Walker asked Aaron a million questions. He tried his best to answer all of them.

"Do you really love mom?'

"Yes, Walk, completely."

"Is it my fault mom's sad so much?"

"No."

"Whose fault is it?"

"No one's."

"Is it mom's fault?"

"No."

"Then why is she sad?"

"Her brain isn't working properly. You know that. She is getting a signal that tells her she is supposed to be upset, but it does not stop when it is supposed to, and she gets more upset. Her signals and chemicals are off."

"I thought the medicine was supposed to help."

"She just started taking it, it takes a few weeks to work."

"What if it doesn't help?"

"Then we can try a new one."

"What if none of them work?"

"Something will."

"What do we do until something works?"

"We try and help her the best we can. We make sure she's safe and with safe people and that she trusts us."

"What if mom hurts herself?" The question coming from such a young child gutted him. "I was reading on the tablet and when people get sad like mom, they sometimes hurt themselves. And then they take them away. I don't want mom to get taken away."

"Walker," he said, rubbing the boy's back, "I care about your mother very much and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she doesn't, but sometimes people need more help than what I can give, and if that happens we have to let those who are qualified to help her help her. And it won't be forever." Walker pulled his mother's arms around him tighter. "I don't want her to go away either, Walk, I promise," he reassured him. "And the medication might work. It is too early to tell. It takes a few weeks to see results, and her hormones are still a bit haywire from the pregnancy, so she'll get a bit better just by the levels coming down."

"Promise?" Walker asked.

"Yep, I promise bud," Aaron replied. "I love your mom and you. I'm going to do my best, I promise."

Walker held onto Aaron's arm tightly in response. "If something happens to mom, I'm going to hate you forever," he informed his stepdad. He was quiet for a while. "Do you think rehab really helped dad?"

"Yes, I do. I don't know for sure, but the goal is to help people and if he's moving and selling the house, he needs to be sober enough to do it."

"Does he know what he did to mom?"

Aaron sighed. "Yes and no. He knows, but not to what extent."

"That's not fair," Walker huffed.

"Why not?" Aaron was not sure what he was getting at.

"He did all this, and he has no idea how bad it is. He can just pretend it is all fine and it is not. He doesn't see mom like this."

"He's not okay either, Walk. That is why he had to go to rehab. In the long run, if your dad can get better, it will good."

"But it's not fair," Walker emphasized.

"No, it's not," Aaron agreed. "but we just need to try and do what is best for everyone, not what seems fair. This is better for everyone."

"Why are Nanni and Papi mad at me?"

"Hmm?"

"Nanni and Papi, why can't we visit them for my birthday? Why did dad say he doesn't want me to see them?"

"They're not mad at you Walk. They are mad at your mom. And your dad is worried they might use you to try and hurt Dee so he wants you to stay away from them right now."

"Why?"

"I don't really know," he admitted. He was not going to say that they had graves for Soren and Zephyr in their yard. Walker loved his little brothers and it would crush him. He already had so much going on that he was worried about and Aaron did not want to add to it.

"If they stop being mad at mom, will it help?"

"Maybe, but I don't think she's been worrying about them recently. They are in New York, which is far away, and I do not think they are going to do anything. I think your dad was just very worried about you and Dee and doing what he thought was best to keep you both safe, even if it was extreme."

"He doesn't care about us," Walker spat.

Aaron was not sure what to say. He was not sure what Idina would want him to say. She did not want to sour his view of Taye anymore, but Aaron was not keen on defending him either.

"I don't think that's true," was all he said. Because Taye did care, at the very least he cared enough to stay away. At most he was so mad he had made up that thing about his parents either to get out of paying child support that Idina did not want to pursue anyway or just hoping it would mess with her more. Aaron did not want to believe his wife's ex had a whole plan to mentally break her to get custody of Walker. He knew full well that all he had to do was ask to see him and as long as Walker was semi-okay with it Idina would let it happen even to the determent of her own mental health.

Aaron's stomach growled loudly, the vibrations enough for Walker to feel them.

"Are you hungry?" the boy asked.

"Yes," Aaron admitted. "I haven't head breakfast yet."

"Because you've been taking care of mommy?"

"Yep."

Walker got up and went over to the fridge. He got out a yogurt cup and a spoon and brought it to Aaron. He opened the cup, mixed it, and held a spoon up to Aaron's face.

