The best news came the other day. I was far enough in my cancer treatment that I was no longer considered an inpatient. I could be at home most of the time and just go to the hospital for outpatient chemotherapy appointments. Sure, every time I went home from the hospital I was exhausted and just wanted to lay in my bed all day, but at least I was laying in my own bed. At home with my mom and my partners and my family.

"Hey Penney, how are you feeling?" Dana asked, coming into my room with a bowl of ice cream. I giggled and sat up, resting a napkin on my lap.

"I'm tired, but I'm really happy to be home." I said with a big smile.

"I'm happy you're home too, Penney. The apartment felt really empty without you there. It got so bad at some points that I stayed in a hotel for about two weeks, it just hurt being home without you there and not knowing if you were okay."

I smiled and gave Dana the tightest hug I could ever give her. "Mom, it's okay. Yes, I know I'm not home free yet, but from the looks of things, I will be soon. It's like you always say to me, don't lose hope because everything's going to be okay."

My mom seemed to get the message and smiled softly. "Well, um, I'll just leave you be for a while. Do you want to come into work with me later? I'm sure everyone would love to see you, they all missed you."

I smiled, happy I would be able to see my family again. But as soon as Dana turned around and started to leave the room, I grabbed her arm.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can you stay? Please? I feel like I haven't been able to spend time with you in forever, plus I don't want to be alone in a room again. It hurts too much."

Dana smiled and hugged me tightly. "Of course, baby. I missed you too, you know. It was agonizing not being able to talk to you or give you a hug or hold your hand, it made the pain of having my little girl so sick ten times harder."

I smiled sadly and snuggled further into my mom's embrace. Neither of us said it, but Dana and I both wanted to spend as much time together as we could. Because at this point, anything could happen. The cancer could spread further and I'd be right back where I started.. or worse.

But after months of the pain and trauma I've been through, I've learned it's best to shove the fears to the back of my mind and take in all the positives I have.

And that's exactly what I'm planning on doing, what I'm doing now. Instead of worrying about the future and focusing on the terrifying "what-ifs," I'm going to focus on spending time with my family and friends, cause days like this have been months in the making.

"Hey, Penney?" Dana said, snapping me back to reality. 

"Yeah, Mom?" I asked with a sweet smile.

"I'm glad you're here, baby. I'm so glad you're alive."