["Love must not entreat," she added, "or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract. Sinclair, your love is attracted to me. Once it begins to attract me, I will come. I will not make a gift of myself, I must be won"]

A wonderful phrase to hear after a break-up. A quote from chapter seven of the book Demian by Hermann Hesse. I've read this book numerous times. For some reason, this line has always stood out to me. It was drowned with meaningfulness even though I never understood what it meant. That was until now.

"I will not make a gift of myself. I must be won."

I finally understand it. I understand what I've been too blind to see my whole life.

I never doubted Taehyung's love for me. Not one bit have I ever. I loved him unconditionally, despite anything that he did—or rather, didn't do. I realised that it wasn't just me who's vision was clouded by love, but him who was blind to our crumbling romance.

Even now, I was still shaken. Not just by the events of the party or the end of my first romance, but the text. I kept staring at the message with a blank mind. I didn't want to start feeling anything because I knew that if I did, I'd start to cry again. It's been years since she's wished me for my birthday. I was beginning to think that she would have forgotten my birthday as a whole for the past few years.

If I'm being honest, I'm glad that I finally spoke up. It's better to accept the pain of the truth than to live in the cold comfort of a lie. Taehyung and I are no more. After we were both shattered from last night, it's obvious that we need a little more than just some time apart.

It's already been a week since we've broken up. I haven't even spoken to him since that day. It was obvious that I didn't belong here anymore. I'm officially 18 now so Mrs Kim is under no obligation to take care of me. She still did. Every night she would still call me down for dinner. She always greeted me in the morning and asked me how I slept.

Suddenly, putting an end to my thoughts was the lady that I had been thinking off.

"Y/n, Honey? Are you busy?" She asked as she poked her head around my bedroom door.

"Please, come in," I said to her with a smile.

"So, guess who I saw today," She spoke in a whisper as though someone was listening to her gossiping. I tiled my head to the side and raised my eyebrows curiously at her, "Remember that man from the wedding?"

She's been doing this too. Checking in just to chat. She's been trying to make conversation with me a lot more these days.

"Mrs Kim," I laughed, "Even the groom was male, you might need to be a bit more specific."

"The best man," She specified with a giggle when she realised that, "Jackson?" I nodded at her with my face being enlightened from remembering. "I saw his mother today. Such a wonderful lady."

"So what did she say?" I asked, trying to prompt the conversation.

"Well, apparently Jackson is moving back in with them." She trailed on while trying to recall what else had happened in that conversation with her, but before she could continue, I interrupted her.

"Mrs Kim, About that," I cooed, catching her attention, "I am extremely grateful to you but I've burdened you enough."

"Sweetheart? What are you talking about?" She questioned as she put the back of her palm on my forehead, "Are you not feeling well or something?"

"It's just... You aren't obligated to take care of me and..."

"Sweetheart. Stop babbling nonsense," she chimed without letting me finish my sentence, "Does my signature on that paper mean nothing? I'm your guardian, Honey."

"But I'm 18 now, So..."

"Does being older mean that you aren't anybody's child anymore?" She asked profoundly to which I was shocked by. "You'll always be like a daughter to me, Y/n."

She had engulfed me in a warm hug filled with love and care. This action caused a storm cloud to shake in my heart and shadow in my eyes that were now brimming with tears. This was what it felt like to have a mother. One that supported you for all of your flaws and tears.

"Thank you, 'mom'," I chimed at her, causing her to giggle slightly in the hug. Slowly, she broke the hug and looked me straight in the eye.

"Sweety, can I ask you something?" She spoke as I nodded my head to her question, "Do you still love him?"

When she had asked me this, there was a noticeable silence in the room, followed by a string of hesitation. I felt as the air around me became lighter and lighter.

"Yes. The truth is, I still love him," I spoke out after the lengthy silence, "But, It's because I love him that I was able to learn from him. It's thanks to him that I've learned to love myself."

She gave me an acceptance smile and gently patted me on the head. Everything that I had spoken was true. Thanks to him, I love myself.

Later, after she had left, I decided to organise my life and finally get rid of everything the reminded me of Taehyung. Getting out the shoebox from my wardrobe, I placed it on the ground in front of me. I was about to kick it to the door but just before my foot could make contact with the box, the memories of what was inside crossed my mind, causing my foot to simply hover in the air.

With slight hesitation, I slowly lifted the lid of the box, unsealing it and allowing for the memories to come flooding out like the demons that were sealed away in Pandora's box.

The first item that I had pulled out was a receipt. a Starbucks receipt for one caramel macchiato and one cocoa. That was from the first time that we had spent time together. I distinctly remember how heavily it rained but also how disappointed I was when the rain finally let up.

The next thing that I had pulled out of the box was an empty bottle. It's what was left of the tissue oil that he had given me to get rid of my scars. It's thanks to him that they've faded to the extent that they did. It's also thanks to him that I stopped all of that.

After that, I stuck my hand back into the box and pulled out another piece of paper. It was a bit thick, however. When I had taken a closer look, I realised that it was the plane ticket from the flight that we took. That was my first time flying and he calmed me down so much. The storm that day was hectic as well.

There were only two more Items in the box now. One of them, being a silver ribbon. The silver ribbon that he used to tie up my hair at the wedding. That was the day that he took me on a hot air balloon.

finally, the last object. A transparent plastic candy wrapper. An item that I had put into the box less than two weeks ago. This was from the day that Mr Kim, our home economics teacher, asked us to make chocolates for someone special.

I can still remember the beautiful chaos that he had created. How he tried to write 'I love you' on the chocolate but fell a bit short—much like this relationship. No matter what I said to him the other night, I still love him. That's why I'm trying hard to move on. The first step is to get rid of the things that remind me of him.

With finally attempting to place everything back in the box, I closed the lid and trapped whatever I could. After opening it, I knew that there was no way of me forgetting now. Much like Pandora and her box of mysteries–Once she had opened the box, the sprites which had left, never returned.

I slowly walked to the door with the box in my hands and reminisced once more as I slowly placed it on the ground. After heaving a heavy sigh, I made my way back to my bed

Aside from the box, there are the pictures that we had taken together. The beautiful photos and selcas that recorded our journey as well.

Going back to the start of it was the first picture that we had ever taken. A picture that we had taken on Snapchat after working in the school library. Well, to be fair, he was asleep the whole time and that's what brought about the picture in the first place.

His arms were draped over me from behind and his head was rested on my shoulder. His lips were near the crook of my neck as he smirked at my blushing face. I still remember the warm feeling that I got inside when I felt the sensation on my back against him. I remember how safe I felt with his weight being supported by me.

Just as I was about to delete the photo, a notification popped up at the top of my screen. A text from Jungkook. Here is another person that hasn't changed since the break-up. He has never stopped being a brother to me. I was trying to read the message that he sent but it was too long and not everything appeared in the notification itself. I was about to tap on it, but it disappeared before I could.

As a result, I had opened my messenger app. Just as I was about to open Jungkook's message, Another one had caught my eye. One that I had already opened and read but had never left my mind.

The birthday wish from my mother.

Even though she had sent it almost a week ago, I never replied to it. I still was unsure of how I should feel about it. I know that she has hurt me a lot in the past, but at the end of the day, she is still my mother. I am still her child.

The thought of the message kept lingering in my mind. Until, finally...

Jungkook

[JK? I need a favour>

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