I was fixing up my hair and getting ready to go out. Ethan's mom had invited us over for dinner and I wanted to look my best. Even though I had met her a thousand times before.

"Ethan's mom invited us over for dinner tonight." I said to Elle as I closed my bedroom door behind me.

"Who's 'us'?" Elle asked.

"You and me. Oh, and Jessica. Get dressed." I said.

_____________

I rang the doorbell of Ethan's house and pushed back my hair. I heard some shuffling from inside then the door opened. Ethan's mom, Ms. Connors, was standing in the doorway, smiling.

"Cat! Give me a hug, sweetheart! It's good to see you again!" she said. I hugged her and turned to my family. "Ms. Connors, this is my mom and my aunt. Jessica, Elle, this is Ethan's mom." I said shyly. Why was I being shy?

Ms. Connors shook Elle and Jessica's hands and said, "It's good to finally meet you! Come in, come in!"

"Ethan! I'm here!" I yelled obnoxiously.

"Cat!" I heard, and Ethan ran out of his room and hugged me. Ethan let go of me and blushed.

"Oh, Ms. McLemore, Ms. Wynn. Good evening." Ethan said. I giggled.

"Hi Ethan." Elle said, and Ethan blushed. I started giggling furiously. I regained my composure and said, "So, what's for dinner?"

Ethan smiled at me and said, "My mom made lasagna!" I smiled and Ms. Connors said, "It was my wife's recipe that came with her family from Italy." Elle turned around and pointed to a picture on the mantel.

"Is that her?" Elle asked. Ms. Connors nodded and said, "Yes."

Ethan smiled sadly and said, "I miss her. Even though I barely remember her."

"Oh, Ethan, you know she loved you so much." Ms. Connors said.

"It's a shame I'll never get to meet her." I said.

"She would've loved you too, Catlynn." Ms. Connors said.

"Who doesn't?" Ethan said, and I giggled.

"I know Cat's had her fair share of trauma, too." Ms. Connors said. Ethan pinched his nose and said, "Mom..." but she didn't listen. I tried my best to hold back tears.

"Didn't something happen in August?" Ms. Connors said. I got up and ran to Ethan's room, saying "That's it."

"Cat!" Elle said.

"I've got her. Way to go, Mom. I would think a vet would understand PTSD." Ethan said. Ethan opened the door and I said, "Ethan, just go away."

"No." Ethan said.

"I'm an embarrassment." I said.

"Cat, you couldn't be an embarrassment if you tried." Ethan said, laughing. I stared at him and said, "That's not funny."

"You're right." Ethan said.

"Your mom must hate me." I said.

Ethan sat down beside me and said, "My mom loves you. I'm not going to try to make excuses for her, but she's been kind of insensitive since Mama and her years in service messed her up, too."

"Yeah. I've been kind of selfish too, since the...the crash." I said, choking on my words.

"No." Ethan said.

"I feel so stupid." I said.

"Trauma screws us all up, it's not selfish to need help. It's fight or flight." Ethan said. I started crying and Ethan hugged me.

"I ruined tonight...just like I ruin everything. I get it if you never want to speak to me again. Your mom must not want to speak to me anymore." I said.

"I'm sorry, Cat. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere." Ethan said.

I got up and said, "Your mom literally died. All that happened to me was my aunt, who isn't even related to me, went into a coma for a day. I feel like an idiot." I sat back down on Ethan's bed and he sat beside me.

"Blood isn't what makes family - that's loyalty and love. You're forgetting that my mom isn't related to me, either. Mama carried me." Ethan said.

"I feel so stupid for acting like that." I said.

"I get that it's hard, but, Cat, you don't have to feel stupid. Trauma, PTSD, they literally rewire our minds. It changes the way we think, feel, and react. That doesn't make a person stupid, it makes them a survivor - a warrior." Ethan said.

"Your mom must hate me." I said.

"She probably hates herself. I don't think she could ever hate you." Ethan said.

I sighed and said, "I should go apologize." I wiped my tears and put on a fake smile, then ran out of Ethan's bedroom and hugged Jessica.

"Nope, Cat." Ethan said, grabbing my arm.

"What?" I asked.

"Us Connors don't like fake smiles." Ethan said.

I sighed, and said, "But the McLemores do."

"What?" Elle said, alarmed.

"I'll explain." I said.

"Please do." Jessica said, staring at Elle.

"You guys know how I feel compared to you." I turned to Ethan's mom and said, "I'm sorry, Ms. Connors."

"You have no reason to apologize, Cat. I'm the one who should be sorry. I still have sodas in the fridge and lasagna in the oven. There's no better place to talk through issues than the dinner table." Ms. Connors said, looking at Ethan.

I smiled and held Jessica's hand. "I'm sorry. I feel like such an idiot."

"What for?" Ms. Connors said.

"For being so selfish." I said.

"Being selfish of what?" Elle asked.

I shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry." I said.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Ethan said. Jessica pointed at Ethan and said, "Ethan's right."

"Yeah I do. The crash was nothing compared to what Ethan's been through. I'm selfish and stupid." I said.

"May I remind you that I was three? What you've been through has all happened recently." Ethan said, grabbing my hand.

"Something that all vets learn eventually is that just because another person's trauma and experiences are different, doesn't make yours any less painful." Ms. Connors said.

I sighed and said, "I've been treating the crash like the worst thing in the world...it's almost been two months since it happened and I'm still crying over it. I should be happy...that Jess is alive...but no. I'm just a whiny little idiot."

"It was the worst thing in the world for you. Trauma doesn't just 'go away'. PTSD doesn't just disappear. They take time and love and patience until we can live and not have them bother us as  much. It has been over a decade since I was last on a ship and, Ethan can confirm, I still wake up screaming sometimes." Ms. Connors said.

"But...the crash was nothing. I'm sorry, Jess..." I said, crying. Jessica hugged me and said, "Don't be sorry, Cat. It was scary, I know."

"I feel so stupid!" I yelled, letting go of Jessica.

Ethan pulled out his phone and tapped on it for a few seconds. Music started playing and Ethan held his hand out to me. "Come on." he said.

"I'm not in the mood for cute romantic things. I just wanna go home." I slammed the door, but not before hearing Ethan say, "Well, we screwed up. That usually helps."

No, Ethan, you didn't screw up. I did.

"I ruin everything...I ruined Elle's life...I ruined Jessica's life...I got a boyfriend and I ruined his life...why am I even a part of this family." I said to myself. Elle and Jessica climbed in the car and Elle said, "Let's go home."

I waved at Ethan as we drove away.

AN: Ethan is so cuteeee, I love him. Honestly, if there was anyone like Ethan in my school, I would be lovesick every single minute of the day. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Catch ya later!