Note:
happy anniversary, my alliviates!
this chapter is dedicated to you, my beloved readers. and also to my lovely seoh (nins, maki, ella, sam, sanji, aria, most especially zayi na nilagnat pa pero todo kayod pa rin). mahal ko kayo palagi!

Chapter 24
. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊

Dumeretso ako sa probinsya namin nang umuwi kami mula sa Batangas. They already had their ideal locations and spots that they would include in the film. Hindi na muna ako nakialam dahil mas nanaig sa akin kung anong kalagayan ni Tonton.

Dala-dala ng nagmamadaling tricycle ang puso kong malakas ang tibok habang patungo kami sa aming bahay. I went there knowing that there would be another confrontation, iniiwasan ko na nga ito dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko pa kayang awayin ang sarili kong ina. Even if she had her faults, it was hard to hate her because I knew that the circumstances were the one that pushed her to act this way.

Si Nanay ay palaging ganito kapag nagigipit. Palaging kay Tiya Gina ang takbuhan. Si Tiya Gina naman ay lalong tumataas ang tingin sa sarili kapag nakikitang nagkukumahog si Nanay sa tulong n'ya. She would often berate us, na kesyo hindi nakapagtapos si Nanay nang dahil kay Tatay. And she would often make me feel. . .that Nanay wasted her entire life for someone who wasn't even successful—wala siyang ibang pinariringgan kung di ako.

Even if I graduated with flying colors, bilang isang cum laude, balewala 'yon kung hindi naman ako Engineer, Nurse o di kaya'y galing sa isang trabaho na may board exam. It was easy for them to trample on me because my work isn't something that they look up to.

Pagkarating ko roon ay mas lalong naging malungkot ang bahay. Ang aming kinakalawang na gate, ang pinturang kumukupas, at ang ilan sa mga halaman na hindi na rin nadidiligan ang pangbungad sa akin.

Napabuntonghininga ako.

Whenever I see the state of our house, napapaisip ako kung tama ba talaga ang tinahak kong landas? If only I sacrificed my dreams. . .would their lives be better than this?

Am I really selfish for putting my own passion first? Nabuhay lang ba talaga ako para i-angat ang mga magulang ko sa sitwasyon nila? The thought often lingered in my mind and stayed in my heart.

Nakita ko na nagkukumpuni ng tricycle si Tatay at nang lingunin ako ay nagpunas siya ng pawis gamit ng face towel na nakalagay sa kan'yang balikat. Agad n'ya akong dinaluhan at pinunasan pa ang kan'yang kamay bago ako nagmano.

I was skeptical at first because the silence in our house was deafening. Kahit paano ay may naririnig dapat ako sa kusina o di kaya ay bukas dapat ang luma naming TV. Lumingon ako sa bahay pero tila ba parang walang tao sa loob.

"Dadalaw ka pala? Hindi ka nagsabi?" pambungad n'ya sa akin. His voice was always gruff, ramdam ko ang pagiging paos nito.

Napabuntonghininga ako. "Totoo bang nakikitira ngayon si Tonton kay Tiya Gina, Tay?"

Unti-unting bumakas sa mukha n'ya ang pagkadismaya sa sarili at napabuntonghinga siya. I could feel the deep resentment he also had for that person.

"Oo eh," sagot sa akin ni Tatay. "Sinabihan ko naman 'yang mama mo. Ang sabi ko pa nga ay hindi na siya nadala sa ginawa sa 'yo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kapag nagaaway kami ng nanay mo ay palaging 'yang kapatid n'ya na 'yan ang tinatakbuhan n'ya."

"Nag-away po kayo?" gulantang na tanong ko. My eyes widened with that revelation.

Hindi naman bago sa akin na nagaaway silang dalawa. Normal din naman na magkaroon ng hindi pagkakaunawaan, pero ngayon lang yata nag-away ang dalawa na walang umabot na sumbong sa akin. Tonton would usually tell me ahead so I could contact either Nanay or Tatay. Pero dahil walang nagsumbong sa akin ngayon, I feel completely like a wanderer without a compass.

"Oo eh." He stifled a breath. "Inaway ako kasi kulang na raw ang kinikita ko sa tricycle. Sinabi ko naman sa kan'ya na nagmahal ang gas, hindi naman nagmahal ang pamasahe. Iniisip ko nga kung uutang ba ako ng motor para magkaroon pa ng sideline na mag-deliver ng mga pagkain, o di kaya pasahero rin."

