Chapter 25

There was so much I wanted to say but I could tell he didn't want to talk. I was the one with the rough life, the single mother and the crappy house across the bridge. But he was right when he said that the other side is not always better. Having money, the nice house, fancy car – it couldn't always make you happy. It was obviously Winston's mom didn't care much about him, either.

Winston pulled into a coffee shop parking lot and turned off the car fifteen minutes later. We hadn't really talked at all. The radio was on, playing catchy pop songs. It all felt very wrong.

"It's too early for the movie. Is this okay?" he asked me, shrugging.

"Yeah... of course," I told him. "Winston... she didn't even say happy birthday to you."

"It's fine. That's not important to her. And then she'll want praise when I get access to my money, whenever she gets around to that." I could tell he was not okay.

"Your money?" I asked, confused.

He shrugged again. "My grandfather - her father - was a wealthy businessman. He died a couple years ago, and James and I got money put away for us for college and for when we turned eighteen."

"That's... nice," I said, because I had no idea what else to say.

"Sorry, I know this is awkward." He dropped his head, fiddling with his keys.

"I'm more concerned that your mom didn't even care about your birthday," I told him.

"Yeah, well, I'm not surprised," he finished, then opened the car door and got out, waving for me to do the same.

Inside the cafe, we sat at a small table and drank coffee and ate muffins. He told me about the movie he wanted to go see - an action/thriller. I just liked being with him, so anything was fine with me. He checked the time for the movie and the earlier one was in two hours, so we sat there, letting the time pass slowly. We talked a bit, and sipped our coffees. I knew he was not okay about his mom, but I didn't ask about it again.

I never would have thought that I would be feeling bad for him. Like, ever. He had it all - that life in the city that I thought was way better than mine. But as I watched him across the table, I could tell he was hurting. And that really hurt my heart.

Lex texted before we got to the theatre. I checked it but didn't reply.

ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT? he asked.

In the theatre, during the movie, Winston held my hand tightly in his lap, sneaking a few kisses here and there. It all felt very normal and good, while also feeling rushed, and serious. His mom had called me his girlfriend, which I knew I wasn't. But he sure acted like I was, sometimes.

It was still early, before 4 P.M., when the movie ended, but we went for sushi anyway. It wasn't something that I got a chance to eat often, and it was so good. Being with Winston for the whole day was so good. I didn't have to worry about Asa, or my mother, or anything. It felt really good to be a little more normal.

"Thank you," Winston said, smiling before popping a California roll into his mouth. "Today has been the best day... I was dreading this birthday, honestly."

"Why? You're eighteen now," I laughed.

"It's just complicated," he said, then his phone dinged. He ignored it. "My mom doesn't think I'm responsible enough to have the money... she wants to wait to give it to me until I got to college."

"Oh. Yale?" I asked, sipping my water.

He nodded. "Likely. It's only an hour away. My brother goes to NYU but I wanted to get away from New York for awhile... I mean... I wanted to."

"That's cool. It's good that you have a plan. I have no plan. At all," I admitted, looking at my plate.

"Really? Why not?"

His phone dinged again.

"I just wanted to leave Williamsburg, for so long. But now I feel responsible for Asa, making sure he stays out of trouble."

"It's not your responsibility, but I get it," Winston nodded, then finally looked at his phone. "Shit. My dad says happy birthday but also that I better get home to get ready for the gala."

"Oh. You're going to go?" I asked, surprised.

"I don't have a choice." He reached across the table to touch my hand. "Even on my birthday, everything is about my mother."

Back in Williamsburg, I asked him to pull in to a little bakery a few blocks from my house. I ran in to grab a cupcake and came back to the car, holding it out for him. His eyes were wide.

"Happy birthday," I whispered.

He took it, licking at the icing right away. "Wow. Thank you."

"I didn't know if anyone would get you a cake, or..."

He shook his head. "Not likely."

I leaned in to kiss his cheek as he finished the cupcake. His face had some stubble on it now. He grinned and thanked me again before starting the car. He was looking at me now, in a way he hadn't before. I didn't know what exactly had changed, but I knew it had.

He parked on the road out front of my house a few minutes later, then looked at me, his eyes sad.

"I wanted to keep you with me all night, again," he admitted. "I do not want to go to this event."

I smiled at him, my cheeks flushed. "Next Friday?"

"Yeah. You really want to go to the dance with me? And the after party?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I do."

"And you don't care that you'll miss your school's dance?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

He was quiet for a minute, then he touched my hair, holding some between his fingers. His expression was hard to read, now.