"Thanks for taking care of mom," he said, "but don't let go of her, she likes it when you hold her."

It was a bit messy, but Walker managed to spoon-feed his stepfather some food without dripping some on his mother, so they both took it as a win as he crawled back on top of Aaron and cuddled Idina.

"I love you," Walker said, "Because you love mom and mom loves you. You love me too, right?"

"Yes, of course, I do."

"And you love Erika?"

"Yes."

"She never says it."

"It's complicated for her. Words mean different things to her and carry a different weight. Just like dad means something for you, it means something else to her."

"Cause you're acting like more of a dad than dad," he decided. "Dad plus one. But Erika doesn't really have a dad, so are you dad or plus one?"

"I think I'm still her plus one," Aaron said. "And Idina's her plus one. But neither of us cares about labels, we care about her."

"How come she never comes and cuddles with us?"

"It's weird and awkward," he said, "she's a lot older than you, to begin with. Like you are comfortable with Dee climbing into your bed because she has been doing it her whole life, but Erika is not. It would be like Taylor's mom trying to climb into your bed. Kind of weird, right? Or me."

"If it meant mommy would come sleep with me when she's sad you can come into my bed," Walker said. "Would she?"

"And pass up the chance to give you goodnight kisses? Of course, she would come."

"Then you have to come to my room next time she's sad so we can both make her happy. Like when she or Erika get scared and you make them not scared."

"Do you ever get scared at night?"

"No, I'm a big boy," he replied. "Would Erika come and cuddle with us if we asked her too? I think mom would like it."

"Idina would love that, but don't, okay Walker. I don't want her to feel pressured into doing anything she's uncomfortable with."

"But why would she feel uncomfortable?"

"Well, she did just meet us less than a year ago," Aaron pointed out. "And she is a lot older, Things that are fine as a kid get more inappropriate as you get older. Like it is cute to run around naked when you are two with a diaper on your head. When you are sixteen, someone calls the police for public indecency. Sleeping in a bed with adults in one of those things. I think it is a bit different from your parents, it depends a lot on your family values, but it is something people get into fights bout. Even things like if the family should kiss on the mouth, or if you should breastfeed children past a year or especially when they get old enough, they might remember it. Or even, girls especially, calling their dad 'daddy'. A lot of that can be construed as inappropriate."

"It's about sex, right?" Walker asked.

"Yep," he said. "People sexualize a lot of things they should not, so there's a clear cut it's not for a kid and is for an adult. Like your mother and I sleep in the same bed. It is not the same as her crawling into your bed. But if you were twenty, that would be weird, especially if she wasn't your mother."

"I get it now," he replied. "That's sad. Erika never got people to help her sleep. But that is not why she has night terrors," he said.

"No, it's not."

"Do you know why she does?"

"Yeah," he replied. Idina had shown him her files.

"Me to a bit. She said someone died. She didn't say who though, do you know who?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me?"

"No, Walk, it's her secret. She'll tell you if she wants too."

"Oh, okay." He sounded disappointed. "I don't want mom to go away," he said after a while. He closed his eyes and kept on arm firmly keeping his mother's around him and the other clasped around Aaron's.

Louie jumped back up into the couch a found a comfortable position on top of Walker's feet. Aaron just smiled a bit, looking down at his family. Walker looked so much like both his parents it was unnatural. And he had all the best bits of both. Aaron was already beginning to worry. What if his genes were stronger than Idina's? They had a public life no matter how hard they tried to be private and people would bully their kids, especially their daughter if she were not as drop-dead gorgeous as her mother. He had already seen some thread about that talking about Erika even though they were not related by blood. Aaron thought she was beautiful, but it was possible he still had his dad's lenses on. Not to mention his comparison was always the unhealthy girl he had first met, not an idol celebrity. He knew he was not an attractive one. He knew people criticized it. He was the reverse trophy wife.

It was too early to worry about this now, but at the same time, maybe he should be preparing. So he knew what to do if Lucinda comes home one day crying. If Erika did. He was the stay at home. If Idina were working, he would have to handle it. And period drama when Idina was away. There was so much he was still unprepared for. But he knew Idina would help where she could, and he also knew she was the one making bank, keeping them afloat. They could not split childcare half/half.

