"Wake up Bunny, wake up!" I opened my eyes to see my husband sitting up on my hips, his hands on my shoulders.

"Kev, Kevie, oh..." I giggled a little, and kissed him, pushing my hands through his soft hair. He lightly trailed kisses down my neck.

"Merry Christmas, Love." He whispered, burying his head in the crook of my neck. "Do you want to get up?" He asked.

"Not really." I sighed, kissing his head, and snuggling deeper into bed.

"That's fine." He smiled, climbing off of me, and wrapping me in his arms, next to him. "How'd you sleep?" He asked.

"Fine." I smiled, and let my eyes close, just wanting to feel my husband next to me.

We sat like that for a while, until Kevin's 7:00 alarm went off and he stood up and scooped me up with him. I was now sitting with my legs around his waist, and my head resting on his shoulder. "Look!" He laughed a little, "Santa came!" He announced setting me down on our couch.

"Come here." I smiled at him, opening my arms.

"No, Abigail, look! Santa came." He smiled, coming back to the couch with both of our stockings. He handed me mine, and sat next to me, pulling a blanket over the two of us. "Go on. Open it." He instructed, and pecked my cheek.

"Okay okay." I giggled a little, and pulled out a three pair of fuzzy socks.

"You're generally a very cold person, so..." Kevin trailed off a little, trying to explain the gift.

"Thanks." I smiled at him, and pulled myself to snuggle up next to him. "Now you." I prompted.

"Alright." He smiled, pulling out a DVD package I bought him. "These are great, Bunny!" He said. It was a pack of classic Christmas movies, like The Grinch, and Rudolph.

Several stocking stuffer gifts later, Kevin and I were done with presents, and were curled up together.

"I'm sorry we couldn't have a bigger Christmas." He sighed, rubbing my arm, "Santa's not out of college."

"No, it's fine. Kevie, it was wonderful. How about we make muffins, and watch a Christmas movie?" I suggested.

"I'd love that." He helped me unearth myself from the couch, pulling me along to the kitchen.

We spent a little time making muffins, and Kevin was pushing them into our oven. I was cleaning the kitchen counter.

"Rudolph or The Grinch?" I asked, looking through movies.

"The Grinch." My husband said, and I pushed the DVD into the box.

"Okay, come here, come here." I sat on the couch, and smiled at him. He smiled back, and came over to the couch, he scooped me into his lap, and kissed my head. "I love you." I sighed.

"I love you too, Bunny." He gently rubbed my arm, and I snuggled a little into his Santa Clause t-shirt.

•••

Two or three hours after that, Kevin and I were making a gingerbread house together, when we heard the doorknob jiggle a little bit, and a couple of gruff voices behind it.

"Abigail, go into our room, push the dresser against the door, avoid the window." He instructed, lightly pushing me in the general direction of our bedroom.

"Kev, Kev I'm not going." I whispered.

"Yes you are, sweetheart." He countered.

"Kev, its Christmas, they probably just have the wrong apartment." I smiled. "I'll go and tell them they have the wrong address." I started towards the door, but my husband yanked me back.

"Baby please, this is a crappy neighborhood, they're most likely here to rob us, they most likely have guns, I'm not letting you get shot."

"Kevie, gun." I whispered, pointing towards a man holding a gun, standing in the entrance to our kitchen.

"Behind me. Now." He pushed me behind him, keeping his arm out, to protect me.

"Okay, this is simple," the man holding the gun said, "you give me the cash you have on hand, and I mean all of it. Then we can leave, I can buy a doll for my daughter, and you two newlyweds can go back to having a nice Christmas."

"If you just want doll money, I can buy your daughter a doll." Kevin offered, his voice shaking.

"Grab her." He shrugged, and a second man started walking towards me, and my husband pushed me back a little more.

"Okay okay. Money." He sighed, he turned around, kissed my head, then slowly walked away from me. Even so, the second man grasped my wrist, and yanked me over to my own couch. He pushed me down into the couch, and tightly bound my hands.

