The next weekend, Idina and Aaron had set up a four-way meeting with themselves, a lawyer, and Dr. Snow. They were making a battle plan for the next few months. If they chose not to settle, which they were not, there was no doubt the Riveras would draw this out as long as possible if it would help their case. Their best bet was to argue for the benefit of Erika and to prove that it was a quick arrangement with Idina and Aaron as main custody holders, They would have a better chance if they let the Riveras have visitation, but they could always fight that later. Right now, they needed to secure what was most important.

There were so many bogus arguments in the letter Idina thought she might explode, and not just because she was carrying twins and had above-average amniotic fluids swelling her up like a blimp. Some were contradictory, others stupid. Erika had an Android, not an iPhone. So what? It was safer and it was the one recommended to work with her high school app. The school was more important than a brand name. Others claimed that Idina was a bad figure for wearing makeup and other such claims that aligned with their goat farmer's spiritual beliefs. It was infuriated.

Others had more reason. If Idina was having twins, she would have less time for Erika. Erika deserved someone who could give all their time to her, not split it between four children. She deserved a place where she did not have to worry about blackmailers and abusive exes. They also claimed that she and Aaron were probably using Erika as a babysitter, and if they were not then they were overprotective and hiring a babysitter to look after a teenager.

Yes, they hired a sitter. For Walker. Erika was not under any pressure to look after him or do what a sitter said. If they could not find a sitter, they paid Erika if she agreed. If she said no, she said no. That was that. At least the contradictory statements could be used to prove that Elvira and Elija had no concrete morals and used to disregard and discredit some of their other arguments.

They spent hours pouring through everything, receiving council, and finding evidence in their favour. There was so much in their favour, but they had no idea what their opponents might have against them or how a judge would feel about this. All they could do was their absolute best. That was what they were going to do.

Dr. Snow had their back, and so did Florence. Their lawyer, Mr. Carlyle, said that had a fighting chance. More, possibly, depending on what the Riveras had. They would know for sure at the preliminary hearing.

Secretly, Idina was hoping nothing would come after that. It would be so plainly obvious that Erika belonged with them that no one would question it and they would be awarded custody there. It was not going to happen, but it did not stop her from dreaming.

~

After the meeting, Idina had a doctor's appointment. She had millions of doctor's appointments. For the twins, for her. Today, it was for her. Another brain scan to see how the swelling in her brain was.

Idina was so glad to have Aaron beside her every step of the way. He joked around with her as she changed into the gown, doing the ties in the back up for her as she joked about her bump and how unbumpfriendly the gowns were in the neurotrauma ward. He sat with her until she was wheeled away to the room, her teddy bear in her arms.

After the scan, he helped her change while they waited for the results. Then she sat in his lap in silence, still processing the events of the morning. Everything was a bit slower now. Thoughts needed to be processed with a bit more care, actions considered and planned out when she was groggy or foggy. At least her memory lapses were small and far in between. At least her nightmares were not as bad as they could be. At least she had very few triggers when it came to flashbacks. At least this was not consuming her life. That was what she told herself every day. It sucked, but it could be so much worse She was so lucky.

The doctor came and told her the news.

"The swelling has gone down considerably," he said. "No more bleeding. However," he said, making Idina gulp and hold Aaron tighter. "There does seem to be some permanent damage. We would like to do more tests to be sure, but we believe this might be the end of your recovery."

"What does that mean?" Idina asked.

"It means that the memory lapses will continue," he explained. "You might improve your motor skills and functioning within the next few months, but we do not expect a full recovery. You will be dealing with brain trauma for the rest of your life. This will include the symptoms you have been experiencing recently, but it will also put you at higher risk for other things, such as seizures, uncontrollable muscle spasms, thoughts of self-harm or suicide, depression, and put you at high risk for future brain damage." He said all this so blankly Idina could easily imagine him as the Tin Man without a heart. "It will be an adjustment, but in all likelihood, it won't be a big one. You will have to pay extra attention to make sure you do not hit your head. Things like a mild concussion or whiplash could make this much worse. Unfortunately, when it comes to head trauma such as this, it is hard to tell exactly what will happen. It could be very minor and not affect your life at all, or it could be life-changing. All the signs are pointing to minimal changes, you will have to look out for yourself more, especially for mood swings because of your history with depression, but we do not believe there will be life-altering effects." He was trying to rationalize it to her. "There is no reason it should affect your quality of life as long as you take the right precautions."

There was a pause. Aaron was holding Idina tightly. Then he asked: "If she has thoughts of self-harm or suicide, will the medications make her condition worse?"

