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5 pm.

I sit down at the edge of my bed after taking a shower, staying in my sweatpants only since it's hot in my room with y/n remaining silent behind me and spending her time on her phone. I ruffle my hair but lie down next to her, to be against her body.

"I'm so fucking worn out after this long day..." I exhale heavily and place one arm under my head to close my eyes. "And I'm sad..." I slip through my words but try not to smile. "You're sad? Why...?" she reacts instantly as if she was worried about me but I turn my head to gaze into her eyes. "I talked with my baby girl earlier and she said she would cuddle me, give me a lot of affection, but she's not and my heart is aching..." I act needy but she doesn't break the eye contact.

A smile of disbelief appears on her face and she drops her phone on her lap. "If you don't tell me, I can't guess what you want."

"I want you, all the time," I say the truth with no shame but watch her feeling shy about this sentence. Once it's straightforward, she gets all overwhelmed. "Now you know so don't try to use that pretext to avoid me."

She sighs but chuckles, placing her phone aside, she bends over and puts her arms around me to lay her head on my chest. I grin but run my fingers through her hair, to play with them. "Good girl."

"Now I'm going to rest because I'm tired," she speaks softly, not moving or complaining about my touch and actions. I tuck some strands of hair between her ear, the tip of my fingers stroking her skin, they reach out for her jawline and trace its bone. "Then close your eyes and go to sleep, I want to rest too."

She now remains silent so I do it too, my fingers caressing her features as my head is resting on hers. I grab the blanket in a kind manner and pull it up our tight-close bodies, my free hand touches the one she's keeping on my torso and I hold it.

10 minutes later...

The sleepiness still not taking over me as if my body didn't want me to drift to my dreams, I press a kiss on y/n's forehead but turn to the side to face her. I embrace her with my arms and stick my body to her curves for my face to be near hers, the most possible. I usually fall asleep in no time when I'm tired like this but for some reason that I don't know, I can't. Maybe I keep on thinking about her way too much, she's already sleeping now given the sound of her breathing and the expression of her face.

My eyes stare at her features, reveling in the moment with her in my arms, through the calm, through the dim light of the day slowly ending. I breathe in and out in a relaxed manner, rubbing my fingers over her back to soothe her no matter the state in which she is, I drop my gaze down to her lips. Without any warning, she snuggles up against me even more when no space is left between us, causing our lips to be barely away from each other.

My heart is suddenly pounding. I don't know what I'm feeling in my chest, this is like achy but pleasant at the same time. I hate it but like it. I want to kiss her lips, to taste them, have them between mine, and feel what it's like to have this type of intimacy with her. I lick mine but focus on her glossy and pink ones, her angelic face making it even harder to not be tempted by a tender touch. My heart now rushing mad into my chest, I move closer to her in the most gentle manner and tilt my head to the side while checking her eyes.

I close mine. I cannot do this, I don't have the right. I sigh sharply but establish the tiny gap back between us to prevent a kiss from happening.

I handle this frustration and just hold her close to me, shut my eyes, and wait to fall asleep.

1 hour later...

"Jungkook," the voice of my mother echoes through the dark room, my eyes opening with difficulty as some lights are suddenly blinding me. I check my surroundings but quickly realize I'm in a different room, a room that I don't know but feel uncomfortable in.

"Jungkookie baby, say goodbye now," my mom makes me turn around, a school yard only crowded with my mother and two children before her. I frown at the sight of those kids, the boy's and girl's faces seeming blur as if the features didn't want to sharpen and be clear. "Stop crying baby..." she squats down next to this boy she's calling with my name but passes her fingers over his cheeks.

This little boy of maybe around four or five years old steps forth but hugs the little girl tightly, some sobs reverberating around me but oddly affecting me. "This is so heartbreaking..." my mother straightens up but talks to another person who just appeared from out of nowhere, this woman staying behind the girl, she leans over her and once the boy only holds her hand, the woman picks the girl up and holds her in her arms. "Come on, we need to go sweetie."

This simple action provokes an intense and painful scene, the little boy starts to cry heavily, asking for the woman to let go of the girl who's also sobbing but tearing my heart apart. "No!" he loudly shouts but stretches his arms up to the little girl. "Jungkook, stop. It's okay," my mother takes him in her arms for the woman to be left alone but he doesn't agree to this and acts even more upset about it.

