Chapter 19

Even with the bedroom door shut, I could still hear the movie that Asa was watching. It was a small house and the walls were thin. My room was so quiet. Winston crossed the room and sat on my bed, but I stayed near the door. The other night, when he showed up at my window, I didn't plan to let him in. I didn't anticipate him sleeping all night in my bed. It had just happened. Now, I'd invited him over but I didn't know what to do.

"So... your brother is cool," he began, and I could tell he was trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, I guess. He was probably just surprised... I've never really had guys over to the house," I said, but regretted the words instantly.

"You haven't?" he asked, eyeing me carefully.

"Just Lex. I mean... he was my only friend for a long time."

Suddenly Winston looked uncomfortable. "Are you going to tell him... about us?"

"I think I have to," I told him. "Don't I?"

"He won't understand. He think I'm like, a terrible person." He shook his head, frustrated.

"Why?"

"I don't know. My school, the guys there... they've been at war with East forever. When I met Camilla, she was dating a guy from your school. Alex and his buddies, they just hate me." Now he looked more hurt than anything else.

"Well, they'll have to suck it up, I guess." I tried to sound confident as I said this.

Winston smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I really liked being with Winston and I'd never felt so comfortable around anyone, besides Lex. He was sweet and I knew he actually liked me. He also didn't care that I lived in Williamsburg, at all. It was so nice to have someone who understood me in a way I really didn't think anyone else did.

We were making out awhile later, when I heard some voices outside my door.

It had started by Winston telling me he thought I was cute when I was serious. I ended up sitting near him on my bed, then he brushed some hair off my face. Within minutes, we were laying down, him most of the way on top of me, his mouth on mine. His hands were in my hair, on my waist, everywhere. He smelled so good and up this close, he was even more beautiful. I could see his freckles on his nose. And oh how I loved kissing him. But it was day time and we were both sober - and stopping this time was much harder for me.

"My mom's home," I said, after hearing the voices in the hallway.

He rolled off of me, but I leaned over to kiss him again.

"We should... go say hi?" he suggested.

"You want to?" I asked him, unsure.

He grinned at me. "Uh, I want to keep doing this." He kissed my cheek gently. "But..."

"I know."

"Can I take you to my house?" he asked suddenly.

Surprised, I sat up a bit, fixing my shirt. "Um."

"I don't mean to continue this... you know I didn't meant that-"

"Yeah." I didn't know what he meant.

"Or we could go somewhere else? Like... a restaurant? I'm starving," he suggested, still leaning over close to me.

"A date?" I asked without thinking first.

"I've been in your bed twice now and I've never taken you on a date," he smiled.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

I smiled again, because it was really sweet that he was asking.

In the kitchen a few minutes later, my mom stood at the counter, her back to us. But she wasn't alone. Asa was no where to be seen. A man who looked older than her was sitting at the table. I felt awkward, leading Winston through the kitchen towards the front door.

"Oh, Penny!" my mom shouted at us, even though we were close. I froze, looking back. "I want you to meet Mitchell."

He was a small man, with dark hair and glasses. He was quiet, but formed a smile in my direction.

"Uh, hi," I said.

"Mitchell, this is my daughter, Penny. And her friend..."

"Where's Asa?" I asked quickly.

My mom looked flustered. "His room, I think."

"Okay, I'm going out for dinner," I told her, turning away again.

"Penny, it's Sunday -"

"I won't be late," I finished, and grabbed Winston's hand before leaving the house.

*

"You okay?" he asked, once we were tucked into a booth at the tiny diner at the edge of Brooklyn.  I looked at him, but couldn't find any words. "You're too quiet."

"Sorry. My mom is... she just makes me crazy. She always does this. A new guy, tells me she's changing, getting better, then it starts all over."

"Maybe it's different this time?" he suggested, after a moment.

"I do hope... for Asa, but..."

We ordered some food and I just didn't feel like talking. I felt bad for leaving Asa at the house and for our first date being tainted by my bad mood. Overall, I felt pretty terrible. But Winston was trying. Hard.

"How's your burger?" he asked, though I hadn't eaten much of it.

I glanced at it, then picked it up and took a bite. "It's good. I'm sorry, really. I'm being so -"

"No, Penelope. It's okay. You have a lot going on. It's not like you need me causing you more drama." He shrugged, then sipped his drink.

