We're a crooked love

In a straight line down

Chapter 09 ~ I Wish You Would

      Liam Slater

"Hey, what do you think of this one?" Marcy asked, gesturing towards the cherry red jewel-encrusted dress she was wearing as she waltzed out of the dressing room.

It was Monday afternoon and Marcy had practically dragged me out of the house to go dress shopping with her. Normally, I would have told her to fuck off, but I desperately needed to get out of my room. Ever since the whole fiasco last night, I had been thinking about how much Max must have hated me for reacting so violently. I couldn't understand why he cared about the asshole in the first place, but whatever the reason, he successfully made me feel like I was the bad guy.

"It looks fine," I muttered under my breath.

Marcy sighed and placed her hands on her hips in frustration. "Liam, you said that about the last six dresses."

I shrugged. "They all looked fine."

She threw her head back and groaned. "Come on, Liam. I need your help." Her deep umber eyes snapped to me when my phone vibrated for the thousandth time. "And who the hell keeps texting you?"

I glanced down at my phone to see Max's illuminating the screen. He had been texting me non-stop ever since I fled the coffee shop, but I never bothered to return any of his texts in fear of making matters worse.

Marcy snatched the phone from my hands and studied the screen. "Who is Max?"

I should've told her to mind her own business, but I didn't have enough energy or motivation to do so.

But Marcy wasn't taking my silence as an answer. "Who is he?" She pressed further.

"A friend of mine," I responded dryly, with no emotional attachment to my words.

Marcy's delicate brows pulled together into a straight line. "A friend of yours?" She questioned. "How do you have friends that I don't know about?"

"Easy," I bit back, "I just don't tell you about them."

She squinted her eyes, studying me carefully, before finally giving up with a loud, obnoxious huff. She tossed my phone onto my lap and turned to look at herself in the mirror. "It's good that you're making friends."

I rolled my eyes deep into my sockets. I hated everyone trying to pressure me into socializing. I genuinely tried to make friends, but it ended with me breaking someone's nose. "So, I need to make friends in order to be acceptable in your eyes?"

Marcy looked over her shoulder at me. "Liam, you know that's not what I'm saying."

"Isn't it?" I challenged her with a raised brow. I had no idea how I could have gone from liking Marcy to absolutely hating her in a year's time. "Admit it. You're trying to fix me, because that's what you do. You fix things. But guess what? You can't fix everything. No matter how hard you try, they will always be broken in some way, shape or form."

She stared back at me with an incredulous look morphing onto her face. "I'm not trying to fix anything, Liam. I just want you to be happy. When's the last time you went on a date?"

Images of Max flickered through my mind, but I tried to fight a smile.

"Remember Sally Parker?" She asked with a raised brow. "She's totally into you. I could set you guys up if you'd like."

I slumped backward in my chair, shaking my head in disbelief and groaning all at the same time.

"I'm gay, Marcy."

She whipped around almost immediately, her brown eyes wide with astonishment. She blinked a few times before she broke out in laughter. "No, you're not."

I watched as she continued to laugh as if I had just said the punch line of a stupid joke.

I simply stared at her with a blank expression on my face. I wasn't quite regretting my decision to tell her, but I still wasn't too fond of her reaction.

"Wait," she said, stopping herself mid-laughter, "you're serious?"

"What? Did you think I was joking?"

Marcy blinked. "No, you can't be gay. You just ... can't."

I started to wonder if she had reacted this way when Scotty told her. He told me first, because he knew I would be more accepting, and it took me hours to convince him that Marcy was worth telling too. He never told me how it went, but their friendship seemed to be in good terms the next day.

I had immediately grown tired of this back-and-forth exchange. "Sure, I can."

Marcy shook her head. "You need to stop playing around, Liam. This isn't funny."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You're the one laughing, not me."

Marcy pressed her lips together, falling silent. Any hint of her previous amused state had completely vanished, and she just stood there with her hands purposely placed on her small waist. She released a heavy breath, and then turned to face the mirror. "Okay."

I raised a brow. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," she said with a blinding grin. "You're gay and that's cool, or whatever, but you're still going to prom with me because I am buying this dress."

Sighing, I rolled my eyes. "I already told you I'd go."

"No." She whipped around quickly with her finger pointed at me and her eyes dark with anger. "This isn't one of those things where you say yes, and you never show up. You are not going to embarrass me at my senior prom. Do you hear me?"

"Sure," I said with an accompanying shrug. I really wasn't at all threatened by Marcy. Chances were, I'd cancel on her at the last minute like I always did, and she'd have no choice to forgive me because I was "different."

My phone buzzed on my lap again, and I didn't need to look at it to know it was Max.

Marcy began to unzip the dress, letting it fall from her shoulders and expose her laced bra. "Are you screwing him?" She didn't turn around to face me when she asked. Instead, she kept her eyes glued to the mirror.

I realized I involved Marcy way too much. "No."

She glanced over her shoulder. "Do you want to screw him?"