"Is this necessary?" I asked, holding my arms up a little.

"Mmhm, because if that boyfriend of yours 'forgets' anything, it's easy to motivate him to find it by pushing a gun to your head."

"We only have $169 in cash." Kevin announced, coming back into the room, holding a stack of varying bills. "Why is she tied up?" He asked, looking at me, his voice cracking.

"Thanks." The first of the two men smiled at my husband, and took the money. "Merry Christmas." He said, and both men left the apartment.

"Did he touch you?" Kevin asked, rushing over to me on the couch.

"No, I'm fine." I sighed, watching him untie my arms.

"Okay, come here." He opened his arms for a hug just after he finished untying mine. I scooted over a little, falling into the hug.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen." I whispered.

"No, it's okay, they didn't hurt you." Kevin pointed out, lightly rubbing my back. "I love you, you're safe, that's what matters."

•••

A few hours later, I was holding a large bowl of mashed potatoes, and I was wearing a neat red dress, and a headband. Kevin was in a pair of jeans and a black button down. We were outside my parents apartment, for Christmas dinner.

"Merry Christmas!" My mom exclaimed, opening the door. "Abigail, you know you don't have to knock." She laughed a little, taking my hand, and pulling me inside.

"I don't live here anymore, so..." I shrugged a little, then walked into the kitchen, to set the mashed potatoes down.

"Don't remind us, darling." My mom sighed, "we've missed you, it's been a solid week since we've seen you." She wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm sorry Mom." I smiled at her.

"Peanut!" I spun around to see my dad come into the room.

"Hi Dad." I smiled, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." He wrapped me in a hug, then as he pulled away, saw the red bowl of mashed potatoes on the counter. "Did you make this?" He asked, peeling foil off of it.

"No, Kev did."

"Oh, where is he?" Lin asked.

"Living room, with Seb."

"Well, all the food is ready, so, why don't we eat?" Vanessa offered, looking around the kitchen.

"I'll grab boy." My dad said.

"Can you grab my boy too, Dad?" I asked.

"Your boy?" Kevin asked, coming up behind me in the kitchen. "I take it that's me."

"Mmhm." I smiled.

"You're cute." He wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you." I sighed, turning around and hugging him back.

"ALVAREZ FAMILY WE'RE EATING WITHOUT YOU." I heard my mom call from the dining room. I laughed a little, and pulled my husband into the room.
(T this is straight up something I'd do)

"Wait, Abigail, you changed your last name?" My dad asked, as Kevin and I sat down.

"I hyphened it, you know that." I said, putting my napkin on my lap.

"Which is first? Child what is your full name?" He asked. (T me, oh my god me)

"Abigail Luz Alvarez-Miranda. I put my maiden name second like Mom did." I shrugged.

"What about when you have children? What will their last name be? Please note that I said 'when', I expect at least one grandbaby from the two of you."

"Alvarez." I smiled, looking at Kevin. "But, we haven't really talked about kids yet." I noted, taking a bite of ham.

"Like, you haven't talked about having them?" He asked. "Or you haven't talked about when, but you're definitely having kids. Right?" (T oh my lord jeebus)

"Well, it's just never come up, but-"

"I definitely want kids." Kevin and I said, at the same time.

"Fantastic." My mom smiled. "Do you have a preference on gender?"

"Not really, I'd love a girl, but I have a lot of practice with boys." I smiled a little.

"How?" Sebastian asked, his mouth full.

"Sebster, I babysat you every day for a solid year, and look at you." I looked over at him, he had both ham and mashed potatoes sort of falling out of his mouth, "you didn't die!"
(T oh my lord 😂)

"Sebbie, sweetie, eat one food at a time, with your mouth closed." My mom instructed, wiping his face off.

"Anyways, how was your guys' morning?" My dad asked.

