"What's wrong?"

She gulps down but removes her leg from mine. Her face is red as hell and she's now spreading the cream all by herself. "Did I hurt you?" I pretend not to know what made her do this and watch her rubbing herself. "No..."

I stare at her without moving anymore but keep my balance with my hand not leaving the blanket. "Did I turn you on?"

She nibbles on her lips but stops the motion of her hand. "Hm?" I cock my head to the side to have her eyes into mine but she suddenly reacts like a crazy girl and throws her body back on the bed, to whirl around and hide her face in the blanket and arms. Now I have her thighs and almost the inside of her skirt in full sight.

I don't like the way this is making me hard. "You don't like to be with me?" I gaze at her curves as she's not getting out of her hollow. I feel an urge to grab her and grip those freaking thighs then pull those skirt and panties down. "I like it..." she mumbles in the fabrics. I bite my lips but lean towards her, passing my arm and leg over her body to top her and crawl a bit higher. "And when I touch you?"

"I like it..." she turns her head to the side to reveal a part of it. "A lot..."

I lower my body down to hers, my hardness pressing against her butt. I make up my mind as soon as my arousal is taking over me and sit astride her. My hand grasps her hip and I take hold of my phone. "Do you wanna listen to some music?"

"If you want yes," she agrees to this so I connect my phone to my speaker and look through the songs I have. "Is there something you want in particular?"

"No," she doesn't help me to pick. I get away from her and lie down on the bed to not feel my erection against her anymore, and I choose one special song I like. 'Cigarettes after sex - Apocalypse'.

A look from her grasps my attention. "I love that song a lot..." she mentions it with a soft look on her face. "I love it too, I listened to that a lot of times."

"Me too..." she tells me in a low voice. I smile but look up at the ceiling, closing my eyes out of exhaustion at this moment. That's the first time I'm spending some free time with her. "Do you know why I wanted you to come here?" I speak out but lay my eyes on her. "No..."

I remain silent for some seconds, the answer not leaving my mouth yet as the reasons I should give are too numerous. "How do you feel at your house? With your stepbrother?" I don't reply but only deviate from the subject. "Why are you asking me that...?"

"Because...I'm worried..." I tell her the truth but to my biggest relief, she doesn't show any uneasiness about this but stay neutral. "Someone talked about him and...that he once kissed your neck in public but that you weren't comfortable..."

"Uh?" she frowns but sets me in some doubt. "We're close to each other but he never kissed my neck, he would never do that..."

"Really? But someone said they saw you with him in front of the school and that he kissed your neck...that wasn't true...?" I know wonder what it false and not, tending to believe her more than other people. "I...I don't know if it was that day but this once happened in front of the school. However, he didn't kiss my neck but cheek. I would feel awkward if he kisses my neck."

"But...why does he seem closer than he should to you...?" I dare to ask now that we dived in this conversation. "He's like this since I was dumped. I cried so much that he can barely leave me alone with a boy anymore...He hugs and kisses me a lot but we often fight because he's too overprotective."

My heart is suddenly released from a heavy weight of fear. Dammit. "Jeez..." I heave a sight but inch closer to her, to rest my head on her shoulder blade and embrace her body. I can't tell her that I thought she was being molested by her stepbrother or having a sort of sexual relationship with him, I can only feel extremely relieved silently. I listen to the song and close my eyes to enjoy this moment full of peace of mind.

"Nonetheless...I sometimes want to never go home..." this ataraxia ends with a simple contradiction. "Why?" my eyes open but I keep my hand on her back, to pay attention to her answer. "I have a lot of problems in my head...and...I know my parents are tired of me so...I feel like their life would be easier without me and I sometimes just want to leave...far away..." her words break my heart, this sorrowful voice of her deepening the pain.

I move my head back and put it right before hers, holding it with my left hand that I had to withdraw from her. "How can you say that...? Your parents seemed cool and caring..."

"They are but...sometimes they use a lot of hurtful words and since I know this is caused by the exhaustion of having to deal with me and my mental issues...I wish I could leave them alone...a lot of people call me sick or immature because of what I have in my head...ugly and fat too and..." a sigh slips out of her mouth. "And...I don't know...I just sometimes want to die..." some glisten appearing in her eyes, she lowers it down to the mattress and conceals her features in her arms. My heart is like pounding so hard it hurts me. "Look at me y/n."

