So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls I can't break through

Chapter 23 ~ The Story of Us

Max Caldwell

"Smile!"

Trey's hand snaked around my waist as he tugged me closer to him, allowing me to relish in the smell of his heavy-doused cologne. I wasn't really comfortable with Trey holding me so close, but I had to bear it for a few more seconds until my mom took the picture.

"Maxxie, you're not smiling!" my mother sang in a cheery voice. I wanted to roll my eyes at her over-excitement. She was like most mothers who wanted to capture the important milestones of their children's life, except she was far worse. She woke me up at eight thirty in the morning to get ready for an event that started at seven at night. If that wasn't bad enough, she spent a total of twenty minutes trying to set up the house for a full-on photo shoot.

"I am smiling," I spat at her.

She looked away from the viewfinder and gave me a patronizing gaze. "I mean give me a real smile with your teeth."

I felt Trey chuckling beside me. "Mom," I whined.

"Stop complaining and smile," she retaliated as her attention shifted to my dad, whose arms were folded against his chest in disapproval. "Honey, can you fix Maxxie's tie?"

He huffed. "His tie looks fine."

My mom's stare turned cold and unfriendly in the matter of milliseconds. "Honey, can you fix Maxxie's tie?" she repeated in a much more threatening voice.

Dad released a heavy sigh and stalked over to me reluctantly. A slight frown crept onto his face as he adjusted the position of my black bow tie. Ever since my mom kicked him out to rethink his actions, he was always in a sulking mood. He never really smiled anymore and I felt horrible for being the source of his misery.

I never doubted for one second that my father loved me. I knew he did. He just didn't approve of my lifestyle. I didn't know the reason - it wasn't religious - but whatever it was, he stood by it. Maybe he could accept that I was different, but he just didn't like seeing it, and going to prom with another boy wasn't making it any easier on him.

"There," he said when he was finished. "It's good now."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, dad."

He nodded in response and walked back to my mother's side.

She clapped her hands in excitement and ducked behind the camera. "Okay, now smile!"

Desperately wanting to escape this pointless torture, I smiled the biggest smile I could muster up and waited for the camera to flash.

"Great! That's beautiful. Trey, you're quite the photogenic one, aren't ya?" she questioned with a wink.

Trey laughed along with her. "What can I say? I like having my picture taken."

I noticed Trey's hand was still securely placed on my waist and it was venturing lower by the second.

"Trey."

He retracted his hand almost immediately. "Sorry."

My mom rushed to our side and placed her manicured hands on our shoulders. "Okay, you guys be good! No drugs and no alcohol."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, mom."

I suspected a sloppy, motherly kiss was coming, but I didn't dodge it in time. "And have fun!"

"But not too much fun," my dad pitched in with a low growl.

Trey threw a careless arm around my shoulder as I wiped away the kiss from my cheek and flashed his brilliant smile at my mother. "I'll have him back by one."

She pointed an accusing finger in his face. "You better."

I gave another playful eye roll and hastily grabbed onto Trey's hand, practically dragging him out of the house and to his car to escape any further humiliation. Even though I despised my mothers antics, I knew it wouldn't even compare to how people would look at us when we arrived. I had been the target of years of remorseless bullying, and I didn't want Trey to suffer the same fate.

But Trey didn't seem to let this possibility faze him. If it did, he did a pretty good job at hiding it, because when he pulled into the school parking lot and tugged the key out of the ignition, he smiled at me. "You ready?"

I adverted my gaze to the heterosexual couples walking up to the main entrance and gulped. "No."

His smile slowly faded and his thick brows furrowed. "Why not?"

"We'll be the only gay couple."

Trey scoffed. "No, we won't. Scar and Jamie will be there."

"Okay, but everyone's scared of them," I added, "nobody is scared of a sophomore who weighs ninety pounds, and this ninety pound sophomore can't defend himself!"

He stared back at me for a long while before sighing. "Max, no one is going to do anything to you. I'll make sure of it."

I had no doubts that Trey was capable of fighting - I mean, he was a football player for god's sake - but I wanted to keep the violence to a minimum. "Well, what about you? Everyone will think that you're gay."

He lifted a brow. "I am gay."

"Yeah, but-"

"Max!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, making my heart skip a beat. "I am well aware of what people will think, and that's not the reason why I asked you to be my date. I wanted you to stop getting lost in your head and just let loose. Can you do that for me?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, hopelessly trying to get my shit together. When I reopened my eyes, Trey was staring back at me with a hopeful look in his deep brown eyes.

"Yes," I answered, lips twitching into a small smile.

