Kisi nazar ko tera intezar aaj bhi hai

Kisi nazar ko tera intezar aaj bhi hai

Kahaan ho tum ke yeh dil bekarar aaj bhi hai

.. kisi nazar ko tera intezar aaj bhi hai

sitting on window sill her hands tremble when they touch cold rim of glass. perhaps she forgot about it. her brain not working at all. now a days it has stopped functioning. first her heart and now brain, feels like this time KMA would leave no chance in getting her too....

like it did to her Rajveer sir before. the man who loved her with his whole heart...she the impulsive brat who never became ideal student. who defied him times to times but he never gave up. he never stopped loving her. with his everything..and when she came to realize it....there was no one she could hold onto. in fact life even didnt give her a chance to tell him that she had also fallen in love with him...madly and deeply. for once...for a single time...her heart was left crying when it realized the depth of feelings for him. 

living with a broken heart is easy but she doesn't feel her heart anymore. everyday when she breathes in this kma air, something in her just dies. the air still smells of his cologne. those memories...they haunt her now. she feels too alone...too left out. like there is no one in this world. only she and her sorrows...and damn! the war never ends. it goes on. she breathes, she functions but it is never organic. how many times she thought of giving up but god know why she stopped. so much burden on her heart...the broken pieces now crumbling to ashes. what does God actually want from her! perhaps...this is how she was supposed to be punished for her karma...for trying to take away her love' peace...

and look she and peace are never at same page. everybody has moved on.. but she...she is stuck in those years when she was a cadet...his cadet. his naina ahh singh....

and suddenly she remembers someone else pronouncing her name...the same face...same eyes...same voice...like a miracle she could not believe her eyes. perhaps her cries had been heard. perhaps for this once all her sins were forgiven. 

but....

He is not her rajveer sir. she has been loving him for no idea when. perhaps when she got to know she has a heart it went with him. since the day she started feeling, she felt only him. with so much of him in her she was not able to believe her own luck and thus she had to dig in..

her fingers trembled. phone fell. eyes never stopped flowing. with an iron will she dialed that number..

'he...hello.'

'sir. main naina bol rahi hu. aapki help chahiye thi...

kuch jan na he. background info. 

main aapko photo aur id mail karti hu.'

when she took the snapshot of that id...she was not in state of even standing up. she had sneaked up to his room. her feet were heavy as before. everything was same and she had anticipated him to appear and say the same line. same way she wanted to get caught but this time in his arms...in his heart forever. but a huge part of her kept on poking her how this could be possible. how he could return when she was sure her luck had run her out. she wanted to fail in this mission...for first time. but nothing that sort of happened. she had stolen his id and looked into his drawers. two hours she was there but nobody came and she returned as she had gone....

empty hearted.

naina stares into zero. the horizon is never there like he was never here. 

she had prayed to all gods for giving him back. she could give anything for him. anything...every ounce of her being she was ready to bait for him but....life seldom gives second chance. 

when chaubey sir gave her details she had no tears left to cry. the shock was expected but still the emptiness grew. she felt like she lost something and she knew this something was not even hers. the maze she was in before, she was there still. she had no way out...no way.

her rajveer sir...and captain rajeev singh...they are two different personalities. tow different men. two different individuals. but the heart is treacherous. it pokes her daily to dig in once more for some incidents are not supposed to happen again. sometimes clocks are supposed to stop and history is supposed to be deleted. but here...in kma...everything is trying to repeat itself. she falls in his arms...the way she passed out years ago. he holds her..the way rajveer sir held her years ago. it goes on...list is too long but in the end she knows he is not her rajveer sir.

and it is just another hurricane waiting for her. rajveer sir' absence could let her live but in kma with captain rajeev singh...this is impossible. For suddenly she is hollow when she sees him there standing with the same aura of Rajveer sir but she is somewhere feeling herself breathing when he comes out different.

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Written by mona