A giant weight was pressed against my chest.

"Pasensya na, Tay," malungkot kong wika. "Dadagdagan ko na lang po ang padala ko sa mga susunod na buwan. Balak ko rin pong. . .lumipat ng trabaho eh."

Tatapusin ko lang 'tong project kay Kiran, tapos baka pumasok na ako sa mga hiring na kompanya ngayon. Papatusin ko na yung mga trabaho na mas stable at mas mataas ang sahod kumpara sa trabaho ko ngayon.

"Oh, bakit? Nagsisi ka na rin ba d'yan sa trabaho mo? Maliit na nga ang sweldo, pagod ka pa." He sneered, derisively. Umiling-iling pa siya sa akin.

Ngumiti ako nang mapakla. "Kaya nga po eh."

It was a hard pill to swallow; that all along, they might be right about this profession. That being a writer cannot sustain my needs; na hindi lahat ay napapakain ng pagsusulat.

Sa kabilang bayan nakatira sina Tiya Gina. Kung dumadalas doon si Nanay, lalong naninirahan sa puso ko ang agam-agam na baka nilalason na naman ni Tiya ang utak n'ya. She would always compare her kids to us, at si Nanay naman ay mas natutuwa pa sa mga anak ni Tiya Gina dahil mga nag-aral ito ng engineering at mga magdo-doctor.

Dumayo pa ako roon at rinig na rinig ko mula sa malayo ang hagikhikan nilang mag-anak. When I arrive at their front porch, I could see the mocking expressions of my relatives.

"Oh, napabisita ka?" Tiya Gina smiled sinisterly. "Nandito si Tonton at ang Mama mo. Nakikihingi ng ulam."

"Po?" My eyebrows furrowed. "May ulam naman po kami sa bahay."

"Ay, ano bang laban ng chopsuey mo sa lechon manok namin?" She chuckled. Iminuwestra n'ya ang kan'yang kamay na tila ba pinapapasok n'ya ako. "Halika at kumain ka na rin. Dalhan mo na rin ang tatay mo. Ilang araw ka ba mananatili rito sa bayan?"

"Sandali lang po ako," sagot ko sa kan'ya.

I remained skeptical as we went inside. Nakita ko roon na kumakain na sila, pero si Tonton ay naghuhugas ng plato sa lababo. Doon pa lang ay halos maluha na ako dahil alam ko. . .nanggaling ako rito. Ikaw yung bisita pero ikaw ang magsisilbi sa kanila.

"Oh," Tiya Gina eyed me, nakita ang ekspresyon. "Si Tonton ang pinaghugas ko dahil kakaunti lang ang plato namin. Maguuwi rin naman ang mama mo ng ulam mula rito kaya siya naman ang pinaglaba ko."

Hindi ko mapigilan ang lumingon kay Tiya Gina. "Bakit n'yo po ba pinapunta rito sina Nanay? May bahay naman po kami."

She shrugged. "Ang mama mo ang kusang pumunta rito. Umiiyak dahil nag-away sila ng tatay mo. Balak kasing patigilin si Tonton sa pagaaral dahil maaga magre-retiro ang tatay mo."

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko. Ibang-iba ito sa sinabi ni Tatay sa akin kanina, dahil tuloy doon ay hindi ko alam kung kanino ako papanig. Pero sa ngayon ay alam ko kung sino ang dapat kong lapitan, si Tonton ang mas nangangailangan sa akin ngayon.

Lumapit ako kay Tonton na nagsasalansan ng mga plato. Nagulat pa siya dahil tahimik ko lang siyang nilapitan. His cheeks were puff, at madalas siyang asarin na napagiwanan sa kusina dahil malusog siya.

Kumislap ang kan'yang mga mata. "Ate! Nandito ka pala? Kumain ka na ba, ate? Sabay na tayo?"

"Hindi ka pa kumakain?" garalgal kong tanong. "Pero naghuhugas ka na ng pinggan?"

He laughed nervously. "Ah, eh, kakaunti lang naman ito, Ate. Wala rin kasi silang mga plato. Ayaw nila ipagamit yung mga naka-display dahil mahal daw yung mga 'yon."

