Chapter 21

Asa promised he would be fine to get home from school on Thursday, then eventually admitted he was going to Macy's house anyway. I made a mental note to ask Lex if he knew anything about Macy. It seemed like Asa really liked her, but I wanted to make sure it was going to be a good thing for him.

As soon as I texted Winston that he could pick me up from school - that morning - I felt extreme anxiety. What if someone saw me getting into his car? What if it turned into a big, embarrassing scene?

But he didn't text back, and by lunch, I was a bit worried. I texted again, in case he had missed the first one.

"Are you really not taking off work to come to the dance next week?" Sam asked me, sitting across from me at the lunch table.

"Uh, yeah, it sucks," I said, then tried to look disappointed. Finally, I tucked my phone away. "There's other dances, right?"

Camilla laughed and Sam just stared at me. "Spring Formal, and Prom?"

"Right, so, I'll go to those," I answered, tapping the table.

But I had no clue what life would be like by spring, or Prom. I knew that we had to start thinking about college applications, soon. And I'd need to look into scholarships and everything. But it felt impossible to think about spring, now.

I checked my phone again before I went into fourth period, and there was text from Winston, finally.

IM SO SORRY. I CANT COME GET YOU AFTER SCHOOL. THERES SO MUCH DRAMA WITH MY FAMILY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW UPSET I AM THAT I AM NOT ABLE TO COME, BUT IM NOT AT SCHOOL TODAY.

I read it over and few times, feeling sad and angry and worried all at once. I was disappointed, too. I couldn't focus in class and in fifth, Lex knew something was wrong, as I stared blankly at the front of the room.

"Hey, what's with you?" he asked, jabbing my side.

I looked over, forcing a smile. "I'm fine."

"Oookay. Hang tonight? Matt's for pizza and a movie?" he asked.

"Are you always with Matt now? Or Lydia, of course," I snapped, without thinking.

"Uh, no. You never hang out with us anyway." He shook his head, obviously annoyed with me.

"Sorry. My life is a bit more complicated than yours."

He stared at me, then looked away. Lex had always been careful with me. He usually said and did things to ensure I didn't get upset. Now, when he looked back at me, I could tell he was done holding back.

"I know, Pen. But you don't have to use your job and your brother as excuses all the time."

"Not an excuse."

"You're not going to the dance? Since when?" he asked, still annoyed.

"I have to work. And you're going with Lydia," I snapped at him.

"See. Work." He rolled his eyes.

Now I shook my head at him. "Whatever."

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again, deciding he had nothing left to say.

My mom was there when I got home, after taking the train and walking slowly through our neighbourhood. Asa was not home. I hadn't considered what she would think of this. I'd assumed she wouldn't be home until later, so she wouldn't even know that neither of us were home after school.

"Where's your brother?" she asked me right away, without even saying hi.

"Oh. He went to his friend's house for dinner," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Friend?" she shot back.

"Yeah, he has friends. He's doing really good."

"He has to come home after school, in case the patrol officer shows up." She looked tired, and wasn't impressed with me now at all.

Shit. I hadn't thought of this, either.

"Don't they tell you when they are coming?" I asked her.

She shrugged heavily. "Maybe."

"Why are you home, anyway?" I wanted to know. She always worked the evening shift at the diner on Thursday and Friday.

"The diner cut my shifts. Not as busy this time of year." She was avoiding my eyes.

I swallowed hard. "Oh, if you need help with -"

"I'm fine, Penny," she cut me off, waving her hand at me. "Call Asa, tell him to be home by 8 P.M."

I nodded as I watched her leave the room a moment later.

MOM SAID BE HOME BY 8, I texted my brother a few minutes later.

OKAY. THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING HOME AFTER SCHOOL?

CHANGE OF PLANS. YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE TRAIN FROM THERE?

YEAH, SEE YOU BEFORE 8, he finished.

I stared at the text from Winston for a few minutes, then finally replied to it. Hours had passed and I just didn't really know what to say back to him.

NO WORRIES. HOPE THINGS ARE OKAY, I said, though I didn't feel okay.

I was doing homework in my bedroom when Asa came in at 7:30 P.M. I heard him talking to mom in the hallway, then he knocked on my door a minute later. I was relieved he was home and safe.

"Hey," he smiled, pushing my door open.

"Hey," I said back.

"So, why didn't you go out with Winston tonight?" he wanted to know.

I closed the textbook on my lap, sighing. "Something came up."

"Oh. I saw Lex tonight, he was walking with his girlfriend, near his house."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yep. Are you okay?" he asked then, still in the doorway.

"Yes." But I wasn't. "Lex and I had a fight today, and Winston canceled our plans... that's all."

Asa let out a quick laugh. "Oh, that's all?"

"How's Macy?"

His face blushed, light pink. "She's good."

"You know that I had no friends when I was in ninth, tenth and eleventh grade, except Lex, right?" I told him, looking at my hands.

"Yeah, why?"

I shrugged, then looked towards my window. "I was ashamed of everything. And I had to take care of... you."

"Right. So..."

"I'm really glad you're back and doing good, Asa. I love you," I managed to say.

He grinned, like I'd complimented him too much. "I won't disappoint you, Penelope. I swear." He was so serious suddenly and I knew that he meant it. It had been hard to believe a word he said for a long time, so this was a really nice change.

My phone buzzed as I was falling asleep, and when I looked at it, I could feel my heart aching.

MY DAD FINALLY MOVED OUT, BUT I HAVE TO STAY LIVING WITH MY MOM, BECAUSE OF SCHOOL. MY DAD'S SO ANGRY AT HER AND MY MOM WONT TALK TO ME BECAUSE I WANTED TO LEAVE WITH HIM. AND MY BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS.

OMG, WINSTON. IM SORRY, I replied right away.

BUZZ. I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU TODAY, AND IT GOT SO MESSED UP, he told me.

IT'S OKAY. TOMORROW? AND WE CAN HANG OUT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY IF YOU WANT, I told him.

WHAT TIME DO YOU WORK TOMORROW? he asked.

4-9.

OKAY, SEE YOU AT 9?

YOU OKAY? I asked him, feeling like he he wasn't telling me everything.

IM BETTER NOW, he finished.