11

I was holding a tome, walking in the library. I quickly find a perfect place to read and I immediately went there. Sumampa ako sa upuan kasabay ng pag lapag ko ng libro. I was ready to start my routine when my eyes accidently went to a place where a guy was sitting while reading. I quickly looked my eyes away there. 

How can I calm down? His presence makes me uncomfy. When that night everything changed, it's like an opprobrium for me but I can't take the fact that he's a benevolent guy. 

I focused my attention on the book that I'm holding even though I feel his stares at me. I spend my free time here. I can't count how many pages that I read but I'm still satisfied with it. I feel enervated and I feel asleep at my table. 

Minutes had passed before I opened my eyes. Lumingon ako sa paligid before stretching my arms. I looked in my wrist watch. Napatayo ako ng makita ko kung anong oras na. I'm late in our next subject. Sa pagmamadali ay may nakabunggo pa ako. "Why are you rushing?" he asked. He's calmly walking, not giving attention for what time now.

"We're late for pete sake," I can't help but to express my emotion. In my entire life as a student, I was never late when I was in school.

Kita ko ang mukha niya na nagpipigil ng tawa. I was ready to scold him when he grabbed my hand and forced me to––run. He's holding me tight. "Saan tayo pupunta? I need to attend the class. I had no time for this!" I said loudly but he acted like he didn't hear me. 

Until we reached the huge gate. There's no guard and that make me confused. Nagpatuloy pa rin siya sa paglalakad habang ako ay nakatayo habang iniisip kung anong ginagawa namin. "Don't say that we're going to escape our class?" he just smiled and continue his walk like he's doesn't care about it. 

My eyes widened when I left alone. I had no choice but to follow him. He's standing and waiting for me. "Do you want them to catch us? Then move fast." nalukot ang noo ko kasabay ng paghawak niya sa kamay ko without asking my permission.

Hindi ako makaimik ng makita ko kung anong lugar ang pinuntahan namin. It's an ancient mansion, it has many different verdant plant in its garden. Even it's old you can see how expensive it is. I really had no idea why Heewon brought me here. 

"Are you scared?" he asked. My eyes went in one window and I felt something weird. 

"My grandma said to me before that there is one guy who wants to buy it to make a family here with his girl. Grandma didn't want to sell this but when she saw how the guy loved his girl, she decided to give it to him. This home is full of memories and liveliness but she chose to bequeath it to a guy." I was quietly listening to his story while staring in every corner of the house. 

"But years passed, grandma saw nothing, there's no family or even the man who brought this." I feel something anguish for what he says. How did it happen?

"You said that the guy wants to have this and wants to build his family but why is there no person here?" he's staring at the mansion before looking back at me. I saw how his eyes curved into sadness. 

"The guy is dead." I felt ache in my heart. Habang tinititigan ko ang mansyon mas nasasaktan ako. Why does this guy need to suffer and die? I saw how sorrow and pain this place is. 

Nakatulala ako sa labas ng bintana ng coffee shop. "Are you bothered that we escape in out class?" tumingin ako sa kanya. "I was just kidding you. There's no class that time, our professor's declared that were just having a half day, your sleeping that time so you didn't hear the news." Tumagal ang titig ko sa kanya. So he made fun of me. I really thought that we escaped. 

We've been silent again while drinking our drinks. "What happened to the guy that your talking about?" Hindi ko mapigilan na magtanong.

"The same day that he brought his fiance there is the day he had an accident." 

Naabutan ko si Mom na nakatingala sa langit habang hawak-hawak ang kanyang kwintas. Lumapit ako sa kanya at tumabi. "How's your day honey?" she sweetly asked. 

I smiled. "It's exhausting but I'm okay, mom." She's staring at me for a long time. 

I feel guilt for Mom knowing that Dad cheating. "Does you really love dad?" I blurted asked. Natigil siya ng ilang sandali at pilit na ngumiti. 

"He's the best guy that I met. He's my first and last man, he'll always remain in my heart," She answered. Umiwas ako ng tingin kay Mom. He really loves Dad and who I am to be a boundary for them. 

Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Mom and she's staring at the sky while smiling. Even when I was a kid I always saw my Mom looking at the sky, sometimes she's crying while holding her favorite necklace.

Hindi ko namalayan ang paglapit ko kay Mom and I hugged her tight. Bahagya siyang nagulat pero kalauna'y gumanti ng yakap sa akin. I want to cry, when I feel her warm hug again it's been a year's when we last hugged. 

I want to show her how good and patient she is. She's always there for me but I always ignored her. I thought I could fight alone for myself but I was wrong. I am still her daughter who needs help but I'm the one who chose this life. I remember before how she cares for me, she's everything to me and I can do anything just to make her happy. I don't want to lose her, so I'm keeping silent even though it hurts me more. 

