"Oh sweetie, if you don't have sex with him soon, he'll leave you." She said with a seemingly forced smile on her face. It's almost as if she's trying to help me but I wonder.

"T-Tae isn't like that..." I spoke out trying to sound confident of my words but in the back of my head, I had this faint sense of doubt. Ahreum shook her head in a disappointed manner.

"Male psychology. He'll get bored if you don't sleep with him soon and drop you for something fresh." She spoke and walked away, flicking her hair back like she was annoyed by my ignorance.

When she was back at her desk, I saw Tae and Jimin walk back into the classroom. This is sending a frenzy of thoughts through my head. Is he really doing this for sex? I know I must come across as vulnerable but he seems genuine. I don't want to lose him. I want to stay by his side.

"Everything okay?" He asked while I was spacing out. I nodded hastily and took my seat without sharing so much as a glance with him. I'm really nervous now. Throughout the entire class, I've been shaking my leg like crazy and the worst is that he probably noticed from behind me. Every time I tried to calm down, the thought of Tae seeing me naked crosses my mind again.

What if I repulse him as I do myself? Then again, what if he leaves me because I didn't take that initiative? I don't know what to do. I can't even begin to imagine what he would think about my body. I also can't fathom losing another person completely. Without mom, I'd be sent to a foster home or some governmental care facility.

My thoughts were brought to a halt by someone tapping on my shoulder. It was Tae, signalling for me to look forward. When I did, I saw Mr. Min standing in front with his eyes glaring at mine. Yeesh. It looks could kill.

"The project," Tae whispered from behind me. "You have it." When I looked forward, I saw him standing with a stack of papers in his arm and the whole class was looking at me. With haste, I reached into my bag and scrambled my hand around while trying to get out the right papers. I quickly handed the papers to Tae behind me for him to take it since I was too socially anxious at this point.

When he walked back, all he did was direct a nod to me to signify that everything was good with that. We never said anything to each other for the rest of the class since we were too afraid of Mr. Min. He sat at his desk going through our tasks, making sure that they were up-to-standard while we all sat there in silence, copying the notes on the board and counting the seconds as they dragged by.

Finally, after a hellishly long period, the bell had rung and we were finally free to go for lunch. I walked ahead and began making my way out when suddenly I was called back by Mr. Min. I glanced back at Tae who was looking at us from his stance near the door and he sent a nod in my direction and smiled. When I turned back to Mr. Min, he was standing behind his desk with a grin on his face.

"I see you've made progress, dating?" He chuckled and I began blushing. Without uttering a word, I vigorously nodded my head to avoid eye contact. "Haha, don't be shy. I just wanted to ask if everything's okay?"

"E-Everything's fine. Why do you ask?" I was curious. Did he hear about my mom? Or maybe it had something to do with Tae.

"You were just spacing out a lot today. It isn't like you. I'm just concerned is all." He said while patting my head. I'm starting to get more comfortable with this, with people I mean.

"Oh, there's just a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk to Yoongi?" He removed his hand from my head and bent his head forward to make eye contact with me.

"It's just... I'm unsure. I don't want to lose more people from my life." I said with the thought of my conversation with Ah Reum running through my mind.

"Unsure huh. With uncertainty, I've found that the best way is to tackle the problem head-on." He said. "Trust your heart y/n."

I gave him a hesitant nod and once again, avoided eye contact. While walking towards the door, I pronounced a thank you under my breath directed to him and he hummed as his response.

Making my way to the cafeteria, I never thought I'd live to see the day but there were no remarks of any sort. No flirtatious whistles, no comments, no touching, not even a stare. I was even able to get my lunch in peace. Nobody kicked me out of the line or tried anything funny. It's nice to feel unseen at times.

When I had finally got my lunch, I walked over to the table where Tae was seated. Unfortunately, I could also feel my temperature rise ever so slightly. Every time I see him I think of my conversation with Ah Reum. I'm not sure whether I'd be able to sleep with him. Just the thought of being undressed in front of him makes me scared.

"Hey, Jagi." He said. His cute nickname made me blush even more and his friends all giggled at it. When I looked around the table, I noticed that Jimin wasn't there. I sat down in front of Jungkook who gave me a cute bunny smile when I looked at him.

"Where's Jimin?" I asked while chewing on a fry.

"He's over there." Hobi said while directing his eyes towards Jimin. "Having lunch with Ah Reum for some reason."

Maybe Ah Reum is just trying to get Tae's attention by this. Honestly, I wouldn't put it past her but they weren't standing out. I could be wrong but Jimin seems like he wants to be there. She also gave me her advice this morning. Every time I think of that advice that she gave to me, I freeze up a bit. Even now, as Tae tried to make conversation with me, I couldn't speak to him without almost choking on my words.

The whole day had gone by and I barely spoke to Tae. I feel like I'm being weird with him now. He'd leave me for my awkwardness before he gets bored of me for not sleeping with him at this rate. I can't keep acting like this. I'm still a virgin despite everything that's happened. I need to sleep with him. It's okay if it's for the right reasons, right?

Even on the way home as we walked side by side with our hands intertwined, I couldn't help but feel nervous. He lives with his mom. How was I supposed to have sex with him without her knowing? Is that even okay? I don't have her consent. It should be fine if I try to do it before she comes home. Then there's Yeontan. He's a dog, sure, but wouldn't the pheromones trigger him or something.

"I usually walk home with Jimin." Tae spoke out and put an end to my thoughts. When he did so, I was a bit confused as to why he said something as random as that.

"Was I in your way?" I asked.

"It's not that. He's been distant today. I never knew that he was so close to Ahreum." He looked up at the sky as though he were thinking hard. The sight of it made me chuckle a bit.

"You two are close, huh," I said as he looked at me and nodded with a smile.

