{Trigger warning | Mature content}

"It's fine. Everything's fine, but I have to go now." I said, ignoring his concerns and quickly walking out, waving at him from the entrance.

I felt bad for just walking out on him like that but I couldn't possibly explain why I had to be home so urgently. I was scared. Usually, when she's like this, she takes her frustrations out on me. As much as I don't want to go home, I know that it will only make it worse if I don't comply with her.

After an agonising 10 minutes of racing home, I finally reached my front door. My heart dropped when I heard the sound of bottles clanging inside. I slowly inserted the key in the keyhole, trying not to make a noise and be as stealthy as possible. As I unlocked it, I slowly swung the door open. Unfortunately, the door creaked and her drunken gaze met mine.

"Well, look who decided to show up. Have fun being a slut out there?" She asked. I hated it when she spoke to me like this.

"I- I was doing a project in the school library." I tried to justify. She suddenly hit the beer bottle on the table, breaking it.

"Don't give me excuses!" She yelled out at me holding the sharp neck of the beer bottle towards me. Her loud voice alone was enough to make me quake in fear. I felt paralysed. Like I couldn't speak anymore. Only broken syllables were leaving my mouth.

"Got something to say?" She asked angrily again. I clenched my teeth shook my heard, trying not to get her riled up even more. "Good for nothing child."

At this point, I could feel tears forming in my eyes. My vision became slightly blurry and I grew oblivious of my surroundings. So oblivious, that I didn't notice her coming near me.

"Say something, you whore!" She yelled out as she hit me on the head with another beer bottle. The bottle shattered on my head, leaving traces of glass and blood in my hair. The pain was so intense that I felt like crying even more now. "SAY SOMETHING!" She screamed at me.

"IM SORRY!" I cried. She just clicked her tongue at my loss for words and pushed me towards the staircase. The pain in my head caused me to fall from the force at which she pushed me, but I still crawled my way up the staircase.

I went straight to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. The girl looking back at me was my true self. Sullen eyes filled with a sea of lost hope, her lip was quivering as blood started to form in her nostrils. Her hair, filled with shards of glass and blood dripping from her split ends. That girl was me. Everything about her was me. I had been shattered to pieces like the broken glass in my hair.

The sight of myself is what made me cry even harder now. I finally let my tears fall as I got out the blade from the cabinet and aligned it with my skin. Before making a slit, I thought about why I'm doing this. I thought hard!

I thought about all of the pain and suffering I'm going through. I thought of the past and how disgusting that man's skin felt on mine. I thought of how she would hear him every night and did nothing until it affected her too.

Just as I finally pierced my skin, the blade only making one small incision, my phone vibrated and lit up with a notification.

🐾TaeTae🐾

<Hey, did you get home safe?]

The tears that were still streaming down my face intensified. Not with sadness anymore, but with this light sense of hope. I threw the blade to the ground and broke down on that bathroom floor. My thoughts that were going into a frenzy were no more. I just sat there, blank. Slowly, I picked up my phone and started typing a message to Tae.

[I did, thanks for checking in.>

<That's good! I had fun today~]
<We should do that again some time^^]

[That would be nice>

My tears were gradually stopping and I felt no need to harm myself anymore. Although the pain from the bottle is still there, I was in a better state of mind now. It's amazing what one single message, one single conversation, one single person can do.

I felt better after this and decided to shower and remove all of the blood and glass from my person. When I was done, I hadn't noticed a message from Tae earlier.

<It's pretty late, you gonna
go to bed now?]

[Yeah. I've got this tiny headache.>

<That's probably my fault.]
<I'm sorry for making you do all the work today. >_<]
<I'll work extra hard tomorrow]

[no no! It's not your fault!>
[you looked peaceful anyway.>
[I should have woken you up.>

<haha, you're too adorable.]
<Get some rest, you adorable creature]
<goodnight <3 ]

I chuckled at his words but the blush on my face was evident. Damn it! Why does he always make me blush like this!

[goodnight.>

<sweet dreams^^]

This conversation made me feel so much better. My head was still throbbing but I was in a better state of mind at this point. I felt a surge of happiness for once.

The next morning, I had woken up with a massive headache. I avoided my hungover mom the entire morning and took a pain killer before leaving the house. I was earlier than usual today and as I was walking to my class, a hand grabbed mine. I was hoping it was Tae or someone else friendly. Sadly, I was wrong.

"Hey doll face, how are you today?" He asked.

His expression scared me. His eyes were full of lust and had drool forming at the side of his mouth as his arm was seductively draped over my shoulder. I tried to break free but his grip tightened on me with every small movement I made. He brought his face to my neck and I shivered in fear as his breath hit my skin.

"How's about we get together at lunch and have some fun?" He asked seductively. When he heard teachers walking around the corner, he let his grip loosen and I slipped away from the male who was smirking.

I sped into my classroom, still a bit shaken from what had just happened. I walked into the class, only to find Ah Reum and her friends in there, giggling at my sullen state.

"Look, girls, it's the school's community plaything." She and her friends giggled at this statement and I just looked down in embarrassment.