Trey stuffed the keys into his pocket and propped the door open. "Okay, let's go break some hearts."

A wave of confidence that I never had before swept over me and I found myself stepping out of the car with a new-found conviction. Trey circled around to my side and held out his hand. After a brief moment of staring blankly at his hand, I grinned and placed my hand in his. Our fingers intertwined as we ambled to the main doors of the school.

We breezed past the entrance with ease, ignoring all the stares that people were sending our way. There was no doubt this would be the talk of the school on Monday, but I didn't care. For the first in my life, I wasn't thinking about other people. I was thinking about me for a change.

And that felt really good.

Once we handed our tickets to the bouncer, we strolled into the gym. The hardwood floors practically vibrated from the loud music blaring through the DJ's speakers. Chinese lanterns hung from the ceiling, illuminating the dance floor with a soft orange light. Round tables lined the perimeter of the gym, each topped with a glowing flower pot centerpiece. That, and the vines that clung onto the bleachers and spread across the floor completed the central theme of an enchanted garden.

"This is beautiful," I said aloud, voicing my thoughts.

"Yeah." Trey released my hand and focused his attention on something in the distance. "Find us a table. I'll get us something to drink."

I nodded and set out to search for an empty table. As I passed the occupied tables, I couldn't help but notice all the curious stares. Not only that, but some people even paused their conversations when I walked by, making it more than obvious they were talking about me. Deciding to ignore them, I continued to walk to the vacant table in the corner of the gym. I slid into one of the chairs and watched as everyone else enjoyed themselves.

"Hey!" I heard someone call out.

I squeezed my eyes shut and silently hoped whoever it was wasn't talking to me. Taking a deep breath, I spun around and prepared myself for all the teasing and taunting that was about to follow, but I was relieved when I saw Jamie smiling at me with Scar attached his side.

"You look great," he exclaimed.

His long blond hair was gelled back and pushed behind his ears, and he wore a black suit with a cardinal red tie. In an attempt to look like the perfect couple, Scar matched him by wearing a cardinal red suit and a black tie.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but thought better of it. "Thanks. You guys look good, too."

Scar brought his cup up to his lips to take a sip of the liquid inside. He swirled the cup around as his blue-green eyes overlooked his surroundings. "This is kinda lame," he commented.

My mouth fell open in complete shock. "Are you kidding? This is fucking beautiful!"

He raised a brow and gave a low chuckle. "Says the sophomore attending the senior prom."

Jamie nudged him in the side, and he rolled his eyes in response. "What he means is that all the cool people usually skip the whole dancing part and go straight to having sex in the bathroom since the teachers are only monitoring the gym. No one actually comes to prom to dance and drink punch."

A frown settled on my face. Of course, I'd be the last one to know about the tricks and trades of prom night. "Well, obviously you guys aren't cool enough because you're still here."

Scar took another sip of his drink and pulled his lips into a teasing smirk. "We already had sex in the bathroom."

My lip curled in disgust. "Of course."

"We might do another round, later," Scar glanced at Jamie, "if you're up for it?"

Jamie scoffed and tugged his lips into a silly smile. "Patterson, I'm always up for it."

I couldn't believe that I had to witness this. "Okay, you can stop rubbing your sex life in my face."

Scar finished off his drink and tossed the empty cup to the floor, disregarding the fact that the prom committee worked so hard on the decorations. "Trey is your date?"

I nodded.

"What ever happened to that other guy?" He questioned. "You know, that dude that was supposed to be at your birthday party but wasn't? Is he even real or did you just make him up?"

I bit into my bottom lip so hard that I was sure I started to draw blood.

Noticing my sudden distress, Jamie stomped on Scar's foot.

Scar instinctively recoiled and shot his boyfriend a heated glare, gritting his teeth together. "What the hell?"

"Shut up," Jamie snapped.

He hissed in response. "Fucking hell."

Jamie threw a comforting arm around his boyfriend and flashed me a quick smile. "We'll be going now before he says something stupid again. Hope you have fun!"

They were already walking away before I could respond - not like I wanted to, anyway. I had gone the whole night thus far without thinking about Liam, but that stupid meathead had to bring him up. Especially since I was patiently waiting for Trey to return and had nothing or no one to guide my thoughts, my mind was starting to wander.

Thankfully, Trey appeared from behind a group of teenage girls with two drinks in his hands and made his way to me, a growing smile on his face. "Sorry, the line was long."

I smiled as he handed me one of the cups. "Thanks."

He sipped his drink and slid into the seat opposite me. "Are you having fun?"