"We've been friends ever since we were little. We always look out for each other. It was through Jimin that we became friends with the Hyungs." His words made me smile. "That's part of the reason why it's strange for him to leave without telling me."

I feel bad. Tae looks genuinely upset about this. I knew they were close but not to this extent. During our walk home, he had this look of concern on his face the whole time. Even when we approach the house, he smiled at me but it was seemingly forced. Is he getting bored of me already? The thought of this makes me sad. I know what I have to do, but I just don't know how to do it. I've never even thought about taking that initiative before.

We walked in and he placed his belongings on the counter like he always does. Something about the forced lust in my head made me scrutinise each of his movements. The way his fingers dragged on the table as he walked away from it, how his nose crinkled when he sniffed, even how his hair fell perfectly on his forehead. His mom comes home in about 3 hours. That's how much time I have. He's already started acting a bit different, so have I. I don't want him to leave me for my weirdness.

"Do you wanna take a shower first?" He asked.

Shower. Maybe I should ask him to shower together. Is that too forced? That's how they do it in the movies. Would he even agree to it though? I mean, my body is pretty disgusting. Maybe that's why he tried to clean up my scars. I can't miss this opportunity though.

"D-Do you... Uhm.... want... do you want to... uhhh..." I'm a failure at everything.

"Hmm? Do I want to?" His anticipation for me to finish my question got me feeling a bit on edge.

"D-Do you want to go first?" I yelled out almost impulsively as I mentally facepalmed myself. He chuckled at my question and shook his head playfully. "A-ah. I'll go ahead, then." I said to him and diverted my eyes from his. I walked up the stairs in a hastened manner, still avoiding eye contact on my way up.

Even whilst in the shower, I couldn't help but think about whether I'd just repulse him. As the water trickled down my body, I traced each scar on my waist and arms. They started lightening up a bit but the way they are now, I'm not sure if it would be very stimulating. What if he breaks up with me because of my repugnant body.

I'm not sure what to do now. Yoongi told me to follow my heart, but I'm not even sure what direction that wants to go in. I'm scared. I'm so scared that if I don't do this, he'll leave, but I'm also scared that if I do, he'd be revolted and leave. I don't know what to do anymore. Ahreum did say that it's male psychology though. Maybe it's best to just get it over and done with.

When I finished in the shower, I stepped out with nothing but a towel to cover my body. I made my way towards Tae's room, only to see him standing by his window looking out. I'm afraid right now, but if it's to keep Tae, I'll do it.

"T-Tae...". I called out and he turned to look back at me.

"Y/n?" He asked in a worried tone as he walked towards me. He put his hand on my shoulders and wore a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong? Come sit down."

He as about to turn back around to his wardrobe but I grabbed on his hand and yanked it, causing him to fall to the ground just below me. This is my chance. I've never done this before and I might be terrible at it but it's worth a try.

I moved down to the floor to set myself above him. My towel had already began to slide off me when I moved off of the bed so hovering over him was my naked body. I leaned forward and placed my lips near his neck to kiss is, so close that he could probably feel my breath against his skin. My breasts were now resting on his clothed chest since I had been leaning forward.

"Y/n!" He called out loudly with more worry in his voice.

I managed to muster up the courage and placed my lips on his neck. That's all it was. Just a peck because, at that moment, he pushed me off and sat up for us to look at each other.

"Y/N! What are you doing!?" He asked viciously. "You're shaking."

I hadn't even noticed that I had been trembling this entire time. It want from the cold, it was from the fear that coursed through my veins.

Without so much as glancing at my naked self or waiting for my response, he stood up and got walked towards the door. "Use some clothes from my wardrobe, I'll wait outside."

" This is it, right? He's upset. My body disgusted him. Everything about me just screams 'problematic'." I thought. I couldn't help but think of the worst in this situation.

I had worn a hoodie and a pair of sweat pants from his wardrobe and hesitantly opened the door which he was standing behind.

"What was that?" He asked calmly.

With all of the emotions welling up inside of me, I couldn't help but burst into tears right there in front of him. In between my sobs, I was apologising to him but it was barely audible due to my cries.

He wrapped his arms around me and placed my head on his warm chest, patting my back as I continued to cry. When I finally calmed down a bit, he decided to ask once more.

"What got into you?" He asked again

"I- I'm sorry...." I hesitated, thinking about Ahreum's words, "You're a guy.... and... I thought... you'd leave if..."

I wasn't able to finish my sentence since he had cupped my face and brought my eyes up to gaze into his.

"My little one, I don't want to force you to do anything. I'll wait until you're ready, even if it takes 10 000 hours." He crooned asI felt tears start to well up again, "Because I love you, and I would never leave you over that."

Before I could even think about shedding another tear, he clasped me in his arms and carried me to his bed, where we just laid there until nightfall when his mom came home.

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The next day
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I could have gotten used to this. Tae and I were walking hand in hand again on our way to school. After our heartfelt moment last night, I feel closer to him. I'm going to start treasuring moments like this. Where we can just walk normally as normal people do. Once again, there were no remarks from people as we walked in.

"Wondering why people are so quiet?" He asked as though he read my mind. "It's because you don't seem vulnerable anymore. They only bully a person to break them down more." I nodded in his direction as a sign that I understood whilst we walked to class, still having our fingers interlaced. What I was not aware of, was the storm that we were unknowingly approaching. As we walked into the class, there was a girl who's eyes lit up when she saw Tae. His were also opened widely.

"Tae!!" She called out happily while waving her hand up in the air.

"Irene!?"

A/n. Fun fact. Fornication means sexual intercourse between two people. The word "Fuck" actually comes from Elizabethan times. Men had to ask the king whether they could sleep with their wives. Thus:

Fornication

Under the

Consent of the

King.

You're welcome : )

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