fuck it

yeh i am a coward but you know what

im just afraid of hurting you but why are you cowering? afraid to hurt me? you shouldn't be i was never ok and i will never be. i assume your seeing this too because you never do leave. or maybe this time you have and im even more of a fool... fuck im making it worse i can tell... im sorry but i want to say one last thing before you leave

sorry i was... how i was. i wish you told me before it got to bad... maybe you did i don't know im a little dence. ok no im really fucking stupid, im a downright idiot. and i hurt you, im sorry. but one last time i want to say; you might not see it now but it does get better. it might take a while. hell it might take your whole life. but when it gets better it's all worth it. and i was always there because i care. and i doubt i will ever stop caring. ive always been like that it hurts, but i want to care. so im sorry my knife was double sided and hurt us both. 

you can leave but you can always come back

im so sorry for everything

bye...