(Okay so um this chapter is triggering and please read with caution)

Jordan's point of view

I sat on the couch with a fuming Ashton in front of me and a smirking Vivian. Timothy was sitting beside me since he was going to stay over a little bit longer and Chelsea was on my other side, an ice pack to her head since she had hit it against the wall while fighting with Vivian.

"I want to know exactly what the fuck happened and why my baby has a busted lip, bruised jaw and side, and a bloody nose." Ashton said as he grabbed Vivian by the waist. "And why she tells me my daughter attacked her after she did nothing to her.

"Oh hell no," I shouted as I stood up. Timothy sat me back down and I glared at Vivian. "You did nothing? You slapped me which caused this cut along my cheek. You made fun of my friends, calling them faggots, and you made fun of my boyfriend. Oh, and you made fun of me." I said angrily.

"You have a boyfriend?" Michael asked from beside Chelsea. "Who is he? Is he treating you okay? Do I have to kill someone? Jordan, how long have you been dating him?"

"Um, hello." Timothy said and leaned over to look at Michael. "I'm the boyfriend and I swear on my mother's life I'm not hurting her." He told him and Ashton narrowed his eyes at me.

"This boyfriend thing will be discussed later on, right now, I want to know why my princess is hurt." Ashton said strictly while looking at me and Chelsea.

"You may not care for this girl as much as your girlfriend, but Jordan is literally one of the best things in my life right now. If you think I'm going to let that bitch talk shit about her and her friends, you are highly mistaken." Chelsea said and I leaned my head on her shoulder. "They do not deserve it, especially Christian and James."

"The faggot couple."

"Stop calling them that!" I yelled at Vivian. "Stop using that word!" I told her and she just rose an eyebrow at me.

"Make me."

"Oh, I will." I said and began walking to her but Timothy held me back. "I've punched many people and don't think because you're dating my.... guardian, I won't punch you."

"Jordan, please calm down. It's not worth it. She's not worth it. Just let her say what she wants. James and Christian don't care, you shouldn't either." Timothy told me as he stood up and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's not just about them." I said lowly. "My sister is lesbian and everyone would make fun of her until she broke down. I will not allow anyone else to tear someone down like that for something they cannot help."

"Your sister isn't here sweetheart, sorry to inform you. She left you, just like your parents." Vivian said taunting, causing teara to form in my eyes. "They didn't care for you, they didn't love you. That's why you were in an adoption center in the first place."

"Ashton! You can't just let her talk to Jordan that way!" Michael said and stood up. He came over to me and hugged me. "She's your daughter."

"She was a publicity stunt Michael, and you know it." Ashton started and tears began to fall. He really didn't care about me. He just saw me as a publicity stunt.

"Well fuck you too then Ashton." I said and ran. I ran away from them all and went up to my room. I grabbed my backpack and went straight to my bathroom. I ripped my backpack open as soon as I was in her and then slammed the door shut, forgetting to lock it.

I grabbed my pencil sharpener and threw it against the bathroom wall, shattering it. I grabbed the razor that popped out and looked at it as I pressed my back against the side of the bathtub. I had never done this before, but I always ended up right here. Debating it. Staring at the blade and wondering, will it even help?

I heard it does help. I heard it takes away the pain. I heard it's an escape, and that's what I need. I need to take the pain away. I need an escape.

I was a mistake to everyone, an extra weight on their shoulders. Ashton didn't even want me. He was forced to adopt a child because he was the eldest and wanted the band to seem responisble.

Just like my other foster parents and biological parents, he didn't love me. He hated me. He didn't want me here. He wanted me gone.

"Emo freak," I muttered as I placed the blade against my wrist. I pressed just slightly, not enough to break skin. "Bitch." I said as I slashed it.

It stung and I bit my lip at the pain, but I.... enjoyed it? It made me forget about the pain in my chest for a few seconds. I pressed the blade under the first cut and then eyed how the first one beaded out blood. "Publicity stunt." I said and did the same thing.

"No! That's my girlfriend in there and you're the reason she's in there! Let me get her out!" Timothy yelled to who I assumed was Ashton. "I don't care if you adopted her, I'm going to be the one to go in there and talk to her. You've done enough damage."

I sniffled as I heard them argue and looked down at my wrist. I pressed it down under the second one and slid it across again, biting back a cry. I deserved this. I was just bothering everyone.

"Princess, open the door please. It's just me, I'm not going to hurt you, you know that." Timothy said, knocking on the bedroom door. "Please, if you don't open it, I'll have Michael break this door down."

"Jordan!" Timothy yelled after a moment of silence. "Get out of your bathroom and open this door please. I need to know you're okay princess." He said and I shook my head.

I was never okay.

I looked down and saw the blood run out of the three cuts. It was dripping down my arm and I didn't even try to wipe them away. I felt a bit calm as I watched the blood drip down. Is this why people do this? To feel like this? Calm, relaxed, and as if they aren't hurting in their chest?