I looked down at my drink and shrugged. "Can't tell yet."

His mouth twisted into a pout. "Is there anything I can do?"

My eyes scanned over the students already tearing up the dance floor, and then returned back to Trey, who was patiently awaiting my response. "Yeah, dance with me."

Without waiting for confirmation, I stood from my seat, grabbed onto his hands, and pulled him toward the crowd. We found a spot in the midst of everyone else and I started to let loose immediately, swaying my hips to the current Demi Lovato song playing, but Trey was hesitant.

"What's the matter?" I questioned with a flirty brow raised.

He watched me for a full minute, debating on what to say next. "Uh, I don't really ..." His next words were too soft for me to hear with the loud music pounding in my ears.

"What!" I yelled over the music as I threw my hands up in the air and shook my ass.

"I don't know ..." He tried to clarify, but he still wasn't loud enough.

I craned my neck closer to him. "What! I can't hear you!"

He groaned. "I don't know how to dance!"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Nonsense!" I wrapped my arms around Trey's neck and moved my body to the beat, forcing him to move along with me. "Just feel the music. Be the music. You are the music!"

He threw his hands at his sides in exasperation. "That doesn't make any sense!"

I pressed a finger against his lips to silence him. "Sshh, just dance with me."

I had gotten so lost in the rhythm of the music that I hadn't even realized that the people around us weren't dancing anymore. They stood still with their hateful eyes staring at us like we were some kind of alien species. I didn't know if Trey noticed it too, but he kept on attempting to dance like his life depended on it. His hands trailed down my arms and stopped at my hips, where they remained for the rest of the song.

Yeah, that's right. Fuck you, Summer Hill High School! Fuck you.

The song changed to a slow song and suddenly, everyone went back to minding their own business. I breathed out a sigh of relief and buried my head into Trey's neck as we moved together from side to side, matching the slow tempo.

"Thank you so much," I whispered into his ear.

"For what?"

"For doing this for me," I replied. "I'm so sorry for being mean to you and saying that I hated you. I don't hate you, Trey. You're like the bestest best friend ever and I love you so much."

A small smile curved his lips. "I love you, too."

I gazed up at him, his dark eyes burning into mine. I wasn't quite sure what I was trying to do until I stood on my toes and planted my lips on his. Trey didn't waste any time relaxing into the kiss and enclosed his arms around my waist, pulling me a little closer. Our lips started to move together slowly, matching the tempo of the song. We kissed like that for a full minute, nothing more and nothing less.

When he pulled away, Trey looked down at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. "What was that for?"

I shrugged carelessly.

He shook his head in disbelief. "You know you aren't helping with the fact that I have a crush on you, right?"

"I know, I know." I playfully rolled my eyes at him. "That just felt like the right thing to do in the moment."

Trey gave me a skeptical look for quick a second before a smug grin appeared on his face. "It did feel right."

I wanted to say something snarky in return, but ended up smiling instead. Who needed a boyfriend when I had an amazing best friend?

Time passed this way, with us holding each other and losing ourselves in the beauty of the moment. As the song neared its end, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Fully expecting it to be Jamie again, I peered over my shoulder and gasped when I saw Liam's sea green eyes staring back at me.

Unconsciously, I ripped myself out of Trey's arms even though I shouldn't have cared what Liam thought about it.

He was dressed for the occasion with his black tux and accentuating black tie, but he didn't look as put together as everyone else. It seemed as though he had gotten dressed at the last minute and rushed over here.

"We need to talk," he said.

If looks could kill, I'm sure Liam would be long dead by now based on the way I was staring him down. "What? No. You can't just keep following me everywhere and keep ruining my life. We're not together, Liam. Leave me alone."

Liam looked at me like he wasn't even listening to a word I was saying. "I need to talk to you about something important."

Trey stepped in front of me. "He said leave him alone."

Liam tilted his head to the side, looking at Trey with perplexity. I knew that look all too well and knowing what he was capable of when he was under the influence, I didn't want him to put Trey in the hospital.

Sighing, I gave Trey a look that said it was okay. "What's so important?" I asked Liam. I could pretend like I didn't want to talk to Liam, but I would be lying to myself.

He was still staring at Trey when he responded, "Private. We need to talk in private."

"No," Trey objected. "I'm not going to let you play with his heart, again!"

I knew by the look on Liam's face that he was seconds away from clocking Trey in the nose.

"Trey," I said in an effort to get him to step down. "I'll just see what he wants, and I'll be back."

Trey had a hard time letting go, but he did eventually. With a nod, he stepped back. "Okay."

