Don't worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

Chapter 10 ~ Ours

     Max Caldwell

As I twisted the combination into my locker, I couldn't help but feel anything other than happy.

Knowing there weren't any other secrets between Liam and I put me in a great mood. I had finally gotten him to open up about his past, and it felt amazing to know something so important and instrumental to Liam's well-being.

After months and months of searching, I had finally found the one - even if he was a bit broken inside. Any complications could be looked over. All that mattered was I had someone who actually wanted me in return. No more douchebags who only wanted sex. Liam was going to be different and I was absolutely sure of it this time.

As soon as I clicked open my locker, a strong hand slammed it shut. Releasing a frustrated grin and forcing myself to meet Matt's scrutinizing gaze, I spat, "Jerk."

He returned to school, after spending a day at home to recover. One would think the bandage taped to the bridge of his nose would make him look vulnerable, but it only made him look scarier. "Did you miss me?"

"Hardly," I retorted as I entered my locker combination into the dial again. "I see you're doing fine."

"Yeah," he said, "your little friend completely shattered my nose. The docs had to rebuild it."

I stifled a laugh. "Looks like karma finally caught up to you."

Matt's bright blue eyes darkened. "Look, I just wanted to say thanks for, uh, helping me. It was very nice of you."

Once I finally got my locker open again, I began to gather my books for my next class. "No need to thank me. I did it because it was the right thing to do, not because of you."

"Right." He kept his gaze on me. "Anyway, I was thinking over these past few days, and I have decided not to bother you anymore."

I glanced up at him. "Really?"

He narrowed his gaze and pressed his lips firmly together. "This doesn't mean we're friends now or anything. If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

"What conversation?" I questioned with a raised brow.

Matt cracked a smile as he patted my back, a bit too harshly. "Thanks, and this one's for the road."

"What are you-" I was cut off when Matt knocked all of my books and binders out of my hands. He didn't utter so much as an apology as he strolled off, becoming lost in the sea of fellow students.

I cursed under my breath as I knelt to the floor to pick up my things. Many people passed me by, but they didn't even bother to look twice at me. Shaking my head in disbelief, I rose to my feet with all my scattered papers stuffed underneath my armpit and slammed my locker shut.

I started to head to my class but stopped myself in my tracks when I saw Jamie walking alongside his boyfriend, Scar. The two of them seemed to be engaged in a deep conversation about something that probably wasn't all that important. Jamie's gaze caught mine for a brief second, and he smiled, then continued to talk to Scar.

My grip on my backpack straps tightened. I really didn't know why I was still hung up over Jamie when I already knew I was perfectly fine with Liam. He didn't use me. He didn't talk to me only when it was convenient for him. He didn't play with my heart.

Suppressing a sigh, I pushed past all the incoming traffic in the hallway. I wrapped my arms around myself as I shuffled around groups of people, who obviously weren't planning to move anytime soon, in opes of arriving to my class on time.

Just as I rounded the corner to enter the math hallway, I felt a strong hand snake around my arm and pull me in an unknown direction. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by nothing but darkness in a small space that smelled an awful lot like bleach. Panicking, I squirmed against the body of the person who dragged me into this tight space and desperately tried to find the exit. The light clicked on and I turned to face who I thought was going to be Freddy Krueger, but turned out out to be Trey.

"What is wrong with you!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I shoved him away from me. "I thought you were a kidnapper!"

Trey gazed back at me with his dark eyes twinkling with amusement. "A kidnapper? Really?"

I gave him a cold glare before shoving him against the stack of shelves filled with cleaning supplies behind him. "Fucking asshole," I spat bitterly. "I have to get to class."

He grabbed onto my wrist before I could reach for the doorknob. "Wait, I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I stressed. "Why can't it wait until later? Why do we have to talk about it in the closet?"

His lips twitched into a small smile. "Remember Eric?"

I wiggled out of his grasp on my hands. "That creep you met online?"

He nodded slowly. "Well, we're going on our third date this weekend and-"

"Wait, what?" My eyes practically jumped out of my sockets. "You had a first date with Eric and you didn't tell me? Trey, he could have been a catfish! Why the hell would you go out with him without telling me first?"

