41 - You're My...
Ahreum.
"Black; Death, Elusiveness and farewell." she spoke with confidence, "It is a representation of death or the ending of a feeling, idea or relationship."
Her words had struck some sort of pain in my chest.
'Why would he do this just to end it all?' That was a thought that raced through my mind. 'Was this his farewell?'
"'Death'? 'The ending'?" I echoed, taking small paces towards her, "I don't understand."
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry, Y/n." She whispered, catching me a bit off guard, "all of this happened because of my jealousy."
"I still don't get it."
She took a deep breath in before explaining further. I could see the tension in her posture as she spoke.
"I was mean to you ever since the beginning," she bellowed, "I shouted, sabotaged, intimidated-"
"Bullied. The word is bullied," I said softly, but not with any animosity. She let out a breathy chuckle and heeded my words.
"I bullied you," She echoed. "I can't apologise enough."
I simply hummed in response as Jimin interrupted the silence that had grown.
"While a black rose does mean death, it also acts as a symbol of rebirth," a new voice had spoken, "It's a sign of new beginnings."
"Jungkook-"
"Right," Ahreum had agreed, interjecting any thoughts I had, "Y/n, I know that I've never really done anything right with you, but—only if you're okay with it—we can put that behind us and become friends."
I noticed a glint of hope lodged in her eyes. It was hard to miss. She was genuine. Even after all of the pain she had caused, I could see that she tried to atone for her sins.
"Ahreum, you hurt me. Not just that, you hurt so many people," I spoke out bluntly, not feeling any scum, "you were selfish, manipulative, cruel-"
"A bully." She whispered with a breathy scoff.
"You were a bully," I repeated with a deep sigh. "Given my feelings now, I can't accept your friendship request."
She looked down, nodding her head at my words in disappointment.
"I understand," she whispered.
"So, instead of jumping headfirst into that," I chimed, "why don't we start with not hating each other."
At my words, her head had shot up. Her expression was unreadable. After her brain had a processed my words, a small grin had tugged at her lips.
"You're a good person, Y/n," she cooed, tilting her head slightly to the side, "I can see why he chose you."
After exchanging smiles with each other, Jungkook had stepped behind both Ahreum and Jimin.
"New beginnings?" He asked.
I knew exactly what he meant. Putting the past behind us and starting afresh.
"Yes, Jungkook. New beginnings."
Jungkook had gestured me in the direction I was meant to follow, allowing me to go by my lonesome. Throughout the way, I had been expecting to see more roses which had distracted me, until I was tugged out of it by a new thought.
"What does a bouquet of 8 roses mean?" I mumbled to myself, stepping through the arch of a greenhouse.
A voice on the inside of the conservatory had spoken up.
"Support."
I heard him deeper inside the glasshouse. I couldn't see him, but I would have known that voice anywhere. Turning around, I noticed that Jimin had left without so much as a trace. I'm
"Taehyung?" I asked, stepping further in and gazing around to spot him.
"8 roses mean that I will support you," he spoke out, allowing me to navigate my way to him through his voice, "I will support you no matter what you decide."
Finally, I had narrowed down where he was. The man stepped out from behind a white pillar. He held a single red rose in his hand, surrounded by the garden around him which enhanced the beauty of this moment.
"And a bouquet of 9 signifies eternal love," he crooned, cruising towards me with his gaze spellbound on mine.
I was speechless. I had no clue how to react. I just stood there blank while my brain processed what was happening.
"When I first spoke to you, I knew there was something special about you," he bellowed happily, pacing closer to me. "It wasn't hard for me to realise that I loved you. I still love you, with all my heart."
Finally, the rose was placed in my free hand, allowing me to add it to my bouquet which had seemed more like a rainbow at this point.
"What is the red rose for?" I asked, gripping it in with the other eight.
"Red roses are a symbol of romance and love. It's the most classic way of showcasing love."
He reached forward to encase my free hand with both of his. My heart raced due to the sudden contact, but it was calming in a way. I on the other hand had hesitated ever so slightly.
At the feeling of his skin making contact with mine, I felt my hand shudder. I knew that he had felt it too. I wasn't sure about whether I should pull away or just stay put. His grip, however gentle as it was, clasped my hand tighter, not allowing me to move even if I wanted to.