Liam rolled his eyes in irritation and snatched onto my wrist before he bolted for the exit. He pushed past the double doors and led us down a hallway until we reached the boys' locker room, where he finally let go of me. Getting straight to the point, he retrieved a medium sized leather book from his coat pocket and held it up for me to see. "This is Scotty's journal."

You've got to be kidding me. He was ruining my prom night for his stupid ex-boyfriend? "Are you fucking serious?"

"Hear me out," he said quickly, as though he expected my response. "I read his journal from cover to cover and his last entry was on the day before he died." He flipped the book to one of the pages. "Look, it says, 'I'm pumped for the soccer game tonight. Coach is finally gonna put me in as striker, and my baby will be there to watch me play. We made a deal that every goal I make will count for how many times he has to pay for dinner.'"

I could feel my blood boiling beneath the surface of my skin. "Wow," I said, faking enthusiasm, "thanks for telling me about your adventures with Scotty, jerk."

I turned to leave, but Liam grabbed my hand. "Wait, you're missing the point. This was his last entry and the day after, he killed himself. It doesn't make sense. Nothing in this book shows signs of contemplating suicide, and he was very personal in here! He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that to his parents and he wouldn't do that to me."

I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I couldn't. Not when he was telling me sad stories when I was meant to be having a good time.

"So what?" I inquired. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I need to know more," he whispered to himself. "Marcy has the box filled with Scotty's stuff at her house. We can sneak into her room and see if there's anything in there that can help me understand why he did this."

I crossed my arms. "Marcy? The girl who got Matt to rearrange my face, Marcy? Scary Marcy?"

He didn't even bother to answer my question. "Come on, let's go before the night is over."

"Whoa, wait!" I held my hands up. "I'm not coming with you."

Liam blinked in surprise. "Why not?"

Was he stupid or something? "Why not? It's prom! I was having a really good time in there and Trey's waiting for me and in case you didn't realize, you've been nothing but a jerk to me."

Liam's eyes grew dark with anger and before I could register it, he reached out and gripped onto my wrists, tightly. "This isn't about you or me! This is about Scotty!"

I let out a slight yelp at the searing pain shooting through my arm. "Liam, you're hurting me."

It took him a moment to realize what he was doing, and he let go immediately. "Sorry," he apologized as he took a step away from me.

"I'm not going," I stated. "Scotty was your boyfriend, not mine. You want to play detective? Do it yourself. I'm not getting my face smashed in on prom night."

Liam raked a hand through his hair and started to pace in the narrow hallway. "I need you," he admitted. "I need you with me."

"Why?" I asked, even though it came out like a desperate cry. He had yet to tell me why I should care about any of this.

"I need you to keep me sane," he explained as he grasped onto my shoulders and shook me like he was trying to knock some sense into me. "So many thoughts are running through my head right now and I'm seconds away from going crazy. You're the only one who can keep me from losing it."

"But why me!" I shouted at him.

"Because I'm only me when I'm with you!" He fired back with just as much volume, if not, more.

I fell silent, not exactly knowing what to say in response to that.

"Please," he continued when he realized I wasn't going to reply, "please, help me, Max."

I really had no idea where I inherited my soft backbone from. More often than not, I could never stand my ground. I was practically a marshmallow when it came to anything that was the slightest bit romantic, and this time was no different.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, fine."

He broke into a full grin. "Thank you!"

I opened my mouth to add something else, but Liam was already pulling me in the direction of the exit. As soon as we pushed past the doors, we were greeted by a gust of warm wind. The sky was pitch black, not leaving any remnant of the orange light from the sunset of when we had arrived. We hastily trotted down the main steps and breezed through the parking lot in search of Liam's Audi. Time was of the essence, according to Liam, who had sped out of the school campus before I could put my seatbelt on.

"I hate that you have this weird effect on me," I pointed out as soon as we hit the main highway.

Liam glanced at me. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm trying really hard to be mad at you and then you do something like this..." I trailed off when I realized I didn't want to get too into my feelings.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I didn't plan this."

"I know you didn't," I sighed. "I'm just really pathetic is all."

"You're not pathetic," he assured me. "You're far from it, actually."

I didn't know if he knew how that made me feel. No matter how much I told myself I was over him, I definitely wasn't. I was fucking in love with him, for god's sake.

After a uncomfortable moment of silence, I asked, "How did Scotty ... You know?"

I watched as Liam swallowed a lump in his throat, still trying to keep his composure. "Drug overdose. It's stupid, actually. Scotty didn't do drugs aside from the pain medication he took when he got injured from soccer."

"Maybe they belonged to his parents."

