so this chapter was 2500 words and i needed to split it...

also: i hated breaking up sope, BUT they'd have to be broken up to have our dramatic reunion at the wedding

i'm curious: who's "fault" was the breakup, in your opinion?

🐱 Yoongi?

🌻 Hoseok?

🙄 or they're both being dumb?

also, warning: this may hurt

August 15, 2016 - 1:27pm

[ i'm so sorry hobiiiiiiii, i can make it better!!!!!]

Hoseok waited in terribly uncomfortable chairs at the airport, listening for the boarding announcement for his flight. The girls flew out a day earlier, the eldest member, An-Hye, was fluent in English and could help the others enjoy some sight-seeing in Los Angeles before Hoseok arrived and became the cheerful slave-driver that he was.

He scrolled through his phone absentmindedly, periodically coming across something associated with Yoongi. A picture, an ad for their favorite diner.

The night he'd found his box of belongings unceremoniously returned on his doorstep, Hoseok flipped repeatedly between extreme sadness and fuming anger.

He went straight to Yoongi's apartment, trying to calm himself down in the car but it was useless.

Were they so easy to stop believing in that Yoongi could just... pack him up in a box as if he were... separate? Disposable? And not woven into the very fabric of his being like Yoongi had become to him?

Yoongi refused to see him that night and for the coming weeks, and though Hoseok knew his boyfriend - his ex-boyfriend - wasn't avoiding him out of malice, he couldn't help but become more hurt and angry.

As a last-ditch effort to get some closure, Hoseok invited Yoongi to grab dinner the night before his flight. The older agreed and Hoseok was filled with the hope that they could at least part as friends.

But Hoseok found himself sitting in their favorite diner, well past the time they'd agreed to meet - which he tried not to read too much into in the moment, because Yoongi was late to everything - when he received a text.

YOONGI:

I'm so sorry

I won't be able to make it

Something came up

Hoseok placed his phone face-down on the table so the words wouldn't mockingly burn into his retinas.

Maybe it was better this way. This was why they'd stayed broken up after Yoongi's impulsive note, why they didn't work, wasn't it? Because Yoongi could never prioritize him?

HOSEOK:

That's bullshit|

That's b|

|

He tried to take a few breaths, tried to calm himself. But the silence rang in his ears and his frustration came to a boil beneath his skin.

HOSEOK:

I wanted to see you before I leave tomorrow

But don't bother

I'm tired of waiting

I'm tired of the excuses

If you're done, I'm done

{ YOONGI -blocked- }

Hoseok finished drinking his glass of water, paid the check (although he'd only eaten a small portion of an appetizer), put on his jacket and walked to his car. He could feel the tears stinging his eyelids before his phone vibrated in his pocket.

NAMJOON:

Hoseok

It's my fault he didn't show up

When is your flight?

He'll come see you off

So Hoseok was here, waiting in an airport terminal, scanning the passersby while trying not to get his hopes up. Why was he always waiting for Yoongi?

Yoongi saw him first.

Hoseok looked... tired. It was tempting to blame it on the stress that comes with uprooting your life to travel abroad, but Yoongi knew it wasn't that.

[ i can hear ALL OF YOU telling me to just stoppppppp with the sad sope pics. i want to. but i'm also dramatic, so i'm CONFLICTED.]

He almost didn't want to call out to him, to make his presence known. He'd almost rather stay hidden than go speak with his boyfriend - his ex-boyfriend.

But as if reading his thoughts, Hoseok's head turned and their eyes crossed paths from across the expanse of the terminal.

A weak half-smile came to Hoseok's lips and Yoongi took it as an invitation.

He crossed the terminal, and Hoseok stood once he'd reached his row of seats.

Out of habit, Yoongi wrapped his arms around the younger, without stopping to think if he should.

'Please hug back,' he thought and was relieved when - after a slight hesitation, granted - Hoseok returned the embrace and he was enveloped in the familiar scent of the younger man's cologne. Yoongi breathed deeply, realizing that this was probably the last time.

Hoseok stepped back and Yoongi's mind was protesting though, outwardly, he knew he had no right.

They just looked at each other, with so much to say but not wanting to say it here. So many emotions to continue to censor.

Finally, Hoseok cleared his throat:

"I'm a little surprised you're here, you know? After we were supposed to have dinner--"

"I know. I'm sorry, but Joon broke his wrist yesterday and we took him to the hospital..."

" 'We'?"

"This boy that came to work on a track. We just met him and Joonie's already endangering himself for him."

