Chapter 23

I felt incredibly uncomfortable walking into a house like this one. It was so quiet, and it felt so pristine and perfect, like a house that was for show only. It could have been in a magazine, or on HGTV. It didn't feel like somewhere I should be.

Winston showed me the main floor - sitting room that no one used, the fancy, huge kitchen, and the dining room - and then lead me down to the basement, which was set up like apartment. The main area had a huge sofa and a TV on the wall, some shelves around it. 

"My brother lives down here, too. That's his room," he said, pointing at a door across the room. "He's out tonight."

He lead me to the other door, which was his bedroom. It was huge with a king size bed, a huge closet and a desk, with a laptop. It was clean and smelled like lemon air freshener.

"You know what's weird?" he asked me, pulling me over to his bed.

"What?"

"Before I knew you... I was always drunk. Now, I just don't feel the need to drink." He grinned, still holding my hand.

"You were drunk at my window last Friday night," I laughed.

"Right. But that was because I was forced to go to that stupid event."

I nodded. "So, it's your birthday tomorrow, huh?"

Now, Winston's face changed. "It is."

"And what do you want for your birthday?" I teased.

"Hmm. Just you, with me." I blushed, then moved closer to him. "Can you stay here tonight?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I... I have to text my brother."

"Not your mom?" he asked, but I shrugged.

HEY. YOU HOME AND OKAY? I sent to Asa a few minutes later.

ITS ALMOST 10. OF COURSE IM HOME. WHERE ARE YOU? he replied.

I WORKED UNTIL 9. NOW IM WITH WINSTON.

OHHH. AND?

AND IM STAYING AT HIS PLACE TONIGHT. IF YOU'RE OKAY, I texted back.

IM GOOD. HAVE FUN, PENNY.

I put my phone down again and looked over at Winston. He was looking at his own phone, but glanced up. His smile now was different but I wasn't sure why.

"I can stay," I told him. Even though I was nervous, it felt right.

Winston's bedroom was just this perfect place for us to be tucked away from everything else.

"Good." He brushed a hand down my arm. "I'm so glad you're here. I never want to stay in and chill, but..."

I watched, quiet, as he stood up, unzipped his sweater and took it off. He dropped it over the chair and then grabbed the laptop off the desk.

"Movie?" he asked, sitting back on the bed near me.

"You want to watch a movie?" I asked back, curious.

He narrowed his eyes at me, trying to figure out what I meant. Then he grinned, realizing.

"I'd rather kiss you," he finally said.

I leaned in and let him, and he was slow and gentle at first. After a minute, he was pulling me down, kissing me harder. I liked it, too much. His hands in my hair, at my face, on my body. It all felt like slow motion, and yet so fast at the same time.

Finally, I managed to pull away, my heart racing.

"You... okay?" Winston was breathing heavy, his eyes so bright. He looked worried for a second, like he'd done something wrong.

"Yeah. Yes," I said. "But... will you tell me how many girls you've been with?"

"Oh. Now?" he asked, looking a bit confused.

"I just think we should talk, before we-"

"Hey... Pen... I love kissing you. And I might get carried away sometimes, but... I'm not trying to rush into have sex with you." He was so serious.

"Oh, yeah... I know..." I said quickly.

He sat up, then leaned in as I sat up next to him. I liked how close he wanted to be.

"Okay... so, I guess my first girlfriend was in sophomore year, nothing serious. And then after we broke up, I got so drunk at a party with some girls, and one of them was really into me, and I guess we had sex that night. I don't even remember it. And then last year... I dated a few girls, didn't even have sex with all of them. Then I met Camilla."

I didn't know what to say to this. It wasn't a surprise that he'd been with other girls, but I didn't like to think about him, before us.

"Penelope..." he said, when I didn't say anything.

"I'm a virgin. You were my first date, my first kiss, you were..." I let my voice trail off, embarrassed.

He kissed my head, then leaned in to kiss my nose. "I can't believe I got to be the first guy to kiss you."

"I can't believe that you wanted me," I shrugged.

"Penelope... you are beautiful, sexy, smart, funny... and you had a shitty time in high school so far. But you... you deserve everything."

I kissed him, my hands in his hair this time. He groaned and got closer, somehow.

"You aren't that guy that people think you are," I whispered.

"I was."

I was pretty sure that I wasn't ready to have sex. I didn't have anyone to talk about it with, so how did I know if I was ready? With Winston, things just felt right. And easy. I felt like I belonged there with him, making out in the dark. I'd never really felt like I belonged anywhere before.

His hands just felt right as they wandered over my body, under my shirt. They were warm and welcomed. I felt things with him I'd never felt before. His shirt was off. I kissed his neck and his shoulder and he made noises to let me know that he liked it. I don't know how long it went on for, but I was sure I would have gone along with anything he wanted to do.

But then he pulled away, sitting up again. My brain was foggy and I was confused.

"Wha..."

Winston grinned. "God, you're so... damn."

"What?" I asked again.

"Let's watch a movie."

"Uh. Okay." Had I done something wrong?

"Penelope, I want to be better... you make me want to be better. I can wait... I should wait," he told me.

I wanted to tell him that I was ready, now. But was I? What would change between us afterwards? Would I feel the same way about him? So instead of telling him anything, I sat up and let him slip his arm around me. Then I laid my head on his shoulder while he stared the movie.