"Jungkook..." her voice breaks under her anguish but she still looks at me. "I hate myself...a lot of people judge me because of how I am...they keep on calling me dumb and weak because I'm never able to defend myself when someone hurts me and I'm called sensitive because I easily get hurt by words so I feel like the dumbest and worthless person ever—"

"Stop this..." I put an end to this pain, rubbing her back comfortingly. "What about me, y/n?" the tone of my voice loses its steadiness as my emotions are overwhelming. "Do you know what you mean to me? How I would feel if you were not there anymore?"

She shakes her head as some tears are rolling down her face with her eyes gazing down. "You're important to me, more than anyone in my life with my mother. About those people who fucking dare to call you weak and dumb, give them all the problems you have in your head and then only allow them to have a fucking word to say about you. They're just immature and uneducated, they're the dumb ones for talking about a person like that. If someone calls you that again, if a girl plays it all mighty and smart in front of you, calling you weak and dumb just because you can't defend yourself or feel insecure, you tell me who is it and I'll go beat the shit out of that fucking bitch to show her and make her feel what it is to be scared of someone. If she's not smart enough to understand that you're not her and won't react like her then I'll gladly make her shut her mouth and make her regret it all her life for hurting you. I wish I could kill all those self-centered hoes," I clench my jaw but glance away, the wrath taking over me.

"Do you remember when I was in the subway...with the guy who touched me...?" she snivels but wipes her tears away and I nod. "That often happens and...I can never react but just try to go away...I'm scared to get hit by them or worse and I'm like taken by my fright when it happens...like...my heart beats so fast that it hurts and I feel dizzy...so I feel even worse..."

"The ones who should feel bad are the fucking louses blaming you and calling you weak," I correct her thoughts that must be hurting her. "If they can defend themselves then good for them but you're not them. They just live in their own little world thinking that everyone is like them, that they're smart and tough when I'm pretty sure they're nothing like it. And most of the time, they talk a lot because they're behind their screens but if they were really in that type of situation, they would not say the same again. But yeah...that's way easier to blame a victim than to help her, only bitches would do that, not the smart and mature people who understand how someone can feel different and have their own feelings and reactions. People nowadays call themselves blunt and they think that's hot or cool but that's just a way to make their low self-esteem go away by judging others and bringing them down. They're simply ill-mannered and disrespectful but that's a trend lately..."

"But...I wish I could do something...I thought I would be able to defend myself but each time it happens again and that I'm in front of someone scaring me...I'm paralyzed..my heart seriously hurts as if I was having a heart attack and I hate it...." she looks up into my eyes with her glistened ones while I'm enraged by those words. I cannot believe people can still be so disgusting. "Y/n...imagine watching a video of those girls who are being harassed or beaten up or even raped...those ones who can't react but feel scared and totally hopeless...imagine some people calling them weak and dumb for not doing anything, just the thought of it makes me want to vomit and wish they could just get erased from this world. Never in my life, I would say to a girl who can't defend herself that she's dumb or that it's her fault, I would feel hurt and wish to be there for her but that's called being educated. So do not listen to them anymore, I'm going to help you with this and I'm going to show you you're strong."

She silently cries but moves onto the bed to inch closer and put her arm around me to have her face in my chest. This aches me to see her like that. I hug her back and press my lips on her ear. "I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you again."

"I want to be strong..." her faint voice fills the room. "You are strong, otherwise you would already have given up with all the problems in your head and situations you have to face. My girl is strong and the ones telling her the opposite should never come across me," I peck her head and hold her tight against me. I know how she is and I want to be the one there to make her feel good and safe.

10 minutes later...

"What are the problems you have in your head...?" I run my fingers through her hair, my arm staying under her head as we're lying down on the bed side by side. "You never talked about it..." I turn my head to gaze at her.

"Lots of things..." her faint voice leaves her lips. "Low self-esteem...anorexia...depression that keeps on coming back...and...anxiety, serious anxiety that ruins my life..." she reveals what I thought she would keep to herself. "The pills you saw me taking the other day...this is caused by my anxiety and heart problem because it beats too fast...if I don't take them in those types of situations I'll have a panic attack and I have two types of pills. One that I have to take every day for my heart, blood pressure and all, then one that I absolutely have to take once I know I'm gonna have a panic attack...so yeah...I'm a mess..."

"A beautiful mess..." I bop her nose. "That's the title of a song..." I smile but hide the fact I meant those three words. "That breaks my heart to know you have to deal with this...I wish I could do something..."

"You do something..." her eyes meet mine. "When you're with me...I feel safe and better...even if this doesn't help to the full, this still makes me feel better."