When I heard those words, mas nanaig sa akin na ilayo si Tonton sa lugar na ito. I want him to enjoy his youth; alam ko naman na bahagi ito ng pakikisama pero bakit kailangan n'yang makitira kung may bahay kami? Maybe Nanay wanted to cut off some bills but still. . .

Napabuntonghininga na lang ako.

"Ako na d'yan," sabi ko at tumabi sa kan'ya. "Busog pa ako kaya mauna ka na kumain. Yayain mo na rin si Nanay."

"Baka naglalaba pa po 'yon ng mga basahan," sabi ni Tonton.

I looked at Tiya Gina who was having a merry conversation with her family. Alam ko na kadalasan ay dito nanggagaling ang pressure na nararamdaman ni Nanay. She was the oldest daughter yet the youngest one had a better life than her. Hindi pa nakatulong dito na ang mga anak ni Tiya Gina ay sa malalaking unibersidad nakapagtapos at kilala ang mga kurso.

Maybe, even if she wanted me to pursue my dream of becoming a writer, a part of her just wanted to see me outgrow her path as well. Ayaw n'yang maging maliit din ang tingin sa akin ng mga kamag-anak namin.

Ako na ang nagtapos ng hugasin pero hindi pa rin nila tinantanan si Tonton, ang bata pa rin ang pinagligpit nila ng kinainan nila. Iniisip ko nga kung ganito na sila kina Tonton kahit bisita pa lang ito, paano pa kaya kung nakikitira na lang ito sa kanila?

I saw Nanay finally putting the rags on the hamper. Pumunta ako sa kan'ya habang bakas sa mukha ang dismaya.

"Huwag mo na rito patirahin si Tonton, Nay," halos pakiusap ko sa kan'ya. "May bahay naman tayo. Hindi naman n'ya kailangan makitira."

"Mas maganda ang magiging buhay n'ya rito," sabi ni Nanay. "Mas magkakaroon siya ng focus at matuturuan pa siya ng mga pinsan mo na maging isang architect."

Nagpantig ang mga tainga ko. "Hayaan n'yo po si Tonton mamili kung anong gusto n'yang kuhanin pagdating ng araw."

"At ano? Magiging katulad ka n'ya?" She scoffed at me. "Ano ka nga ulit? Writer lang? Ilang taon ka na nagtatrabaho pero parang hindi ka naman lumalago, Nacia."

Her words stung but I didn't mind. . .I let her speak her mind because I know she was frustrated at our situation. I know that she wanted me to be more—tangina, kahit naman ako eh. I wanted to be more than this. I thought if I went to a path that I thought I was good at, I would flourish. Yet, the years of writing only withered the last blooming hope I had for myself—and I can't help but think what if writing was never meant for me? That I only forced myself to my own doom's day?

Ang tagal ko na nagsusulat pero palagi akong parang baguhan sa larangan na ito.

"Sinusubukan ko naman—"

"Pero walang nangyayari," she sighed and shook her head. "Hayaan mo si Tonton magkaroon ng mas magandang kinabukasan. Nasunod mo na ang gusto mo sa buhay, hayaan mo naman ang kapatid mong tumupad ng mga pangarap namin."

My shoulders sagged. "May sariling pangarap din si Tonton, Nay."

She looked me in the eyes. "Ano bang issue mo rito? Mabait naman ang Tiya mo. Pumayag naman siyang makitira si Tonton."

"Alam kong nakikisama kayo ngayon pero kung ituring nila kayo ay hindi parang kamag-anak kung di parang alila! Pinakain man lang sana kayo bago kayo pinaglinis!"

"Kasalanan mo ito eh!" She pointed her fingers at me. "Kung sana ay naging engineer ka lang! Naging nurse! O kaya teacher man lang, Nacia! Edi sana ay hindi kami inaalipin! Edi sana, tangina! Hindi mababa ang tingin sa amin ng mga kamag-anak natin! Hindi ko magawang maging proud kasi nakapagtapos ka nga pero kakarampot lang ang naibibigay mo kumpara sa nabibigay ng mga pinsan mo! Nahihiya akong ikaw ang naging anak ko, Nacia!"

Her words went straight to my heart. I choked on my own saliva because I couldn't say anything to refute her. Dahil kung hindi siya proud sa akin. . .hindi ko alam kung may tao pa bang proud sa isang tulad ko. I knew that I couldn't even be proud of my own achievements, because they look meager compared to what others achieve at my age. I feel like constantly trying to win a race where everyone already has their own gold medals clinging on their necks. It was pointless to run because I was already a loser even at the start of the track.