They might still need a live-in nanny, and of course, it would come out of Idina's pocket. He was a leech. And he needed to stop doubting himself. If he started spiralling, this would all fall apart. Look at what had just happened, he had done well with Walker. He was doing well with Erika and everyone was bonding with the triplets. They were still alive. The heatwave was not here yet. They could make a plan and enact it and do everything that needed to be done to give the triplets their best chance. Because they were not even a month old yet. And he never admitted it, but he was just as stressed out about it as his wife. Zephyr was moving around, and Aaron swore he would have a heart attack every time the boy fell the few centimetres onto the mat when his chubby little limbs gave out or he made an uncoordinated movement.

"I think mom's waking up," Walker said.

"What gave it away?" Idina mumbled, suddenly stirring.

"Hmm?" Aaron asked. "I dozed off a bit."

"You were hugging me tighter," Walker said, "so you were awake."

Idina squeezed him in response.

"Are you feeling better?" Walker asked.

"What do you mean?" Idina replied. Aaron wondered for a second if she was being Mother or if she truly did not remember. The fact that he was not sure worried him.

"I know you were crying," Walker said. "And it is okay, I just don't want you to be sad. Are you better now?"

"I think so, a bit," Idina replied with a sniffle. She whipped her nose. "Are the triplets still asleep?"

"Yes Chickadee," Aaron said. "They're fine."

"You haven't checked since I fell asleep."

Walked got up and looking into the cots. "They're all breathing," he said.

Idina sighed in relief. She rolled over so that she was no longer on her side and hugged Aaron tightly. He could feel a few tears falling on his neck and shirt as he hugged her back.

"That scared me," she whispered so that Walker could not hear her. "I really want to go see Angelika, I felt like I had no control over myself."

Walker came back to the couch with a sleeping Zephyr. "Here mommy," he said. "See, Zeph is fine."

Idina sat up and stared at her son lovingly. "Thanks, Walk," she said, taking Zephyr from him. Aaron pulled her back down onto his chest and placed the baby on hers. She watched him intently. He was breathing and clenching a fist in his sleep. "What are you dreaming about?" she cooed. What did babies dream about? It is not like they had complex understandings of what was going on around them. They lived in a happy bliss of being masters to any capable being around them. Maybe he was dreaming of warm milk and not being so hot he had to sleep in diapers only. She hoped he was dreaming of her so that they never had to be without each other.

Walker cuddled with them, a hand on his brother and another around his mom. He looked at her face then wiped away a few tears that were caught in the corner of her eye. He kissed her cheek then kissed the baby's cheek. Idina was still rubbing the child's back.

She heard Aaron's stomach growl. It sounded uncomfortable. "Are you hungry?" she asked, not wanting to get up. But she knew she had too. He had nothing to eat.

"I'm okay," He said. His stomach growled again.

"But you haven't had anything since last night," she argued.

"No," Walker said. "I fed him yogurt while you were asleep. I can get another yogurt cup."

"That was sweet Walk," Idina said. "But Aaron needs a proper meal now, or at least as proper as we can make." She handed Zephyr back to Walker and asked him to put the baby in the crib. Then she stood up, instantly affirming her prior action had been the right one. She was wobbly on her feet; unbalanced and her hands flew out to try and regain her balance as she felts herself go faint for a moment.

"Woah, Dee," Aaron exclaimed, on his feet the second she was not steady. He caught her and held her upright. "Don't get up so quickly next time," he said.

She just nodded and hugged him. Walker ran off to the kitchen to get some food while he just held her.

"How badly do you want to see Angelika?" he asked.

"Soon," she said. She just wanted to talk to her first before she talked to Aaron because she did not want to make him panic. She wanted to know the proper medical terms to use for whatever was going on inside her brain because she knew how protective her husband was of her right now and that he'd be quick to be on the life raft if something was amiss. She just wanted to make sure the boat was sinking before the abandoned ship and got lost in the middle of the ocean.

~

After the triplets were down for their afternoon nap, Aaron took Idina to see her therapist. Idina could not figure out if she wanted to go in alone or not and eventually settled for Aaron coming in with her because he was keeping her calm. She was not keen on having a nervous breakdown in front of her therapist. It just seemed like an awfully bad idea.

