I guess you really did it this time

Left yourself in your war path

Chapter 01 ~ Innocent

      Liam Slater

I hate people.

It may sound like an exaggeration, but I can promise that it's not.

I hated the girl seated next to me, who was tapping her obnoxiously long nails against her table. I hated the janitor who had mopped under my table for the millionth time. I hated my parents for sending me to this damn place to get their morning coffee. I hated my so-called friend, Marcy, for blowing up my phone with text messages like she had nothing better to do.

And I hated myself for being so ... me.

It wasn't like I wanted to hate people. If I had it my way, I would have a million friends on Facebook and be the one guy at school that everyone just knows. Considering that no one used Facebook anymore and I didn't go to school, that would be a very far-fetched dream.

So no, I didn't hate people for the mere purpose of hating them. I hated people because they annoyed me. They didn't have to try, they just did. They could simply cough and I would think they were the doing it on purpose to make me mad. Logic would tell me that wasn't exactly the case, but logic also seemed to take a backseat when I had my episodes.

Like right now.

The episodes come in the most unexpected of times. Sometimes, I would be fine - not happy, not sad - just fine. Then the depression would kick in and suddenly, the world seemed like a dark place.

That was how the doctor explained it to me, but I think he was wrong. The world is a dark place, and the depression only made me see it clearly.

My phone buzzed on the table and I glanced at it, only to see Marcy's name illuminating the screen for the thousandth time. I suppressed a groan as I slid my finger across the touch screen to read her text messages.

They were nothing of importance, like the majority of Marcy's text messages. She was trying to send me inspirational quotes to "make my day better", which was a result of me telling her that getting up in the morning was really difficult for me. I didn't know why Marcy took it upon herself to cheer me up, when her text messages did the exact opposite.

The girl beside me stopped tapping her nails against the table and stood up abruptly. She sauntered over to the register and retrieved her coffee cup from the employees, then began to tap her nails against the cup. As she was walking back to her seat, she caught my stare and she sent me a flirty smile.

I rolled my eyes at her and I didn't care if it offended her or not.

One of the employees called my name and I, too, walked to the register where one of the workers held my order in their hands. He was extremely small in size, compared to me, and his black silky hair was styled to perfection. It was obvious he had spent a good amount of time on it, and because of that, he didn't wear the hat that the other employees wore.

I reached for my order, but the boy retracted his hand. "Oh my god," he breathed out in a low whisper as his toffee colored eyes gazed back at me.

I could feel my impatience starting to kick in. "What?"

"You're really beautiful," he replied. I would admit that the comment took me by surprise, but the boy seemed to not have any regrets of complimenting me. "Are you a model?"

I pressed my lips together. "No."

The boy rubbed his chin in deep thought, still holding onto my order. "You're kidding."

"No."

No matter how many times I rejected his accusations, he still wouldn't let the topic go. "Have you ever thought about becoming a model? You definitely have the face."

I felt Marcy's text buzz in my back pocket. Between her and the coffee boy, I couldn't tell who irritated me more. "Can I have my coffee?"

The boy blinked in astonishment, as if he hadn't expected me to ask such a question. "Your coffee?" He glanced down at the cups clutched tightly in his hands, and he smiled. "Oh! Oops, my bad. Yeah, here you go."

I took the cups from his hands and turned to leave, but he stopped me by adding, "I'm Max, by the way."

My eyes fluttered shut and my grip around the cups tightened. What had I done to deserve this unwanted attention? I'm sure the little boy was a nice kid, for all intents and purposes, but it didn't take much effort to succeed in pissing me off.

And just like Marcy, the obnoxious finger-tapping girl, the janitor, and my parents, I hated him too.

**

When I arrived home, I was immediately greeted with hugs and kisses from my mother, and encouraging words from my father. Like Marcy, they believe that being positive would help me in thinking positively, but they were wrong. I never told them that because they would bring me to the doctor again and he would give them another long list of things that were wrong with me.

My mother grabbed the coffee cups from my hands and smiled her encouraging smile at me. "Thanks so much, Liam. Did you meet anyone interesting at the shop today?"

"No," I replied, short.

Her and my father exchanged worried glances. "Better luck next time, right?" He pitched in with a smile.

I shrugged, which seemed to be my response to most things.

"Marcy called us today," my mother informed me. "She was asking for you."

My response was only a blank stare.

My father must have noticed this, because he said, "We don't want to bombard him with so much information, Catherine." He returned his sea green eyes to me. "I bought you a new video game on my way home from work today. Why don't you check it out?"

I nodded because I didn't know what else to do.

My mother clapped her hands together and grinned. "Just be sure to leave the door open, okay honey?"

I gave them the weakest and most forced of smiles before retreating back to my bedroom. As soon as I was in the comfort of my own space, I shut the door - against my parents' wishes - and locked it.

My parents were only like this because they didn't want me to end up like Scotty because exactly one year ago from today's date, May 16th, Scotty committed suicide.

Everyone at school cried and mourned and acted like they knew him, but they didn't. I knew Scotty. I knew that he poured his milk before he poured his cereal. I knew that he really like watching The Bachelor. I knew that he wanted to be an entrepreneur when he grew up because he wanted the world to see what he could do. But most of all, I knew that he loved me and I knew that I loved him.

I spotted the video game my dad mentioned to me on my bed, and I tossed it to the side without even looking at it. Lifting my comforters and rummaging through the crevices of the mattress, I retrieved a plastic baggie filled with white powder. It didn't take long before I was snorting the substance and falling back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the drug to take action.

"Someday," Scotty began as his fingers intertwined with mine, "I'm going to go where nobody else goes and do what nobody else does and then, and only then, people will see that it's okay to be a little different."

I nuzzled my head into his chest. "I like that you think like that," I told him in a soft whisper.

Scotty laughed whole-heatedly and I looked up at him, taking in the sights of his dark, shaggy hair and his piercing blue eyes. "I like that you like that I think like that."

As I laid there in my bed, I started to think that Scotty might have achieved his dreams if he was still alive. Many people hated him for being who he was, and maybe that was why I hated people for caring about who I was. Maybe it had nothing to do with the episodes or the pills or the doctors. Maybe it was just impossible for me to like people who had indirectly killed Scotty.

And even though I hated the fact that he left without telling me, I could never hate Scotty.

**

A/N: Ah, sorry! I couldn't help myself! I had to post it because it was just killing me. But, the good news is, that this chapter does not give away the ending of Kissing Booth so it's safe to read!

There is a gif of Liam Slater, played by Colton Haynes to the side -->

Like I've mentioned before, this book deals with the dark issue of depression, so Liam here will often be nonchalant about most things.

Also, I do not suffer from depression and I don't know anyone who has. I did tons of research on this topic so I can make my character as accurate as he can be. If you do know some things about depression that you would like to share with me, then lemme know.

Otherwise, please vote and leave a comment telling me what you guys think of Liam and what you guys think of Max.

I'd like to thank everyone who went through great lengths to make me a cover for this book, and I'll be displaying all of them throughout the chapters. 

Until next time,
Lara <3