NICO

Nico, Age 9 / Bella, Age 8

She forgot me. Again. It's the second time this week.

I'm sitting on the edge of the sidewalk with my backpack around my shoulders, watching the cars go by, convincing myself that any second now, my mom will pull up in her Bentley and apologize for being late. But I'm already familiar with this situation and know that I'm just feeding myself false hope. Because she forgot me. Because she always forgets me.

On Monday, mom blamed forgetting to pick me up from camp on an "important lunch meeting" at Meadows Country Club. Last week, her excuse was because she was in Massachusetts at some sort of spa retreat. I almost wish she were just honest with me and admit that I'm not the priority that I should be in her life.

Tired of waiting - tired of hoping - I reach for my cell phone that's in the side pocket of my backpack and make a call that I really don't want to have to make.

"Nico, sweetheart, everything okay?" Bella's mom Carrie answers on the second ring. Her question is exactly why I didn't want to dial her. I hate how concerned she sounds. I didn't mean to cause her any type of worry.

"Yeah, yeah," I say, trying to downplay my tone, even though I hear my voice shaking. "Um, Carrie...I hate to do this to you, and it's okay if you can't...but...uh...any chance you can pick me up from camp?"

"Ms. Cooper, Dr. Peterson is ready to see you now. You can follow me," I hear some lady say in the background.

There's a slight pause and then, "Of course, Nico, dear. I'll be right there," she tells me, clearly not knowing that I hear she's at a doctor's appointment. 

What she has going on is more important, so I digress. "Oh. No. It's okay, Carrie. I didn't mean to bother you."

"You're never bothering me, Nico, sweetheart," she tells me otherwise. "I'm on my way."

She must've thought that she ended the call, but she didn't because I hear her muffle to the lady:

"Can I please reschedule my appointment?"

It takes Carrie less than 15 minutes to get to me, and when she pulls up, she immediately puts the car in park and comes over to where I'm sitting. I wish I stood up before she had the chance to exit the car, but I'm hurting so badly emotionally that I can't really move physically.

She places a hand over my shoulder and looks at me with sympathy. It's not pity; it's comfort. "I'm so sorry, Nico," she says because she knows why I'm sad. She knows that my mom didn't show up.

"It's okay," I lie, wiping away at my eye before the tear can fall down my cheek. "Let's just go."

We get into the car, and I open the vent so that I can feel the cool air on my skin. It gets so hot in Wilmington in the summer.

"Did you try calling her?" Carries softly asks. She knows that I know who she's referring to.

I feel her eyes on me so I just nod my head and keep my head down, ashamed that I'm feeling these emotions even though I know that I'm entitled to feel them. I hate putting this responsibility onto Carrie. I hate that she left her doctor's appointment to take care of me. It's not her job. I'm not her job.

"You hungry? Want to stop for a bite to eat?" she asks.

"No, thanks," I tell her and she lends me an apprehensive smile. I know that she's trying hard to be strong for me.

"Why don't you come over? Bella's home. She's making chocolate chip cookies with Grandma Ruby."

As tempted as I am to say yes, to see Bella, I'm not in the best of moods right now. I know Bella - she'd make my problem hers. And while I appreciate her care, I also don't want to be a burden to her. I want her to know that she never has to carry the weight of my problems on her shoulders. Not with me. Never with me.

"That's okay," I say. "I think I'll just go home."

"I don't think you should be alone, Nico. Come on. Bella will be so happy to see you."

I take a few seconds to think. Carrie's right. Being alone in that big, empty house won't be good for me. I need to take a deep breath in and push my hurt to the side for the time being. I'll revisit my emotions later. Plus, I know that one look at Bella will destroy every piece of sadness in my body. Just like it always does.

***

"Mom, Isabella, we have a surprise guest tonight!" Carrie remarks when we walk through the front door.

Bella runs out from the kitchen dressed in jean shorts, a white t-shirt, and high-top Converse sneakers. Her hair is in a messy pony, but she looks perfect to me. I'm so happy when I see her smile go wide. 

