[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[LUKE]
The gods are real
Like the Greek gods

[ANNABETH]
Like the ones you learned about
But weren't paying attention to

[LUKE AND ANNABETH]
Well, they don't pay attention to you, either

[ALL]
Especially if you're their kid

[GROVER]
The gods have godly things to do

[GROVER AND SILENA]
Godly places they need to see

[CLARISSE]
Godly plans they need to make
That don't include
Me

[ALL]
Yeah, the Gods are real
And they have kids
And those kids have
Issues
Issues

[BOYS]
Daddy doesn't love me
And mommy is a god

[GIRLS]
Mommy can't protect me
And daddy is a god

[ALL]
Mommy is too busy
And daddy is too busy
busy, busy, busy, busy being a god
Yeah

You never listen to me
You never listen
You never listen to me
You never listen, oh
You never listen but
Now, you're gonna listen

'Cause it's time you heard our side of the story
It's time you heard our story

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Look!

(Sung)
I didn't wanna be a half-blood
I didn't ask to be a hero seeking praise

Being a half-blood, it's scary
It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways

I didn't want to cause trouble, trouble
I'm less a player and more the played

And, honestly, I'd be totally be fine
If I could make it to the next grade, next grade

It wasn't dirty socks or my stepdad
It was danger that I smelled

The day it all went down
The day I got expelled

(Spoken)
Maybe you don't know what a half-blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger, but my life...? [hums] Let me set the scene

(Sung)
We were on this freaky field trip

[ENSEMBLE]
Freaky trip
That's when this story should probably start

[ALL]
We were geeking out on ancient Greek
At the New York Metropolitan Museum Of Art

[PERCY]
We stopped by all the statues
And learned about the gods
With Mr. Brunner and my substitute, Mrs. Dodds

Hadn't done nothing wrong
Wasn't rude
Hadn't rebelled ( Admin : Personally my favorite line. XD )

[ALL]
On the day it all went down

[PERCY]
The day I got expelled

[MR. BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky! But even they were children once. And they didn't have it easy! Their father, Kronos, feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth. So what did he do?
Anyone? Anyone?

[MRS. DODDS]
(Spoken)
He ate them!

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
Ah... thank you Mrs. Dodds.

But! one child, Zeus, escaped and devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters! He tricked Kronos into eating a rock. And what did Kronos do?
Anyone? Any student?

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
He vomited them up!

[PERCY]
I didn't really get the story
At least it wasn't boring as I'd feared
But is it me, or is Greek mythology
Not deeply weird?
I didn't want to pay attention
([ENSEMBLE]: Pay attention! Pay attention!)
Now I wish I had taken notes
But my focus is in question
And gods and indigestion caused a groan from all our throats

[ENSEMBLE]
Ew!

[GROVER]
Baaaaaah!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Dude, what was that?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Uh, nothing!

[PERCY]
My best friend was acting strange
At which he so excelled

[ALL]
The day it all went down

[PERCY]
The day I got expelled

(Spoken)
Why do you have peanut butter in your hair?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Ask Nancy Bobofit. She's a monster! Not literally. I don't think.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you, I stopped it. With my head.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Grover, you're a good friend.

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Aw...
Dude. I'm your only friend.

[MRS DODDS]
Percy Jackson!

[PERCY]
I knew something was up
When I heard my name get yelled

[ALL]
The day it all went down-

[PERCY]
I saw something odd in Mrs. Dodds' frown

[ALL]
The day it all got weird

[PERCY]
The day I got expelled

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
Mr. Jackson

[PERCY]
Oh-oh-oh-oh!

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
Mr. Jackson

[PERCY]
Oh-oh-oh-oh!

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
Mr. Jackson!
Please see me by the sphinx

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Look... if this is about Nancy Bobofit, she only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first graders-

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
I have heard much about you... Percy Jackson.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Really? That's very dedicated for a substitute...

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
Kicked out of five schools in six years. One might question your parentage.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Hey, don't talk about my mom-

[MRS DODDS]
(Spoken)
And your father? That's right... you don't know who he is! [begins laughing]

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
What's this about anyway?

Uh, Mrs. Dodds?
You have something growing on your-

[MRS DODDS' laughter become maniacal. PERCY screams]

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
What ho, Percy!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Mr. Brunner! What am I supposed to do with a pen- Sword! Woah!

[MRS DODDS screams]

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Mr. Brunner?
Mrs... Dodds?

Um...

(Sung)
I didn't know what just had happened
Was that all a creepy, crazy dream?

My teacher was a creature
Then she vanished in the ether
With a demon scream

The next thing that I knew
I was where detention was held

The day it all got real
The day I got-

(Spoken)
Expelled?

