"I'm going to go," Aaron said. Erika had told Idina not to come, not Aaron.

Idina bid him well as he shuffled out of the booth, giving kisses to the little babies who were looking up at him expectantly as he passed. He looked around for the signs and passed through the sea of tables and chairs.

He was about to enter the washroom when he remembered her could not, so Aaron resigned to knocking on the door.

"Erika?" He said, "It is just me if you want to talk, or sit in silence... I am here."

There was no reply. Was she in there? Was she the only person there?

"Erika?"

He knocked again.

Some women approached him from behind, telling him to back off.

"It's not like that," he said, trying not to come across disingenuous or mad. "My daughter," he said, "she doesn't want her mom, but she's upset, and someone should be there with her." He could not put it all into a linear story. All he knew was his kid needed him, and he was not with her.

"We'll talk to her," one said, still looking skeptical. They elbowed him away from the door towards the couch across the hall.

Aaron stood, pacing, hand on his forehead. Not how this was supposed to go. What would happen now? She cannot run away and hide every time she gets too upset. At some point, she has to get comfortable having big emotions and feeling safe enough to have them around her family.

In his head, Idina calmed him, telling him that she did have some large emotions in front of them, and would seek them out. It was progress. Everything had seemed great for a while, and they had forgotten that there was still work to do.

Worrying was a part of being a parent, Idina always told him that. He was starting to understand that increasingly. Being anxious over his wife and being anxious over their kids were two vastly different scenarios. One was constant, but filled with reassurance and logic, and the anxiousness he - they both - got over the kids was an irrational terror that Aaron was still struggling with. It was so new to him. He understood why Idina shut down sometimes. With everything going on in her life he did not blame her one bit.

The door opened, but it was a stranger exiting.

Deep breaths.

He checked his phone. It had not even been five minutes.

Idina had texted him: You got this!

The door opened again, and it was one of the women he had been talking to, escorting Erika with a hand on each shoulder as she steered her towards her dad.

Erika embraced him with a tight her, saying nothing. Her eyes had been puffy, and she was sniffling but still stiff and rigid against her father

Thank you, Aaron mouthed to the woman as he got his daughter to sit down with him on the couch.

Erika did not cry. She clung to Aaron so tight he could not take a deep breath. So, he held her and kissed her head, saying nothing. She would talk when she was ready. He was confident in that.

"Do you want to talk?"

Her lips rubbed back and forth in an uncertain manner, eyes not meeting his.

"You can't do anything," she said. "I want to go back, I'm sorry for making a scene." Her voice was level, near unemotional, in ways it had been when they had first met.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he said, tilting her chin up so that she was looking at him. "Nothing," he repeated.

After a moment, she nodded, but in agreement or defeat, Aaron was not sure. She hugged him again, tightly.

"I love you, kiddo," he said.

She squeezed him again, her breath hitching, trying to fight another sob.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Shhh," Aaron said, "don't be sorry," he repeated. "I am here. And I am always going to be here."

"We should... probably... go back," she said, pulling away from him, still distraught.

Aaron got her to look at him. "We're going to stay right here until you're good," he said. He watched as she stopped shaking as much, keeping a level gaze with him. "Okay?" She nodded. "Good, so you tell me if you want to go back or go back to the hotel when you are ready. Until then, I am going to sit here with you."

"Okay," she said quietly, leaning against his shoulder. She hugged him, then kissed his cheek.

Aaron tried not to tense up, and to stay calm. My daughter loves me, he thought. I am a good dad. I am a dad.

"I love you," she whispered, and his eyes started to sting "I didn't mean to upset you today, with the card," she rambled on. "Just like Gerda thought I should write it and I liked that idea and um yeah you're like a good dad so yeah." She spoke quickly, barely pausing to breathe. Her heart was still racing from the crying, making it an arduous task. Aaron was not even sure he heard everything correctly.

"You didn't upset me," he reassured. "It made me very happy."

"I want you to be happy."

"You too," he replied.