"It depends on the medication," the doctor replied. "Again, we will want to do more tests and monitor the situation closely for the next few months. If I am not mistaken, you are a therapist?" Aaron nodded. "I'll give you a list of ingredients if it will ease your mind. Anything with side effects of muscle spasms or bleeding and swelling should be avoided at all costs, especially if it had been linking to swelling of the brain. But it is highly unlikely any of that will be necessary. I just have to warn you of all the risks, as I'm sure you know," he explained.

He started writing down a list and notes, then handed it to Aaron who was still holding Idina against him. Aaron read it over while Idina did not look at it. She was not sure if she was in shock or holding back tears. She had come all this way just to find out she might be a psyche case again. A psyche case just like Taye. Aaron would tell her not to think like that, but she was always thinking of the worst-case scenario.

They booked more scans after the twins came. She would still have her monthly check-ups, but anything more intense would be saved until she had given birth and had some more time to heal. Idina held tightly to her bear. She had yet to name him. While Aaron was filling out more paperwork, she asked Instagram what they thought the bear should be called.

Answers came flooding in. Pookie, Elphie, Elsa, Carebear, Beardina, Teddy, Snugluzz. She smiled as she scrolled through the names that came piling in. She stopped when she saw Buttons. She was not sure why. There were no buttons on the bear, but she liked it. She made another post dubbing him Buttons, her emotional support bear, and thanking the user @WinnilivesinWinnipeg for the name. Then she made another post saying these results were better than the last, though not perfect. It was not a lie. She was getting better. She just was not going to make a full recovery. Support and prayers came pouring in as she transferred the messages to Twitter.

"What you up to?" Aaron asked.

"This is Buttons, my emotional support bear," she informed him, making him smile. "Just letting the Fanzels know I've named him and that I'm doing better," she said.

"Remember, you still have limited screen time until the doctors give you the A-Okay to go wild."

"I know," she said with an eye-roll. "I'm just getting used to this again. I will have to start promoting my projects once the twins come. They are in post now, so I do not have to do anything for a bit. I'm excited, I'm sure everyone is going to love them," she said, a gleam in her eyes coming back that Aaron had not seen in a while. "Then I'll have the stuff to do with my album if I ever finish it."

She took Aaron's hand and stood up. They walked through the hospital, arm in arm.

"Aaron?" she asked as they reached their car.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think I might try and hurt myself?" she asked.

"No, I hope not. I just want to make sure every possibility is covered. And you do have a history..." he trailed off. "I believe you don't want to right now and, I, uh..." he trailed off, not looking her in the eyes. "I just love you Dee and I will always be worried about you."

She nodded even though it was not what she wanted to hear. "I don't want to want to hurt myself," she said. "But what if I do?"

"Then you tell me, and we sort it out like was always do."

"Okay," she said.

"You still remember our safe word?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Then you tell me if something happens. It might never happen. It probably will not. But I feel better knowing we have a bit of a plan and I think you do too."

"I do," she confirmed. She hugged him, her arms falling around his waist and she pressed her cheek into his chest. His arms fell limply around her waist too as his chin rested on the top of her head and they stood there for what felt like an eternity.

They might have stayed there longer but they heard the familiar sound of a camera shutter and Aaron quickly rushed Idina into the nearest door, which ended up being the passenger backseat. Then he got into the front driver and Idina crawled into the front passenger and gave the cameraman the finger as he came up to the door to try and get more pictures. She covered her face with a magazine as Aaron pulled out. The press already had enough pictures of her face, did they need more? Screw them.

~

"Hi, mom!" Walker said, jumping on her the second she stepped through the door.

Aaron was quick to intercept him and remind him that we cannot jump on mommy until the babies come.

"I love you mom," Walker said, still preventing her from entering the main part of the house.

Idina knew what was going on. "What do you want, Walkie-Talkie?" she asked in amusement.

"Nothing," he said with his arms behind his back and not looking at her. "I just love you. I made you food for the babies," he said, motioning to the kitchen. "Bridget helped," he informed her.

Walker was buttering her up for something. Idina paid and thanked his sitter. She had no idea what the boy was up to, but she wished Idina luck anyways and said bye to Aaron as she left.

Walker grinned as she ate the lunch he had prepared. It was a cheese and carrot pizza with Nutella instead of tomato sauce. Cheese and Nutella worked surprisingly well, but if she were not still craving carrots, she was pretty sure that part would be a bust and have her gagging in an instant.

"Will the babies end up orange if you eat too many carrots?" he asked.

"No," she said. She hoped not.

"Can I have a YouTube channel?" There it was. "Or Instagram? I want to stream games and talk about shoes. I don't have to put my face in it," he said quickly trying to get it all out.