Day's had passed. I am still healing myself for everything. I know it's not that easy but I'm trying to back myself who I know as brave women. Dad talked to me about the academic thing, I can't deny that I really lost my interest in our deal. Sometimes I can't control my anger and tears when Dad starts to compare me to the new president of my old school. What does he really want? 

Nabalitaan ko kay Vessy na hindi na katulad ng dati ang paaralan namin, everything change and went back to a chaotic world. Sometimes, I ask myself if it's worth it leaving them. I lost everything I have there and I had no reason to be there again. I'm just waiting for a person to fight for justice and fairness for them, I know how capable they are to lead my old academy. I trust her. 

It's already midnight but I still can't sleep. I don't know why. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko like there's something will happen. Iminulat ko ang aking mata. Minutes had passed but still can't sleep. Tumayo ako at iniwan ang aking higaan. Tinulak ko ang pinto at lumabas. Maingat ang bawat paghakbang ko pababa ng hagdan patungo sa kusina upang kumuha ng tubig.

But my feet froze when I heard two people arguing. Until I reached the ground they didn't stop exchanging their words. They are in the living room, Mom and Dad. I saw how red Dad's face was. "I'm not dumb! I know that you had an affair with that woman! We talk about it right? Don't ruin our family just to fulfill your needs!" Mom shouted. Napahawak ako sa dingding na nasa gilid ko. Bahagya akong nagtago roon. How did she know it? 

"Don't talk to her like that! You don't have the right to say that to me. I have my own mind and don't control myself for what I want. I'm done with this family, I want to be free," He yelled. Sumandal ako sa dingding. My body is shaking. This is my biggest fear, an incomplete family. When I was a kid I believed that my family would last longer but seeing our situation made me feel heartache. 

Kita ko kung paano tumulo ang luha ni Mommy mula sa kanyang mga mata. She's staring at Dad's eyes like saying something. Umiwas ng tingin si Dad. "Both of us has no chose to leave this family you knew that. From the start I didn't force you, you insist because you want to have what position does your brother are." Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga sinasabi ni Mom. What's really happening in our family?!

Pinunasan ni Mommy ang kanyang pisngi at nagsalita, "I'm begging you. Stay, just stay as his father. Make her feel what father's love is," paunang sambit niya. "She's everything for me, she doesn't deserve your treatment. Be kind to her and I let you do whatever you want." Tumulo ang luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Mom, why do you need to beg him and ley him do whatever he wants just to be my father? I can live without him. 

Kahit nanlalabo na ang mga mata ko, tinignan ko si Dad. Looked at them using my eyes full of pain. Ibinaba ni Dad ang singsing na suot niya, the ring that they use to wear. I saw how my Mom face changed into sad. Sadness clouded her features.

Napahikbi ako sa aking nasaksihan. Kahit nanghihina ay nanatili akong tumayo. Hiding in the corner like a coward person. Why do I need to feel this things? I will lost them because of me…

I'm holding my tears. Tumahimik ang paligid ng ilang segundo. "You know I love you and I am willing to take all the responsibilities for you but I know I'm not deserve it all. We met just for our wants in life, to protect and luxury," tumigil si Dad. He looked at Mom's eyes. "You don't know how hard it is for me. Seeing you both makes me feel the world. I know how selfish I was back then but I changed because of you and Jixie. But even when I live like this I always feel that I don't deserve this spot. I don't have strong thing to hold just our ring." I saw Dad's sad smile. 

"It's time to part our world into two. This time I'm choosing myself. I want to be free, can you do the same?" Lumuluha na umiling si Mommy. 

"Why don't we just work it––"

Dad stopped her. "We can't fix it. Everything is a mess, I became evil in her eyes. I force her to do what I want. I'm swallowed by jealousy and anger. She doesn't deserve it. We can't hide it forever from her. She deserves to know the truth." 

Mahinang tumango si Mommy. "I don't want to break her heart. If she will know it, she will going to hate me." Hinawakan siya sa braso at inilapit sa kanya. 

"She's a brave woman. She can understand it, just be true to her," He said. Tumigil ang pagluha ko. I had no idea what Mom didn't want me to know. 

They hugged both that sign of there last hug as a couple. I saw how Dad lower his lips to my Moms forehead. "This is the best thing that we can do. He deserve her and she deserve him to be known." Tuluyan na akong napaupo sa sahig. Does it mean they lie to me? For what? I feel betrayed by the world. I experience to be hated by everyone and now I finally experience the taste of lie. I'm not dumb, kahit sa mahihirap na tanong kaya kong makuha ang sagot ngunit hindi ko akalain na ang buong pagkatao ko ay puno ng kasinungalingan na hindi ko man lang malutasan. 

Bumaba ang palad ko papunta sa aking dibdib. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa aking shirt na suot. Why don't I rejoice knowing that one of my wishes has happened? I feel empty. The family that I used to have is already failed to be last. My Dad that I always knew is really not my real father.