"That sure was some show you're putting on," I chimed, not daring to look him in the eye, "the roses, I mean."
"Did you like them?" he asked as the sound of his deep voice rang through my ears and filled me with a familiar sensation.
"You could say that," I spoke out hesitantly, "I didn't dislike them."
A smile grew on his face, in turn, calming me down. My head had tilted a bit to the side. I began to feel slightly awkward while staring at the same spot on the floor as though it were going to change.
"Whenever I tried to decide on a specific Rose, I kept going around in circles," he cooed. "No one meaning was ever good enough."
I couldn't even understand why, but, at that moment, there was a glistening outline on my bottom eyelids. Tears began to brim in my eyes as I remembered the pain I felt, trying to let him go but also the pain I felt while trying to pretend like everything was okay back then.
The tears in my eyes were beginning to drip down my cheeks. His words went straight to my heart. I couldn't control my emotions anymore.
"Taehyung, it hurt," I cried out, losing all control of my words and emotions. "It hurt so much when you chose other people before me. It hurt when you dropped everything when they needed you but you couldn't see that I needed you too."
At my words, he had let loose. tears began streaming down his face while his grip on my hand grew tighter and needier.
"I know, I was blind and foolish. I'm so sorry." He sobbed, hiccupping through his words.
"It was so hard for me, Taehyung," I whispered as my voice shivered with every word, "each day that passed, I felt more and more afraid that I was never good enough for you."
"That's not true-"
"It didn't matter whether it was true or not," I interjected him, pulling my hand out of his grip and grabbing hold of the bouquet with both of my hands, "I was insecure. When I think back, I remember how you always made time for me. I never spoke up, so how did I expect you to know that it was breaking me. I'm angry with myself."
"I should have known. I should have noticed it," he crooned, "I should have seen it in the way you walked or in your voice when you spoke. I should have seen it in those eyes that I fell in love with."
His words reminded me of why I loved him in the first place. How he spoke genuinely and never left out any details. He spoke without ever holding back and would never tell a lie.
"You're more than the girl I love with all my heart. You're also the purest soul I know," he spoke out as our eyes met and never left each other, "I have a true friend in you. You always give me peace of mind, but sometimes give me a sense of desire. You're so unique and I'm always thankful to you. You start and end my days. You're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before bed."
I recognised the words he used from the notes on the roses. That's when it all made sense. each rose had a different meaning, and those were what I am to him.
Ever so gently, he raised his hands to my face, placing them on either side of my cheeks and used his thumbs to dry my continuous tears.
"You're my everything."
Within seconds, all nine roses that had resided in my hands were then laying on the floor. I dropped them. My arms had gripped onto his shirt as my head laid heavily against his shirt. His hands gently moved to my back.
With each sob that I let out, my chest heaved up and down. My hands gripped tighter and tighter as the familiar feeling of warmth began to fill my senses. It felt right.
After a few seconds, Taehyung had completely encaged me in his arms. He wrapped them around me, holding me tightly as though he were scared I would run away.
I heard soft sniffles coming from him as he tightened his grip and placed his head on mine. A beautiful feeling of security had washed over me.
"I'm so sorry," he cried, never letting go of me, "I was dumb and naive and I took you for granted."
I shook my head that was buried in his shirt, trying to deny his comment.
"I should have spoken out earlier too." I sobbed to him.
For the first time, he pulled us apart to stare into my eyes. His were already red and soaked in salty residue while he tried to stop his tears.
"I never want to lose you. Never again," he hummed to me while placing his hand on the side of my face, not to wipe my tears, but to pull me closer.
He leaned down, whispering in my ear the sweetest words that I could ever hear.
"I love you so much, Y/n. I'll love you forever."
With that, he lifted my head slightly he leaned closer in. Both of our eyes closed as we simply fell into each other's trust.
His lips placed gently on mine. Neither of our lips moved or clasped each other's, but rather it was a long passionate kiss. One filled with forgiveness and new beginnings.
Filled with hope, love, admiration.
Filled with pain and loss.
Filled with new beginnings.
"I love you too, Kim Taehyung."
[End]
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