All of our relatives started to whisper to each other. Alam kong alam nilang nagkakasagutan na kami sa likod ng bakuran nila. Alam ko rin na mamaya ay ako na naman ang panimula, gitna, at katapusan ng usapan nila.

My heart clenched against my chest but I couldn't do anything because maybe they were right all along. . .I have nothing to be proud of.

Natapos ang araw na desidido akong ilipat ng tahanan si Tonton. After our project with Kiran, baka dalhin ko si Tonton sa Maynila at doon ay kaming dalawa ang magsasama sa iisang apartment. I want Nanay and Tatay to sort out their issues on their own.

Nakakapagod mag-alaga ng mga magulang na paurong lumaki, sa totoo lang. I love them so much, but it's painful when they don't even think of me when they make decisions. Ni hindi man lang nila naisip na apektado rin si Tonton sa mga desisyon nila—na apektado rin ako

But maybe. . .I am really their daughter because I was like them too. Ni hindi ko inisip si Kiran no'ng panahon na iniwan ko siya. I thought of him but I wanted to put myself first. In the end, when I thought I was saving him from pain, I was only pushing him further to the pitfall.

Kaya kahit ang hirap nilang intindihin, hindi ko maiwasan na pakiramdaman ang mga emosyon nila. I know they thought they are doing their best for us. . .but maybe sometimes their best are just not enough.

Lunes nang bumalik ako sa trabaho. They were still finalizing the plot and they invited me in. Madam Lorraine encouraged Rien and I would bond so we could squeeze our creative juices together. They didn't question Kiran's decision to make me one of the head writers, instead of only becoming a helping hand to Rien.

"Bakit namamaga mata mo?" Rien said as he slowly scooted over to make room for me.

Umupo ako sa tabi n'ya. "Halata ba?"

He glanced at me, the pad of his fingers gently grazing over the side of my eyes. "Yeah. Want some ice?"

Tumayo si Rien at pumunta ng pantry para kumuha ng yelo mula sa refrigerator. Mabilis din siyang bumalik upang lagyan ang mga mata ko. I closed my eyes as soon as I saw him wrapping the ice on a soft face towel. He gently dabbed it on my eyes, making sure I was comfortable with the interaction with coldness.

"Hindi mo ba itatanong anong dahilan ng pag-iyak ko?" I asked him.

"Sasabihin mo ba kung tinanong ko?" mahinahon n'yang wika.

Ngumiti ako. "You know. . .the Voldemort of writing?"

"What?"

"The forbidden thing to say or ask when it comes to writing, or passion in general," sabi ko sa kan'ya. "Money."

Bahagyang natahimik si Rien pero patuloy siya sa paglagay ng yelo sa aking mata. With our current distance, I could smell the distinct smell of roasted vanilla and cardamom. He smells like warmth in the winter.

"What about it?"

"Parang ang hirap kasing pagkakitaan ng bagay na passion mo," I told him and my hands clenched. "Ayoko nga sana pagkakitaan dahil pakiramdam ko dumudoble yung pressure sa akin kapag may pera na involved yung ginagawa ko. I'm lucky that I get to be paid for something that I want to do. . .but sometimes it overwhelms me. What if it all becomes about earning? Or gaining money out of it?"

Rien slowly bobbed his head as if he got my point. "So, there's guilt when you monetize something that you are passionate about? Is that it?"

Unti-unti akong tumango. "Kaya nga iniisip ko kumuha ng isa pang trabaho na hindi connected sa pagsusulat. Then, I could write freely without thinking that it's my job."

The reason why I took ghost writing projects was because of the stipend and I couldn't feel the burden of putting a price on my passion. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay tumutulong lang naman ako, o di kaya ay hindi naman ito madidikit sa akin. It was also my way to cope with the loss of my first script. I thought that maybe if I normalized the feeling of writing for someone else, then I wouldn't feel the pain anymore.

"Really? You can work while you write?" Nanglaki ang mga mata ni Rien. "I mean. . .I thought you treat it as a job already. Gusto mo pa pala magtrabaho ng iba?"

