Disclaimer: This is going to be a veryyyy long rant so ehh sorry. I wrote this last night and just saw the word length and holy shit. The italics is where I bitch about the learning and normal text where I bitch about the people so yeah you can like skip a part bec this is too long man

It's been a week at school and surprisingly, it's not as bad as I anticipated it to be. Sure, there's way too much work but it hasn't piled up yet, my social anxiety isn't bad these days and there's this new kid that's cool and yeah some people are nice.

Also, it's my last year and shshdhshdgggsvs I'm so anxious about IGCSEs. I've always binge-studied on the night before exams but that won't cut it this time.

So now that the positivity is out of the way, let me start on the negatives because FUCK YEAH.

(I get this excited about bitching at 1 AM what is wrong with me)

I've always talked about how most education systems are fucked up but lmao, my school's education system is a special kind of fucked up. It actually makes me appreciate other schools a little. (Key word: Little)

English Literature was the only subject I genuinely enjoyed and this year, yes the year before we have boards, they decided to completely remove it as a subject because they don't think most students are competent. Like.... what the actual fuck?

I kinda get what they meant because only like three people gave shits about the subject last year and took it just for kicks but it was also because the teacher literally didn't even teach anything because she believed in "self-studying". But anyway, that's a rant for another day.

So yeah, they replaced English Literature with English Spoken Language which is not even fucking recognized by Pearson Edexcel, which means there won't even be an IGCSE exam for it so what. the. fuck.

The only other two options were History, Geography and Arabic which I'm not very good at so I decided I'm gonna register privately for English Literature and just roll with English Spoken Language at school as it's just debates and shit.

But now they're like they might bring back English Literature so I don't fucking know, honestly they should get their shit together.

Anyways, English Spoken Language is a fucking nightmare. It does require the minimum effort but it's just stupid. This week we were supposed to have a debate and all the pairs got assigned different topics. Mine was, "Should Shakespeare be studied in school?" and I was speaking against it. I researched the shit out of that and had three pages worth of points. Hell, I was even looking forward to it but flash forward the next day and surprise, my partner was not even prepared. She smilingly told the teacher she was too tired who didn't bat an eye and told us to go.

Honestly, I was so pissed at this point so I went off. I did pretty good and my partner did not even make any effort and got zero shit for that because the teacher likes her.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The other people who went up clearly didn't even give a single flying fuck. These two guys were supposed to debate on whether chewing gum should be permitted to school. They, of course, were totally unprepared too but we suggested the one who was for chewing gum to chew gum while he made his point. You know, for a dramatic effect.

But here's what happened.

Guy who's for chewing gum: Chewing should be allowed in school..... because.....it tastes good and there's like a lot of flavors...yeah. *chews gum* It's also good for annoying your teacher and wasting class time. You get to walk to the bin and spit it out. *chews gum violently*
*someone hisses something from the first bench*
Oh and it's also good for your teeth....it cleans your mouth and stuff.
*chews gum for another few moments until he's told off by the teacher*

Guy who's against chewing gum: I'm against chewing gum because it's distracting in class.....and it can give you cancer. Yes, that's all. *resumes the-universal-cool-guy-stance and looks at class with the idgaf-look*

Class: *Laughter and applause*

Teacher: *rolls eyes and tells him to go back to his seat*

Me and the other few kids who unfortunately care: ................

See what I'm talking about? Also, math stresses me out so much and I hate that I can't drop it sksksksksksk. Like we know all the basics at this point, why are we forced to take it if we don't want to work in a field that revolves around the subject? I understand why they make English compulsory but honestly, why the fuck math.

Algebra is okay but all the other geometry and theorem shits drive me crazy.

Yeah, that's all for academics, now let's get to the people.

There's basically the following groups of them. Of course, they don't know they're in groups as most people don't have the clique-y attitude at my school but for this rant's sake, I shall group them in my head as to where they fit in the social spectrum. Many people fit into multiple groups.

1. The Cool Kids: Think they're better than everyone else, vape at school and live in shisha lounges in their Snapchat stories because isn't that the coolest shit? Some of them speak in fake arabic accents because idk why. Sense of humor revolves around making fun of other people and being obnoxious af. Get into drama and fights a lot but nothing has broken out this year, fortunately.

2. Faux cool kids: The people that the cool kids mainly make fun of. Have cringey instagram captions and rap gucci gang in class.

3. Future desi (South Asian) aunties: Living examples of why I hate the majority of my culture. Judge everybody (mostly their physical appearance) and shit about them behind their back. "I can see half her body, isn't she ashamed?" "Why does she go through boyfriends so fast? Does she not have any self respect?" "Omg! He actually admitted he likes guys like like-like? Eww that is so gross."
Will offer unwanted advice to you and think it's helpful.

4. People I can tolerate more than others (I can't think of what else to call them): Guys that are actually funny and not racist, sexist or homophobic on the surface level. (Yes, the bar is fucking six feet underground) Go too far with "jokes" sometimes that I feel bad for laughing at them later. Think they can use the n-word because they have black friends. Don't really care about issues that don't directly effect them. They make islamophobic jokes sometimes and I told them to stop because religion actually means a lot to me but they shrugged it off because hey, who cares about boundaries and what ticks people off right?

5. People I like: This group consists of like three peoole. They're nice. R-rated jokes that are still funny without being messed up. Stay out of drama. Good opinions and vibes.

Group 3 is my least fucking favorite.
Another mini rant in this whole big rant because why fucking not? (I haven't posted in this book for a really long time and this is actually a good outlet so bear with me)

I get really dry skin during this time of the year. It's getting super bad these days, like there are dry patches of skin all over my face. And you know I see my face in the mirror everyday so I fucking know what I look like without Group 3 girls pointing it out. They're one of the reasons I started wearing concealer to school, they just wouldn't shut up about my under-eye bags.

So yeah I'm just minding my own damm business and this girl comes up to me.

Girl, knowing fully well I know what I look like as I'm not a vampire and perfectly capable of seeing my reflection : What's that on your face?

Me: What? You mean... the dry skin?

Girl: Yeah...yeah. It's kinda weird. No offense but you're gonna get wrinkles by the time you're twenty, you should do something about it.

Me: I know.

(I don't know why I said that,
how does dry skin even give you wrinkles?)

Girl: Yeah they have stuff for that at Bath & Body Works.

Me: I know

Girl: Yeah... because no offense it just looks weird.

Then a few hours later, I walk into a different class, only to have the other judgy girls judge the shit out of me.

"Omg what happened? You didn't look like this yesterday!!!"

"Go to a doctor."

They were worse, they kept shooting me looks of disgust even after I told them yeah I do plan on going to a dermatologist.

It fucking makes me so mad when they look at me like I'm something on the bottom of their shoe or something. I swear if they do it again tomorrow, I will quit being nice and fucking fight them.

It's so hurtful when people comment on something you're already super insecure about and give unsolicited advice, assuming you don't care about yourself and aren't trying anything.

Like I know what I fucking look like and I am trying shit. Also, even if I wasn't, how would my health be any of your business? I don't owe you a fucking explanation for what I look like.

I hate when people offer other people unsolicited advice. I mean why is it so damn hard to shut up and mind your own damn business?? Just don't offer advice unless someone's asking for it and when you are, please don't assume that they haven't already tried the most basic options.

This probably is the longest rant I've written lol sorry but I'm just fucking sick of school

xoxoxo

Nushie