Chapter 34

"Penelope?" Winston answered, after a few long rings. His voice was panicked. "Is that you?"

   "Hey," I said quietly, walking across the room. "Yeah, its me."

   "Thank God," he breathed out. "Are you okay?"

   "I am," I answered, then took a breath before continuing.  "On Saturday morning, when I woke up, Asa's patrol officer was at the door. My mom wasn't there. That was that."

   "So where are you? I went to your house, and then I talked to Alex..." Winston's voice changed a bit, like I could hear him relaxing, even if just a tiny bit.

   "I'm in Brooklyn, in a foster home. At least for a few weeks," I sighed. "I only get to use my phone on Wednesday and Friday -"

   "What about Christmas?" His voice was so quiet now, and sounded defeated. He knew there was nothing he could do for me. "Pen, I was going crazy, not knowing if you were okay."

   I took another deep breath. "I'll be here for Christmas. We can have visitors for an hour, but..."

   "Do you want me to come? Do you even... still want to be with me?" he asked.

   I sat down on the edge of the bed. I didn't have to hesitate. "Yes. I can get more details, and let you know... and yes.... I want to be with you, Winston. But I just don't know what's going to happen..."

   "Pen, I'm so sorry that Miranda and Marcus were talking shit, and you heard them, and that you were mad -"

   "It's fine. I over-reacted. I was drunk, and just scared, thinking that I was just a mistake for you," I admitted, twisting the bottom of my shirt in my fingers.

   Winston let out a laugh, which surprised me. "No, Pen. You are my best decision."

   He told me that he explained everything to his dad, who agreed that him living with his mom wasn't a good fit anymore. He was moving to his dad's apartment for the rest of the school year - and he was allowed to stay at the same school, too. His mother was angry with him, but decided to open his account for him, after the threat of lawyers getting involved, from his dad. Everything was getting better, for Winston. And I was so happy for him.

   "I love you, Penelope," he whispered, just before I had to hang up.

   I swallowed hard, shutting my eyes. "I love you, too."

   The next few days passed by and Asa and I were becoming comfortable in the house, with the other kids, and with Shelly and Mark. It was still sort of weird and new, but I felt better overall, having talked to both Lex and Winston. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.

   At the group meeting two days before Christmas, all of the details were given about visitors coming to the house.

   "The hour is either 12 P.M. to 1 P.M., or 1P.M. to 2 P.M. The visits are in our main living space only, no bedrooms," Shelly explained, smiling. Maxine let out a loud laugh. "Friends and family are welcome."

   My heart rate sped up. I couldn't believe I would actually get to see Winston.

   Mary had news for Asa and I, too.

   "Your mother went home last week. We know because Jim left her a note to call him if she saw it."

   "So, what does that mean?" Asa asked her, eyes wide.

   "Jim spoke with her, asking her to meet him at the office the next day. She didn't show up," Mary went on.

   I rolled my eyes, not surprised. "So...?"

   "So, you guys will remain here, for now. Your mother will have a warrant out for her arrest, and once they bring her in, she will be charged. Next week I will bring the paper work for your release, once you're eighteen." Mary told us this carefully, not knowing how we'd react.

   I looked at Asa, as Mary continued.

   "If we get all the paperwork in quickly, Asa should be released to you after two weeks. Though you'll need a place to live, and a job. We'll help you get all set up -"

   I took in a quick breath. It was a lot to process. "Okay. Thank you."

   So, without her saying it, it was obvious that we weren't going to see our mother for awhile. I was okay with it, and with taking care of Asa. But I knew that I wanted us to live in the city. I just really hoped it was a possibility.

   We got to use our phones on Christmas Eve, to tell our visitors the details. I called to tell Winston the address and time, and he was practically in tears on the other end of the line.

   "I can't wait to hug you," he whispered in my ear. "We're going to be okay, Penelope. I promise."

   "I have to get a place to live when I'm released, and then it'll take a couple weeks before they will let Asa come and live with me. I might have to live in, like, an apartment here. In Brooklyn. I need a new job-"

   "Penelope, I'll help in any way I can. I swear. And tomorrow I am going to just look at you for an hour... like..."

   I smiled. "Just look at me?"

   "It's been almost two weeks."

   "I know. And it might be two more weeks after tomorrow..."

   "I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes," he promised.

   In the morning, while the Christmas music was blasting and we ate warm muffins and croissants, we all sat in the living room and opening a few presents. Shelly and Mark had given Asa a brand name sweatshirt that he loved, and me a necklace with a moon pendant. It was beautiful. They had only known us for under two weeks but they made us feel like a part of their family. Kylie had been there two years and Max and Peter for one year, but they treated us all the same.