"No," she said firmly. "We've already talked about this."

"But I'm older now."

"No," she replied.

"Can I have my own phone at least?" His phone was his insofar as Idina and Aaron knew everything he was doing on it and a lot of stuff was disabled. Her and Taye figured it was easier if he could just call them then having to go through a middleman every time, but he was still too young not to be monitored.

"No." She knew the instant she let that happen he would have his secret social media.

"That so unfair!" he said. "Taylor and Avery have them. And Erika's friends have Instagram. If Erika wanted Instagram would you say no?"

"Erika is older than you," she pointed out.

"How old do I have to be to have one?"

"Maybe thirteen," she said. "We'll talk about it when you turn thirteen."

"But I need one now," he complained. "You were born in the nineteen hundreds, mom, you don't get it. It's cool."

Idina tried not to chuckle or dwell on the fact that he was right.

"You're ruining my life!" he exclaimed as he stormed upstairs.

When he was out of earshot, Idina let out a chuckle. She turned to Aaron who had been promptly ignoring the outburst.

Walker came back to the top of the stair and yelled down: "I hate you too!" before scampering back to his room and slamming his door.

Idina could not help but laugh a bit. She did not have the emotional ability to get involved in this outburst right now. She would talk to him later when he had time to blow off some steam playing on his tablet and venting to Mr. Rabbit. Aaron seemed just as amused.

"Just wait till he's a teenager," she muttered under her breath. "That'll be one wild ride."

Aaron came up behind her and hugged her, his hands resting on her exceptionally large bump. "Yes, it will," he said, kissing her cheek.

"I hope we're doing everything right for him," she sighed. "I'm fairly sure he ripped up Taye's letter. I feel so awful."

"It's not your fault," Aaron said "And we are doing our best. That is all we can do. He's working through it with Snow and there's still lots of time."

"Yeah," she agreed.

She did break free form him for a few moments while she finished her pizza. Then she went upstairs to talk to Erika. When she got to the ajar door, she knocked on it. Erika was laying on her bed reading with her Kindle and did not seem to notice.

"Hey," Idina said. Erika looked up and sat up straight. Idina came and sat down beside her. "Kindle working out good?" she asked.

Erika nodded. She knew where Idina and Aaron had been today and why. There was no point in beating around the bush anymore.

"The lawyer says we have a fighting chance," Idina said. "If you want to stay with us. We will fight for you." She studied her daughter's face. There was nothing, but Idina knew she was shutting down again. "A lot of their claims were really silly," she continued. "A lot of it can be disproved and Dr. Snow is on our side, which helps more than you know," she continued. "And I'm sure they will consider your opinions too. This is about you after all." Idina paused, watching her reaction. She hugged Erika and kissed her brow. "I really love you; I hope you know that. We're going to do our best," she said. When Erika still did not reply she added: "Please don't shut me out again."

"I'm thinking," Erika said.

"That's alright," Idina said. "You can think all you like." She gasped as one of the twins decided to assault her ribcage.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, they're just kicking as their lives depend on it," she muttered, rubbing her belly, hoping it would calm then down. "Just a few more months, please cut it out," she said though it did nothing. "At least I know they're alive."

Erika said nothing. Idina knew she had some complex thoughts about the pregnancy that she never shared. Her expression always changed the slightest bit, just enough for them to notice. It was still as indecipherable as ever.

"I'm going to get certified as legal weapons," she joked. "If they break my ribs, I'm going to be livid. I'm not going through that again."

"You've broken your ribs before?"

"Yes, In Wicked. I fell through a hole in the stage near the end of the show and broke my ribs."

"Who put a hole in the stage?'

Idina chuckled. "Technical error. A trapdoor was supposed to be lowered slowly with me standing on it, instead, it made a five-foot hole in the middle of the stage."

"Oh, I thought it might have been like an inside job to get you or something."

Idina chuckled again. "That would have been interesting, but I wasn't as cool then as I am now. No one would go through all that trouble way back then."

Unlike Walker, Erika did not tell her she was not cool. She did not say Idina was cool either.

Idina rubbed the girl's back. "I hope you know we are going to do everything we can," she said. "We want you to stay with us as long as it is what you want. And I know that is a lot to wrap your head around. We honestly want what you want, even if it is not what we want most because when it comes down to it, what we really want is you to be happy."

"What if happy's not possible?"

"Oh Erika, sweety," Idina cooed, pulling her into another hug. "It's always possible. It's hard but it is, I promise." She stroked the girl's brown locks.

"I don't think so," she replied.

"Why not?"