"Nico!!!" she shrieks, going in for a tight hug. It's the best feeling in the world.

"Hi, BC," I chuckle, gently pressing my palm into her back.

Grandma Ruby walks out next, holding a large mixing bowl and a spatula. "Nico! What a lovely surprise. I'm so happy to see you."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," I tell them, meaning it. I glance at Carrie, who smiles at me, and I smile back.

I follow them into the kitchen, and immediately feel at home, like I always do when I'm here. I'm grateful for Bella and her family; I've never doubted their place in my life for a second. The kindness and love that they've shown me from day one doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. These people mean more to me than they will ever know.

"Okay, Nico. Want to help Bella roll the cookie dough up into little balls?"

"Grandma, unless you want burnt cookies, I don't think that's the best idea," Bella teases, looking at me with a sly expression, and I can't help but smile. This girl makes me feel everything all at once and I don't even think she knows it.

I'll tell her one day. Not today. But one day, I'll tell her everything.

***

Present Day

I'm heading for my car that's parked on the street in town when I see Carrie walking with a few grocery bags in her hands.

"Carrie!" I call out with a wave. I'm standing several feet away from her, so she squints her eyes at me.

"Nico, sweetheart, hi!" she says, taking steps in my direction and dropping the bags to the cement floor once she gets to me.

"Doing some damage, I see," I say, nodding to the bags.

"Yup. Grandma Ruby's cooking tonight, so I offered to run a few errands for her."

"You're a good daughter," I say. "Here, let me help you with those."

"Oh, no, don't worry about it. I parked a few blocks down, so it's a bit of a walk."

"All the more reason why I should!"

We make it to her car a few minutes later, and I help place the bags in the trunk.

"Where are you off to now?" she asks me once she shuts it. 

"Well, I was supposed to meet Brooks for coffee, but he just bailed, so I'll probably head home."

She looks at me and then says, "You know what? I could go for a little pick-me-up. What do you say?"

"Yeah?" I ask and she happily nods. "Let's do it!"

We head to Melly's - my spot with Bella - and take the table that's situated toward the front of the diner.

"So, how is your summer going? I feel like I haven't seen you as much as I usually do," Carrie says.

"I know. It's been...busy, I guess."

"Bella told me about your girlfriend," she says as she pours a packet of brown sugar into her hot cup of coffee.

"Ex-girlfriend," I'm quick to correct her, making sure that I emphasize the word 'ex'.

"Ex?" she asks. "Bella didn't mention that she was an ex."

"Uh...that's because Bella doesn't know yet. The breakup just happened."

"Oh," she says, bringing the beverage to her lips. "Well, I hope everything worked out in the end."

"It did," I say, hesitating as I chew on my lower lip.

Ever since I was younger, I always felt a strong bond with Bella's mom. I guess it's because she always treated me like her own. When my mom was absent from my life, Carrie was present. I don't think she knows how grateful I am for her. How grateful I'll always be.

"I'll be honest with you, Carrie, I didn't want that relationship in the first place."

That gets her attention and she looks up at me. "No?"

I shake my head. "No. My parents kind of pushed me into dating her. You know how they can be..." She doesn't say anything, and I'm not looking for her to because there's something else I need to confess. "You know, Carrie, I've always ever felt like there's only one girl out there for me."

She smiles at me again, nodding her head just once. "I know. I think she feels the same way back."

I'm grinning like an idiot after hearing those words so I look down at the table to hide it. My timing with Bella has never been right, but that's going to change. I'll make sure of it.

I used to think that being with the right person should and would always feel easy. Because if that person was the "right" one and was meant to be in your life, it would just happen seamlessly. No questions asked. No hurdles in the way. But what I've come to realize the second that my heart chose Bella was that maybe loving who you're meant to love isn't supposed to be easy. Maybe, it's supposed to be complicated and consuming. Maybe, it's supposed to challenge you, scare you even. Yeah, I can argue that "easy" is great and comfortable. But how do two people grow in comfort? How do two people become something more in comfort?

"Hey," she says and I look back up at her, "what are you doing tonight? Why don't you come over for dinner?"