Hey, Luce? I remember you saying that Luciel was your baptismal name, and I was just wondering why you go by it? Luciel was Lucifer's name before he fell, right? Is that why you use it? Because you think you're one step away from becoming darkness? Or is it because Luciel means Bringer of Light? Because I think that definition fits you better. You certainly bring light to my life! God, that was cheesy, wasn't it? Aah, forget I said that.

You probably have no idea why I'm bringing this up so suddenly, but I've been thinking about my mom a lot more lately. I found this old bracelet she gave me in the bottom of my suitcase. I had thought I lost it ages ago--I was really upset about that--but I guess it just got shoved into a side pocket when I was packing. Not surprising, I'm a horrible packer. I just push everything in willy-nilly and then have my dad sit on the suitcase so that I can zip it up.

But I'm rambling. The reason I'm bringing up names is that this bracelet has a little computer charm on it. That's probably super strange to you seeing as I'm terrible at technology, but it has to do with my name. My mother would tell me often was that I was named after Ada Lovelace.

Now, I had no idea who Ada Lovelace was, so I Googled her. Why not? It turns out her full name was Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace, and she was an English mathematician. Not super surprising; my mom really loved math and science and looked up to people from history in that field. But it turns out Ada Lovelace was also recognized as the first computer programmer, which just seems like cruel irony to me.

Either my mom was hoping I'd be some master computer whiz or she just wanted me to be math and science oriented. Either way, I feel like I've failed to live up to my name, as I'm studying to work in an English field. I hate math, and the only thing I was good at science-wise was blowing things up.

So I guess you'll just have to teach me your hacker skills so I can make her proud. Which means we'll have to meet in person. And if you don't, I'm tracking down your location and stealing all your Honey Buddha Chips.

*laughter*

God, I'm such a weirdo. Oh! You asked me what I did for a living a bit ago, and I told you I was studying to become a teacher, remember? Well, I just got through with final exams--online of course, but since I'm kinda stuck here I might as well do my school stuff--and I'm so nervous for the results. Whenever I think about it, my organs feel like they're going to war in my abdominal cavity. I really hope I pass because I've wanted to be an English teacher since I was little.

I still remember my English teacher in grade eight. She's the teacher I really want to be like. She was in a band as well, so she'd bring her guitar to class and sing songs that had similes or metaphors in them, and we all went to her concerts to support her. She was so kind and supportive, but she didn't take shit from anybody.

There was this one kid that was absolutely awful to her; he'd yell out swear words in the middle of lectures or tests and try his best to make her job difficult. I'm pretty sure he never did any work, but I know for a fact he didn't do shit in group projects because he got put in my group a lot.

Well, he was like this for about half the year, and then one day she asked him to stay after school to help her with something. I have no idea what they did or talked about, but after that, he was much more respectful in her class; he even participated some. He wasn't perfect obviously, but he actually put in the effort. And he got along really well with the teacher. He'd stay after class to talk with her a lot, and they joked with each other in class.

She's really the reason I want to be a teacher. I want to help a kid who's struggling like that. I want to make English as fun for kids as she did for me. I guess that's pretty dumb, huh? Doctors or police or firefighters inspire other people, and I'm over here with a teacher for a hero.

What about you, Luce? Did you ever want to be anything other than a hacker? I always feel weird because I'm talking so much about myself and I never get to hear your responses, but you keep telling me these recordings are helpful, so I'll keep them coming.

I don't want you to worry too much about me, okay? Just do your job first and then find the hacker. You're much more useful to the RFA alive than murdered by your super secret organization, and it'll be a pain to track them down and exact my revenge for killing my friend if they do off you for not doing your work. I can feel you laughing at me as you listen to this, but don't think I won't come after them if they hurt you. You mean too much to me for me to lose you without a fight.

God, I need to get some sleep. I always say super embarrassing things when I'm tired. It's tough to sleep in an unfamiliar place, though. I wish I could do this work at home. Not that I regret joining, of course. It's just eerie sleeping in the bed of a dead woman. It's like I can feel her watching me fuck up her apartment from beyond the grave.

*phone ringtone*

Shit, it's my dad. I have to go now, Luce. Take care of yourself, okay? Make sure you eat a proper meal--no, Honey Buddha Chips don't count--and get some sleep, okay? I'm serious about tracking down your house and forcing you to take care of your health.

Love you lots. Uh, platonically, of course. Agh, I'm a fucking mess.

Does anyone else accidentally say I love you when hanging up with someone and then instantly regret life? Because I occasionally do (mostly with friends, so not a big deal, but still) and then spend the next couple of minutes cringing so hard my neck disappears.

Also, Japanese Breakfast is an amazing band. That is all.