"Hindi ba. . .ganoon naman dapat?" I bitterly said, nanatiling nakapikit pa rin. "The reality is, people expect that writers are not meant to pursue art as their source of income. People often refused to pay for art. It's hard enough to deal with the guilt; then you have to deal with people's perception of artists as well—that we are only passionate about our crafts if it was done for the sake of art itself, that we shouldn't expect to gain any financial profit out of it."

"Well. . .that is how we were conditioned to think," Rien barely shrugged. "We were conditioned to think that something that we do out of fulfillment shouldn't be compensated with money because it feels like we're only doing it out of earning. We were also conditioned to think that once we are earning from our craft, we should be motivated to do it more easily. Kahit ang totoo ay nakaka-burn out 'yon."

"There's also this internal pressure that we might be robbing the joy of writing once we put price tags on our words. We are afraid of losing our passion once the reality of money barges in. That's why we want to separate earning and passion, because we think they can't come in pairs," dugtong n'ya.

Ah.

Finally.

Someone who gets me.

I was always torn between gaining money out of my passion because it felt wrong. I feel like I was betraying my passion. Kahit ang ibang tao, ang iniisip nila ay walang pera sa arts dahil alam nila sa sarili nila na hindi sila magbabayad para sa 'art' lang. We were always the ones who felt like we shouldn't put higher value on our work because people would refuse to pay for it; that it should be free because we did it out of passion.

"Takot ka rin bang masabihan na mukhang pera?" Nanglaki ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman na tinanggal na n'ya ang yelo rito.

Rien chuckled in response. "To be honest? Sino bang hindi mukhang pera?"

Natawa rin ako. I saw a small smile on Rien's face and for some reason, I wondered if his readers wouldn't fall in love with him once they knew that his smile was as lovely as his words.

"You should honor the time, creativity, and dedication you've put on your crafts, Nacia. Don't deprive yourself of putting value on doing what you love," wika n'ya sa mahinahon na tono.

. ₊ ⊹ .

After our talk, pumunta na kami sa conference room para pag-usapan ang tungkol sa script. The aircon was so high that I had to rub my arms to feel some heat. Malapit pa kasi ako sa mismong aircon kaya naman ramdam na ramdam ko ang lamig nito.

"The premise will be about a writer and a director," sabi ni Alejandro habang nakatayo. "Tapos? This premise was already done in The Script of Us—"

"Na mag-ex," habol ni Rien. "Napagusapan namin ni Kiran na dapat mag-ex yung dalawang bida. It would lead the audience to seek why they didn't end up together."

I looked at Kiran but he refused to look at me. Is he directing a film like this because. . .he can relate?

"Parang Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ang ganap? Tama ba? It would gradually reveal their past and the movie progresses onwards?" Alejandro wrote on the white board with the caption 'for references'.

"Hindi ba mas masakit kung ipapakita muna yung mga sweet moments nila? Tapos biglang magbe-break up?" sabi ko sa kanila. "I mean. . .we should build up the momentum first."

"Yup, but that's how The Script Of Us was made," Alejandro butted in. "Unless you want to be Pablo Bello the 2nd?"

I scoffed at the mention of his name. I know the plot well, because I was the one who wrote it. Pati nga yata pangalan ng mga bida roon ay di naman yata pinalitan.

Rien played with his lips by pinching the lower part of it. "Naisip namin na nagpaparinigan yung director saka yung writer, through their works. That both of them drew inspiration out of each other. And they're bound to work with each other again, but due to the conflicting feelings, nadadamay yung movie na ginagawa nila."

"Anong conflict? Creative differences?" tanong ko at bahagyang napatingin kay Kiran.

Kiran shot up an eyebrow at me. Sungit talaga nito.

"Both of them had different versions of their break up, kasi," sabi ni Alejandro. "Based on the initial draft of Kiran and Rien, their break up wasn't mutually made."

"Sino nakipag-break?" tanong ko at naglabas ng notebook. Since this is the official date of me joining the creative process, ngayon ko pa lang talaga nalalaman yung plot. No'ng una kasi ay tutulong lang dapat ako sa paggawa ng script talaga, I have no input with the plot of the movie.

"Yung writer," malamig na sagot ni Kiran.

Oh. May pinaglalaban talaga ang isang ito. I wonder if the people around us already have a clue because Kiran's definitely not discreet about it.

Napalunok ako. "Ah bakit daw?"

"Ewan ko," he shrugged. "Tanong mo sa kan'ya."

