"Valerie! Earth to Valerie!" I heard. Lincoln was waving a hand in front of my face in the hallway.

"Huh? What?" I said, snapping out of my daze. 

"I know that look. Valerie's in love!" Lincoln said. "Who with?"

I was puzzled. I wasn't in love with anyone. Sure, there were some cute boys in my grade, but they wouldn't notice or want to hang around the nerdy new girl. And I didn't have a textbook "crush" on any of them.

"Now come on, lovebird. Cast list is up. Let's go." Lincoln dragged me down the hall to a bulletin board. 

"Let's take a look...Valerie...Valerie...Valerie...wait. Val...you got the lead." Lincoln said. My jaw dropped in awe. I couldn't believe it.

"You're joking. You have to be joking me." I said, pushing Lincoln aside to see the cast list. Sure enough, the first name on the list was mine.

Amelia Jones- Valerie Salazar.

And with the correct last name as well. I could not stop smiling.

"Whatcha smiling about, Valerie?" I heard, and Luna ran up to me and threw her arm around me. I smiled awkwardly, nervously twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. 

"W-what role did you get, Luna?" I asked. Why was I being so awkward around my best friend? Luna looked at the cast list then excitedly squealed. "I got Earhart!" Lincoln smiled and clapped and then said, "Val, me and you are brother and sister. I told you!"

I smiled, but I was more excited that Luna got Earhart. 

"Why so smiley, Val?" Luna asked, and I started cracking up, sounding like a goat on caffeine. I don't have one of those cute or attractive laughs like some people have. I felt myself start to sweat and felt my heart beating faster.

"So I was right. Val does have a crush. Come on, Val. Admit it. You like someone." Lincoln said.

"Valerie has a crush?" Luna asked. "Spill the tea, sis." 

"I don't have a crush, okay? Stop bugging me about it, geez." I said, still awkwardly chuckling. 

"You're blushing, you're sweating, you're laughing out of nowhere, you're playing with your hair. Val, you're in love. Don't try to convince me otherwise." Lincoln said. I smiled, then thought about what he said.

I was in love. Lincoln was right. 

But not with Lincoln. With Luna. 

Wasn't it unnatural to like girls? At least that's what Penelope drilled in my head. And even then, I knew for a fact I wasn't gay. I've had crushes on boys before. 

"Gotta go. My dad's waiting." I said, shooting finger guns at Lincoln and Luna. I ran out of the school, my face red as a fire engine. I felt like I was about to cry. I took one last look at my school and practically threw myself in the front seat of George's car. 

"Woah, Val! What's the rush?" George asked. I was not in the mood to talk. I felt so embarrassed for what I did. 

"Well, I got the lead in the school play." I said. That was all I was willing to say. I felt like an idiot. 

"Congratulations, Val!" George said. I just simply smiled. That was all I could manage to do right now.

"Val-Val? What's wrong, sweet pea?" George asked, noticing my expression. 

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. What's wrong with you?" I asked, stumbling over my words. I took a deep breath and tried not to feel so awkward and embarrassed. 

"Seriously, Val, something's up. You can tell me anything." George said.

"Listen, I have a lot on my plate right now, okay?" I yelled as George pulled into the apartment. I ran in and slammed the door of my room, not wanting to talk to anyone at all. 

It finally hit me. I had a crush on Luna Marie Nelson. My best friend. And no one knew but me. And I wasn't planning on telling people anytime soon. That's for sure. I wasn't even sure why I had a crush on her in the first place. I definitely wasn't gay. 

I looked around my room, with the galaxy wallpaper and the Be More Chill poster and the Polaroid pictures hung from a clothesline. I started crying hysterically. Why was I such an idiot?

I heard some knocks on the door, but I yelled "Go away!" to every single one of them. All I wanted was to be alone, alone with my thoughts. 

I sighed and pulled out Froggy. My most prized possession. I hugged him close and cried. 

Why was growing up so hard? I didn't know where to turn or who to talk to. I decided to take my mind off of it by reading the script. I immediately slammed it shut once I read the kissing scene.

Why was I imagining Luna as Simon? Oh God, I really do have a crush on her. Why was I imagining myself...kissing Luna? 

I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my phone and opened up Google. 

"How to tell if you have a crush on someone." I said, frantically typing. I clicked on the first result and was interrupted by George yelling "Valerie! I have to go to the theater! Wanna come?" I grabbed my stuffed frog and headed to the car.

____________

I was sitting backstage, daydreaming and avoiding conversation with virtually everyone. Even Gerard, even though this was his first show since the incident. I was on the Internet, looking up everything.

After extensive research, I found out there were more identities besides just simply straight and gay. And I fell into one of those, I think. I liked boys, but I apparently also liked girls. Well, I could like everyone. 

Pan. That felt right. I smiled, and it hit me. I was pan. 

I daydreamed for a bit, but was interrupted by screaming. Gerard, George, and Will ran in, Will picking me up and spinning me around.

"Put me down." I said, hitting Will on the head with my frog. Will laughed and ran down the hallway with me in his arms. 

"You two coming?" Will said to Gerard and George. I looked behind me and was horrified.

Gerard has my phone.

"Give that back!" I said. Gerard seemed to think it was a joke and held it out of my reach and ran away. I chased after him and found him scrolling through my phone. 

"George! Can you come here for a second?" Gerard asked. 

"What's all the commotion?" Stephanie asked.

"Gerard stole my phone and he's swiping through it and I've told him like fifty times to stop." I said. Stephanie sighed and said, "Give Val her phone back."

"Stephanie. This is serious." Gerard said. Then it hit me.

He found my search history. 

I sighed and headed back to where I was sitting. I looked over at Stephanie, Will, Gerard, and George gathered, talking.

After a few minutes George came back and said, "Valerie, we need to talk."

AN: Yes everyone, Valuna is now a ship. Not as good as Catilda, though. Oops, wrong book. Hope you enjoyed! Catch ya later!