Lin left to do the show, and Vanessa left to do something, she wouldn't tell me what that was. Right after they left I had to talk with a psychologist. It was really awkward, but he determined that I was in a good enough place, mentally and emotionally, to go home.

(The psychologist says I can go home anytime.)

I texted Lin.

(Awesome! I'll pick you up after the show. Love you.)

I smiled and set my phone down. I looked around the room, crap it was full. I reached over to the table by my bed, and took a card off of it. It was from Oak.

Hey Kid,
I know you've been going through something rough lately, and I'm so sorry that none of us tried to help. You really are a beautiful girl, and we love you so much. Please, please don't leave us. If you ever need a hug, I'm here (and I'm a professional giver of hugs)
Love you,
Oak.

Reading that brought tears to my eyes but I promised myself I wouldn't cry again today. That's all I've been doing. I reached back over to the table and grabbed another card, from Thayne this time. His card was sitting on top of a box of chocolate.

Abi,
When I met you, you were shy, broken, somewhat depressed and scared. You were afraid of what was going on in your life and were truly afraid of the people in it. Even us. As willing as I was to love that girl, I liked the one you became better. I miss her, I miss the one who would steal someone else's cookies and hide with me and eat them. Please, I want her back.
Your brother,
Thayne

Thaynes letter made me laugh, I mean, that did happen, like last week, Gregory brought in cookies, and told Thayne not to touch them, so I snuck in through his stuff, stole the bag, and Thayne and I ate them on the catwalk. I reached onto the table, and grabbed Thaynes chocolate and opened it. There were like 6 missing. Oh gosh I love him.

I slowly made my way through everyone's letters, I mean, all of them struck me, and made a mix of emotions run through my heart. Especially Chris's.

Abigail,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt this way, yeah, but mostly, I'm sorry that nobody knew. You have a wonderful smile. I'm not saying this as some sappy compliment, you have a smile and a presence and a laugh and a personality that brings joy to others. You lift up the people around you, make them feel better. I guess you couldn't see your smile, feel your presence, receive your laughter, or experience your personality, and that's so sad. You really are special, and are such a light into all of our lives, and into the lives of everyone you meet, I'm devastated that the only person you weren't a light to was yourself.
My best guess, is that you gave out so much joy and love into the world, that you forgot you needed to save some for yourself. I realized you never once stopped giving love. So it's our turn to start giving you love.
I can't replicate your smile, or your laugh or personality, but, I will try, we all will try, to make you feel as loved as you make everyone else feel.
Your dad is my brother, so I hope you won't mind this.
Your Uncle,
Chris.

I wasn't ready for that. I really wasn't. I read letter after letter after letter, and every time I wanted to cry, but I didn't, I didn't let myself cry.

I grabbed all of the cards, and put them all in a neat little pile, then did the same with the stuffed animals and the flowers, and brought all the balloons together, when I was done, I crawled back into my tiny hospital bed and grabbed my phone, turning it on for the first time since I texted Lin.

When I turned my phone on, I was hit in the face with texts, I didn't have notifications on for anything but texts, I used to have Twitter and Instagram notifications on, but that just got messy.

(Glad you're awake!)

(Do you feel better now? We love you.)

(About to do the show, dedicating this one to you Kid)

(Praying for you)

(Your dad's going on for Its Quiet Uptown. Be hoping he makes it through.)

That last text kind of killed me. It was from Daveed. I didn't realize that I had an impact like that on Lin. I opened my phone and checked Twitter. Lin posted a picture of me sleeping on him, from earlier. He captioned it, I love her so much. I smiled, and read through the replies. I mean, there were your general "I LOVE YOU!" "Can you promote my..." Things, but if you scrolled past those you saw, "awwwww" and "is she in the hospital?" And "so cute", "is she sick?", "what happened?", "why is she in the hospital?".

Then I saw people quoting his tweet, saying that they hope I feel better, and asking why I was in the hospital.

I found that picture on Instagram as well, mostly people just posted a pic of his tweet, but everyone was being so sweet about it. I mean I found ones that just said, "Lin and his daughter are so cute." That was weird to read, I mean, people really saw me as his daughter, does he see me as his daughter? Or does he still see me as that girl from the grocery store with a bruise on her face? What about the cast? Do they see me as family? Or like, still that awkward girl Lin brought to the theater one night.

After reading through the majority of posts about me, I checked the time, 10:30, the show ended a half hour ago, he should be here any minute. I changed back into my sweats and sweatshirt, that I was wearing when they brought me here, and waited.

I sat waiting on my bed, hugging a giant stuffed dog that Thayne gave me, I named her Cookie. I was sitting there with Cookie, when I finally heard the door open.

"Niñita, are you ready to go?" Lin asked, coming into my room.

"Yeah." I said, smiling. "I mean, if we can get all of this home."

"I'm sure we'll be able to." He said laughing.

•••

We did manage to get everything back to the apartment, and into my room.

"I'll get the flowers put in water tomorrow." Lin said, putting them on my desk. "Now, into bed." He said to me, and I climbed into my own bed, back in my room at home. "Good night Niñita, I love you." He said, turning my light off and leaving my room.

"I love you too." I said, as he shut the door, and almost instantly after, I fell asleep.

•••

Sorry this is late. Guys, did you see Andrew Chappelles snapchat story? Because... He thanked me for the letter I sent him. He held up the letter and said, "I just received a letter from Abi Edwards, thank you so much." And then Carleigh comes in and they both say, "thank you Abi" which is fantastic because I also sent Carleigh a letter and now I'm just like slowly dying and I have the video saved on my phone forever, and this is the best thing to happen to anyone ever.

Thanks for reading!

- Abi