"Oh. Will Namjoon be okay?"

"He's fine, minus the broken wrist."

Hoseok laughed softly and shook his head as he imagined Yoongi's roommate being that enamored with someone to risk his own safety. Meanwhile, Yoongi couldn't risk comfort and routine for Hoseok, "Sounds like Namjoon."

"Yeah...."

Yoongi tore his eyes from Hoseok when he heard the boarding announcement for LA. They didn't have much time.

"Yoongi.."     "Hoseok.."

Hoseok's mouth snapped shut as he pulled his luggage closer to him by the handle. Was he steadying it or was it steadying him?

He nodded to the shorter boy, "No, you go ahead."

"I'm... I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a coward. But I - I can't leave. I can't. And... I'm not even sure if that offer is still on the table after what I've done, but you were right about long-distance, you know? I don't - I don't think we'd make it. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted... I don't know... I wanted--"

"To rip off the bandaid? Break up on your own terms now instead of later?," Hoseok watched the older boy nod, "I understand. I'm not happy with it, but I understand. I just wish you could understand that... everything was always on your terms, Yoongi. You came to conclusions, made decisions all on your own and then I'm left to just pick up the pieces. I admit I signed without talking to you because I felt like it was my turn to make some sort of call in our relationship. I thought you could take a leap with me. But as always, I was wrong."

Yoongi knew, because Hoseok could often be as blunt as he was, that the words were not meant to hurt him. Hoseok was just being honest. It was one of the reasons Yoongi loved him. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

They stood in silence for a few painful moments before Hoseok spoke up again.

"I think... I think maybe we aren't ready for each other, you know? Your music is so important to you, there just isn't room for me in your life. Not now. This past year together was... was maybe a preview to what we could have. Maybe when we're actually ready, we'll find each other again."

Yoongi nodded vacantly. He had no idea if Hoseok was right, but he always loved his hopeless romantic side.

"Promise."

"- What?"

Hoseok could feel himself entering a mild panic as the people around him started heading to the gate, "Promise me that if - after everything else in our lives is in place-  if we find each other again we can try. I'm not asking you to wait for me... just... if we--"

Yoongi watched the younger boy's eyes becoming rounder, pleading. If he wanted Yoongi to take a leap - "I promise."

A heart-shaped smile flashed on tired features just as the second call came on the loudspeakers announcing the LA flight boarding.

The smile vanished. Hoseok picked up what he'd packed up from his life to take with him. It wasn't much, but he also carried something unseen -  and much heavier. Yoongi wished he could help him carry it.

 The older boy held his breath as he walked Hoseok to the gate.

"So this is it?," Yoongi could feel his heart begin to race. This couldn't be it.

Hoseok's hand on his luggage tightened, the hard corrugated plastic leaving deep grooves imprinted in his palm, his knuckles turning white from his grip. His feet were cemented to the floor, his body protesting the thought of leaving Yoongi's side.

He shook his head. This couldn't be it.

His grip failed and his luggage tipped over, taking his jacket with it. He let it fall and grabbed Yoongi by the coat pulling him into a kiss. He felt Yoongi melt into him and couldn't differentiate whose tears were whose.

The last boarding call came and Hoseok pulled back, resting his forehead against Yoongi's.

"I love you, Yoongi," he whispered. 

Yoongi sobbed in reply, "I love you, too, Hoseok." 

Hoseok stepped backward, cleared his throat and ducked down to retrieve his belongings.

"This was never how it was supposed to end," Yoongi found himself saying softly, unintentionally, as if he were a man possessed. His eyes snapped to Hoseok's, wondering if he'd even heard.

Hoseok leaned forward after gathering his things and kissed Yoongi's cheek. 

"It wasn't supposed to end."

[a/n: 😭😭😭]

Yoongi didn't know how long he'd just stood there, staring at the place where Hoseok had disappeared, but when he finally left the airport, afternoon had fallen into evening. 

It was fitting, Yoongi mused under the starless sky, that he was now surrounded by darkness. His only source of light on its way to Los Angeles.

🖤

[a/n]

i wish i could create a poll here somehow.

i obviously live and breathe sope, so they'll get together

BUT how do you think it'll go down?

🤬 anger/arguing

🥃 alcohol involved

😭 tears

😫 awkwardness and misunderstandings (one or both of them will be dumb and avoid talking about it)

and/or,

straight up 🚨 🚨 🚨 (those who read my first book know what i associate this with... lmao)

i guess drop an emoji to make your predictions>>

💜