I snarled in annoyance, but complied anyway. "I don't see why that concerns you."

"Did you screw Scotty?"

My eyes snapped open at her sudden accusation. "What?"

"Did you fuck Scotty up the ass?" She barked in a more controlled, harsh tone.

I narrowed my eyes at her. I never wanted to tell her and now I knew why. She didn't need to know about me and Scotty. What good would that do?

"No."

Marcy quirked a perfectly groomed brow. "Or was he the one fucking you up the ass?"

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as images of my first time with Scotty flashed through my mind. My lips twitched into a small smile from just remembering how beautiful and raw he looked whenever he was making love to me.

I had completely forgotten about Marcy's presence until she started laughing again. "You're fucking disgusting."

I blinked at her in confusion. Surely, she didn't act this way when Scotty told her, but I wasn't going to do everything in my power to defend myself. I didn't care. I didn't care about Marcy, and I didn't care about what she thought of me.

She continued to slip out of her dress, until she was left with only her underwear. She placed her hands on her hips and took a deep breath. "So, you're telling me that you're not at all attracted to me?"

I could feel my anger sizzling just under the surface of my skin. "No. That's the whole point."

She didn't seem to get the hint. Her fingers snaked around her waist, where she unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. Then, she hooked her thumbs around the waistband of her underwear, and pulled them down to her ankles. Now completely naked, she struck a pose and flashed me a smile. "How about now?"

I stared blankly at her for what felt like hours, but was surely only seconds. I stood up abruptly and began to make my way out of the dressing room. "I'm leaving."

Marcy trailed after me and latched onto my wrist. "No, wait!"

I shook my hand out of her grasp. "No. Leave me alone. I don't like you and I never want to see you again."

She grabbed onto me once more. "Liam!" She cried in hysteria. "I'm in love with you."

I stared back at her glistening eyes. I could tell she was on the verge of tears, but I couldn't find myself feeling sorry for her.

Yanking myself out of her grip and letting out a low growl, I stormed out of the dressing room before she could say anything else. I could faintly hear her small cries calling after me, but I completely ignored her until I was safely located behind the impenetrable walls of my Audi.

**

I wasn't in the mood for any small talk when I stepped foot in my house, but asking my parents to leave me alone was like asking the earth to stop spinning.

As soon as I rounded the corner, my mother greeted me with a friendly smile. "Hello, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Not now, Mom."

I tried to push past her, but she stopped me in my tracks by placing a perfectly manicured hand on my chest. "A boy is here for you. He says he's your friend."

My face paled as soon as my heart sunk to my knees. The whole reason why I was ignoring Max's texts was because I didn't want to talk to him. Why the hell would he come here?

"Tell him to leave," I ordered.

My mom shook her head. "No, he seems like a nice little boy."

"Mom," I lowered my voice, "tell him to leave."

Her cobalt eyes grew dark and hard. "No, I'm not telling him to go anywhere. You are going to talk to him and you are going to stop acting like a brat."

I could have argued with her until she finally gave in to my demands, but with all of the events that happened earlier, I didn't have the patience or energy to go back and forth with her. "Whatever," I spat at her, before I brushed past her and entered the living room where Max was sitting on one of the sofas.

He wasn't wearing one of those t-shirts with a name of an unknown band plastered across it, and he wasn't wearing the ridiculously right skinny jeans I was so used to seeing him in. In fact, he looked like a totally different person with his gray sweats, baggy tee, and disheveled hair.

It didn't really matter how he looked, though, because I still felt my heart rate kick up just from the sight of him. "Hey."

He smiled weakly. "Hi."

I glanced over my shoulder to see my mother propped up against the wall with a small smile on her face. Returning my attention back to Max, I gestured toward my bedroom. "Do you want to talk in private?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I returned the smile and began to make my way to my bedroom, with him trailing behind. I caught a glimpse at my mother who was nodding in approval, and I wanted nothing more than to slap her stupid smile off her face.

Once we were both in my room, I closed the door and locked it behind us. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes to regain my composure, I turned to face Max. "Why are you here," I spat bitterly.

Max frowned. "What? What do you mean why am I here? Haven't you read my text messages?"

I started to pace around the room, trying to keep my attention on everything else but him. "Not really."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You ran out on me last night. You promised you would never do that."

"There was a reason," I snapped back. "You made me feel like I was the bad guy."

His mouth fell open. "Well, yeah! You broke Mark's nose!"

A low growl sounded from within my throat before I could stop it. "He was going to hurt you."

"Maybe," he responded, "but that doesn't mean you should hurt him. What you did was uncalled for."

"Uncalled for," I repeated, laughing quietly at how monstrous he made me sound, "right. Whatever."

Max folded his arms across his chest and studied me. "Liam, you were high. I'm thankful that all you did was break his nose. You could have done some serious damage, and I want to know what's really going on with you. I never wanted to pressure you into telling me, but when it's interfering with someone else's well being, I need to know what's going on."

