Dedicated to Shii-sama

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"Alright kids, we're here!" Minori Shizuno exclaims, parking her dark blue Honda. She chuckles as she hears sounds of cheering and proceeds to help little Paul get out of his seat, unlocking the seat belt.

"Now, I don't want you all to steal bacon or money like last time okayyyyy?" The single mother prolongs, seething out a warning bossy tone out of her lips.

"Yes mom!"

"So sorry!"

The raven haired adult just smiles and tells them that it was okay as they step out of their car and into the mall.

Four children giggles happily, running around or walking close by with their mother as they stride their way around, all active and energized.

They head over to the department store, into the clothes section. Minori has to buy some outfits for another family reunion with her sister and father, her children would love to meet their cousin again.

"My, my! Aren't they adorable??" A woman clerk exclaims, whispering over to Minori and fussing around her children who are busy putting on female clothes on Paul who was posing like he was a supermodel.

"Ehehe, yes, those are my children." Minori points out, gazes at them for a while, hanging on to a child sized denim blue gown with silver shimmers. Aina has too much blue outfits.

"Where's their father, if I may ask?" The clerk asks so freely, Minori pauses, if one looks at her closely, her hands tightly clenched the fabric out of anger?

The customer turns to the clerk with a smile. "I'm a single mother." She answers as the clerk gasps a bit and apologizes for her behavior and leaves.

"Mom! Mom!" Shii bounces her way to Minori, her white hair shining against the fluorescent lights. "Yes, Shii?" Minori bents down as much as she can with her pencil skirt, bending down to Shii's height and pats on her head.

"I um...I wanna buy this..." She stutters, showing the item of choice hidden behind her back. It was a red plain scarf.

Minori blinks for a while, she knows how much Shii loves wearing scarves, the young child even draws herself wearing a scarf. So she smiles and nods.

The albino kid exclaims a "Yay~!" and bounces around as Minori finishes her shopping hunt and pays for her items.

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"Mama, Norami-chii said that she and her mom are gonna come today." Second eldest child Aina announces with a soft voice, calling out to her beloved mother in her study.

The mentioned mother turns from her computer, a drawing tab on her lap and her hair tied messily, supposedly into a bun.

"Oh, yes...Yuki informed me that a few minutes ago." She smiles tiredly, tucking a hair strand behind her ear while holding on the drawing tablet pencil.

"Mama, are you okay? How about you go freshen up, your hair is quite a mess!" Aina exclaims, trying not to be disgusted at the display. The mother chuckles and cleans up her desk quickly.

"Yes, yes okay Aina, you all also prepare now..." She drones out with a smile and Aina leaves...not before she raises a brow at her mother, feeling fishy about something.

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"YAY NORAMI IS GONNA BE HERE!" Shii bounces around, her red scarf waving around as she spin happily. The four kids in their teenager years are currently waiting outside at their porch for their relatives.

"You sure are excited about cousin Norami and Auntie Yuki arriving." Chelsea mentions, hugging her penguin stuffed toy as she sits on the couch.

"Of course I am, me and Normai are gonna play Persona and cuddle each other and hug each other—uwaahahhhh NORAMI LOVE MEEEEEEE!!!" Shii cries to the sky, fake sobbing as her siblings laugh at her antics that never really gets old.

Minori finally joins her family, smiling brightly after taking a beautiful bubble bath. "I see their car." She mentions, looking at the far west side of their neighborhood.

"OMG OMGOMG OMGOMGOMG yeeeyyy~" Shii cheers, Minori gives her this laughing look she always has.

Paul and Aina exchanges an all-knowing glance at the background, something fishy is going on here.

Yuki emerges, along with Norami from the passenger seat from their parked limousine and the two mothers hug tenderly at the middle of the autumn like yard. "It's good to see you again, sis!" Minori laughs, hugging her tightly. Yuki pats her hair while smiling softly. "Miss you two sis."

Norami waves at her cousins while hugging the squealing Shii awkwardly, she was never used to Shii's lesbo love for her.

The seven people then walks inside to the Shizuno household.

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Shii was one of the most-treasured children of Minori Shizuno of course. The mother embraces her flaws and happiness, she tries her best to always be there for her...thus feeling guilty when she fails to do this.

Minori didn't really stop Shii from exploring the world, even when she knows dirty minded stuff and apologized to Minori for the sudden outburst of sexual jokes and bad words one time. The mother laughed at this and said "I've known yaoi younger than you."

Her relationship with her daughter was like any other mother and daughter relationship. Shii and Minori shared the same interests, laughed at sexual jokes and made bonding moments through drawing and watching anime and movies.