Tangina nito oh. Napamura ako sa isip ko at hinabaan ang aking pasensya. It's okay, Nacia. Do it for the bills. Siya ang nagbigay sa 'yo ng trabaho na ito kaya plastikin mo na lang.

"Ah, sige, mamaya ay tatawagan ko," pabalang ko na sagot ko at nagawa pang ngumiti.

"Pakitanong na rin kung bakit ang bilis n'yang sumuko. Thanks." Ngumiti si Kiran nang mapangasar sa akin. His eyes even turned to slits as if to mock me.

Ngumiti ako pabalik. "Sige lang. Pakitanong din doon sa director kung bakit ang bilis n'yang makahanap ng pamalit, salamat."

Nalaglag ang ngiti n'ya sa akin. I smiled sweetly at him because I knew that it hit a nerve. Bakit? Totoo naman ah. He already has a girlfriend. Dapat ay nandoon na ang focus n'ya. He shouldn't. . .really care about me anymore. Pero wala rin akong karapatan sabihin na dapat ay wala na siyang pakialam dahil alam kong nasaktan ko rin siya noon.

"Parang totoong tao naman yung mga characters dito sa movie," halakhak ni Alejandro.

Nanatiling tahimik si Rien pero sumusulyap siya sa aming dalawa ni Kiran. Pareho naman kaming nanahimik ni Kiran dahil alam namin na kapag nagsalita pa kami ay mahuhuli na talaga.

I don't mind him getting inspiration from our relationship. Kahit naman ako ay may mga nilagay tungkol sa kan'ya sa mga sinulat kong nobela. His fragments were all over my novels, and I'm grateful that he was part of it even if he wasn't aware. I know that I hurt him way too deep to expect him to forgive me. Hindi rin naman ako humihingi ng tawad para magkabalikan kami.

I would only pull him towards an endless path of misery. Sarili ko nga ay hirap pa akong ipagtanggol. Paano pa kaya ang relasyon naming dalawa?

Lumabas na kami ng conference room at sinundan ng mga mata ko si Kiran. He went to the balcony and for some reason, I found myself following his footsteps.

Nakasandal siya sa railings at kumuha ng lighter mula sa kan'yang bulsa. He was about to light a cigarette but he noticed me. Agad n'yang tinago 'yon at malamig na bumaling ng tingin sa akin.

"Bakit?"

"Does she make you happy?" I smiled at him. I wanted to make sure because. . .I was trying to find a silver lining for our break up. Na baka kaya hindi kaming dalawa ay dahil para siya sa ibang taong kaya siyang pahalagahan.

"Sino?"

"Agape," my voice cracked.

He was momentarily silent. Hanggang sa unti-unti siyang tumango. "Yes."

"I'm glad," I said, even if my heart was pounding against my chest. "She's beautiful and she seemed to be kind. Masaya ako na masaya ka sa kan'ya."

"It isn't the happiness that makes me feel giddy," sagot ni Kiran sa marahan na tono. "It's the happiness that I can trust her not to break my heart."

I nodded slowly. "I hope she doesn't."

Umangat ang tingin sa akin ni Kiran. He bitterly smiled. "You know what's funny?"

I glanced back at him. Pareho kaming nakatingin sa isa't isa. I can no longer see the Kiran that I used to shelter inside my heart. This one seemed to be ruthless and cold. But maybe because he didn't want to let me see his vulnerable side anymore. Maybe all along he only used to be soft on me.

"What?"

"Agape had the same offer. . ." Kiran drawled slowly. "From Senator Killian."

Napalunok naman ako sa narinig ko sa kan'ya. I could hear the betrayal and hurt in his voice as he spoke. He looked at me, and it made my heart shattered like crystals, pinong-pino at tila abo na. It was the same look that my mother and father often gave me—pure disappointment for my own choices.

"Pero nagawa n'yang magtiwala na hindi naman mabibilog ni Senator Killian ang desisyon namin," he smirked bitterly. "And for fuck's sake, hindi ko alam bakit ang sakit para sa akin na hindi mo nagawa 'yon. I loved you, Nacia. And I wouldn't put you in any danger, but I also know how to fight against my own father. Kaya ni Agape ipaglaban yung pagmamahal n'ya. . .kaya n'ya magtiwala, so why couldn't you? Why was it easy for you to drop me as soon as you could? Why was it easy for you to leave me behind?"