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
I tried, Percy, but the headmaster stands firm in his decision. You were supposed to stay with the group. And this was your final warning.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
But it wasn't my fault, it was Mrs. Dodds! She lured me away, she attacked me, and... you saw it!

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
Did I?

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
And you gave me that pen! Only it wasn't a pen, it was a sword, and...
What?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Percy... we've never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds.

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
Perhaps it's for the best. This wasn't the place for you. It was only a matter of time before-

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
I got kicked out?

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
That's not what I was going to-

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
You think I'm trouble. Just like everyone else.

[MR BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
No, but... That is to say... I can only accept the best from you, Percy. Someday you'll understand why. I'm truly sorry.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Yeah well, I'm sorry I let you down.

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Maybe he's right. You never fit in at this school anyway. You're not exactly...

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Normal?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Exactly! [Laughs]
I mean, uh, I'll see you on the bus

[PERCY]
So if you think you are a halfblood
Better get headed to the exits now

'Cause folks will think you're lying
Better run and don't start crying
'Cause you're monster chow

Or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me
This ain't Odysseus' Odyssey

So hear me out
If you're so compelled

But, nobody listens to me
They never listen
Nobody listens to me
They never listen, oh

[ENSEMBLE]
Dude!
You got
Expelled

[PERCY]
I didn't wanna be a halfblood
([ENSEMBLE]: Expelled!)
I didn't ask to be a halfblood

[ALL]
Expelled!

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[MR. D]
Oh, you're alive
I suppose that's good news for you
But it means a lot more paperwork for me

So don't expect me to be happy to see you
Of course, being alive is temporary

(Spoken)
So, maybe if I go away and play pinochle for a few hours, things might improve. For me. Not for you. You'd be dead.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Where am I?

[MR. D]
Great!
You haven't been debriefed
This is way out of my pay grade
Which is saying a lot
'Cause I don't get paid

(Spoken)
Someone find Professor Hay-for-breath and tell him Peter Johnson is awake, so he better clip-clop over here!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
It's Percy Jackson

[MR. D]
(Spoken)
Whatever!

(Sung)
Just another terrible day
At Camp Half-Blood
Where everything's the worst

Just another terrible day
When you're in charge
It's like you're cursed

(Spoken)
Well, technically I am cursed. One romp in the woods with Zeus' favorite wood nymph, and you're stuck running a summer camp for a bunch of needy half-bloods.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Half-blood?

[MR. D]
(Spoken)
Yeah, half-god, half-mortal. Does no one watch the orientation film?

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Did you say half-god?

[MR D]
(Spoken)
Yeah. And I half-care
Who's next? Silena Beauregard!

[SILENA enters, crying]

Oh, great, she's crying.

[SILENA]
(Spoken)
I was walking in the strawberry fields with Charlie Beckendorf and we were holding hands and everything was totally normal and then I kissed him and all of a sudden he started growing sunflowers. Everywhere!

[MR. D]
Look, kid
I hate to be the one to tell you
But I think that Charlie Beckendorf was also holding hands with a nymph
That doesn't wanna to wish you well

To tell you the truth
The best thing is to break up with the guy

(Spoken)
'Course, who am I to give relationship advice, I'm literally the god of alcohol

[SILENA]
(Spoken)
But he loves me-

[MR. D]
(Spoken)
He loves you not! Next!

(Sung)
Another terrible day
At Camp Half-Blood
Where everything's the worst

Just another terrible day
I'm the god of wine
And I'm dying of thirst

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Wait, did you say you're a god?

[MR. D]
(Spoken)
Dionysus, god of wine. The gods are real. Yippy skippy.
Ah, Katie Gardner. I see you've injured your arm.

[KATIE]
(Spoken)
I fell off a pegasus (giggles).

[MR. D]
(Spoken)
You don't have flying lessons on Thursdays, you have archery.

[KATIE]
(Spoken)
Those arrows are made of wood! wood comes from trees! I refuse to participate in any activity that encourages the senseless slaughter of our arboreal friends-

[MR. D]
Oh, gods
Give me Ares or Apollo
Anyone but the Demeter kids cabin

Now that you blessed us
Go talk to Hephaestus
Before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing

(Spoken)
And stay away from the pegasi! Girls and ponies...
Ah, speaking of ponies.

[MR. BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
Percy!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Mr. Brunner! What are you doing here?
This guy is saying all this crazy stuff about nymphs and gods and...
What is going on?

[MR. BRUNNER]
(Spoken)
It's... complicated-

[MR. D]
Oh kid,
You have no idea
About this place or your former mentor

I don't have time
To fill you in on the details
But look, he's also a centaur

(Spoken)
God!

[MR. BRUNNER is revealed to be CHIRON, and whinnies]

[CHIRON]
(Spoken)
I did mean to tell you...