He was silent for a moment, thinking over the possibility, and then he shrugged. "Whatever."

We pulled into Marcy's driveway only minutes later. There were no other cars in the driveway and the lights in the house were off. I started to wonder if Liam knew what he was doing, because I wasn't interested in getting arrested.

"Her parents are away on vacation," he told me like he had just read my mind. "I know the password to the alarm system."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "But what about Marcy?"

He got out of the car and circled around to open my door. "She's at prom. She shouldn't be coming home anytime soon."

I took his word for it and followed him as he trudged up the driveway to the front door. He knelt to the ground and retrieved a spare key from under the welcome mat, a much too obvious hiding place if you asked me. In the matter of seconds, we stepped into the house and Liam disabled the alarm system.

I had to admit. I was scared out of my mind. I was never a fan of breaking the rules and doing things that I wasn't supposed to, but Liam did it like it was nothing. He seemed to have an unlimited access to drugs and he had a blatant disregard for breaking into other people's houses.

Was I seriously in love with a bad boy?

I trailed behind Liam as he climbed the staircase and entered the second room on the right. He flicked the light switch on and continued to venture into the room, while I was still stuck on the fact that Marcy had a really girly room. I never expected that from her. Granted, I didn't really know her, but she didn't exactly give a good first impression.

The room was painted a light shade of lavender and the walls were mostly adorned with photographs of her and her friends. Liam was in most of them, along with a black haired boy that I didn't recognize. I picked up a framed photograph of the trio on her bedside table and examined it. The black haired boy was actually quite attractive with his bright blue eyes and soft, friendly smile. I knew nothing about him, but he made me want to know him.

I glanced over at Liam who had already began to rummage through a cardboard box. "Is this Scotty?"

He didn't look back at me, but somehow, he knew. "Yes."

I looked at the picture again. The more I stared at it, the more I realized I looked nothing like Scotty. He was gorgeous in every single way possible and I wasn't.

I was awkward, small, weak and skinny with an average face and average hair and average eyes. Nothing about me was intriguing.

Yet, Liam went from dating a beautiful specimen like Scotty, to dating a weird kid who still liked superheroes.

The house shuddered as a crackle of thunder echoed outside, making me jump in surprise. When I realized it was just the weather and not someone shooting me to death, I relaxed a bit.

Liam was still intent on finding whatever he expected to find in the box.

I walked over to his side and hovered over his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm-" He stopped mid-sentence when his hand brushed against something shiny. He pulled the object out of the box and held it up to the light. It was a silver necklace with a heart pendant. "This is Marcy's necklace."

I frowned, not getting the point. "Yeah, and?"

His brows pulled together in confusion. "What's it doing in the box of Scotty's stuff?" he asked himself.

I shrugged. "Maybe it dropped."

"No." He shook his head violently. "Marcy never took this off. The only way you'd get her to take it off was to rip it from her neck." He examined the silver necklace a little longer before adding, "look, the clasp is broken."

I could tell Liam was getting into his own mind and I had no way of decoding whatever he was thinking, so I just plopped onto Marcy's plush bed and patiently waited for this to be over. My eyes drifted to the picture of Scotty again, silently admiring his undeniable beauty, but a small orange bottle caught my attention instead.

I grabbed the bottle and twisted it around to read the label.

I looked at Liam. "You said Scotty died of an overdose?"

He didn't respond verbally, but he nodded.

I looked at the label again. "It's very hard to overdose on prescription pills," I said aloud.

Liam didn't turn around to face me. "Okay?"

"Unless you combine it with another kind of medication," I added.

Finally, Liam turned around to face me with an curious eyebrow raised. "What are you talking about?"

"Scotty took pain medication, you said."

He nodded slowly. "Yes?"

I twisted the orange bottle in my hands and chewed on my lip thoughtfully. "Maybe he died because he took too much of two types of pills that don't go together, like the pain medication and anti-anxiety pills."

Liam couldn't look anymore confused. "What are you talking about? Scotty didn't take anti-anxiety pills."

I thumbed the prescription bottle between my fingers as I thought it over some more. When I finally came to my conclusion, I held up the bottle for Liam to see.

"Yeah, but Marcy does."

**

a/n: I worked really hard on this chapter to make it the way it is, and if I wrote it successfully, then it should have taken you through at least three different emotions.

So there's really only one question to ask : What the hell is going on?

It was very hard finding a Taylor song that fit this chapter, so the song to the side is kinda random. If you enjoyed this chapter, don't forget to vote and comment because that makes me smile really big.

Until next time,
Lara <3