Zeus, get your ass over here.

Zeus slowly comes over from his room, clutching his thunderbolt tightly between his fist, a determined and angry look on his face.

I see someone woke up on the wrong side of their beds.

Shut up. 

Siriusly, why so sirius? Don't you know that being sirius is banned over here, especially because he died and no one is over him still?

Admin holds a Sirius pop up doll tightly to his chest.

Yeah, whatever.

Really Zeus, just smile a bit. It won't hurt.

I can't.

Why? Should I tickle you? Should I bring your youngest godly grandkids over and leave you three alone?

No.

Then should I bring you your favourite snuggie and your favourite blanket and the latest season of My Little Pony?

No.

Is Hera bleeding?

Yes.

Admin sighs.

That explains everything. But I am gonna cheer you up.

Admin smiles and shows Zeus a slip of paper.

Its your first dare.

An expression of horror comes over Zeus' face.

Calm down. Compared to the next one, this should be a piece of cake.

Zeus reads the slip. He becomes red with shame, anger, more anger and blinding anger.

WHO DARE DARE ME TO DO THIS?

Admin smirks and points out to the readers that the two dares in the previous sentence are acknowledged and were intentional. Admin then turns to Zeus.

I won't tell you. Ever. 

Admin winks at the dedicated person who gave this amazing dare.

I hate grass, and I am certainly not wearing it over thunderstick.

First of all, that name sucks. Second of all, I am your admin. And I am bound by honour, duty and several personal reasons to do so.

Admin points at the contract, the badge of admins and the list of reasons in the far corner of the hallway. The topmost reason is "Giving all that stress to Percy and others", followed by "Being an ass to everyone" and "Trying to make 'thunderstick' happen. It will never happen." Admin then switches to meme format for the next part of the argument, which is summed up:

After 4 hours, a lot of screaming, threats to burn down everything, more screaming, and a performance by Michael Flatley Zeus gave up. 

*In Snape voice* 

Obviously.

In Camp Half-Blood, the campers were seated in front of a giant black shadowy stage, on the comfiest beanbags ever, straight from Zeus' personal collection, some of which he "borrowed" from Athena a long time back. The Athena kids are sitting on those beanbags, just because they liked the owl design on them. Percy and Annabeth sit in the VIP section of the Couples section, meaning in the first row, 2 meters from the stage.

Alright, the camera system is set up. Dad's gonna love this. Let me see- wait, live in 30 seconds? 

Admin runs in front of the stage.

Camp Half-Blood, I have called you all to this special event, mainly because you will love this, and also because the only gods who will be able to see this is Hades, the sponsor, and Hestia because she's the best. And she's right there. Hi Hestia.

Admin waves excitedly, and Hestia waves back with her ever warm smile from the leftmost beanbag of the front row, right beside the warm hearth.

I present to you, dancing on a song VERY offensive to parents who are above the age of 40, but not most Gods even though they are like 3000 years old, the performance of the CENTURY.

The stage lights up with a white light from above, showing a man, Zeus, standing in a grass skirt and a coconut bra. 

*in a whisper* It's going to be so good.

Anaconda by Nicki Minaj starts playing.

*********************

( ) contains song lyrics

*********************

https://youtu.be/LDZX4ooRsWs

(My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't

My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun)

Zeus moves like a seaweed in the sea, side to side.

(Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit
Big dope dealer money, he was gettin' some coins
Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a palace
Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish
Now that's real, real, real
Gun in my purse, bitch, I came dressed to kill
Who wanna go first? I had them pushing daffodils
I'm high as hell, I only took a half a pill
I'm on some dumb shit, by the way, what he say?
He can tell I ain't missing no meals
Come through and fuck him in my automobile
Let him eat it with his grills and he tellin' me to chill And he                                                                        Say he don't like 'em boney, he want something he can grab                                                                         So I pulled up in the Jag, and I hit him with the jab like                                                                               Dun-d-d-dun-dun-d-d-dun-dun

My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't                                                                                                                My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun )

Zeus starts to move like seaweed again, but front and back.  

(Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Look at, look at, look at

Look, at her butt )

Zeus turns around and gave a beautiful booty shake, much like this:

(This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel's
Real country-ass nigga, let me play with his rifle
Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil
Now that bang, bang, bang
I let him hit it cause he slang cocaine
He toss my salad like his name Romaine
And when we done, I make him buy me Balmain
I'm on some dumb shit, by the way, what he say?
He can tell I ain't missing no meals
Come through and fuck him in my automobile
Let him eat it with his grills, and he telling me to chill
And he telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal
He say he don't like 'em boney, he want something he can grab
So I pulled up in the Jag, Mayweather with the jab like
Dun-d-d-dun-dun-d-d-dun-dun)

Zeus starts to shake his booty harder as he comes closer to the dun duns, and when he reaches them, his dun duns are almost a blur.

(My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't

My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun

Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
(Look at her butt)
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at her butt)

At this point, Zeus turns around and... does this.

Thankfully, no one saw his little friend under the grass. 

(Little in the middle but she got much back

Little in the middle but she got much back

Little in the middle but she got much back
Oh my God, look at her butt)

My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun
My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't
Don't want none unless you got buns, hun

Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
(Look at her butt)
Look at, look at, look at
Look, at her butt)

At this, Zeus started to do something no mere mortal could have been able to.

(Yeah, he love this fat ass, hahaha!
Yeah! This one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the fucking club
I said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?
Fuck the skinny bitches! Fuck the skinny bitches in the club!
I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the muthafuckin' club
Fuck you if you skinny bitches, what?! Kyuh
Haha, haha
I got a big fat ass 
Come on!)

At this last bit, Zeus did a great grand finale.

The curtains closed, and Admin stepped on the stage again.

HOW WAS IT, PEOPLE? I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT. ESPECIALLY YOU, HESTIA.