles along with doctors' notes and prescriptions receipts and clipping of articles they should blook into when she stopped breastfeeding. It had entries from when her babies started speaking and little things Erika said and what Idina liked to translate them as. It was something that she would leave behind when she died.

"Erika has some," Aaron said after they found nothing. "We got her a bunch, remember?"

"No!" Idina exclaimed. "We can't just ask her for something we gave her, what type of message is that sending?"

"It's a loan."

"How?"

"We'll buy her a new one tomorrow, so she'll never even miss it," Aaron replied. "She's using three, maybe, and we bought her over a dozen because we're indecisive and couldn't figure out what she'd like most. I'm sure there are some in there she doesn't like anyway," he rationalized. "And she has every right to say no," he added.

"No," Idina argued.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No."

"Do you want to wait until tomorrow to get another one?"

"Maybe, uh... no," she admitted.

"So this is the other option."

Idina sighed. "Do you think it's a good idea?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "And if you think about it, it builds another level of trust. This shows that we still respect the stuff we buy her as hers, and we will replace anything of hers we need. You borrow Walk's stuff all the time."

"True," Idina said. Though it was more like confiscating it until she had no use for it because her little one was spoiled sometimes.

"I'll ask," Aaron said, "Just sit in our room, kay?'

Idina nodded. She kissed his lips before retiring to their room and checking on the triplets. Louie followed her. She smiled and petted the dog.

"Got one," Aaron said, breaking her from her calm. He handed her a leather-covered journal with an aviator-inspired symbol embossed on the cover. It was very plain, but it was the right size. She loved the feeling of the leather. Maybe a plain journal would lead to a plain year, and a plain year would lead to a simple, uncomplicated recovery.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Erika didn't care," he informed her. "She thinks she had way too many. And she smiled a bit when she said that. And while I didn't say anything, she did assume it was for you and says if you need another let her know."

Idina smiled. "We don't deserve such great kids," she said.

"I know," Aaron said, "but we've got 'em, so what are we to do?"

"Give them everything they deserve," she replied.

"I can live with that," Aaron said through a yawn. Louie yawned too.

I'm going to write a bit more," Idina said, but I can use a flashlight so you can just hide your face in the sheets if you need to sleep."

"It's okay," he said, yawning again, "I want to cuddle with my wife."

They fell asleep cuddling, but they didn't make it through the night. Louie awoke them, barking up a storm, running out of their room, and barking some more. When they didn't move as fast as he wanted them to, he bit one of the blankets and pulled it out into the hallway.

"What the hell?" Idina mumbled, stumbling out into the hallway.

Louie ran down the corridor to the triplets' room and started barking furiously at the closed door, waking them. Only two cries wafted into the hallway.