He was serious, and when I looked up, he was avoiding eye contact with me.

"This is my first date," I spat out. "Ever."

After almost choking on his drink, he tried to think of a response, "But... you're seventeen."

"Yeah... my life hasn't really been... it hasn't allowed for me to..." I didn't even know how to explain it.

"Penelope.... I get it. I know you told me, but..."

"I just really tried to keep school and my home life separate. I got asked out, I mean... but I just couldn't. Asa was..." I couldn't finish sentences. I was embarrassed.

Winston reached across the table and touched my hands. Our eyes met and I knew I didn't have to keep explaining anything.

"I feel kind of stupid... like this should be special for you, and it's just a diner," he told me.

"I don't need super special. I just need... to be here with you," I smiled, then ate a few fries.

He gave me this look, and I wasn't quite sure what it meant. He was usually fairly open with his feelings, and suddenly it felt like he wanted to keep what this was from me. Though it didn't feel like something bad. I had a feeling he was trying not to say something he wasn't completely sure I was ready to hear.

It was almost 8 P.M. when we were finished eating, and finally went out to the parking lot and to his car, a bit after. I felt completely comfortable, somehow, yet there was still a part of me that felt like all of this wasn't something I deserved.

"I do want to take you to my house sometime. I want you to come and be in my world, like I've been in yours," he said, starting the car.

"I wish we didn't have different worlds," I told him quickly, clicking the seat belt in.

"That's not what I meant," Winston said, then glanced at me.

"I know. But it's true. We do." I looked away.

"Well, it's doesn't matter. In Manhattan or in Brooklyn, I feel the same about you," he answered, and I could see his goofy smile on his face out of the corner of my eye.

My heart skipped a few beats and I realized how much I liked him. I mean, I knew I liked him. I had for a while. But this actually scared me, how I felt in that moment.

Outside my house, he shut off the car and looked at me again. It felt like his eyes were burning into me. I swallowed hard, pulling at the bottom of my coat.

"Can I see you at the library this week?" he finally asked.

"Yeah... Tuesday, Friday..."

"Okay. And maybe I can pick you up from school another day, so we can hang out?" he suggested.

I cleared my throat, then finally looked over at him. "I have to see how Asa is this week. It's his first week back, at East..."

"Oh, right. Yeah."

"Okay..."

"Hey... will you come to my school's Winter Dance with me?" he spat out, like he'd been waiting to ask me all night.

"Um, really?" I was shocked. Like, legit wasn't sure if he was serious.

"It's next Friday. At the school, and then there's an after party. I wasn't going to go, but my mom said it looks bad on her if I don't attend..."

"Um," I said again. "I think East's winter dance is the same night."

"Oh, yeah, of course." I could tell he was disappointed.

"Well, I wasn't going to go to it," I added, then smiled at him.

"To yours?"

I shook my head.

"So, do you want to come with me to mine?"

Panic swept over me. "I don't have anything to wear."

"That was a really girly thing to say," he laughed. "I'll take you to get a dress."

"That's way too Pretty Woman for me," I told him, straight faced.

He snorted, tossing his head back. "I wasn't calling you a prostitute."

I rolled my eyes. "I can get something to wear."

"Yeah? So, yes? You want to go?" he asked excitedly.

"Okay... I'll have to book off work, and -"

"You're so cute when you're nervous," he interrupted.

"Stop."

Winston grinned, then leaned in to kiss me. He lips were so soft on mine. He tasted like the mint he had popped into his mouth after our meal. He shut his eyes while kissing me, but I opened mine just before he pulled back again.

"Penelope?"

"Yeah?" My eyes were closed.

"I'm not as bad as you're going to hear I am. Okay?" he asked.

"Um, okay."

"I actually really like you, way more than just... friends. And all the shit that Alex and your friends will say about me... just don't let that mess this up, okay?" he begged.

"Well, you'll have to be honest with me," I told him, leaning back into my seat.

"I will be."

"If I ask you how many girls you've been with..."

He hesitated. "Are you asking that now?"

I let out a laugh. "No."

"You already know more about my family than most people do," he smiled.

"Right."

"I have this reputation for whatever reason, but I'm not a bad guy," he finished.

"I wouldn't be here right now if I thought you were," I promised.