"I'm leaving, I feel like this will be worse if I stay here," the woman bows to my mom while holding the girl as if she was her child but she walks away with the kid weeping. "Jungkook...my baby...stop crying like that," my mom wipes his tears away while doing her best to calm him down but doesn't succeed. "I promise she's going to come back," she pecks him on the lips. "You'll see y/n again, I promise you," her words hit me hard in the chest, my lungs lacking of air in a mere second, I watch the little boy choking up on his cries while going through an intense moment full of ache but hear him yelling a word I cannot clearly perceive, pronouncing it one more time and stretching his arm out towards her.

I open my eyes.

My heart racing but going hard and fast enough to cause a panic state through me. I'm currently sweating, suffering from hyperventilation, and clinging onto y/n. What the hell just happened? Why the hell am I feeling so weird suddenly? This was just a dream, I need to calm down but this felt so real a second ago that I can still feel the extreme pain inside.

My eyes darting up to discern y/n's features suddenly shed a tear. My blurred vision worsening as I blinked, I bring one hand up to my eyes but wipe the tears away. This sensation of distress is almost making me dizzy and lost, as if I wasn't sure that what I'm going through right now is real life. I retreat from y/n who's still sound asleep but sit up on the bed, fixing my eyes on something to try to simmer down but find it hard like never before to do it.

No matter how much I'm attempting to put other things on my mind, the pain doesn't go away and my eyes only gets filled with more water full of horrible emotions I haven't felt in a while. I sniffle but move away to grab hold of my shirt and put it on in a haste but stomp to the door leading to the hallway.

I do it as quietly as possible and close the door behind me, I glance down but stay on my spot for no good reason. A wet feeling on my upper lip catch my attention and I move my hand up to it, to wipe it but realize my nose is bleeding. I keep my hand there but bend my head back a little while rushing downstairs, hearing the TV that means my mom is here. I go down the stairs swiftly but without stopping at the sound of my mother's voice, I hurry to reach the kitchen and grab some good absorbent tissues.

"My baby? Is everything okay?" my mother comes in with a lot of worry in her voice but I open the freezer to look for a cold pad. "Yeah...just a nosebleed mom. I'm fine," I grab what I need and place it over the tissues, to help the bleeding to stop or at least slow down the flow. "Oh again...What happened? Did you do something?" she walks up to me as my head is not moving anymore to remain leaned back.

"I just...I had a nightmare and...I feel weird..." I tell her the truth since I know she will try to soothe me. "My baby..." she touches my back to rub it and comfort me but I remove the cold pad, to only wipe the blood with the tissue but feel the tears coming back. I'm not weak, I don't easily cry so what the fuck is happening to me only because of a stupid dream?

"Hey...don't cry..." she erases the sadness from my face with her caring and warm hand but this doesn't help me at all. "What did you see in your nightmare to feel like that?"

"I don't know..." I find myself sobbing but soaking the blood with new tissues, some of it leaking down and dripping on my white shirt. "It was...with y/n and you...but...this was so weird..." I struggle to explain it without sounding crazy. She doesn't say a word but listens to me. "You were like...calling a little boy Jungkook but...that boy I was supposed to be cried because a girl left him when he was at school and...you said at the end of it that she was y/n but the children kept on crying so much...I don't know why I was feeling the pain and then started to have like a sort of panic attack when I heard you say her name..."

"Oh god..." she runs her hand over my back. "It's okay...try to stop thinking about it."

I wipe the little amount of blood that leaves my nose but look up at her, before peeking over her shoulder but seeing y/n. "Are you okay...?" she asks in her little voice but gets my mom to turn around. "Y/n...I'm sorry, I just had a nosebleed..." I check the tissue to know if it's still flowing but see there's nothing anymore. I throw the dirty tissues away while my baby is coming closer but gaze up at her.

I don't know why I'm feeling so different inside but my heart is rushing nonstop. Y/n doesn't say a word but checks on me, probably worried about me like she always is. "I cooked the dinner already, do you want to eat?" my mom mentions it and helps me to think of something else. I nod and get to the dining table, to sit down on a chair but slowly get back to a normal state.

Y/n joins me as expected but lays her forearms on the table to lean over and set her eyes on me. I maintain the connection between us, the feeling in my chest never going away but only increasing in intensity the more I'm staring into her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay...?" her soft voice hastens the beating of my heart but I lie with a nod of my head. I lean towards the flat surface as well and put my arms down on it but feel her inching closer. "I hate to see you like that..."