As if all their worries and problems are leaving as the blood drips down?

I heard a thump and I looked up. Nothing. I placed my wrist on my lap and looked at the blade in my fingers. I heard a twisting of a doorknob and I snapped my attention up again.

I didn't lock the door.

It was too layte to wipe it all away. By the time the door open, I would have just been standing up. Timothy looked at me and he ran to my side. He ripped the blade from my fingers and threw it right into the toilet, flushing it down.

He cradled me in his arms and I cried into his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I said and he kissed my head. "It's just, it hurts." I said, not making any sense to them,

"What hurts baby girl?" I heard Michael's voice. Someone grabbed my bloody wrist and pressed a wet cloth on it, wiping away the blood carefully. I didn't know who because my eyes were closed. "Tell us."

"My head and my heart." I said and sniffled. "I'm tired of everything. I'm never needed and-and I'm always just a huge burden." I said and buried my head in Timothy's neck.

"She-She did this because of me?"

"Yes you fucking imbecile! If you would have just told her you loved her a little bit more and showed her she's more than a publicity stunt, we could have prevented this! But no! You have to choose the bitch's side over Jordan's! You have to remind her why she's here and basically tell her you don't care about her!" Chelsea screamed and I cried harder.

"Shh, it's going to be okay Jordan, I promise." Timothy said as he ran a hand through my hair. "You are needed. You're our everything, especially mine and Chelsea's. We need you. We love you."

"You don't."

"We do." Michael said and I felt bandages being put on me. "We do love you JJ, and even though Ashton doesn't show it, he does too." He told me and I sniffled.

"How about after this we turn on some Pierce The Veil and cuddle? Does thay sound good Jordan?" Timothy asked me and I nodded.

"Calum and Luke will be home soon Jordan, do you want them to pick anything up for you before they come home?" Michael asked me.

"Tell them to grab some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, she loves that." Timothy said and I nodded. Michael said okay and then he kissed my head.

"I'll tell them right now, you two go on. I'll take the others out since I don't think you want to see them at the moment." He said and I nodded.

"Okay you two, get out and let the couple talk. They have things to discuss and things to do. Leave them be. And no they won't be fucking, shut the fuck up Ashton." Michael said and I felt Timothy lift me up.

He turned off the bathroom light and then soon, I was being placed in my bed. "What song?" He asked me and I shrugged. "I'll just put on the 'Collide With The Sky' album, I know that's your favorite." He told me and I nodded.

Soon, 'Hold On Til May' began playing and he got into bed with me. I wrapped my arm around him and he tangled our legs together. Timothy played with my hair and I nuzzled my face into his chest.

"You know how I made a promise to you last night?" He asked me and I nodded. "Well, I need you to make a promise to me right now."

"What is it?" I askes him and looked at him. His eyes were watery and it hurt me. I hated seeing him about to cry. I also hated knowing it was my fault.

"Promise me if you ever feel like hurting yourself in anyway or as if you're going to break down, you'll talk to me. I can't stand to see you like that. I was about ready to die as soon as I saw you with that razor blade in your fingers." He told me.

"I-I don't want to annoy you with my problems Timmy." I said and he shook his head. "That's too much." I told him.

"No, it's not." He told me. "I hate seeing you upset and knowing it's too late to stop you from doing something. Please JJ, promise me you'll talk to me." He told me and I looked into his eyes.

"I promise." I told him and he smiled. He pressed a kiss to my lips and I kissed him back. We pulled away after a second and I gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm cold now." I told him and he chuckled.

"My sweater or yours?"

"Is that even a question?" I asked and he laughed. He shook his head and pulled away. He went to my closet and then came back with his grey hoodie. He threw it to me and I put it on.

"Come here," I said and he nodded. He laid back down and I hummed as he wrapped his arm around me tightly. He placed his chin on the top of my head and I smiled to myself. It still hurt but I was over it.

"Did any of the guys give you that talk? The boyfriend talk?" I asked and he shook his head. "You'll be getting it soon, I can tell you that."

"I'm not very excited for it," he said and I laughed. "But I am for tomorrow, we have a project and I get to be Mr. Luke Hemmings." He said and I chuckled.

"Tomorrow will be a lot of fun," I said and he agreed. "But the talent show seems like it's more fun, even if the boys might not be able to make it."

"When do they leave?" He asked me and I chewed on my bottom lip. "A few days huh?" I nodded and he sighed. "You can always stay with me and my parents."

"I can't, I'm probably stuck with barbie for the whole tour." I said. "I don't want to be here with her all alone." I said and he rubbed my back.

"You won't be all alone, you have me and the other boys. We won't let you be here all alone with her. I might be here more than the others though." He told me amd I chuckled.

"You're the best Timmy."