{MR. D}
Another terrible day
([PERCY]: Mr. Brunner!)
At Camp Half-blood
([PERCY]: You're a horse!)
Where everything's the worst
([PERCY]: What is happening?)

Another terrible day
You can hate it here
But I hated it first

Just another terrible day
Stuck with these runts
In the muck and mud

Another terrible day
Oh gods!

(Speaking)
I need a drink

(Sung)
Enjoy your stay
At Camp Half-blood

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[SALLY]
I can't tell you all my secrets

[PERCY]
Maybe you should start with one

[SALLY]
(Spoken)
You're right

(Sung)
I'll show you where I met your dad
He'd be proud of his son

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Who cares?

(Sung)
We're better off without him

[SALLY]
(Spoken)
No

(Sung)
It's time you found out
More about him

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Wow, look at the size of those waves

[SALLY]
(Spoken)
Fire's going. Somebody needs a marshmallow, and they're blue! Don't tell me you're too old for blue food

[PERCY]
You met dad on this beach?

[SALLY]
I first saw him in the water
Coming out of the morning mist
He was handsome, strong
And before too long-
You came
To exist

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
And he ditched us

(Sung)
No coming home for dinner
Yeah, he sounds like a real winner

[SALLY]
(Spoken)
Percy, he didn't have a choice. He wanted to meet you, and he warned me that things might be hard if you were... like him

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Was he a screw up too?
Sorry, mom. If I was only... normal-

[SALLY]
(Spoken)
Hey

(Sung)
Blue food isn't normal
Blue food is strange
And that's why it's my favorite
I never want it to change

To make it boring orange or green
Why be blah
When there's aquamarine

Normal is a myth
Everyone has issues they're dealing with

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Mom, if you're weird, you're weak

[SALLY]
That's where you're wrong
The things that make you different
Are the very things that make you
Strong

So, be strong

(Spoken)
You'll see, you're destined for great things.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
The only thing I seem to be destined for is detention.

(Sung)
I can't focus
I stink at school
My A.D.D. gets the best of me
Dyslexia: not cool

[SALLY]
Just hang on son
One day you'll find
You'll leave that boring little life behind

[BOTH]
Normal is a myth
Everyone has issues they're dealing with

[SALLY]
And there's a place
You need to go
Where you belong

Where the things that make you different
Are the things that make you special
Special like your father
Yes, Percy, you are special

Like food the color blue
All the things that make you, you
Are the things
That will make you
Strong

[BOTH]
So be strong

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[GROVER]
Guys, we got this
You ain't shot this
Yo, I know your train of thought is
That there ain't no way in Hades that we'll win

All your worries
Come in flurries
But we bested freakin' Furies!
Look how far we've come, we can't give in

It's one foot forward at a time
Dust off all that grit and grime
We still got a lot left to do

'Cause people are counting on us
And I'm counting on you

[CONDUCTOR]
(Spoken)
All aboard!

[GROVER]
Drive
Just drive

Stay ahead
Stay ahead
Stay alive

We ain't got no time for moping
When we're working and we're coping
So pedal to the metal and drive!

[CONDUCTOR]
(Spoken)
St. Louis, everybody off!

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
Look! The Gateway Arch!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Whoa. Look! A lady with a puppy! Aw, is that a Chihuahua? Aw, hey lil– whoa!

[ECHIDNA]
(Spoken)
(laughing) It's a chimera!

[ANNABETH]
That was freaky!

[PERCY]
That was scary!

[GROVER]
Yo, guys, are you aware
We keep surviving every creepy crazy thing

[TRACTOR GUY]
(Spoken)
Hop on my tractor!

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
Like an arrow from Orion
Keep on straight and keep on tryin'
No Fates are ever gonna cut our string

[REPORTER]
(Spoken)
As you can see, Bob, we've got thunder and flooding and hurricane level winds. We urge all citizens to stay off the road, and don't–

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
Drive
Just drive

Stay ahead
Stay ahead
And stay alive

The weather may be stormy
But the road is still before me
So pedal to the metal and drive!

[TRACTOR GUY]
(Spoken)
Bye kids!

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
Okay, here's the problem. Public transportation is suspended due to the storm, and if we get on a plane, Zeus will strike us right out of the sky.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Do we have enough drachmas for an Uber?

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
We don't even have enough drachmas for a cheeseburger!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
If you hadn't bought all those dam snacks–

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
Uh, it was the Hoover Dam, and I was hungry!

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
(Spoken)
(indistinct arguing)

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Why are we fighting?

[ARES]
(Spoken)
I have that effect.
Ares, god of war. Maybe you've met my daughter - Clarisse?
Wh-o-oa, whoa, relax, I come in peace! I hear you runts are headed to Hades, but you'll never make it on public transportation. I can take you as far as Vegas.
Y'all cool with motorcycles, right?