"You don't need to know anything," I spat.

He was taken aback by my snappy attitude. "Excuse me?"

I finally snapped my attention to him, staring into his dark, confused eyes. "You're mad at me for protecting you? For giving that asshole what he deserved? For possibly saving your life?"

It seemed as though the more I talked, the more confused he became. "I don't need you to protect me."

I never thought Max could make me so angry, but every second that passed fueled my body with more rage than I ever had before. "Yes, you do!" I yelled at him. "I didn't think I needed to protect Scotty from himself, but apparently I did. I'm not losing someone else, again. I won't."

Max slowly took a seat at the edge of my bed with his eyes still glued to mine. His dark brows were knitted together in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

All of the anger building inside me needed to get out. Before I could fully comprehend it, I was picking up my bedside table and throwing it against the wall without having a single remorse about it. Max shrieked in fear and tried to get me to calm down, but I was too angry to listen. I continued to trash my room until he rushed towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

My eyes snapped open as I felt myself being dragged back in time.

Scotty trailed his hands up and down my back, occasionally stopping to massage my shoulders, and continuing to leave his touch all over my back.

"I don't think I ever told you this, but whenever you touch my shoulders, it calms me," I mumbled into the pillow I was pressed against.

"Really?" He questioned as he continued to work his hands into the grooves of my back.

"I don't know why," I responded, "it just does."

He dove into the crook of my neck and kissed the skin there. "I should do it more often then," he said in a low growl. He began to work his hands back up to my shoulders where he massaged them carefully.

I released a soft moan. "I think it's because it makes me feel safe, you know? Like you're gonna be around forever."

Scotty let out a low chuckle. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere."

I craned sideways to see his entrancing blue eyes were staring back at me. "You promise?"

His lips curled into a small smile and he pressed them softly against mine. "Promise."

The way Max was touching me felt wrong. It felt sinful and dishonorable. "Don't touch me!" I snapped at me as I placed my hands on his chest and shoved him away with all my strength. He stumbled backwards with his eyes were still wide with horror.

The memory of Scotty promising to stay with me forever suddenly made me feel horrible. I collapsed onto the floor and rested my head against the wall, as I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. That didn't do any good, because they fell anyway. Before I knew it, I was completely balling my eyes out.

I heard Max's voice from beside me. "Liam?"

Today was more eventful than I ever wanted it to be, and that was because I tried to get people involved when it obviously wasn't working. I wasn't meant to be making friends or moving on. Scotty would never try to move on from me if the situation had been reversed.

"Liam," Max said softly, "please talk to me."

My eyes fluttered open when I felt his hand on mine. He was looking back at me with sincere brown eyes and a small comforting smile stretching onto his face.

I shook my head in disbelief and sighed. "Scotty, my ex-boyfriend, he..." I had to make sure this was what I wanted. There'd be no going back once I told him, "...he killed himself."

It hurt more than I thought it would, having to say those words out loud. My mind had tricked myself into thinking Scotty wasn't completely gone.

Max sucked in a breath. "Seriously?"

I tore my gaze away from him and stared blankly at the window.

He gained a tighter grip on my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm so sorry."

That's what they all say, I wanted to say. The week after Scotty's funeral, when I returned to school, people who I didn't even know tried to express their condolences. Even though they didn't know me and I didn't know them, they claimed they were "sorry." Sorry for what? Sorry that they didn't know what it felt like to lose someone they loved? They didn't have anything to be sorry for.

"I started acting weird, I guess. That's what everyone tells me. I was really upset, more than usual. I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything. My parents finally had enough and took me to the doctor, where he diagnosed me with clinical depression."

Max's gaze dropped to the floor. "Liam, I'm such a jerk. I shouldn't have ever-"

"I don't want you to pity me," I interrupted him. "Trust me, I've had enough pity to last a lifetime. I don't want you to act different around me just because you think I'm going to react in some kind of way."

He shook his head violently. "No, of course not. I won't."

"And I understand if this is too much for you to handle and you want to run away and never speak to me again."

His smile turned into a grin as he scooted closer to me. "I'm not going anywhere, Liam."

I raised a brow. "Promise?"

He swiped his tongue over lips and leaned in closer to me, closing the gap between us until his lips pressed firmly against mine. He pulled away only seconds later, but he still kept the close distance between us when his smile returned. "Promise."

**

A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry that it took so long to update. School was hectic and I've been sick and a whole bunch of other excuses that you probably don't care about. What matters is that it's finally here, and yay for progress!

So the secret is out, but do you think this relationship will last? Another question I want to ask you guys is do you want more flashbacks of Scotty and such, to see what he was like? I'm trying to keep them minimal, but I wanna know you're interested in.  

If you enjoyed this chapter, then please give it a vote and a comment because that makes me hella happy and makes me write the next chapter hella quick!

Dedication goes out to @_Abby_ Snail_ for the beautiful cover to the side

Until next time,
     Lara <3