"Then I'm gonna stay with you all the time. Even if this will make Jisung jealous—" I stop myself as I realize I just let myself talk too much. "I mean...yeah...whatever."

"He told me...don't worry..." she lets out but gets me to be shocked. I wouldn't have believed to hear this, I thought Jisung would keep on waiting to confess. "Oh...he told you...?"

"Yeah...that hurt me to tell him the truth but we're still friends so that's fine..." she smiles with some difficulty as if she was taking it. "You don't feel the same I guess?"

"I don't..." she shakes her head but looks up at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes. I comb her hair but keep my gaze fixed on her. I cannot even ask if she's still in love with that 'unknown' guy since I think I know who he is. "Is your heart problem dangerous?"

"No and even less with my pills. I'm not like...sick or about to die or something...I'm fine but just suffer from some problems because of the anorexia I went through and also my anxiety but now I gained weight again so...my parents are glad about it but I feel worse..." her feelings go out right before my eyes as I wish I were strong enough to take all this away from her. "I know my words won't change the way you think but...to me...you're pretty and kinda...hot..."

My sentence brings her eyes to me as if she was astonished by it. "And I'm not saying that just because I'm your best friend. I'm sincere and...I'm not the only one thinking like that. If you want to know, some people also call me ugly so...we don't care about what haters and dumbasses say, the most important is to be loved by at least one person."

She smiles but looks away. "Yeah...you're right..."

"But I'm gonna build that confidence into you, don't worry," I skim her warm cheek with my fingers. "Do you easily trust people?" she looks into my eyes. "Well...honestly...I don't know...maybe. What about you?"

She shakes her head. "I can't even trust my own family so...yeah...but that's something people keep on judging me for..."

"Those people are shits," I shrug but toy with her hair. "This is something serious but most people don't know about that. I know it can be scary to trust someone, you're scared to be hurt, you're scared to be taken for a damn fool and be the toy of a person but that's not you're fault. I barely trust girls anymore...I've been fooled way too many times. People who judge you for who you are, you stand before them and tell them to go fuck themselves. I'd rather be like you than easily trust people and then let them have me easily. And anyway, if you love someone, you have to be a bit patient as well to understand the one who loves you. If it's obvious she's into you but just feels too scared to be hurt and has some difficulties to trust you for some reason, you show her and let her take the time she needs if she's really in love with you and not a bitch. But yeah...if you trust a guy they're gonna call you an easy girl and if you don't, a stupid and annoying girl who plays it hard to get so fuck people and live the way you want."

"I feel like people easily judge nowadays...that's why I'd rather have been born a bit more in the past...with no social media...and that kind of thing..." she fiddles with her top while talking in her delicate voice. "Would you mind coming to the gym with me for self-defense? I'll help you and we'll stay alone to do it if you want..."

"Really? We could do that?" she shows some enthusiasm about it which relieves me, and I nod. "Yeah. You could come with me at night and I'll give you self-defense classes."

"I'd like it to happen...that would help me a lot," she agrees to it, making me happy as hell about this. "Great, we can start tomorrow if you want."

"Alright," she smiles broadly at the news and finally shows some bright emotions I love to perceive on her face. "Oh...wait..." I delicately move my arm away from under her head. "My blood is not flowing well anymore," I grin but turn around to lie down on my flat and retrieve my bag of Doritos. "Do you want some?" I lean it towards her but she refuses. "Why?"

"I have to lose weight..." she says without realizing how much I hate to hear this. I grab a chip but head it to her mouth. "Open. You need to gain some weight 'cause you're getting unhealthy."

"Your food isn't healthy..." she has a point. "It is...for the brain and happiness," I manage to make my way through this argument but she still shakes her head. "My kitten..." I rub the snack over her lips to put the spices on them but she smiles and moves her head away. "Stop calling me kitten, it reminds me of a guy I hate..." she likes her lips to remove what I spread on them but I leave her alone, my mom is going to feed her well anyway. "Which guy?"

"One who took me for granted when I wasn't even in love with him, he kept on being too exaggeratingly cheesy and weird and I couldn't stand it anymore..." she gets another guy in the story when she keeps on telling me no one finds her pretty. I chew on my snacks but stare at her. "What about you though...? I talked about myself until now...I wanna hear some about you..."

"Holy shit," I raise my eyebrows. "You wouldn't want to know more about me," I lay my eyes on my phone to change the song who's been playing on repeat but still pick the same singer. "But I want to know you more, even if it's bad, I also told you about my bad side..."

I smile but look back at her. "Ask me questions and I'll answer them," I let her start since I don't know what to begin with.