She sighed. "I'm not right now."

Aaron nodded, even though she was not looking at him. He doubted offering her some ice cream would make it better. It used to be with Walker, until he started to have big problems, like his worry over his mother. Now he gave him some because he did not know what else to do.

"I'm here." That was all she could offer her. Himself, the promise that he would always be here.

They sat in silence,

"Promise?" Erika asked, looking up at her.

"Promise," he replied.

She held her pinkie finger out. "Promise," she said.

He nodded, promising and pinkie swearing. Erika always needed more than words. This was more than words.

"I'm not a bad kid," Erika whispered.

"No, you're not, you're such a delightful daughter," he said. "So smart, helpful, and kind. You are exceedingly kind, even when you are trying not to be. I am so glad you are my kid. And you, specifically. You have so much empathy too, I think, but you do not know it. Bit like Dina, you do not want to see other people hurt."

"I could think of a few people," she muttered.

"We all can," Aaron said.

"I'm not a bad kid," she said again, turning to her father for another embrace. "I want to go back to the hotel."

"Okay," Aaron said softly. "Come, we'll go tell Dina and get your coat."

"I don't want to ruin the dinner," she said, not standing. "I guess I already did."

"No," he said.

"But if we go, then it's over on a bad note and Walker wants dessert and I kind of do too the pictures look really good and everyone's going to be quiet and upset all night and that's not what Idina wanted and it's because of me."

"We still had a good time, and, when you look back, you'll remember all the fun," he said. "It does not have to be all bad because of one thing."

"I don't know, I was just very upset and a bit angry," she said.

Aaron nodded. "And that's okay," he said. "Are you still upset?"

She shook her head. "More sad, and sort of tired."

"Ready to go?" he asked. "I'll take you in the taxi back to the hotel."

~

Walker tried to start a conversation, but he stopped abruptly when Aaron returned, knowing he would upset his big sister more if he started asking her questions, which he wanted to do.

There were things about her that never made sense to him, and he knew it was because she had been an orphan and that was never going to go away, but he wished he could understand it to understand her. If that could exist without anything bad happening to his mom.

And in that thought, he almost felt like he had some sort of understanding because without mommy and Aaron no one would come to his games, bring him to his games, or read him a story when he was sick. And he would not have his mother anymore.

And he would go and live with Aunt Cara, but it would never be the same and Aunt Cara looked a bit like mom and that would make him sad. And if for some reason he could not stay with Aunt Cara or anyone he knew then he would have to stay with people he did not know, and Walker liked that idea even less. They would do everything wrong. What if trying to replace his mom? He would yell at them, that is what he would do if anyone tried to replace his mom.

He got out of the booth so that Erika could sit closer to Idina and Aaron and hugged her before she sat down.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Walker squeezed her midsection tighter.

"They have these huge brownies with ice cream on the dessert menu," he told her. "It is like three different brownies stacked with vanilla ice cream and then the put sprinkles and chocolate sauce and caramel sauce on it. And then whipped cream and cherries on top of that but mom says if we get it, we cannot mess up our clothes."

"Sounds fair," Erika said, and Walker smiled because she sounded like his sister again.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, "for what I said?"

"No," she replied. "You were right anyway."

He nodded, then finally let her go.

Aaron got coats.

"We're leaving?" Walker asked, disappointed. "I want dessert," he said, looking straight at his mother for help.

"I'm going to take Erika back to the hotel, and you can stay with your mom and have dessert."

"Oh," he said, "sorry." He went over and gave Aaron a hug. "Will you come back?" he asked.

"Have to," he said, in the fun-loving tone, "you and Dina need some help getting the triplets back."

"Mhm," Walker replied. "Why are you calling mom Dine now?" he asked.

"I asked him to," Idina said. "I like it more."

"Can you wait until I have ice cream then we can all go right after?" he asked, first looking at Aaron and then at his sister.

"Okay," Erika said quietly. She sat down in the booth, Aaron beside her.