   The minutes passed by slowly until it was time for the visits. Asa got his visit for the first hour, and Macy's sister dropped her off right on time. I tried not to hover or annoy them as they sat on the couch in the main room, talking and holding hands. Macy showed him the jacket her parents had given her for Christmas and she brought him a little box with a key chain on it, engraved with A and M. They were just kids, fifteen, but I was so proud of him, how much he'd grown up, and how he was dealing with this mess we were in.

   Winston knocked on the door at 1 P.M., just after Peter's best friend Justin came in. I opened the door and leaped towards him, hugging him tightly in the doorway.

   In the main room, we sat, close. Shelly introduced herself to Winston and then said she'd leave us alone, though Peter and Justin were just across the room, laughing and visiting. Winston was too quiet, squeezing his hands in his lap. He actually looked uncomfortable.

   "Hi," I whispered, smiling at him.

   "I'm here," he said, shaking his head a bit. "We're together."

   "Yeah."

   He leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a second. "Pen, I was so afraid I was losing you. You were the reason I was able to stand up to my mother. She's bullied me for my whole life and you, you made me feel strong enough to... stop it."

   "Winston, I didn't-"

   "You are the reason I am who I am right now. You're the reason I'm not drunk every weekend, not remembering anything I did. You changed me," he went on, then I kissed him before he could say anything else.

   Peter and Justin were staring and then burst out laughing as we pulled away. I didn't even care. Winston was proving again to be exactly who I needed him to be. We were only eighteen, we didn't know what our futures would bring, but we knew we found each other for a reason. We both needed someone to love them.

   Going back to school was strange, even though no one there besides Lydia and Lex knew what had happened to me. I'd already found a new job, at the coffee shop by my school, within a week. It was part time and mostly weekends, some evenings, but it was good enough for now. Mary helped set up an apartment for me in the East Village, in a low income building. I would be  able to pay rent and buy food and Asa and I would be okay. Jim, the patrol officer, would still check in with us, and Mary promised she would, too. It all happened fast and it was super scary, but it all felt right, somehow.

   Our mother ended up out on bail - by a new boyfriend, no less - but we only heard from her once, in January. She apologized and cried on the phone, asking me to tell Asa how sorry she was. He refused to talk to her. I listened to her explain how she'd lost her jobs, had no money and was staying with her new boyfriend. She was too embarrassed to tell me this, at the time. She apparently thought we would be fine on our own. She knew about Jim and the foster home, but she didn't barely mention it. I told her we were good, and that we didn't need her anymore. I had no idea if Asa or I would ever have a relationship with her again. Only time would tell, I guess.

   Winston got into Yale, early acceptance, and we celebrated with pizza and a movie night, with Asa and Macy, in March. I was proud of him, and happy for him. I knew it meant he would have to leave, that summer. Of course he knew I had to stay, for Asa. But somehow things felt like they would be okay, for us. I would continue to work, full time after I graduated, and Asa and I would take care of each other.

*

   "It's an hour away," Winston mumbled into my ear, a few nights before he was leaving, to move into his dorm.

   We had talked about it a million times over the past few months. We had cried, we had laughed. He'd spent most of his time in Asa and my apartment, when we weren't at school. He even went there to hang out with Asa when I was working. I met his dad, who seemed like a really good man. He really loved Winston, too. I could tell.

   "An hour is nothing," I whispered back.

   "I'll be back every weekend," he promised.

   "I'll be waiting," I told him.

   And I kissed him hard that August morning, outside my apartment, before he got into his car to drive to New Haven. He didn't want to let me go, but I finally pulled back, whispering that he was going to be amazing. He grabbed me again, kissing my head.

  "I want, like, three more minutes," he told me.

   I laughed, because it was cute that he was being the needy one.

  I touched his hair, pushing it back out of his face. "Go, be great. You know I'm not going anywhere."

   "You better not," he grinned, then kissed me again. "You're my home."

   "I love you," I said, even though I'd said it tons of time since that first time.

   "I love you," he repeated, then raised his eyebrows at me. "Don't miss me too much."

   I let out a laugh, covering my mouth. "Call me when you get settled in?"

   "You know I will."

   "Okay."

   "Okay."

   I watched him as he got into the car, blew me a kiss and then started the engine. I was still watching, tears in my eyes, as he waved quickly before pulling away from the curb, off to start his new adventure at college. But I knew he'd call me that night. I knew he'd be back, buzzing my apartment from the lobby, that Friday night. I knew because Winston Duke wasn't that guy that everyone said he was. He was better.