"Fine." I smiled, "well, um, actually, we had a good morning, just-"

"We were robbed." Kevin blurted out.

"Wait what?!" My mom asked, shocked. "What was stolen?"

"Nothing, just, I had to give them $169." He sighed.

"You had to give them?" My dad asked, confused, "why didn't you try an-" he trailed off, when he saw Kevin looking at me sadly. "Okay, we were going to save this for later, but..." he looked at my mom, who nodded, "let's go." He smiled and stood up.

•••

We walked down a few blocks until we got to a different apartment building. We went up to the 47th floor, and my dad started to unlock an apartment.

"Dad, is this? Did you?" I asked, confused. He pushed the door open.

"Okay, so, it's not huge, there's the living room and kitchen." He motioned to the adjoined room, "then the master bedroom." He took my hand and pulled me into a second room.

"Dad..." I trailed off, "Dad, you didn't have to, yo-"

"Shh." He laughed a little, then walked me and the rest of the family into the last room. "And then, well, you said you wanted kids, so, here's my grandbaby's room." He shrugged.

"Dad." I stopped him, "what is this?" I asked.

"It's your house, I pre-paid rent until August,  when your show opens."

"No, Dad no, we're paying you back. Dad no." I groaned.

"You're not paying me back. This is your Christmas present. I'm not letting you live where it's not safe. No matter what, you're my little girl, and I'm always going to do whatever I can to make sure you're safe."

"Daddy..." I trailed off, hugging him.

"Baby." He sighed, stroking my hair gently.

•••

After Christmas with my parents, Kev and I were home again, curled up with cocoa in bed.

"Merry Christmas, Love." He whispered, against my neck. "Merry Merry Christmas." He set his mug on his nightstand, pulling himself on top of me.

"Kev..." I giggled, as he moved his hands to the back of my head. "I love you sweetheart."

"Love you too. I hope Christmas was okay. I wanted to do more for you-"

"Shh," I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. "I loved it."

"I'm glad." He sighed, climbing off of me. "Come here, Love." He pulled me up against his side, kissing my temple.

"You smell like peppermint." I whispered, my head in the crook of his neck.

"Okay." He laughed a little, "I don't know how to respond to that, um, you smell like coconuts and flowers?"

"Oh, um, thank you?" I looked at him oddly.

"It's your shampoo." He explained, smelling my hair.

"Okay sweetheart, it's bedtime."

"Hey, you were the one who said I smelled like peppermint!" He defended himself.

"You do!" I protested.

"And you smell like a tropical island."

"I'm not quite sure that's a compliment, Kev." I laughed.

"I never said it was a compliment." He muttered, and I laughed harder.

"Should I sleep on the couch?" I asked, tauntingly.

"No, my teddy bear, don't leave me." He wrapped me tightly in his arms, and kissed my hair. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kev. Merry Christmas." I whispered, and fell asleep.

•••

Sorry it's so late. Is anyone up?

I have church tomorrow and I also have no friends there... yay?

Actually, I just... I don't really have friends... in general.

It's why I took Abi's friends out of this story, two of them were based off of my best friends and I'm not really in contact with either of them anymore so it's hard to write about them.

I don't know, it's just hard to write about having friends when I really don't. I sorta have people I talk to, but that's it, we just talk to each other... it's not like they come over, and it's not like I can actually tell them anything...

I'm really shy, I just can't make friends anymore...

I don't know what it is about me. I don't think I'm that weird, I'm not unattractive, I know I'm tall which is hell and it makes me feel like a freaking monster, but... I don't know, I just don't have friends, I have people I know, and no one really hates me, I just exist.

I miss being close with someone

I miss being close enough to someone that you can tell them you're having a bad day. Or you can admit that you have depression to, I can't, I don't have anyone I can say this crap to, and I just bottle it all up.

What's wrong with me??

Anyways....

Thanks for reading.

I love you.

- Abi