She still made sure she had all her papers in order, especially the ones about her medication. It was not therapist prescribed and they were new so Idina doubted Angelika would know much about them, but if she thought they might be the cause then they would have a starting point.

Clutching her journal, Idina followed the secretary into the office, Aaron close behind her.

"Sir," Angelika said when she saw him, "this is a private session."

"I want him here," Idina said. "This is my husband, Aaron," she explained in case Angelika did not know already.

"Nice to meet you," Aaron said, extending a hand. They shook and Angelika apologized for there was only one chair.

"It's fine," Idina said with a smile, directing Aaron to sit then sitting down on top of him. She was so comfortable with his presence it did not bother her today that Angelika was studying her body language, or more accurately, theirs.

"So, what happened this morning?" she asked.

"I, uh, heard on the radio that some babies had—" she clammed up. She felt Aaron squeeze her leg, but she could not even bring herself to think of the ending to that sentence. "I heard that— and then I thought that—" and it was happening all over again.

Aaron did not say anything, but he was squeezing her hand, giving her something to focus on. Idina croaked out a sob before regaining her composure.

"I know what they said," Angelika replied as she took some notes. "And how did it make you feel?"

"Like there was nothing I could do," she said. "Like I was a bad mother for even living here in California and I never should have had children." She paused. "And then I was mad at myself because how could I even think that? How could I even wish that they weren't here?" she started getting choked up again. She leaned into Aaron for support.

"How have you felt all day?"

"Sad," she admitted. Like she might burst into tears at any moment.

Angelika went through her journal with her, then asked Aaron a few questions. They talked for a bit, using medical terms and he ran a hand through Idina's hair subconsciously. It was so soothing she was about to fall asleep but was pulled out of it when Angelika addressed her again.

"When did these feelings in inadequacy begin?" she asked. "Was it before or after you started the medication?"

"Before?"

"Did you have them during the pregnancy?"

"Depends, does not think I'd carry them full term because there's something medically wrong with my uterus count? And the fact that I got assaulted by my ex who could have hurt them?"

"No," she said. "Something that would be a bit less rational. Those are very legitimate concerns."

"Not really," Idina admitted. "I had low days where I hated Aaron's guts for making me pregnant or wanted to tell them to shut up and stop kicking, but that was it."

"And have you had a hormone level test done since the triplets were born?"

"Mhmm," she said, "the papers should be there, I had them done before I got the prescription and after I started taking them."

"And the incident with your mother in law, is that normal?"

"No," Idina admitted. Normally they were both a bit saner.

"And when you're alone with eh triplets, what do you want to do?"

"I just want them to be all mine again," she admitted. "As I want them on me, maybe back inside, but happy and fun babies, not a pain in the ass. I like to put them on my stomach when they are sleeping. I feel kind of like they are far away, and I do not know what to do to get them back. And I can't hug them and squeeze them tightly like Aaron or Walker either."

They talked for a bit more. She asked detailed questions about the birth. Aaron had to answer most of them. She had blocked it out, not to mention she had been asleep. Then again, it came down to how it had made Idina feel. It took some coaxing, but she got the truth out. She had thought she was going to live, and the triplets would die. And she had thought that if that happened, she would throw herself off the nearest cliff the second she was let outside. And then the first one came, and it seemed perfect, but they took little Soren away. And she spent all her energy worry about him that when Zephyr came, she knew it was going to be one or the other. She had no memory of delivering Lucinda. It was all gone. She knew Lucinda was hers, somehow, maybe by instinct, but it did not change the fact that she did not remember it all.

"And you're trying to make up for that by spending a toe of time with her?"

Idina nodded.

"Do you think it's affecting your sons?"

"I think everything I do is affecting them," she said. "That's the problem. If I am not perfect, then... then we will not have them... and I am not perfect, so it is only a matter of time until I screw up. I almost already did. When I took the medication, if we had not realized sooner, if I fed them, the levels of the drug in my milk would have been toxic to a baby. It was toxic to me."

"How do you feel you are doing?"

"Not good," she said. "I wouldn't trust myself to be alone doing childcare."

"Why?"

"In case I have an episode or a spasm, or just because I'm generally incompetent." She was kicking herself for saying this. The last thing she wanted was to be told she was not fit for childcare and get removed from her babies. But she would not get better by lying.