"Can I call you later?" he finally asked, then added, "I might be drunk."

"You can call me whenever," I told him, trying not to sound desperate.

"Thank you again, for actually letting me enjoy my birthday," he told me, like I had actually done anything.

"I was just... with you," I smiled.

"Exactly."

Asa and my mom were in the kitchen when I went into the house, but then I noticed someone else at the table, next to Asa. A girl. It was dinner time now, though I was full of sushi. I dropped my bag by the door and slipped out of my shoes, looking over at the table.

"Oh, Penny! I didn't know you'd be home for dinner," mom said right away, put down her fork.

They were eating what looked like a home cooked meal. Vegetables, rice, chicken? I couldn't remember ever eating a meal like that, that she had made. Asa smiled at me, but looked unsure. I was so confused.

"Winston and I ate dinner early because he had to be home for... a family thing," I answered, just standing there awkwardly.

"Oh, well, join us anyway? You know Macy, I assume?" mom went on.

I looked at her, Macy, with that bleach-blonde hair and too much make up for a fifteen year old. Her eyes looked worried about what I would say. I didn't really know her.

"Um, yeah. Hey. I have to go deal with something, though... I'll be back in a bit," I finished, walking through to the hallway.

I closed my bedroom door as soon as I was inside. This was crazy. Asa had a girl at the house for dinner. Mom had cooked a meal. I'd spent the entire day in the city with Winston. And now I had to somehow deal with Lex.

SURE. YOU WANT TO TALK? I texted him back, finally.

A few minutes later he replied - I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH YOU. WHY DID YOU HIDE THAT?

WHY? I THINK THAT'S OBVIOUS, I answered.

I GUESS. BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. HOW DID IT EVEN HAPPEN?

I decided to call him instead of doing this all over texts. He answered after only one ring.

"So?" he asked, his voice low.

"We met at the library, I told you that. But after he broke up with Camilla... we started hanging out. As friends," I explained.

"Why? He's such a... what do you see in him?" Lex asked, and I could hear the disgust in his voice.

"Lex, he's not a bad guy. He likes me. It just... feels right," I tried to explain.

"He likes girls, Pen. In general. And getting drunk."

"You don't even know him," I said quietly.

Lex sighed, giving in. "I don't want you to end up hurt. I know you."

"Yeah. Then be happy for me, okay?" I asked, pleading with him.

"Pen..."

"Please, Lex."

"Okay," he finished.

"Okay."

Even though it was Saturday night, I stayed in my bedroom for most of the evening. I felt sort of relieved, now that Lex knew about Winston, but nothing was normal. My mom was acting strange and over the top, like too much of a normal mother, cooking meals for Asa and his girlfriend? Asa was being too... good? It felt like everything might just blow up at any moment.

I was in my comfy pajamas when Asa knocked on my door.

"Yeah?" I called out.

The door opened slowly. "Hey. Why didn't you come back out?"

"Oh, uh, I had to figure something out, with Lex-"

"And?" Asa looked annoyed with me.

"Nothing. It's fine."

"Well, I invited Macy for dinner with mom and it went well, but you hid in your room all night," he accused me. I could tell he was upset.

"I didn't hide, Asa. I'm sorry. I was dealing with something," I said, hoping he'd believe me.

"I was nice to your boyfriend when he was here," Asa snapped. "Macy and I are going to the Winter Dance, too."

"That's great," I forced a smile. "I'm glad you're doing so well."

"You should have came out and visited with us, Penny. I don't want Macy to think you're a bitch."

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to tell him how he ruined everything for me when he got in trouble. I wanted to remind him that I'd given up a lot for him. But I just nodded, because I knew causing a fight now wasn't worth it.

"Sorry, okay? And Winston's not my boyfriend."

"Really? You stayed at his house last night." Asa's expression changed.

"I know."

"So, what is he then?"

"I don't know. We're friends," I said, then took in a deep breath.

"Uh, okay. Are you going to the Winter Dance?" he asked, shifting his weight.

"Uh, no. Not East's."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to Winston's school's dance.  It's the same night," I admitted.

"But he's not your boyfriend?" Now, Asa laughed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Stop."

He finally left my room, and then I really felt bad for not showing more interest in his relationship with Macy. But the truth was, it wasn't that simple for Winston and me. We were so different. Our worlds didn't blend well. His mother already didn't like me, and he was leaving for college in only a bit more than six months. I didn't know what we were, and it really wasn't fair.