It turns out, I hadn't been bluffing. 

With the sound of the lapping water acting as a lullaby, the feeling of Ace's warmth around me and his gentle breathing, it wasn't long before I dozed off. 

"You wanna go back?" he asked softly, breaking through the haze as I nodded. "Yeah, okay."

We rose to our feet, his hand gripping mine as he slowly led me towards the car. I staggered a bit on the uneven ground but was quite impressed that I was able to reach the car without embarrassing myself. I slid into the passenger seat, slumping backwards gratefully as he entered and revved up the engine. 

My eyelids fluttered shut of their own accord, the gentle hum of the engine and the familiar scent of Ace's car oddly comforting. I wasn't sure if I was simply exhausted from everything that was happening, or it was just the whisky. But my brain for once felt too tired to be bothered about anything. 

I was jolted awake after a while when Ace gently touched my arm. 

"Hey, we're home," he said. I nodded and straightened up, the dizziness somewhat lesser than it had been before. In the grand scheme of things, I was thankful I hadn't thrown up. 

"Is it okay if you stay here tonight?" Ace asked softly and I squinted my eyes to glance at the car window, realizing that we were at his place. 

"Yeah," I nodded. "I...I don't think my mom would like me very tipsy anyway."

Guilt racked my insides when I relived our conversation earlier that evening. But I too, had already made my decision.  

We stepped out of the car and quietly made our way over to the main door. Ace held my hand, gently rubbing the back of it as he reached for his keys. I stood still as he unlocked the door and we stepped into the semi-darkness of the hallway. He glanced around for a while, as if to make sure we hadn't woken anyone up and then shut the door behind us. 

A single light flickered softly at the very end of the narrow hallway, the rest of the house was eerily quiet. I had no way to tell the time, except that it was perhaps an hour past midnight considering how long ago I had left home. 

He led me upstairs into his bedroom. I stood near the doorway while he went and sat on the bed, grinning at me. "You can sleep here."

I nodded. I walked over and crawled onto the bed, lying on my stomach and placing the pillow under my head. I sighed and buried my face into it, the sweet, seductive scent I was so familiar with lulling me into comfort. 

"Okay," I said, my voice muffled. He said something else, but I didn't really hear anything. I felt his hand gently stroking my hair before the enigmatic darkness lured me into her embrace.

*

I woke up suddenly after what felt like a few hours. I was still lying in the exact same position as I had fallen asleep. I remained disoriented for a while as the drowsiness slowly faded. I turned to my side, my eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Ace sitting beside me, leaning against the headrest, his legs outstretched in front of him. His face aglow with a light emanating from the phone in his hands. It took me a while to realize he had earphones on. 

"You're not sleeping?" I asked, surprised by my croaky voice before I cleared my throat. He turned to look at me, removing an earpiece and raising an eyebrow in question as I repeated,  "You're not sleeping?"

He sighed and removed both the earpieces, placing them on the bedside table before shaking his head and looking at me. "No. It's...hard sometimes."

"What is?" I asked, sitting up. 

He bit his lip and sighed again, raking a hand through his hair. "You know...sometimes you just get...flashes of...things."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What things?"

"My dad and the...accident and everything," he glanced away, biting his lip as if to keep it from trembling. "So...I just to stay awake as much as I can."

"I...I thought you've been better," I said, remembering all the times I had spent the night at his place and fallen asleep beside each other. "I thought you're sleeping better."

He shook his head, "Yeah sometimes. But sometimes I'll just- randomly jolt awake."

"Ace..." I began. "You've never really...told me. Exactly what happened." I tentatively reached for his hand, clasping it tightly in mine. "Do you think talking about that might help?"

He sighed, tracing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. "I don't know. There's nothing much to talk about. I just-"

"You just what?" I asked.

"Sometimes I think..." he took a shuddering breath, glancing away from me. His next words were so low, I could barely hear them. "I should've been at his place."

I felt like I was drowning under icy water. Like someone was ruthlessly throwing me against a wall. My lungs seemed to contract in agony as his implication became clearer. 

"I-" he sighed before he shook his head and rambled on, "Like...look, I'm grateful that I survived or like whatever. But...honestly speaking it would've been much better if he had instead. Like...it would be easier for everyone to move on. He would still have a child, a family. With him gone it's like I have nothing. So I guess it would just be better otherw-"

He stuttered to a stop as if realizing what he had said. I pulled my hand away from him, my chest suddenly heavy. 

"I...I shouldn't have...Miles?" he spoke softly. 

"I-I think I'll go," I said in a flat voice, my heart beating somewhere near my navel. 

I rose to my feet, feeling my pocket to make sure I had my phone as I started stumbling my way through the semi-darkness of his room. I heard the rustle of bedsheets and Ace's voice call after me, "Right now? It's half-past two."

I stuttered to a stop before turning to him and shrugging. "Yeah, so?"

"Milo, don't be dumb," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Just...just go back to sle-"

"You're a fucking moron, Archer Wilde," I said, gritting my teeth. "You're the most fucking selfish person I've ever had the misfortune to know."