Angelika nodded and wrote a few more things down. "I think a few things are going on," she said. "When it comes to the episodes of uncontrollable emotion, I think it has to do with your brain injury. The high levels of hormones may have been stimulating some activity, and now you're going through withdrawal, but at the same time, your doctors only know how your brain injury affects your pregnant brain, not your post-partum or normal hormone level brain. I do not think this is the medication, as hours after is too soon for a side effect of that sort. I do think you are dealing with the baby blues, bordering on post-partum depression. A lot of people think it is just about the baby, but it is not. If the mother is feeling inadequate, even if she is doing everything properly, it can still be PPD. Right now, it is hard to diagnose because we do not know what a symptom of the medications and your brain injury is, but your feelings line up with baby blue boarding on PPD."

"What can I do about it?"

"Baby blues tend to go away on its own, especially if there have been no bonding issues which it seems there are not. Usually, I'd prescribe some anxiety medication if the mother was not breastfeeding to help calm the nerves, but I know you taking some already that have been tested against your other medication so I won't be. Idina, you have got this, okay? You are an amazing mother to those triplets, and they are lucky to have you as a parent."

"Thanks," Idina said with a weak smile. She looked up at Aaron who smiled back at her. She was taking care of herself, just like she had promised.

"However, my concern is that with the medication and your state, if this were to develop into PPD that it would quickly become a psychosis. Do you know what the difference is between post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis?"

"No," Idina said. Aaron probably did.

"PPD is depression brought on by having a child and is a precursor to the psychosis. It can manifest in either the mother not bonding with the child or the mother feeling inadequate. It is often treated as depression. The psychosis, on the other hand, is when paranoia or other extreme symptoms start to come in. Attempting to hurt oneself or the baby, ideas that the baby might not be yours or is possessed. It can sometimes include hallucinations."

"And you think Idina is high-risk for a full psychosis?"

"Only if this develops into a depression," Angelika said. "I don't think that will happen."

"What happens if it does?" she asked, worried.

"That depends on how bad the psychosis is. Whether or not you are a danger to yourself or the babies will play a large factor in determining the next steps. But do not worry about that unless it comes to. It. You have more than enough on your plate right now."

"Right," Idina said.

"And if your treatment does work, I have little reason to believe anything will happen," she added.

"Thanks," Idina said with a smile. That was everything. So, she had the baby blues. It was such a funny name when she thought about it. She was just sad she was not Idina Menzel anymore, just stay at home mom who has no idea what she is doing Menzel. And being anxious did not help. But she could never see herself hurting the triplets. God no, she would never do that. They were too precious, and she was falling in love with them more every day.

~

Back home, she was greeted by Walker jumping on her and giving her a huge bear hug while shouting "Mommy!" as he did so. She swung him around, laughing as she accidentally swung his feet into Aaron.

She was not really feeling better, she still felt down. But she put it aside to play Smash with Walker and Erika until the triplets woke up, then she watched the crawl around and grab at things until supper. Once they were asleep again Aaron made her start work on the baby-proofing the recording studio because they had a plan. A plan that was going to work.

The heatwave was still a few days away, and who knows, by then they might have a power schedule up and Idina could turn the A/C on in triplet designated rooms and cool them down enough to last until the next power allotment.

Then she went up to Erika's room.

"Hi," Erika said when she saw her.

"Hey," Idina replied. "What are you up to?"

"Actually, nothing, I've just been laying on the couch. It's hot," she complained.

"Miss New York?" Idina asked.

"Just the temperature," she replied. "It's kind of nice not having buildings that block out the sun sometimes, but it's way too hot and it never snows."

Idina sat down beside her as she moved her legs to make room, pulling them closer. "Me too," Idina said. She was not sure what else to say. Tomorrow they would be making a long drive to get the DNA test done. The court was supposed to resume next week. Justice does not need electrical lighting to function. Idina ended up just sitting there for a while. The two of them were both wondering how to break the silence, but neither one of them wanted too. For once the silence was comfortable. There was no obligation to talk or have any reason to be close. They just were.

~

A week later the had the DNA results from three different companies. They all had the same answer. Erika and the supposed Elija: no match. Erika and the supposed Elvira: niece/aunt.

It could be worse.