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Minori sighs as her fingers went through Norami's messy yet untangling forest green hair while the teen tries not to be angry about it while she plays with her phone.

All of the occupants of the house were in their large living room. Aina, Paul and Chelsea were playing Little Big Planet at the flat screen TV while Yuki and Shii were chatting idly at another couch.

Minori sighs yet again, lower than she usually sighs. "Hey uh Auntie are you okay?" Norami asks, pausing her Pewdiepie game. "Y-yes, I'm fine!" Minori forces up a smile, she was lying...a bit...she's fine, she tells herself.

"Say Norami, isn't your birthday just around two weeks from now huh~?" Minori gleefully exclaims, poking Norami's cheeks. "Yeah auntie but Shii's is coming first—after Grandpa's of course."

Minori hums, now focusing on the TV screen while side-glancing at her sister and Shii who are laughing at an inside joke they both share.

The young lady eyes the red scarf that Shii has grown with ever since.

Scarf huh...

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It's been a busy week. Minori had commissions, collaborations, projects and clients' artworks finished, good thing she has the Friday to work on a special gift.

She readies a ball of yarn, putting it on a bowl. She then goes to her huge closet, its contents filled with arts and crafts that she saved, forgotten or just misplaced.

Minori pulls out a dusty old box, brushing her hands to wipe the dust away. She opens it, seeing untouched long knitting needles.

Pulling them out, she sits down on her desk, earphones plugged in and starts knitting.

One thing knows for sure, she hasn't been knitting ever since she was a child and her child days of knitting was a total failure. Either way, she watched a couple of online tutorials so she's going to be fine.

Minori takes a deep breath and began to cast on.

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Minori was in distraught.

Her hands were stressed out for whenever she tries to straighten or stretch them, it always hurts.

Her head was spinning, she was a fool to not realize that she accidentally add too many stitches so they still have the same length but the width changed.

She grunts, clutched her head angrily. Minori pulls on the tied stiched yarn, undoing her supposedly scarf and redoign it again.

By that time it was already 6 PM, Paul enters her study to see his mother in distraught and tries to comfort herbut she pushed him away by saying that she's fine. The boy was frowning to himself, he felt like there was somethign missing, somethign that he can't decipher.

Minori, meanwhile, was devoted to finish the scarf.

She would do it.

For her.

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Saturday, two more days.

Minori failed again, it's neither that she got tired of knitting or she hates to see that the knitting procress is slow, as if she didn't make progress.

Yuki and Norami visited again.

Minori had to stop the knitting project, her hands were wounded and her heart ached from deep thoughts. She wanted to talk to Yuki about this but...she knows what her sister is going to say but in the same time she doesn't and she's scared.

Her children notices a change in their mother's mood and constantly asks the woman if she's fine, Minori smiles at this, still happy that her children still cares for her as much as she cares for them. But it didn't stop her thinkig that she will be forgotten...especially a certain one.

She lowers her once again redoing of the knitting. Negative thoughts enters her brain, her heart heavies and tears begin to swell around her eyelids.

Aina was bing strict around her which isn't really rude or unusual of her, she's the motherly type too. She gently commands her mom to sleep early this time which Minori quickly obeys, not allowing to see herself crying and blinking so rapidly.

That night, she cries to sleep.

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Sunday, tomorrow's the big day.

Minori is stressed but didn't show it to her children.

She wanted to give up but the pictures of her floods her thoughts. She wanted to cry. She feels childish but she didn't care. Minori mumbles a sorry and begins to knit again.

"I'm sorry for everything."

"I know you dislike me."

"I love you..."

"..."

"...You know that r-right?"

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Shii wakes up groggily, rubbing her eyes and stretched--

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHII~!!!" Her siblings screm happily, popping out from their hiding place which was the foot of her bed.

"What the fuck---oh thank y-you!" Shii screams but then lowers it when she calmed down. "As a token of appreciation, being an awesome sibling and best friend, as my fabulous chick, I will shower you with bacon!" Paul has this smug smirk as he LITERALLY throws --he refers to thsis term as "sparkles"-- her with greasy bacon.

"Ugh ewwww Paul--" She pauses to take a bacon to the mouth and chews on it. "Mmmm okay its not that bad!"

Chelsea pauses her laughing with her sisters and brother to look at the door, as if waiting for someone to open it.

"Hey guys, isn't mom supposed to be here too?"

"Oh yeah..." Aina echoes. They stand (for Shii, sit) there for a few moments, their mother was known for suprises for birthdays, they guess. her gifts were always special, creative and brought special warmth to their hearts.

Shii feels sad all of the sudden.

She hopes that her mom didn't forget her birthday.

