flashback to the last day before they went to college.

unedited.
selena's pov

i texted ethan since i needed to talk to him, to end things.

even though we never actually started a relationship.. this 'thing' we have going on between us, isn't healthy for either of us because i never know where i stand with him and i don't think he does either with me.

i just don't wanna feel like insecure about it anymore.

plus, we're about to go off to college, so i figured now would be the best time to end things, at least for now.

ethan was right when he said that thing about me not being able to be single, and then i jumped into this thing with him, which i think was more about lust anyway.

it's going to be hard, since we're both going to the same college, but i'm already in a sorority since my mom is an alumnae of alpha chi omega.

i heard a familiar knock at my window.. ethan. i unlocked it and pushed the curtains to the side so it would be easier for him to get in.

as soon as he did he started to pull off his shirt, i guess we have mixed signals.

"ethan stop that's not why i invited you over."

he pulled his shirt on over his chest and sat down next to me on my bed.

"it's really hard for me to do this, since we've been friends for so long."

"don't." ethan blurted out, he knows where this is going.

"we have to think about our future, independently. it's not that i, well it's not that i want to end things but i have to. for me."

his face became red, "but i finally, we finally found each other."

"ever since this thing started between us, there's been more tension.. and i want my best friend back. i want the guy i could've talked to about anything at anytime. and i don't feel that sense of security anymore." i'm trying to be as honest as possible, so there isn't any wrong ideas.

"please just stop talking." ethan stood up from the bed, pacing back and forth.

"we need to talk about this. for once can we just be honest about what we're doing here." i ask him, pulling his hand because i needed him to sit on the bed with me and hear everything i'm saying.

"please don't be upset e. you know i love you."

"i love you too!" he leaned in and kissed me but i didn't kiss back, he held onto my cheeks and tried to go in deeper but i just stood up.

"ethan we need to fucking talk."

"i can't lose you." his breath was shaking.

"how could you ever think you would ever lose me?" we've been friends for so long, i don't want this to ruin us. for god's sake we applied to the same college.

"sel please don't do this. please don't end this. don't end us."

"that's the thing, i don't know what this is. i don't know what we are. we need time apart, and if we're supposed to be together, we will be." i mentally rolled my eyes at the cliche words, even though i don't think ethan was even hearing me.

"so you stay with grayson after he cheats on you multiple times, but you're ending things with me, because of a sense of security? are you kidding me? how could you not be insecure with a guy that cheated on you, but be insecure with your best friend."

everything he was saying was right, but that's just how i felt, i can't change it.

"i'm sorry. please don't be mad at me." i could feel tears sliding down my cheek as the words came out.

he stood up to where i was standing, placing his thumb on my cheek and wiping the tear away, "don't ever cry, not for me."

"i just, even if this romantic things ends, i don't want us to end." i tell him, pulling his hand of the side of my face.

"why does either of it have to end?" he asks.

it's like he hasn't been listening this whole time.

"i just told you why."

he nods, "when you come back to your senses you know where to find me." he says as he leaves, out my actual door.

he slammed it shut, i could hear the front door slam as well soon after, "bye ethan."