I sat in my seat quietly, paying no mind to the remarks made at me. Tae and Jimin walked in and I just greeted them with a wave. I never spoke to anyone, still a bit shocked about earlier.

When the class had started, I was engrossed in the lesson. It was a math class and I tried to understand what this lady was saying about trig. My phone's vibration sent all my concentration out of the window. I opened the notification.

🐾TaeTae🐾

<psstt. Everything okay?]

It was a message from Tae. I looked back at him and noticed his face filled with concern. Jimin on the other hand was sulking when I turned around.

[fine. Just a headache.>

I was not about to tell him about earlier. It's too embarrassing that I couldn't stand up for myself and even more so after Ah Reum's remark.

I had turned back and given him a small smile, even though it was forced, it became genuine when I saw his concern melt into a smile as well.

When class was over, I didn't want to be alone. I stuck with Tae and his friends the whole day. During lunch, back to class, walking around. I even asked Jungkook to walk me to the bathroom and gave him the excuse of holding my phone since I had no pockets. Of course, I had pockets, but I just didn't want to be alone that day.

My entire week was the same. Trying not to be alone at school. Sadly, I couldn't exactly ask them to walk me home. My walks home we're agonising. I didn't even want to go to the dog park since it would be out in the open and I was scared of being spotted by that same guy that touched me at school.

During lunch, Tae and I would discuss our assignment and the points we would put in it. Of course, Ah Reum hated the attention that he gave to me. Since I was never alone at school, she couldn't bully me physically, but ddaeng if looks could kill, I'd have died 7 times by now.

My mom was drunk of course by the time I got home. Maybe my coming home early wasn't such a bad thing since she wouldn't hit me as much, but her screams still echoed in my head as she took her frustrations out on me. Work frustrations, sexual frustrations, everything. The constant torture was agonising for me. So much so that each night I would cut myself again and again to stop the internal pain.

Honestly, at this point, my whole perception had shattered. Life itself grew tedious and trite. However, Every time I considered ending it, that lingering hope would always keep me alive.

It's Friday today. I managed to survive another week of hell. Once again, I left the house early to avoid a run-in with my hungover mother. I spent my day with Tae and his friends once again but for some reason, Jimin refused to join us. I felt guilty since it's probably my fault. I guess I'll always be hated by people.

Tae and I had decided to meet after school in the library today to tie up all of the loose ends of the assignment. To be honest, I was looking forward to this. I liked being alone with him. My day seemingly dragged today since I had something to look forward to.

After school, the vicinity was more or less empty at this point with only a few students around and the teachers just starting to drive out.

I was making my way to my library to meet Tae, Just minding my own business when suddenly, someone grabbed me. When I looked at him, I noticed that it was the same guy that tried to touch me on Monday. I had squirmed in fear but I couldn't move. I was so afraid that I couldn't find the drive to even blink.

He flung his arms around my shoulders hastily and restrained me with his fingers touching my face. His touch on my skin was disgusting. He then shifted his head down and licked my ear. I quaked in fear but was still stagnant.

"Let's go somewhere private." He whispered into that same ear and my body began shivering more heavily in fear. He grabbed my arm and dragged me into an empty classroom. As much as I tried to pull my hand back, I just couldn't get free from his grip. My voice wouldn't let out either.

When he pulled me into the class, he slammed the door behind me and pushed me onto a table. He then pinned me down by holding my shoulder, making me lay flat and forced his lips on mine in a hasty manner. I tried to push him off of me but he soon moved his hand to my throat, not pressing hard enough to choke me, but hard enough to shock me and leave me paralysed.

His free hand began to move down my chest and he groped my breast angrily. I gritted my teeth harder, wanting to scream but not finding the voice to do so. He moved his hands lower down, now on my thigh. I tried to push him off once again but he angrily pushed me down by my chest, causing the back of my head to bang the table.

He moved his hand into my inner thigh and strokes my womanhood with his pinky. I shuffled on the desk more and more, trying to move my bottom half away from his hand, when he suddenly groped me. His hand moving up and down my womanhood roughly and desperately.

I hated every second of it. This feeling seemed vaguely familiar to me. This feeling. Despondency. I'd rather be dead than have to go through this again. I started to kick my legs like a small child throwing a tantrum over a toy car or Barbie doll.

He tried to hold me down but didn't notice where my feet were moving. I accidentally kicked him between the legs and he scurried away from me in pain. I used this as a golden opportunity to escape and ran out of the class with tears in my eyes.

I didn't want to meet with Tae anymore. I didn't want to be with anyone. I didn't even want to be alone. I didn't want to be alive anymore. Situations like this are the exact reason that my mom left my stepdad. The reason that I got bullied at school and tormented at home by a drunken mother.

I ran straight to the rooftop, tears streaming down my eyes like water from an opened faucet. I wanted to end it all here and now. End everything. No single person should have to live through this.

My life was flashing before my eyes as I slowly climbed over the railing. I stood there, having the cold wind blow against me. My cheeks were colder from the dampness of the tears. I just stood there and wondered, would anyone even miss me? I was tired of this, and ever so slowly, I walked closer to the edge. Crying harder now since I was taking what I perceived to be my final breaths.

I just wished I could have had a normal youth, but what is normal when you're this tainted?

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