The children decided to go to their mother's study, worried that she might be sleep derived again or worse, she got sick and secluded herself in her study. Many possibilities came to their heads but they shouldn't be overthinking.

They finally reached the double doors of her study, Shii takes lead in opening them slowly, making a creaking sound.

Poking their heads in the spacious room, they found Mama Minori sleeping on her desk. A well knitted violet red scarf folded properly was also there.

"Mom..." Aina was the first one to run over and check on her mother, telling the others that she was just sleeping.

The three lets out their breath that they didn't know they held. Shii was suddenly interested at the scarf, looking closer to see a folded note tucked between holds of the scarf.

To my beloved daughter Shii

The aforementioned girl raises a brow, she has come to the conclusion that this was a gift from her mother.

She eyes her red scarf around her neck that she quickly put on when she left the bedroom before taking the note and opening it to read it.

Her siblings were close by, looking at Shii and glancing at their sleeping mother.

"Dear Shii,

If you are reading this, this means you have found me in my study sleeping and the scarf ready for wearing.

Shii, I am so happy for you. I love everything about you and you know that. I miss the times we used to bond together, I miss us being Homestuck fans, I miss our talks. I miss everything we used to have.

...I can't even remember if there was even "everything we used to have", I must've forgotten because I'm growing old or just...lost it through the seas of misery and loss of love.

You and Yuki together reminds me of us. I'm not jealous, I know you hate me...

Suddenly Shii's mind wanders to a memory, a fight recently ended with a smash of the door. Uncle Dex and Yuki just left the household, Grandfather Kuru was silent on the couch and Minori ran off to the study, crying.

The children were left in the living room, shocked and in sorrow. Aina was upset about being positive in the wrong time and Shii was stunned, confused and sad. At least, Paul and Chelsea weren't here to see the horrible scene.

The next day, Shii was asked to see Minori in her study then she was this question:

"Shii...rate me how much you hate me..please..." Minori begged, not even looking at her daughter from her seat.

"I...don't hate you...I dislike you...and I rated it 9..."

I know my actions are rash, sometimes I just wish to be a puppet and let others control me so I don't have to worry about myself doing the wrong thing...But I am getting off topic here.

I know I am not the perfect mother, I know I can't be there for you all the time, I know I can't be that person who can give you the happiest of memories, I know I can't be the person to laugh with...share bonds with you...unlike Yuki.

I am not jealous, don't think of it please.

I love you Shii, I know you are dealing with many things and you just want to end it all. I know you haven't moved on...yet. From this point, I don't know what I am writing but...I keep on telling myself that I love you which is true

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Do you still love me?

Shii's relationship with her mother wasn't as close as before. Shii doesn't talk much around her mother anymore. Minori tries to make a conversation with her but all the memories of her disliking her mother and the thought of her actions being rash makes her stop.

Shii didn't see anything difference, she just felt...like Yuki is good to talk about. Their topic was about webtoons all the time, she enjoyed those talks and jokes.

Do you still know me?

There were times that Minori wanted to hug Shii, a goodnight hug and or kiss to the forehead, a wave of hi or goodbye.

Those times were gone.

Do you still know I am your mother? Your best friend?

It's neither that the children and their mother were busy with school and work or Shii was lost in her own world through music or sleepy and grumpy.

This scarf was a struggle, the length of it is just how long our relationship is wavering into pieces. I wanted to show you how much I have my work devoted for you. My love for you is also as long the length.

I am sorry for everything I've done that hurt you.

I thank you for existing,  I was happy that you were born into my life.

Happy Birthday.

Love, Mom.

Shii was trying so hard not to cry this time. She gently puts away the note on the desk and takes the scarf to her hands, opening the folds to see the Homestuck Heart aspect as the design.

The Heart aspect meant so much to Shii.

Love, Mom.

She hugs the scarf to her chest and begins to cry harder. Her siblings were suddenly all around her, hugging her tightly and whispering "It's okays".

Shii could hear a distant sound of creaking and a new set of footsteps a larger shadow looms over the children as mother's tender arms wraps around them.

The albino child looks up to her mother, her siblings were suddenly gone. Just her and her mother.

Minori smiles, eyebags and poofy red eyes forming through her glasses. Her hands suddenly grabs on the scarf gently, Shii noticed bandages and scratches swelling.

She worked too much.

Mother then wraps the scarf around her daughter. Shii looks down at it, it was beautiful. Minori slowly hugs her again, warmth fills Shii's heart as she hesitantly returns the hug and cries light.

I love you too, Mom.

THE END.

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A/N:

FOR SHII: I am sorry for the crappy message, I'll fix it irl if I can...

I love you, my best friend, my moirail and my daughter :)

Based in real life events.

-MapleMochi