"I think I'm broken or something," Erika said softly. Idina waited for her to elaborate, feeling it in the air even though there was a long pause. "I don't, um, feel like that ever. It's like there's a glass wall just stopping me, and I can't do anything about it," she explained. "I'm not a serial killer though."

"No one says you are," Idina comforted. "And I think you're trying to protect yourself from something. You will feel happy one day, I promise. Have a broken any of my promises to you yet?"

"No," she admitted. "Yet."

"And Gerda can help you too. She spent years studying all this stuff. Happy's fleeting anyways, maybe focus on joyful or something else. You are not broken. You just built yourself a safe room and locked yourself inside and you have lost the key. That is not broken, that smart and survivalist. We can help you find the key." Idina suddenly had an idea for a new song. She made a mental note and stored it away, wanting to focus on this moment with her daughter.

"What if I did something stupid like ate it or melted it?"

"If you ate it, it will come out. If you melted it, there's still a mould somewhere from when you made the key."

"I'm not winning this am a?" she asked in defeat.

"No," Idina replied kindly. "Maybe that's a good thing. Lose for once. This is not a battle you have to fight alone. Or at all. Let Aaron and I fight it for you."

"I can't," she said. "I'm scared."

"You want to be in control because you're the only person you can rely on. I get it. I have been there. I have been the person who wanted to do it all alone. It does not have a happy ending. But you are not alone, Erika. You got Aaron and I. We are here for you. You have Gerda Snow and Florence who want what is best for you. You have Walker who is a pain in the ass sometimes, but he has a large heart. Plus, he as ten-year-old cuteness superpowers so people cannot say no to him. So, will you let us fight for you?"

She was silent for a moment. "Last time I did that it ended badly," she said.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Idina asked. "Tell me about her?" Idina knew Erika knew that she knew about Elsa. It was in Erika's files, but the star had never mentioned it before now. She braced herself, waiting for whatever came next.

"No," came the swift but non-malicious reply. "How did the scan go?' she was changing the subject but not ending the conversation.

"Okay, all things considered," Idina admitted. Then she told Erika that she was likely to have permanent brain damage, so if anyone had a broken brain it was her. It was odd, saying it for herself to someone else. It made it more real in a way that it had not been moments ago.

"Maybe a miracle will happen," Erika said.

"If I have any leftover, I'm using them on you," she said. "Brain damage be damned. You're more important."

"I don't think you get to choose."

"Well, I'm going to call up God and complain to his manager," she said. "Maybe then I'll get a discount too," she joked.

"Like in A Winter's Tale, where everyone gets one miracle to use but for someone else and it's usually predetermined?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure what you're talking about," Idina said.

"A book I was reading."

"I figured. Good?'

"Kind of."

"Better than bad," Idina pointed out.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Did I tell you I was recording and Audiobook for Howards End?"

"No."

"I'm not really supposed to say anything, but I did. Not sure why I am, just thought you might find it interesting or cool or something. I am going to have to go on live television and tell everyone why the book's the best thing I have ever read. Do you know what I'm going to say?"

"That even though it was written a hundred years ago It deals with issues that can be easily applied to our current climate and have a complex and modern understanding of socialization and interactions?"

"No. Well, maybe a bit. I was going to say the story is important to me because it is one of the first things my daughter and I connected over. Nothing can beat a story that brings two people together in that way. That is of course if you don't mind me mentioning you."

"Um, well, I uh, haven't thought about it," she stammered, playing with her fingers uncomfortably.

"That's fine," Idina replied. "Remember—"

"I shouldn't be ashamed of being uncomfortable with something."

"Exactly," replied the elder woman with a smile. She rubbed Erika's back again. "That's exactly it. You could come with me too, sit in the back of the studios or something."

"That sounds a bit boring."

"Might be, might not be," she admitted. "Can we revisit it closer to the summer?"

"Sure," Erika replied with a shrug. "May I be left alone now?"

"Yes," Idina said with a bit of a heavy heart. She never wanted to leave. She also knew Erika need space. She kissed the girl's brow and left the room, feeling semi-accomplished in her mission.

She walked past her son's room and paused, wondering if she should go in when she heard Aaron's voice.

"Walk, do you know why your mom doesn't want you on social media," he asked.

"Because she's mean," her boy replied.

"No," Aaron said. "It's because that stuff is up there forever. You have seen the news when someone losses their job because of something they posted when they were a teenager. She does not want that happening to you. And before you say you will not post anything bad, think for a minute, what if you get mad and act irrationally? People will screenshot it and save it to a drive faster than you can delete it. Imagine you're a star NBA player, making more money than anyone in the history of the NBA, living the life and suddenly someone finds a video you posted where you use a slang word that is now considered bad. You're asleep and before you can even argue that you were thirteen when you said it and it was not considered bad, you've been fired and they're trying to take back some of your money and donate it to support agencies. Your mom's famous, so there will be a lot of people looking at you and waiting for you to mess up. You will not be able to mess up and forget about it. Everything you do will be saved."