Trey tilted his head. "If I had told you, would you have let me go?"

"Probably not, but-"

"But it doesn't matter," he finished for me. "He's not a catfish, and he's actually pretty cool."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Okay, now what's the problem?"

"I want you to have sex with me."

He said it with such ease and seriousness that I was pretty sure he had to be joking. "What?" I laughed.

He continued with, "I'm going to have sex with him and I don't want to look like a complete idiot when I do."

My chest ached with frustration. "You know, you're a real jerk. Stop messing with me."

"I'm not messing with you," he replied. "You know that I'm still a butt virgin and-"

I scoffed. "Wait, you want to bottom?"

Trey blinked at me and began to rub his temples. "I don't know, okay? I don't know anything. That's why I want you to help me, so things can go smoothly when it actually happens."

I fought with myself over whether or not I should say anything, because him and I both knew how stupid this proposal was. "Ask Google."

Trey groaned in frustration. "Google can't let me suck his dick and tell me if I'm doing it right or not."

I started to wonder if Trey knew how ridiculous he sounded. Did he really expect me to do this? "Trey, we're friends and I'm not trying to jeopardize that. Besides, I'm with Liam now. Well, not officially, but potentially, and I really like him."

"I'm not asking you to marry me," he pointed out.

"Really? Because it sounds exactly the same. I'm not having sex with you. You clearly need someone to clarify what 'just friends' means."

Trey raised a bushy brow and countered with, "So do you."

I folded my arms against my chest and narrowed my eyes at him. "You're getting on my nerve."

His lips fell into a pleading pout as he clasped his hands together. "Please, Maxxie," he implored. "You'll be the bestest friend in the entire world."

I studied him carefully under my skeptical gaze. I knew how dumb and stupid this was, but the last thing I wanted was Trey to embarrass himself in front of the first guy he's ever been with.

I sighed. "I'll think about it."

"Does that mean yes?"

"It means I'll think about it."

A bright smile curved his lips just as he threw his strong arms around me in a tight bear hug. "Thank you so much, Max. You're a life saver."

I didn't bother to return the hug. "I'm late for class."

"Right. Well, I'll catch up with you later." He flashed me another smile, then threw the closet door open.

As we both shuffled out of the closet, I caught a glimpse of the janitor smiling at me with a suggestive eyebrow raised. Quickly bowing my head to avoid further eye contact, I scurried down the hallway to my classroom.

The rest of the day went by incredibly slow. I couldn't focus in any of my classes because my mind was preoccupied with Trey's stupid idea. When school ended, I didn't bother to meet up with Trey like I usually did. Instead, I darted towards the buses as soon as the last bell of the day rang. I was eager to get my session with Dr. Reis over with and spend the rest of the day texting Liam. I had promised Trey I would "think" about his suggestion, but I already said no in my mind.

I headed over to Dr. Reis' office before heading home, because I wasn't in the mood for any of my parents antics.

I still saw no reason in seeing Dr. Reis every week, especially since there was nothing wrong with me. I fell in love easily, so what? Who didn't? I was a kid with hormones and feelings, so it was bound to happen. I didn't need to be treated for it.

When I strolled into Dr. Reis' office, he was sitting in his swivel chair with a clipboard in hand and wide rimmed glasses hanging off the tip of his nose. Dressed in a fancy suit and his black hair slicked back, Dr. Reis wasn't unattractive. What irritated me about him was the way he just sat in that stupid chair and judged, because that was what his job entailed. He gave advice, sure, but it was the kind of advice that no one listened to anyway.

But regardless, I had to talk to him about something and Liam was the first one to come to mind.

"Liam told me about why he sees you."

He quirked a brow. "Did he?"

I nodded. "Yeah, and I actually wanted to ask your opinion on something."

Dr. Reis folded his hands into his lap. "I can't talk to you about my other patients, Mr. Caldwell."

Another thing that annoyed me about Dr. Reis - he addressed me by my last name. "Okay, whatever, I get that. I'm not asking you to talk about him. I just want to know what I can do to help, you know, fix him."

Dr. Reis analyzed me with his colorless eyes. He heaved a sigh and removed his glasses from his face, clipping them onto his shirt. "You can't fix him, Max. He is the way he is and you're not going to get anywhere with that mindset."