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
What do you think? Can we trust this guy?

[GROVER]
It's one foot forward at a time?

[PERCY]
Dust off all that grit and grime?

[ANNABETH]
We still–

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
Got a lot left to do

'Cause people are counting on us
And I'm counting on you

Drive
Just drive

Stay ahead
Stay ahead
And stay alive

[ARES]
The road, it offers freedom
As for rules, hell, we don't need 'em!

[ALL]
So pedal to the metal and drive!

[PERCY]
I never dreamed that I could do this
Never felt like I was worth a damn
But I, I'm sorta getting through this
I mean, wha? I mean, look at where I am!

[ARES]
(Spoken)
Vegas, baby! This is where I get off.

[GROVER]
(Spoken)
That guy is so cool.

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
Okay, gang, we'll be in LA tomorrow. But tonight, we need a place to sleep.

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
How about here? The Lotus Hotel.

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
Pssh, you're joking, right? In The Odyssey, if you went to sleep in a lotus bed, one night could last one hundred years!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Uh, I'm sure that's irrelevant. Um, excuse me miss, how long have you been at this hotel?

[BIANCA DI ANGELO]
(Spoken)
Why, my brother and I arrived just yesterday: May 1st... 1939!

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Uh, we can sleep on the road.

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
Drive
Just drive

Stay ahead
And don't get dead
And stay alive

[GROVER]
With the wind upon our faces
We're getting all the places

[ANNABETH]
No major fender benders
Now we're looking like contenders

[PERCY]
The Oracle can can it
I'll save my mom and save the planet

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
So pedal to the metal and–

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
Oh look, a bus to Los Angeles!

[ANNABETH]
(Spoken)
Are you sure that's a good idea?

[PERCY]
(Spoken)
This one we just won't blow up!

[GROVER]
Ha!

[PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER]
And drive!

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[LUKE, spoken]
Meet Clarisse: daughter of Ares, god of war.

[CLARISSE, spoken]
You got a problem with that? Prepare to be pulverized, newbie

[CLARISSE, sung]
You wanna know whose house you're fighting for?
The god of strategy, the god of war
The god of water or the god of death
Before you take your final breath

God of messengers, go take a note
You're gonna drown, you ain't gonna float
You're gonna lose, yeah, you missed the boat
It's gonna be bloody murder she wrote

I'll put you in
I'll put you in
I'll put you in your place

I'll put you in
I'll put you in
I'll put you in your place

[PERCY, spoken]
We have to beat her?

[ANNABETH, spoken]
Don't worry, Athena always has a plan

[ANNABETH, sung]
Every demi has a special skill
([ENSEMBLE]: Special skill)
Speed or brains or the strength of will
([ENSEMBLE]: Strength of will)

But she-she's gonna take a special spill
Right to the bottom of the biggest hill

[CLARISSE]
Don't mean to boast, don't mean to brag
But you losers are a total drag
([ENSEMBLE]: Losers)

[CLARISSE]
I feel your spirits starting to sag
She could capture your heart
I'm gonna c-c-c-c-capture the flag!

[ANNABETH AND CLARISSE]
I'll put you in
I'll put you in
I'll put you in your place

I'll put you in
I'll put you in
I'll put you in your place

[ANNABETH, spoken]
All right, team. Let's talk strategy. Hermes kids are fast, so, Luke-

[LUKE, spoken]
Foot brigade. Got it

[ANNABETH, spoken]
Right. Grover, satyrs are creatures of Pan -
god of the wild. You know what to do?

[GROVER, spoken]
Yep. Hide in a tree!

[PERCY, spoken]
What about me? I don't know my talent yet

[ANNABETH, spoken]
I have a special job for you. Go to the boy's bathroom

[PERCY, spoken]
And?

[ANNABETH, spoken]
Stay there. It's your first day. We don't want you messing this up

[ALL, spoken]
Battle!

[PERCY, spoken]
Okay. Just stay here. Just stay in the bathroom, and stay out of-

[CLARISSE, spoken]
Trouble? Ha!

[CLARRISE, sung]
Heard you were tough
But you don't look it

Your goose is cooked
I'm here to cook it

Maybe the minotaur died from a case
Of laughing too hard from seeing your stupid face

[PERCY]
Look, "Captain Crazy", but the flag ain't here
You got some issue with me, it's pretty clear

[CLARISSE]
You faced a monster on your very first day
You lucky punk!
Now, newbie, you're gonna pay

[CLARISSE (ENSEMBLE)]
I'll put you in (she'll put you in)
I'll put you in (she'll put you in)
I'll put you in your place (she'll put you in your place)
I'll put you in (she'll put you in)
I'll put you in (she'll put you in)
I'll put you in your place (she'll put you in your place)

Admin : My favorite songs in the musical!!! XD