"That would suck," he said in exasperation.

"Yes, it would. Also, you cannot legally have platforms that are not managed until you are thirteen. So, either way, either your mom or I would have to approve anything and everything you do before it goes up and, knowing your mom, she won't want you to post anything. And if for some reason she did, again because people know who she is, you will get a lot of attention. Good attention and bad. You know how mom gets upset sometimes after a big performance and she hides her phone or asks me to take it away?"

"Yeah."

"It's because there are a lot of people out there who are mad because she's so good and they want to do whatever they can to make her feel bad. They will send her full indexed essays on why she messed up and why she is not as good as she thinks and a whole lot of other nasty things. Here, these are just a few comments from earlier today when she told everyone she was doing better."

There was a pause. "But that's not true!" Walker exclaimed in anger. "Mom's a great mom these people are mean they should get arrested."

"Exactly, but it's the internet. People are mean because they can be. She does not want you waking up every day to people saying mean and hurtful things because they can. It is not fair, nice, or right, but it is what happens when you are in the public eye. You will find it out later in life, but she wants to protect you from it for as long as she can. It is part of why I do not have any social media. I do not want to deal with it, and I am lucky enough that I do not have too. Your mom has too. She has to see the beginning if those notifications and she has to resist the urge to read all of it and sometimes she can't."

"And then she gets really sad."

"Yeah, then she gets really sad. Because we all have little demons telling us that we suck and it's a whole lot easier to believe them and the one person who agrees with them because their voice is louder than the millions of people telling us that we are amazing. She does not want that for you and neither do I. People can be mean; you have seen it at school. They can be a hundred times meaner when they are hidden behind a screen. We just want to protect you as long as we can, Walk."

"But what if I was really careful and I didn't let people comment?" he asked.

"Your mom said you can talk about it when you turn thirteen. I would say spend this time coming with a plan of what you till post and why it is a good idea. I think next year you get the choice to take a media navigations and safety class, so take that. Formulate a good argument. You have time on your side to change her mind, but not by begging her every day and telling her you hate her. Has that ever worked on anything?"

"No," he replied. "It just makes everyone feel bad."

"Exactly. You are so smart, you know that, right? Put it to good use."

"Okay," Walker said after a few minutes. "I'll think about it. You may go now." Walker practically shoved him out if the room onto Idina.

"I promise I wasn't trying to undermine your 'no'," he said to her.

Idina chuckled. "I know, you were just trying to explain it to him. Thank you," she said and hugged him from the side.

"I can feel them kicking form all the way over here," he muttered as the walked to their room to sit down. "Are you good?'

"Not like I can do anything about it," she replied. When they sat down, she recounted her conversation with Erika. There were so many green flags. How open she was, how long it when on. The fact that she did not get mad or blow up. It had to account for something. Absolutely had too.

Her feet were sore and swelling from a day of work and activity. Aaron offered to order in supper tonight so that he could spend the evening pampering her and she did not refuse.

They had a silent supper as a family later in the evening. Walker apologized and Erika was quieter than usual. There were few words exchanged all evening. Everyone had something looming over them. Louie was the only one who could break the tension, demanding attention and giving kisses. Erika and Walker walked him around the block after supper and Idina was just so glad they were getting along. She sent a security guard with them, of course. They had an on-call guard who lived close for such occasions. No one could claim she was irresponsible. His children were doing the tasks any other child might do and still with all the extra safety measures needed by their position.

They knew when their children returned because Louie was up the stairs fast than lighting, still too hyper for a dog who had been out for a half-hour for the second tie today and demanded more attention. They took him outside to play fetch and Idina marvelled at how much the yard had changed since they bought it.

A treehouse, trampoline, and newly completed basketball court marked their new additions. There was a garden Idina had planned out carefully and the pool had finally been fixed with a stone wall around it to keep Louie out. She could not wait until it was warm enough to use it and relieve the pressure on her feet. There were yard chairs and couches and tables as well, including some elaborate decorative metal benches that were surprisingly functional and had served as a backdrop for some of her wedding pictures. This was her home. She was going to rise her twins here. All four of her children.

Walker came out to play just as Louie was starting to tire out, so he took the little Westie up to his room instead. Louie was Walker's dog at night, sleeping on his bed. Then the dog would make his rounds waking people up and demanding attention that they were all too happy to give every morning.

If there was not a court case looming over their head, her life would be perfect.