I gasped. "So, you're saying he's always going to be this way?"

He sucked in a deep breath, his eyes lingering away from mine as he thought it over. "It all depends."

I shook my head, refusing to believe what he was telling me. "But I thought it was only because of his boyfriend's death. Once he gets over him, he'll be fine. Won't he?"

He tilted his head to a weary angle, sighing. "Like I said, it depends. I do not wish to continue this conversation, Mr. Caldwell. We are here to talk about you, not him."

He was wrong. He had to be. I knew sadness and grief could last a long time but it couldn't last a lifetime, especially when I had so much to offer Liam if he would just give me the chance. He was into me and I was into him, so why couldn't he make a move?

"I have nothing to say," I replied, short.

"Really? We have fifteen minutes left in our session. I can sit and wait for you to think of something."

I ran an impatient hand through my silky hair. "Honestly I'd rather spend the next fifteen minutes in silence."

Despite my curt attitude, he smiled. "If that's what you want."

I slouched back in my seat with my arms tightly crossed against my chest and my stare hardening with every moment that passed by. Unsettling silence permeated the air as we sat there, just staring at each other. I felt the apprehension prickle my skin, leaving goosebumps behind in their place. Dr. Reis still hadn't stop smiling, and it made this awkward silence even more awkward.

Finally giving into the pressure, I blurted out, "Trey wants me to have sex with him."

His brows rose, illustrating his surprise. I could tell he wasn't expecting me to relay this information, but he was glad that I had decided to talk about something rather than nothing. "Trey? As in, your very close friend, Trey?"

"Yes," I affirmed. "He wants me to show him how it works because he's planning on having sex very soon."

He began to jot down a few notes on his clipboard. "And what do you think of this?"

"I think he's stupid."

He chuckled. "And what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to do anything," I snapped back at him. "Look, I know you're old and you think that sex is taboo and you probably are sitting in that stupid chair judging me for how many times I've had sex and everything of the sort, but I know how to control myself."

He glanced up at me then with his lips pressed together in a firm line and his thumb clicking the end of his pen in annoyance. He was getting irritated with me, but I couldn't care any less. "I never said you couldn't control yourself, Mr. Caldwell. I am simply doing what your parents are paying me for. I can tell that you are clearly frustrated but-"

"Of course I'm frustrated!" I shrieked. "My best friend just asked me the most absurd question ever and now my therapist is telling me that Liam is always going to be hung up over his dead boyfriend."

He waited awhile before responding, "Max."

"Can we cut our session short today?" I questioned with hopeful eyes. "I don't think I can really talk right now."

Dr. Reis clicked his pen again. "Okay, fine. Before you go, though, may I provide you with a word of caution?"

"What is it?"

"As a third party observer and not just your therapist, I don't think being with Liam will be beneficial to either of you. Both of you have your own personal issues that need to be resolved first."

"Who said we were together?"

A faint smile came to his face. "I may be old, Max, but I can assure you that I'm not stupid."

I grounded my teeth together. I was sick and tired of everyone telling me what was best for me. "What do you know about relationships?"

Dr. Reis met my gaze with a dull, weary look in his eyes. He began to reorganize the papers on his desk to prepare himself for his next client. "A lot more than you do," he muttered under his breath. "Have a great evening, Mr. Caldwell."

Heaving myself up from the lounge chair and rolling my eyes deep into my sockets, I trudged over to the exit, internally grateful that our session was over. He might have known about my dilemma, but it wasn't like he could understand it. He couldn't understand how much Liam meant to me. He couldn't understand how much it hurt me to know that Liam was always going to be sad and unhappy.

He could flaunt his stupid degree and give as much advice as he wanted to, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let him dictate my love life.

**

a/n: No Liam this chapter, but we got some more of Dr.Reis, which makes up for it, right??

Next chapter will have quite an important flashback of Scotty and Liam, so be prepared for that.

What do you think of Trey's proposal? Do you think Max will agree to it?

Please don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter. I really enjoy reading all of your comments. And remember, I dedicate chapters to random people who comment!

Until next time,
Lara <3