His eyes widened. I wasn't completely sure where my sudden rage was stemming from, but maybe it was more of hurt than rage. 

"You are just so fucking caught up in everything that you fail to realize what you are doing to people who actually lo-care about you-" I corrected myself quickly, my cheeks burning. I rambled on in case he caught my little slip-up. "And maybe I'm being insensitive, but I'm fucking glad that you are the one who survived that day."

He didn't say anything, even though I expected him to get mad again. Maybe he was as shocked by my outburst as I myself was. 

"And do you fucking realize you talking like this about yourself makes me feel like shit?" 

He opened his mouth as if to speak, before shutting it again and gaping at me. 

"You know your constant belittling of yourself. Like how you're so useless and how you're so worthless and how you have nothing. Do you ever fucking realize what your words do to me? Or are you actually as stupid as you look?"

"I...look stupid?" he said, almost smirking. I couldn't understand why this was so amusing to him. "How can someone look stupid, Miles?"

"Why don't you look in the mirror asshole?" I glared at him, my ears ringing. 

He burst out laughing at my words and I blinked, bewildered by his reaction. 

"Alright, I will." He grinned at me. "Come here."

I balled my fists and clenched my jaw defiantly. "No."

"Miles," he spoke softly. Just that, and somehow he managed to break through all my anger. 

I sighed and walked over to him, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I glared. "What?"

He sighed, fidgeting his feet before shrugging. "I...I guess I'm sorry. I didn't say all that to make you feel like shit. It's just...the way...I feel you know? And...maybe someday it'll be okay. But for now..."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Okay. I'll...wait."

"Thank you," he said. "It's so weird when you get all angry like that."

I raised my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Like you're so...unfazed. All the time. So calm and collected. It's like...a little flash of me when you behave like that." He grinned, "Its ..an exotic sight."

I gawked at him. "You are as stupid as you look."

"Hey," he scowled. "See, now you're just being mean."

"Stating facts," I said. 

He chuckled, his eyes twinkling, and for a second, it was easy to forget the dark thoughts he had just spoken aloud to me. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, a soft glow in his eyes as he gazed at me. 

"Are you...sleepy at all?" I asked, my throat suddenly dry. 

He shrugged, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Depends, what else do you have  in mind."

I gulped and leaned forward, kissing him hungrily. Maybe it was an instinct to tell him what I wanted to without words, or maybe it was a way to make him feel worthy, or maybe I was just horny. 

He reacted immediately, his tongue meeting mine hotly. He held me close, sucking on my bottom lip and pulling at it gently. I framed his face between my hands, stroking his cheek and knotting my other hand in his hair. Our mouths opened in tandem, the kiss becoming wild when his teeth grazed my lip. 

"Come here," he whispered breathlessly, holding me close so there was no space between us. He led me to the bed, laying down and pulling me on top of him. My mouth found his again immediately, hunger gnawing my insides at the feel of his hard body under me. 

"Something like this?" I whispered hoarsely. 

He smirked, placing his hand in my hair and pulling my head backwards, trailing wet kisses down my throat as I shivered in pleasure. "I guess."

I reached for my t-shirt, hesitating for just a second before realizing I was dark and he won't be able to see me too well anyway. He held me close, his hands gently stroking my back. I shuddered at the naked touch, relaxing deeper into his embrace as his mouth found my ear and nibbled at it gently. Our mouths found each other again hungrily. I reached for his t-shirt, tugging it off him and immediately proceeding to trail kisses down his neck and to his chest. 

I straddled his waist, gazing down as he smiled softly at me. He reached for me, placing his hand against my cheek and I leaned into his touch, slowly grinding against him and letting my instinct take over. He reached for my jeans and removed them hastily, his hands exploring every inch of me like he couldn't get enough. He turned so I lay on my back, gazing up at him. 

He undressed, discarding his clothes unceremoniously to the floor as our mouths met again in insatiable hunger. He hooked my legs around his waist, leaning down so our foreheads were touching. I pulled him closer, kissing him again and again till we were breathless. He moved slowly, his tongue trailing down my neck and back to my lips. Every inch of my skin seemed alight at his touch. 

"Ace," I whispered as his hand travelled lower down my body, caressing every inch of my feverish skin. "Ace..."

His movements became faster, more desperate as our soft moans morphed into each other. Our shallow breaths, our hearts synchronized, our bodies in tandem as we edged closer towards paradise. 

We held on to each other, our mouth tongues engaged in a battle of domination. His breath, his scent, his warmth, everything was putting me in a trancelike state. Till I was suspended at the edge of oblivion, ecstasy my only being. And the anguish in my heart of imagining a world without Ace seemed to fade away into nothingness. An impossibility. 

And my heart seemed to ache with the words my tongue was too afraid to utter. But of that fact, I was finally sure. By the way my heartbeat harmonized with his, the way our bodies connected in a way that made me feel paradise, the way his words would affect me, the way his laughter would intoxicate me. I was in love with him. Desperately so. I had always been, only now, it was getting so strong that it transcended into a territory that terrified me.

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I'm pretty much improvising at everything by now. Both the story and in life. 

Let me know how the latter part of it is going on though :)

Thanks for reading!