"I'm fine y/n...really..." my eyes meet hers and I reassure her. This was just a nightmare anyway, I'm alright. She draws herself closer but to my greatest surprise, plants a kiss on my cheek, making love this soft sensation but at the same time, hate its strong effect. I glance down at her lips but swallow my desire to kiss her. I've never felt so weak for her before.

"Here you are my baby," my mother places a dish right in front of me to take my eyes off of y/n. "And here you are," she serves her. "Thank you very much Miss," she smiles and bows her head, making my mother beam but sit before us. "You can call me Seolja now."

"Oh...alright," she answers with her sweet voice while I'm gazing down at my food. I gulp down but grab my spoon to start to fill my empty stomach with the rice, then some of the Tteokbokki. "Did you both sleep after coming back home?"

"Yes, we had sports class today so that was a bit tiring," y/n answers for me as I stuffed my mouth. "Ah alright," she kindly speaks to her but I raise my chin up to gaze at y/n while they're having a conversation.

Why did that dream seem and feel so familiar? Now, once I look at her I feel different but in an unknown and unusual manner. I know that feeling in my chest very well but also the way this turns into something horrible after some time. "Kook?" my mother waves her hand in my sight to make me react as I was too dived in my thoughts to even hear her calling me. I stop staring at y/n and give my attention to her. "Yeah...?"

She exahles heavily but in a troubled manner. "How was your day at school?"

"Oh...good..." I clear my throat but put my spoon down. "That was a good day..." I repeat myself nervously but rub my eyes. "I...I'm not really hungry mom, I'm going to work on my math for tomorrow, I don't want to fail the test," I stand up from my chair and push it against the table while noticing this is throwing a real cold tension in the room.

I still don't make a noise and leave, to head upstairs and reach my bedroom. I've never felt this type of anguish even after my several breakups. I know what a heartbreak feels like but this isn't the same right now, I can't even perceive what is is exactly but I just want it to end.

I open the door of my bedroom with my cold hand and step in, to close it behind me and stroll to my bed. I lie sit down at the end of it but grab hold of my phone to try to take my mind away from this hell.

I received some texts and one from Mino. Perfect.

< hey kook, you're going on the trip this Thursday, right? ]

[ yeah why? >

< I just wanted to make sure. I saw you earlier with y/n tho😏 I know I'm changing the subject out of the blue but yeah...had to say it...😏 ]

[ when? >

< when you were doing sport, you know I have my classes in the building over there but I had to go out to get some books and I saw you acting all cuddly with y/n. What kind of relationship do you have? You touch her nonstop🤭 ]

[ we're friends >

< personally I never looked at or touched one of my girl or guy friends that way...but if you say so🥱 ]

[ I dont even touch her that much stop it >

< excuse me?! You have your hands on her all the time dude and she sometimes sits on your lap,you play with her hair, touch her hips and more every damn time that I see you and let's not even talk about how you check her out especially her thighs. Man, I cant belive this bullshit ]

[ were just friends. I told you

< sure...Are you okay tho? You're cold in your answers, I'm not used to this ]

[ I'm sorry I'm just a bit tired after this long day😪 >

< ah ok, I'm gonna leave you alone then😁 ]

[ I'm good don't worry, we can talk more >

The door opening brings my eyes up to it. I lock my phone once I see y/n walking in but watch her silently stepping closer to end next to me. "Am I annoying you?" she barely looks at me as if she was unsure but I shake my head. "No, you're not..."

"You seem weird since you woke up..." she licks her lips but exhanges looks with me. I sit in a more proper position and drop my phone on the mattress, without ever breaking our eye contact. "I...I just had a nightmare and...this makes me feel kinda..." I seek for the right word. "Kinda dazed...lost..."

"Do you want to talk about it...?" she fiddles with her fingers but for some reason that I don't know, her cheeks catch a red tint. "No, it's fine...and I barely remember it...I just..." my eyes end on her glossy lips but stay focused on them. I nibble onto mine but feel my breathing quickening, it just became quiet, our eyes making us look at each other's lips unceasingly while both nibbling on them or licking them. I don't try to end my sentence but just remain silent, to stare at her.

She kisses my lips. I really didn't expect this at all, let alone with her that way. She gazes into my eyes profoundly after retreating for no good reason but turns red in a simple second. "I—I'm sorry—" her sentence ends with my lips against hers and my hand on her jawline.